Blogocentric Formulations

Three Things #6: Things I'd Do If I Weren't So Afraid

I'm piggybacking on Brooklyn 's prompt for blog posts about "three things" in a variety of categories. I'm not sure if this is going to be a daily thing, a "post them all this weekend" thing, or a "whenever I get around to it" kind of thing, but I'm committed to blogging about everything on her list. For reference, the categories are:

Theme: Three Things
Three things you can’t go without.
Three celebrity crushes.
Three favorite book characters.
If you had to evacuate your home because of a natural disaster, what three things would you take with you?
Three pet peeves.
Three things you’d do if you weren’t so afraid.
Three favorite TV shows.

I might as well take these in descending order, so here are three things I'd do if I weren't so afraid.


Work for myself. By far, the thing I would most love to do if I weren't so afraid would be self-employment. At this point, I graduated from college fourteen years ago and have worked for seven employers in that span of time. Without exception, each place I've worked has proved frustrating in terms of how they take care of their employees. And that's not to say that I haven't really enjoyed and/or been blessed by some of my jobs (I absolutely have). It's just that every company I've worked for, to some extent, has been a more or less one way street when it comes to really investing in my career. I've been laid off twice, absorbed the job responsibilities of other departing employees countless times, and have been repeatedly denied promotions or raises even when there was a clear justification for them. And I'm a workaholic, so most of the time I just buckle down and work harder, regardless of how many more responsibilities they pile on me, or how many times they turn me down for a little extra money or recognition when I do so. More and more, I'm enticed by the idea of working for myself, where the long hours and hard work will go to my direct benefit rather than the benefit of my employer. The problem is, I crave the normalcy of a steady paycheck, benefits, etc. and am afraid of striking out on my own only to have the work dry up and have to start worrying about making the rent on time. One of these days, even if it's scary, I'd love to step out in faith and try a freelance self-employment situation where all the hard work and extra effort I put in has a direct impact on my bank account and my professional success.


Skydive. I think I would love skydiving once I was out of the plane. I've heard friends talk about how amazing it is to be floating above everything, watching the world unfold before you. It's just that first step out of the plane and the first few moments where gravity takes hold that terrify me. Well, that and the constant voice in the back of my head that goes, "What if the parachute doesn't open?" Something tells me that if someone were to forcibly take me up in a plane, strap me into a chute, and then shove me out the door, I'd probably end up loving the experience afterward. Maybe.


Live a more nomadic life. This kind of ties into the first one a bit, but because I need the security of a regular job (and since my industry is geographically limited), I've never lived outside of California. The first half of my life was growing up in Northern California, and the second half, thus far, has been living and working in Southern California. And while I love California, part of me has always had an itch to broaden my horizons. I'm not sure I'd want to permanently relocate anywhere, but there's something inherently appealing to me about the idea of living in a bunch of different places for a fair stretch of time. Eighteen months in Europe, a year in New York, six months in Sydney, a month in the Maldives, or whatever. Maybe even a three-month-long road trip where I could drive across the U.S. and stay in a different town every night, discovering all that our 50 states have to offer. Maybe I'll give this a shot one day if the self-employed thing ever works out and I don't need to be tethered to a specific location indefinitely. At the very least, since my wife is a teacher and gets summers off, it'd be amazing to just pack up after the last day of school and be like, "Okay everyone, for the next ten weeks we'll be bouncing around East Asia for a while... see you at the beginning of the school year!"