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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/903886-Orange-you-in-a-pickle-now
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2017254
My random thoughts and reactions to my everyday life. The voices like a forum.
#903886 added February 3, 2017 at 8:57pm
Restrictions: None
Orange you in a pickle now?
         PROMPT: Many of the food-related traditions associated with the Chinese New Year, including eating fish, sweet rice dumplings and certain veggies have their origins in Mandarin-language homophobic puns. Jot down a list of food-related homonyms like "lettuce" and "let us", or "beets" and "beats", or others with multiple meanings like "milk" and "cake". Weave us a story to celebrate. Lettuce begin with the rooster. Creativity matters...
          Is it that time of the year again? The Chinese New Year, or Spring Festival parades in with not just celebratory food, but food puns. Huh, I confess that I have absorbed some new wisdom, the sort that doesn't weigh heavy with excess calories. So, the Chinese partake of food AND puns. The most I ever anticipated from a meal of Chinese takeout was a fortune cookie... I am intrigued...Why all the fuss about a leafy veggie known as lettuce?? Ahh, the Mandarin words for "lettuce" and "to make money" sound alike, gotcha. They associate the humble lettuce with prosperity. Hmm, the dieters I know reluctantly dine on salads created from lettuce in the belief that it has zero calories, and thus, inhibits weight gain. Lettuce is viewed as restrictive, a necessary evil. Heck, at this time of year lettuce is not an inexpensive food either. In the spirit of an eventual Spring and thaw, I shall endeavour to scramble my little grey cells to sell my fellow bloggers a tale, not a tail, about food...
          In the esteemed Year of the Rooster, two dogs, not pigs, decided to tie the knot. Love was in the air next to the towering fir, as the groom stuttered out a proposal that he hoped would avoid the flying of fur. Despite his pounding heart, he was ready for a clause that vowed "forever after", and " until death do us part." As he knelt and proffered the shiny ring to his beloved, he noticed how he just had to wring his own hands as her claws snatched up the golden carrot dangled before her. At first he wasn't certain, here in this spot, if he would hear an acceptance, but, no, despite the mist in his eyes, he did not miss it. Hallelujah, his bride-to-be did not squash his dream! They celebrated their betrothment with wine as they listened to the evening whine of mosquitoes.
         Fast forward several whirlwind months later, and it's the big day, the day of their wedding. Lots of dough had been spent to create a peach of a wedding ceremony. With a flourish, and a "Lettuce gather here to unite," the minister began by asking if anyone had a beef with the matrimony of the two dogs. Then he preached a long piece about love and peace that caused many an eye and head to roll in silent protest. It was difficult for the grown guests to conceal their groans. It was certainly something that this padre was allowed to be long-winded, but a rooster does like to hear himself aloud. He worries himself not that his fan fare is not fair to others.
          Finally, the "I do's" were due. No more staring at the ceiling, but sealing the marital vows. The happy couple promised to cherish their honey bun, the apple of their eyes. They kissed to hoots of, "Orange you in a pickle now?" The rooster assured the new couple that it was a wrap. Guests heard, "I'll escort my new bride down the aisle."
         Of course, the festivities continued with the posing for cheesy photos, the eating of cake, and the dancing to classics such as 'Sugar ,Sugar' and 'Lollipop, Lollipop'.

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