Can We Talk 2

Expected Snowfall

         We've had some flurries, but now expect a big snowfall tonight. I'm going out soon to the store to gather up some supplies. We have milk, bread, and toilet paper, but there's a long list of non-snow stuff.Maybe we'll do some Christmas shopping.

         I've got sore arms from doing TRX training at the gym. I do this every week, and every week, I get sore, but it seems like a different set of muscles hurt. I have a little more muscle tone in general, but I just can't give up all the junk food and diet sodas. I went to a brunch yesterday where there were so many goodies! Mini ham biscuits and fruitcake cookies were my favorite. But I had to sample everything. I fixed oyster stew for Dad's supper last night. I spilled the black pepper, which made it a little too hot for me. Yet he loved it, and I didn't mind, even though my throat was burning.

         I have plans for Christmas morning, if the weather holds out. My brother is undergoing chemo and radiation. He has his next treatment two days before Christmas, so we know he'll be too sick to go out. He lives about 30 minutes out in the country from me. He's losing weight and his appetite is down, but he loved the cranberry fruit relish I made at Thanksgiving, which another brother took to him with other holiday foods from my house. So I'm going to make a batch just for him and some sausage stuffing. We eat oyster stew on Christmas morning. Since all the kids are now doing Santa with their own children, we older ones still gather for breakfast. So I'll carry him some oyster stew and crackers. He can heat it up when he has a little appetite. He mostly just grazes now, a little at a time, any time of day. I'll take his present, too, and some cookies. His guests will end up eating them.

         The turkey won't be ready when I go out. So someone else will carry him a meal later to have the next day. It won't be a traditional Christmas without him. Traditions change, even when they've gone on for almost half a century. We emptied out the attic, mostly Christmas decor, in order to get new duct work put in. So it's all still down. My dad is doing the decorating. At 90, he's doing most of it, which he left to the rest of us until he retired just a few years ago. He's trying to put every thing up. I keep telling him, we don't use every thing every year, not enough room, we rotate displays. He keeps breaking ornaments, arthritic fingers, not knowing how things work. The younger brother and I just shrug our shoulders and are glad he's excited about something. We need to give away some things any way; we just didn't plan to discard the antique glass ornaments.

         Dad gave up driving. I have to take him Christmas shopping a few times a week. He forgets what he already bought and duplicates some effort. His hearing is terrible, so I hate yelling at him in stores that he already bought so and so something, or the girls are too old for preschool toys. It makes me sound abusive or like a Scrooge. Some folks may get less from him, while others get more. I'm trying to keep on track, but I can't overrule him on too much. He has some dignity. And it's hard for me to shop on my own. I feel guilty going out and making him stay home, but I have to do so occasionally. There's the walking issue, the fatigue issue, and his not feeling well issue. And he feels obligated to pay for anything I pick up, which I don't want. A present from me should be paid for by me. I do order on-line.

         So I'm learning not to sweat the small things. If it doesn't go according to plans, oh well.