Soundtracked

30DIC Day 29: New Sleeps

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Ugh, you guys...I don't even wanna write this entry today, for realz yo. It's gonna be full of all kindsa craziness that I know nothing about, and I'm not sure how well I'll be able to stand behind everything that goes down in here today. But I hafta start somewhere I guess, so let's get the obvious out of the way with what's now seemingly become over the last couple years my official summertime tantrum/motto/advice tradition-like substance:

Now an even bigger meme in 2017!
Just like the game.

And by "obvious summer advice" I don't mean "bras are not wallets, ladies" ...you don't like boob sweat and I don't like your boob-sweaty money. Anyway, no...I mean JFC it's "Game of Thrones"  season already around here?? It's all over the newsfeed...like seeing Christmas stuff in stores before school starts in September. Has everyone finished recovering from the last one yet? I mean, with the percentage of WDC members playing last year hovering around 83.819%, surely someone's still bound to be locked in a food- and sleep-deprived basement somewhere in middle America, reviewing something I last wrote and looked at in 2003. I don't watch the show and kinda don't care, but you can't be on WDC and not know what it is, so the best I can do is help you get caught up   before the game here and the current season on whatever platform it's on begins.

Anyway, here's my annual (ok, every-13th-month) plea: Please do not ask me to join your team or house or franchise or timeshare. Also, I will not sponsor a house, organization, beer league softball team, or recovering beer league softball alcoholic in AA. I will not cheer your house, car, boat, or the New England Patriots. I'm not buying flags or armor or shields or girl scout cookies or your excuses. Don't ask me for advice or clarification on the rules, because I have never once bothered to try and figure them out. Consider me a persona non grata in whatever fictional country your fictional game is happening in. In accordance with previous years, I am responsible to only one person that month- Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm - and I have a job to do, which is read and judge. Or something.

tl;dr: Don't ask me shit cuz I ain't playin'.

Seriously. It's not cuz I don't like you or have somethin' against you or I'm lookin' out for somebody else. It's just that I legit do not have any interest in it, but I will help out a friend who happens to be running an event. And that means not taking part in it. I may as well be of use somewhere, right?

I will share a helpful tip though...know what GoT has taught me over the years? Make sure your port is in good reviewing order . Now's a good time to get it organized, and set all the things you don't want reviewed or read to "Private" . And stay hydrated. Oh, that's a bit of summer advice .

Honestly, I really don't watch that much tv at all; I don't even have cable, and have probably lived half of my adult life without a television, actually. Nowadays, just at night as I'm falling asleep I'll stream some stuff...and it's probably like the same five or six shows over and over . Seems like whenever Game Of Thrones or The Walking Dead is on, that's all people know and wanna talk about. I'm over here like "I cured cancer and won a water polo championship and translated all of Trump's tweets into a polite words your grandma can read and understand with no disgust!", and all y'all are like "OMG dude Negan and Daenerys, bruh!! They were totally making out on top of that unicorn thing last night! Until they got shot and set on fire and winter and RAAAAAAAGE BOOOOOOOOONER!!" and that's when I walk away because I hate you all.

Which, dude, I don't even know what compelled me to get into trying to write some kind of zombie poem today, speaking of TWD. And it's not even just a zombie poem; it's like a zombie hook-up poem. Because once I start digging a hole, I seriously do not know when to stop. The neat thing is that once I had a kinda cool title, I started riffin' on it...and what came out was totally, absolutely unrelated to the picture prompt I wanted to use, or the other picture, or the title, so I changed the title and it became "Fine" , which you should totally read cuz it's kinda alright and I'd totally enter it in today's "Invalid Item"  over basically the zombie Tinder I invented a little bit later on. I know probably even less about zombies than I do GoT, other than my baseless opinion that zombies are probably the dumbest, clumsiest characters out of all the villainous horror creatures, including bats. And all I know about GoT is whatever I learned from some of these memes  , until I got bored and didn't feel like scrolling anymore.

New Sleeps

I'm not here
for my looks          or your brains.
I'd rather be alone, but since
you're in my way          I guess
I'll have to figure out
a place where you can
stay and sleep          with me.
And you don't have to tell
but if anyone asks, say
"He's not the undead; he's just
making room          for the
new arrivals and he
needs a hand." I can
almost live with that          and you.
But if I find
you're taking up too much room,
it'll be you          moving the stones
and          breaking in the new sleeps.
I might not be able to
undo the undead, but          I can
get you almost all the way          there.

         "New Sleeps"  from "Also Mutants" .

Again, finding a song was kinda a pain in the ass for some reason! Had a few options that just weren't good enough (not that I actually have standards, but still...) and then I looked up this song and found a really cool cover of it instead, which includes the lead singer of Deftones so that's a win for me. And I also love that the song itself is basically from the perspective of an infant rather than that of a zombie (in fact, this song has nothing to do with zombies). What it is, it's a good excuse to put Faith No More in a blog entry though, is what it is!

"Zombie Eaters"   -Ill Niño w/Chino Moreno

"I begin to see through your eyes...
all the former mysteries are no surprise."

Not gonna lie; having social anxiety can almost turn you into a zombie, especially on occasions where you kinda hafta interact with people and they catch you off guard no matter how well you think you're prepared and have convinced yourself that it's gonna all be smooth encounters...fuck that, they almost never are. And honestly, I've done or felt a lot of these things   before; some even as recently as this week. That's just life, for me and for a lot of others. It doesn't mean we don't wanna be invited to your party or spoken to like a normal human being...we just, uhhh, we're running continual software updates while trying to simultaneously open and close eight tabs on two laptops, and can't figure out which one of them is playing audio .

As you may be aware, I'm not really much of a cat person...so maybe I'm gonna need Kit of House Lannister 's input on this. I'm not sure what's more terrifying...zombies, or zombie cats  . I'm going with zombie cats, for the record.

And finally, I'm convinced (also baselessly, like my other zombie opinions) that zombies are the risen victims of serial killers, coming back to Earth to finish the job of their master/demon/murderer-person-thingy. Seems plausible, right? And ok, not that I would, like, actually advocate violence, but if you're doing any of these things then here's how I know you're a serial killer  ...and if you're doing #5 or #8 especially, maybe you need to be taken out by a serial killer. Jus' sayin', y'all.

Alright...hey! Whaddya know? One day left in June and the "Invalid Item" , and I've got in fifteen entries to qualify for this month's running of "The Bard's Hall Contest" , with a day to spare! Not bad for probably having all of fifteen entries total in the year previous ...but you'll have that. Guess I should take a look and see what else is goin' on around here...peace, wipe my butt, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!