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30DIC Day 21: Any One Will Do

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What's up y'all? Ugh, I hate getting a late start and writing blog entries at night...used to do it all the time, but I guess I've somehow managed to fix my non-schedule of life activities in such a way that makes it easier to do things in the mornings and afternoons. Except the mornings and afternoons when I have things I need to leave the house for, like therapy sessions.

Anyway, this is Day 21 of the "Invalid Item" , which means every poem I've written this month has a picture attached to it. Normally I wouldn't tell you that cuz it's not a big deal, but I actually wrote a poem this morning without the aid of a picture prompt...first time I've done that in three weeks, which coincidentally was also the first item in "Also Mutants" . And it's also cool cuz I kinda like it actually...it's "Piano Key Bang" , and it's a little humorous (but not "bus' yo ass" funny).

I also wrote a pretty terrible poem but probably a really good so-so commercial jingle for like an exercising company(?)...seriously, it's terrible. Like, I-couldn't-even-finish-it bad. I didn't even wanna rip the page outta my notebook cuz I didn't wanna offend my trash. I'm saving it because I like the opening line. The rest, I swear, if you hear on a radio commercial, get at me please...someone's gonna hafta pay me for unauthorized use of crappy poem-like substances in their ad campaigns. The work in question is "All Stretched Out" , which really is only the best use of a mediocre title. This is the world I pretty much live in these days.

I mentioned therapy at the top, and today being Wednesday I had the group session (with tomorrow being my individual). I'm a worrier; like most people, actually. But I worry about the dumbest shit. Y'all are worryin' about your 401k, and if the president's gonna bomb either of the Koreas (on purpose or accident) (ok, I worry about that too) and whether or not you should eat that last taco because you're fat (yes)...I'm over here with no horses in any races but I'm still all like "Robots will be doing our jobs by 2005!" [Note to self: It's 2017 already. If you're gonna keep worrying about this, update something. Anything.] This is one reason I don't get trusted with large amounts of money.

But really...aren't you worried that someday robots are gonna be doin' all the shit Americans are too lazy to do? And then they'll figure out how to do more, and suddenly the only people actually working are people who build, program, and/or fix robots? And when robots learn how to do that, it's Game Over for us, man. Like, I don't even wanna know what our endgame is as the human race, provided we make it that far to see the day the robots take over. I won't read any books or watch any movies about it. That, and falling in the shower and cracking my head and bleeding out while drowning, are like my only fears, homie.

I did, however, write a poem about it which both got away from me in about thirty different ways and ended up being humorous in a ridiculous kinda way. And for some reason I'm not ashamed of it. It's got both a made-up word and a fictional place, and it spoofs politics and religion and pop culture (sorta). It will not make anyone's "Greatest Poems Of 2017" list. You probably won't even laugh at it, or enjoy it, because that's almost the week I've been having. But whatever, I don't care. Another three-banger puts me at 32 poems in 21 days. And I kinda like some of 'em...so I guess that's not bad.

Any One Will Do

There's an alternate universe where
cable news stations are alerting
viewers that Jesus Christ is
coming, and- you won't wanna
miss this- he's a robot. His
prep work on us is almost over...
he's been reading all the Harlequin
classics at the Hopedale Memorial
Public Library And Ladies
Auxiliary Landfill For The Almost
Homeless, and he likes what he sees.
Thinks he'll fit in. Maybe get laid, even.
Assuming, of course, our lord and
lotharial savior isn't deported first.
But the real story- the one
the news doesn't tell you- is
that Robot Jesus is made of
Lego brick knock-offs, and
running a magnet over his
circuit board causes him to
question his sexual preference.
Meaning: all his book-learnin'
is doin' is he could be lovin' you
while thinkin' about someone else.
And in this alternate universe,
that one sin is greater
than all the rest combined,
but that's not concerning
to the loyal news patriots
or moral zealots who
think they have a chance.

         "Any One Will Do"  from "Also Mutants" .

My only regret today is that I couldn't think of a way to use the following picture of my own writing collection, because that's what the robot first reminded me of ...

If I'd had like an old ET doll or something, I totally would've tried to photoshop it in or somethin', to try and recreate the prompt. Of course, I don't really know how to photoshop things, which means I'll probably be one of the first ones sacrificed when the robots start overthrowing governments and asserting their power.. I'm basically almost useless to them .

And when the robots develop emotional capacities and feelings and reasoning and coping skills, we're fucked. Doomed, I tell you! We better figure out something to do once the robots really catch on to the idea that there is no Plan B once they do everything science fiction claims they'll be able to do.

"One More Robot/Sympathy 3000-21"   -The Flaming Lips

"One more robot learns to be something more than a machine.
When it tries the way it does, makes it seem like it can love."

It's that time again...Auction Season! There are thirty packages to bid on, including the usual reviews and awardicons...plus a slew of Exclusive MBs (like, all of Elle - on hiatus 's!! ), a magazine subscription, a Starbucks gift card, and membership upgrades! And it benefits WDC's Rising Stars, which you know is a fantastic organization lookin' out for the newbie black and yellow cases. It runs through July 20th; get in on the action here :

FORUM

Future Rising Stars Auction IS CLOSED!  (E) Auction, arranged by 2016 - 2017 Future Rising Stars. #2124492 by Choconut ~ House Targaryen

Y'all think I'm playin' about this robot business, don't ya? I'm not! I actually belong to a Facebook group, The Solution  ...which is dedicated to, among other things, automated labor and its affect on the workforce.

And just wait until those robots learn how to perform surgery...not only will they go through with installing microchips in our brains, but the government is already working on plans to do so anyway. Any guesses as to who might be the first recipients of such technology? Why, those with mental health concerns  , of course!

And finally, when the robots really do take over, you know it's just one more thing we can blame on the millennials  . Back in my day, we just died .

Alright all you crazy kids...it's almost bedtime for this guy, and yet I still have so much to do for some reason. I haven't even had a chance to find obscene cat memes for Kit of House Lannister yet, and that's like the highlight of my day and all that. This blogging at night thing is gonna throw off my entire internal clock...which'll prolly make me ripe for hostile robot taker-overing or whatever they call it in their fancy lingo. Don't trust walkie-talkies; they're just instruments of our new overlords! Peace, a sympathetic wish, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!