Evolution of love

Didi Ma with Ma

The relationship of Ma with Didima was supernatural. Didima used to call her, 'Your Ma',
while Ma called her Giriji. Ma held Didima in great esteem.
Before going out of the ashram, Ma always used to touch Didima's feet in great reverence.
Once, in a hurry at Kashi ashram She forgot. However, immediately after coming out She
remembered the mistake and then and there in the lane She prostrated as if before Didima.
According to eyewitnesses Ma used to do this prostration in a spring-like action. Later, on
Didima's insistence, She stopped this tradition.
Calm and quiet, Giriji was always busy in doing puja. When asked 'for whom she is
constantly busy in doing Japa, she would reply "for the welfare of her dependents." When devotees
came to pay obeisance to her and touch her feet she would bless them by touching the devotee's
head with both the hands. She would discuss religious topics with them. But Giriji was most happy
in Ma's company. She took sannyasa to be in Her constant company. On devotees repeated queries
about Ma's earlier life she disclosed (see Note 4) "Your Ma is the personification of several avataras
that you see. She saw the avataras, not as images but full of life, in action."
Ma used to say, "don't talk of all this in My presence". Didima once recounted an incident
at Shahbagh.
It was during Kali Puja (1925) which Ma agreed to perform, on Bholanath's request, with
difficulty. "First your Ma put vermilion (sindur) on Kali and uttered hymns in praise of Kali, then
Started the puja. Gradually, She went into a trance. Asking Bholanath to give Her flowers meant forpuja She tried, but actually could not, offer them to Kali. Then She asked Bholanath to perform the
puja. She sat beside the image of Kali.
Before Bholanath took his seat - he saw Ma in a different kind of ecstasy. Ma asked all
devotees to close their eyes. Everybody did so except the gardener's wife who was standing out in
the garden. Your Ma called her out loud to comply with the request.
When Bholanath sat for puja, we all opened our eyes. We learned the reason why we were
told to close our eyes. It was Ma's change in appearance. Clothes fell off, Her face turned bluish
like Kali with tongue hanging out. I saw Her and then left the place."
We told Didima that it was said that she intended to touch Her feet just then but changed
her mind at the last moment.
Didi Ma said "yes, that is true. But then I thought - how could I give 'Anjali' to my
daughter? Therefore, I offered the holy leaves of Bel and flowers to Kali instead. At the time,
Bholanath and Ma were having their Prasad after Puja somebody said to me "Ask Ma, to whom
She was offering her Anjali?” I said to your Ma—"I intended to offer to you, but did so to Kali
instead."
A very interesting incident in Srimad Bhagavat mentions that Sri Krishna showed His
mother Yashoda the entire universe in His mouth and as soon as her parental emotions were
replaced by Sri Krishna's majestic grandeur He put a veil of ignorance before Yashoda as He was to
perform many leelas later. Similarly Didima also left at that moment; Ma was, after all, her own
daughter.
On Jhulan festival day (see note 5) at Vindhyachal ashram in 1943, a manifestation of Ma's
leela was witnessed. In the afternoon, three virgin girls were worshipped (Kumari puja). After the
Aarti when the priest began to touch their feet Ma asked them to bless the priest by putting their
hands on his head and wish him well.
Didi was sitting close by. She requested Ma to allow all of them to pay obeisance at Her feet
and She would bless them and say something similar. Ma said with a smile to Didi-"What have you
started now?"
Prompted by Didi, everybody started paying obeisance at Ma's feet. Taken aback however,
Ma readily consented to give Her blessings by putting Her hand on their head. Those who were not
present on this occasion were also called. Didi watched this magnificent Leela of Ma with great
admiration and said "whenever you start doing something, perfection and beauty blends so
splendidly that the delight of the occasion is considerably intensified.”
Meanwhile a devotee asked whether Didima too will come to seek Ma's blessings? Ma said
"yes, please call her too." Then She muttered "now this body, and Giriji's body will be united into
oneness. Yes, it is one and same. See, if Ma could do it.... "
When Didima came to the venue, Ma got down from Her seat, asked Didima to lie down on
the ground upside down. Curious devotees looked on as Ma Herself too lay down in the opposite
direction, so that Ma's head touched Didima's feet and Didima's head too touched Ma's feet. Lying
in that position, Ma said "who blesses whom? Everyone is One only. I pray to Him." She further
said, "Only one; it is from one to two, and from two comes one. He is the one who despite limits, is
limitless. He is also the one who has no restrictions, but appears to be restricted and without
appearing limitless, looks limited."
