thoughts, words, deeds

getting to know you

Prompt: Elizabeth Strout says she listens in others’ conversations a lot, and in one of her books, she lets one of her characters say, “People are always telling you who they are” even when they are talking about other things. Do you agree? Do you favor this method of seeing into people, then using it in your writing?

I agree that people tell you who they are no matter what they are talking about, but I would like to add that they tell even more about who they are by what they do, which sometimes is at odds with what they say. Everything that a person is manifests itself in how they behave, especially when they are interacting with other people.

And I try to make that manifest in my writing. I mean, for goodness sake, I wouldn’t believe a character who said: I’m an honest man of about twenty-seven years old who loves his mother and works as an accountant while building model trains in my spare time. I don't know what he's lying about, but he would have to be lying about something. For one thing, people don’t talk like that unless they are in the middle of a getting to know you game. For another, someone who is truly honest is likely to be anxious about it because it's too important to them to be flippant about.

On the other hand, everything in the statement may be true, but I would prefer to have a character who showed his age by how he dressed or what music he listened to, who revealed his occupation and interests as he was in conversation with another character. So, yes, I use what a character says to help create his character, and I prefer it if he or she is talking about other things instead of trying to convince the audience about who they are.