Can We Talk 2

Return of The Living Dead

         I finally saw this movie. In broad daylight. I'd heard a lot about it. I once read it was a spoof of The Living Dead. That word should have stuck with me. I was expecting to be scared. I expected gore. I didn't expect to burst out laughing early in the movie.

         It did have the expected nasty scenes, eyeballs, melting flesh, but not very realistic. There were two moments that caught me off guard: the "dead" jump up and bite someone's head to eat the brains. Each of those two times make me start and got a big "ew". Most of the time I just shook my head at the incredible stupidity of the story and some of the bad acting. (That doesn't mean they were bad actors. It does mean they had to act according to the script which called for acting badly.)

         The stupid decision that started the saga was done by a middle aged man trying to entertain the new teenage employee. Generally, stupid decisions are done by the teenagers in horror films, but dumbness comes at all ages. Very soon into the story a beat-up convertible packed with teenagers did show up. They were stereotyped punkers with appropriate garb, piercings, and language. They were to be the first victims of the "dead". Of course, a funeral home and a cemetery were part of the setting. There was lots of mud, also a frequent component of many horror films.


         I suppose when people are hysterical, they might act like these characters did. The redeeming quality for me was the presence of Clu Gulager, who played the owner of the medical supply place. Even some of his lines had me wondering if he ever acted in comedy. He didn't have that many lines, so there was no opportunity for character development. In fact, none of the actors got to develop their characters. unless you call instantly turning from a rebellious, acting-out teen into a scared to death, hiding teen development.

         Horror movies generally, with a few exceptions, contain some nudity or gratuitous sex. I have a feeling this one did have a half naked girl, because of one particular scene in the crowded car where the painted up girl had bare shoulders which had previously been covered and were again moments later. On the ground in the cemetery earlier, she was getting turned on thinking about the ways people die. So predictable. I was watching on AMC which would have had to censor such scenes. They bleeped a lot of words, bad language being an element of the run-of-the-mill horror movie, too.

         If you're looking to be frightened, this is not your movie. If you like being grossed out, this might do it for you. (All vomiting is done off camera.) If you want to laugh, this probably is not your first choice. I guess I laughed because it caught me off guard. If you're a Clu Gulager fan, you have to see this just out of loyalty. He doesn't disappoint. I hope I haven't ruined it for you.