Watching this bewitching Leela, devotees fell at Ma's feet. For sometime, they all were in a
unique and serious mood.
Once, Ma was going away from Vrindavan ashram where Didima was staying. Before
leaving the ashram, Ma said to Didima —
"Stay well."
"You too Ma," Didima said, "come back soon."
Ma said, "this body is only due to your blessings. If you keep yourself well and bless it, this
body will keep well."
Ma's words filled Didima's eyes with tears. "Namo Narayan, Namo Narayan, Namo
Narayan," saying this Ma touched Didima's feet and left.
How intensely beautiful and heart touching was the leela of Ma and Didima!
Once during the 'Rakhipurnima' celebration in Vindhyachal, a lunar eclipse occurred.
Therefore, the kirtan recital continued till 3.30 am. Ma had Her Self-initiation at midnight on
Jhulan-Purnima (1922) and hence devotees prefer sitting in silence doing Japa during this time. It
was still dark at 4.00 a.m., Ma asked Didi "will you not go for a bath in the Holy Ganges?" Didi
said "No, I will not go."
Ma quickly came out of Her room. Didi said, "Ma, are you asking whether I should go now
for the holy bath? If you ask me, I will go for it."
"I am not asking you to go but I am going for the holy bath," said Ma and went to Didima's
room and asked her "Ma, will you come for the holy bath? Didima got up. Ma then put Her head at
Didima's feet and said, "I'm taking the holy bath." Ma remained in that position for some time.
Didi, Hariramji and Udasji also came in and witnessed this spectacle. Didi promptly said,
"Ma, you taught us a good lesson. Now, we will also place our head at your feet and take the
symbolic holy bath."
She did it followed by Hariramji and Udasji. When they touched Her feet, Ma said, "please
don't do it."
Didi said, "No, we will not listen to this, today."
Everybody touched Her feet, people who were sleeping or doing kirtan were also called in
to take Ma's blessings.
Ma's'Kheyal'
Ma's 'Kheyal' is a word very familiar to Sri Ma's family of devotees. It is not the subject of
logical analysis but is transcendental, beyond the range of senses. We want to be in Ma's Kheyal but
do not realise it even after getting it.
Normally, it can be described as an unexpected and sudden psychic emergence of any
action, thought, desire, will, attention, memory or knowledge. Ma describes it in a wider and
different meaning pointing Her finger up, meaning the incomprehensible acts of the Supreme. In
Ma's case, there is no ego to account for Her acts, thoughts, movements or feelings. It can be
described as spontaneous upsurge of will, which is always Divine and therefore free. Explaining it
in another way it can be said that the combined effect of desire/knowledge and action of the
supreme power joined together is Ma's kheyal. There is nothing in this universe beyond 'Her'
Kheyal.
Ma has said, "Do not misunderstand kheyal as desire or wish. Because when there is a wish,
its negative (i.e. no wish) aspect is also there. Then an element of desire is also present, initiative is
also there with wishing, but when kheyal comes, it is spontaneous and then there is no question of
importunate or otherwise.
"This body believes in one thing 'Jo Ho Jaye'. Let whatever things happen, happen, without
bothering about the consequences. Who likes it and who does not - opinions do not guide themovements of this body. It is not necessary that the person that comes in kheyal is close. One who
is far away, or one whom this body has never met, can also be included in the 'kheyal'. Kheyal may
come at any time and any place, and the result is certain. But this body can't keep a 'kheyal' all the
time."
Ma used to talk about two kinds of kheyal, definite and general. When it is definite, specific
kheyal, it is bound to happen'. No power can stop it. "This body does not always say what will
happen in future, a premonition. Sometimes, this body would agree, for instance, when someone
wished to visit Allahabad. This body knows the visit will not be fruitful. Yet, the person's insistence
for the visit is respected. If he is told not to go, he will continue thinking probably his work would
have been done had he undertaken the visit. So when he actually visits, though it is not fruitful this
dilemma is not there. Therefore, kheyal synchronises with your desires. But when the kheyal is
definite, then it is bound to happen."
Once, someone asked "Ma: why did you descend as a female and not as a male?"
Ma replied: "It was not so in kheyal. Had it been, this body would have come as a male
person."
Ma's kheyal had always been sudden strange and spontaneous without notice or reason,
with a deeper meaning and relevance. Several devotees have recounted some strange incidents in
their life which have reminded them of Ma's kheyal. A few examples are quoted here.
