Angel Whispers

Sofa Sloth

The house I moved from mostly had fitted furniture, so there wasn't a lot to bring to my new abode. On top of that, due to a tricky entrance porch and no access to the back of the property or any patio windows my old three piece suite was too large and had to be left behind. Dennis and I spent several weeks fighting over one chair while we waited to select a new suite. He of course owns two cat beds, but neither of them seem to appeal to him. Typical feline behaviour.

I found a suite in the right colour that would fit through the doors and in the positions I had chosen. The company I bought it from used to advertise on the television using a cute sloth called Neal as the main character. He became so popular with the public he was almost a cult figure and the company promised a replica toy Neal to every customer who purchased furniture from them.

The advert hasn't been seen in a while and I'd forgotten about Neal when I ordered my suite. I was delighted when they reminded me I would receive my very own free Neal with my new suite. When it was finally delivered it was accompanied by a note explaining because Neal is a sloth he's very slow, but was on his way and would arrive at a later date.

I waited and waited, but no Neal turned up. In the end I phoned the company and was assured they would send one out within twelve days. Twelve days passed and still no Neal, so I phoned again only to be told that Neal was now extinct and they were very sorry but I wouldn't be receiving one after all.

Obviously I was disappointed, but knowing some people don't like Neal or don't want one with their new suite I was aware people sell them on eBay, sometimes for quite extortionate prices. I checked and there were quite a few for sale at a reasonable price. I was going to buy one, then thought just a minute, a promise is a promise, so emailed the company and suggested they buy me one instead. I didn't think for a minute they'd agree but it was worth a try.

A couple of days later a squishy parcel arrived in the post and I was delighted to find it contained a brand new Neal. There was no letter with it and the address on the envelope was handwritten, so I thought maybe one of my friends had bought it for me after I'd complained about the situation to them. I asked around, but no, it seemed Neal had arrived from the company concerned so I duly thanked them and now Neal spends his days slothing about on one of my new sofas.

I don't know why, but every time I look at him it makes me think of Kåre Enga in Montana