Can We Talk 2

getting Old Is Not For Sissies

         I've said it often, and so have many others. You have to be tough to survive getting old. Everything on the body slows up, dries up, creaks, or refuses to co-operate at one time or another, or even all at once. Our balance isn't what it was at 35, no matter how much you dance or jog or practice Tai Chi. Then there's the aches and the pains.

         But let's not forget the slowness of mind. I've noticed I can keep up with senior Jeopardy better than regular Jeopardy. They respond a little more slowly, although they may know a great deal more. They say it's because it takes our brains a long time to go through the thousands of files to retrieve the right answer. It's not just our brains, but our motor responses, too. It's been proved our reaction time while driving is a tad slower. And of course, our hearing affects our reaction. We have learned to compensate for hearing loss by mulling it over subconsciously figuring out the logic of the sounds we managed to take in. That's why we seniors take a bit longer to answer everyday conversation.

         There's also the ever present age prejudice from the not so old culture. Employers or hiring managers decide that we can't make changes, that we aren't up to date on technological data, or that we're simply too conservative to work in today's marketplace. We might use up too many benefits, raising the costs, or just be a drag on the younger workers. We have to listen to remarks about not walking as fast or being out of fashion or having a hearing problem (which means we're left out of conversations). If you try to be a friend and show a co-worker how to do a job more efficiently or more thoroughly, you're being stodgy or a fussbudget. I heard a worker say that people over 55 should give up their jobs and let young people have them. (It wouldn't work; they'd then complain about supporting old people still capable of working.)

         And for women, it's a little worse. Because beauty always matters with women more than men, people want to put women out to pasture sooner. Sure, AARP featured some attractive older women on the front cover of their magazine. But who can afford their spa treatments and plastic surgery? And why should real women undergo the mutilation of their bodies to look like celebrity seniors? Yet those are the models held up for us.

         No, you can't be a sissy about getting older. You have to have a "thick skin", although your real skin may be thin and crepe papery. You have to hold up your chin and make those regular visits to the doctor's office for you and your spouse or elderly kin, slather on your night cream, and wish that your jowls were not sagging so quickly southward. You tune a deaf ear to the twenty year old who thinks she's going to be chipper and perky forever, and listen to your own voice saying you're smart and experienced and creative. I am tough. I've lived through some bad things. I can take this getting old stuff, no matter how much I'd rather be agile and beautiful. If I have to trade in my outer strength, I'll take the inner strength.