Once, Ma reached Vindhyachal ashram and in no time She said, "This body's kheyal is to go
to Delhi. It was Ma's kheyal —so the journey is for sure.
She took one lady (the mother of Gopal) along and left for Delhi. This lady had never
attended to Ma or never been close to Ma. So everybody at Vindhyachal was worried. But there
was no change in Ma's kheyal and Gopal's mother accompanied Ma to Delhi perfectly easily. On
the way, this lady had fever and a stomach problem. By the time they reached Delhi, it had turned
serious. Doctor operated on her to save her life. Now it can be said, due to Ma's Divine kheyal she
received back her life. If she had stayed at Vindhyachal she could not have got such prompt
medical aid. Ma had a surprise, unexpected meeting in Puri with the veteran aged Vaishnav saint
Baba Shyam Das. Mahatama Shyam Das, who was living in the temple city for quite sometime,
happened to tell his disciple about his desire to meet Ma. The disciple comforted his Guru by
insisting that if, what was said about Ma was true, She would Herself come and give Darshan to
Baba. And so it turned out when without any prior intimation, She appeared one day to meet Baba
and fullfilled the long cherished desire of the Mahatama.
Did She visit Puri for this reason alone?
On another occasion, Ma was going to Puri from Kharagpur. Waiting for the train along
with some of Her followers at the station, She suddenly spotted a middle-aged woman. Clasping
the hands of a boy, the woman was rushing in a great hurry.
Ma went a little forward out of Her Kheyal and called her aloud: "Oh mother, where are you
going?"
The woman did not respond at first but a repeat call made her stop and look back. She had
not met Ma before.
On enquiry, it transpired that the husband of this lady was seriously ill and needed
immediate medical attention. But the lady had no means to face the situation. Distraught and
confused, she was running from pillar to post in search of help, and at this very moment Sri Ma
called her. was strange that Dr Anil Maitra, a reputed doctor of a Government hospital in Calcutta,
happened to be with Ma at the station. Ma looked at him. Dr. Maitra promptly responded. He gave
his address and asked the lady to contact him at the hospital.
What would be a difficult task even with money and recommendation in a metropolis like
Calcutta was accomplished within minutes, thanks to the momentous call of Ma.
Not only that, Ma's followers took care to give the lady and her child a good meal and also
arranged for their travel to Calcutta.
Moved by the incredible turn of events and her stroke of luck, the lady repeatedly called Ma
in reverence. But Ma Anandamoyee was back to Herself, lost in Her world of wandering,
unconcerned with the events.
Was this event a coincidence, a miracle or Ma's kheyal? Was it the cup of compassion from
the Mother of the Universe to Her child?
Ma has said, "These events sometimes unfold on their own; sometime they are destined.
Everything is possible. If the kheyal is strong that it should not be allowed to happen, then it does
not. But such a decision is not always taken. More often, it is accepted that people wouldn't believe,
things are bound to happen the way they do."
Once, without any prior intimation, Ma landed up at Varanasi. And within two hours of Her
arrival, She had veteran Brahmachari Yogeshdada of the ashram initiated by Swami Narayanand
Tirth into Sannyas. The sacrament over, Ma wanted the occasion to be photographed.
But there was no photographer in sight. Time was short for calling one for the job.
However, it was Ma's kheyal and in no time there appeared a hippy-like foreign tourist with a
camera suspended from his shoulders. He was asked to see Ma. He was thrilled to get Ma's Darshan
in this way. Only too pleased to oblige Ma, the person perhaps had never dreamt of facing such a
situation!
Ma's kheyal is infinite whenever in the world and in whatever situation a person may be, by
Ma's kheyal at the very moment he finds himself before Ma. Ma's kheyal is all pervasive. Once,
Durga puja was being held at Kashi ashram. Ma was seated in Her appointed place. The Chandi
mandap was packed to capacity. People were all having a glimpse of the Divine mother. I was
standing close to Ma when I overheard Ma muttering "Bindu, Bindu" (the late Samirnath
Mukherjee of Allahabad). After that, Ma as usual, became busy with devotees. But I saw, Binduda
(Mr. Mukherjee) making his way through the crowd towards Ma. Such Divine kheyal! Simply
unexplainable!
Ma narrated one incident- once She went to see Haribaba who made elaborate arrangements
for Her welcome at his ashram at Bandh near Aligarh. An elephant was arranged for Ma to sit on.
Haribaba asked his devotees to offer their backs and hands for Ma to help Her climb on the
elephant. But Ma did not agree to it. She thought that it would look awkward if Haribaba and the
devotees all walked doing the kirtan and She would be sitting on elephant. But Haribaba insisted.
Then She had a 'kheyal' and in a split second She promptly climbed up with the helping hands of a
disciple. “Normally, it would have been difficult to do. But when the kheyal came, it was bound
to happen." Anything is possible if there is the kheyal. Pointing to the palm tree under, which She
was sitting, Ma said, "if the kheyal comes, this body can be on top of this tree in no time."
In another incident, when Ma was in Kishenpur ashram, Dehradun, news came that the
Swamiji of the local Ramkrishna Mission had left for his heavenly abode and he would be given
Samadhi, at 9.30 hours next morning. At that time, only a few devotees were there. Ma asked them
to make a garland of the flowers available there. But the flowers collected were not enough for a
garland. Ma was told about this. Next morning before leaving the ashram She was strolling near the
66ashram gate. Suddenly a car came and stopped in front of the gate. A gentleman came out, with a
nice garland of flowers, surely meant for Ma. Ma took the garland from the hands of this
gentleman, who had come to meet Ma for the first time on his way from Dehradun to Mussorie.
Ma's kheyal was thus fulfilled and garland was made available in time!
I used to live alone in Kashi with my mother, whose health was failing. Once, someone
suggested that we tell Ma about her illness and seek Her advice.
When Ma came to Kashi ashram, one day I mentioned it to Her. Ma gave a very
compassionate look at me — the deep, probing sight seemed to clear the darkness of ages — and
said, "let the time come then it will be seen."
Many years later, in September 1980, Guripriya Didi was seriously ill at Bombay. So I
decided to have my mother stay with the younger sister in Delhi, and go to Bombay to stay with
Didi for sometime. We started off well. Suddenly my mother's health deteriorated during the
journey. She had to be hospitalised on reaching Delhi. I felt very sad since I was responsible for
taking her away from Kashi (it is said that one who dies in Kashi gets liberated). But I cannot
imagine the priceless present Ma would give to my mother and to me in this way. I also did not
know that Ma had brought Didi from Bombay to Kashi.
At Delhi, I was not alone. Lots of our relatives were at my mother's bedside. She remained
in hospital for 4-5 days. Seeing there was no chance of her recovery we took her to Vrindavan by
car as if prompted by Ma. When we reached Vrindavan in the evening, we came to know that Ma
had also come there from Kashi the same morning. Had we taken my mother to Vrindavan four or
five days before, things would have been different. Now, in Ma's presence, excellent arrangements
were made for my mother and all those who accompanied her there. Again by Ma's grace and Her
kheyal my mother was initiated into sannyas, and renamed Swami Atmananda Giri."
For three days, she lived in the ashram under Ma's Divine kheyal. Amidst the melodious
kirtan of Dasu Maharaj, uttering her sannyas mantra, she left for the heavenly abode in an open sky.
In this way, Ma's kheyal was fulfilled and her words, "Let the time come, it will be seen" proved
providentially true.
In 1975, on the day of Akshay Tritiya, the idol of Puran Purush was consecrated in Ma's
divine presence. Many Mahatmas graced this occasion. Ma was in a special mood. She had a
kheyal that the Amrita Bhog of Heaven should be offered to Puran Purush. Nobody knew how to
prepare it. They had only heard a little about it. Sweet rice was made into Amrita Bhog.
It was decided that matchsticks would not be used for lighting the fire. The fire could not be
brought from the yagnikund also by any means, even wood sticks. But the Amrita Bhog was to be
cooked by the fire from the yagnakund only. Even Swami Bhaskarananda, who was with Ma, was
looking desperately towards Ma to see how to give shape to Ma's novel 'kheyal'.
Then Ma gave the solution. She said, "use the clothes of this body to hold the fire."
What She suggested was done. Amrita was cooked and distributed by Ma Herself.
At nightfall during Aarti 125,000 cotton wicks soaked in pure ghee were lit at the threshold
of the Puran-Purush temple. Ma instructed everyone to circumambulate round them.
Ma's kheyal is the perception beyond the range of the senses. The destitution of our own
state remains and even under the constant touch of Her kheyal we fail to realise it. Let this life be
lived in Ma's kheyal— is my earnest desire.