Can We Talk 2

Family Christmas Tradition

         When my parents were children, they were very poor. My mother was worse off because her father had a disease and was out of work a lot. Dad's family had a garden, a cow and some chickens. They didn't go hungry, but Mom and her brothers did. My father's dad was tight with money and not expressive of feelings. One year for Christmas, he got a cap gun. He was embarrassed and hid it from the neighbor kids. Mom got a metal piggy bank from the bank one year. Another year, she got a broken toy from the Salvation Army.

         As young parents on a single income, they did everything possible to give my brothers and me a big, fun Christmas. We cooked with her. We decorated together. We got lots of presents, which they always celebrated with oohs and ahhs. We never knew until we went back to school in January that Santa brought other kids more things than he did to us. We had had fun; that's what counted. As adults we began to feel the stress of Mom trying to make Christmas perfect. We all wanted to please Mom with the best gifts, and helping her out since she didn't drive.

         In the past few years, I have realized that my parents childhood as well as our own affected all of us greatly. We never discussed it through the years, but each of us was scarred, you might say, by poverty, in varying ways. It affected our self-esteem, our desire to please others, particularly children. My late brother was generous to a fault. It's affected our self-esteem. The upside of it is that we love Christmas. We go out of our way to be together, to share the feast, and to please one another. Charity is important to us. We not only give gifts, but we strive to make memories with the little ones.

         The holidays always arouse a lot of memories. The beautiful Thanksgiving feasts with uncles and aunts no longer with us, the oyster stew on Christmas morning with extended family or work buddies of my dad's, the treks into the woods for a real tree with Dad's cousin. We remember the things we did, the visitors, the smiles on my mother's face, and all that laughter. My parents' hard work and sacrifice gave us this legacy of warm feelings and memories we still treasure. Each ornament, each figurine or garland tells us some story.

         This year we will gather with one brother in Heaven with Mom, no uncles or aunts, or in-laws. One brother may or may not be there, due to cancer treatments and how he may feel tomorrow. We'll have seven children under 10, one not even one year yet. Between Santa, friends, and family, the kids will have so many gifts, they'll be bored and won't remember half of them by Jan. 2. We'll have more food than they have room to taste. But we will be together, and we will say grace together. The adults will treasure the day, knowing we may not all make it back next year. We have to make this one special. Unlike my grandfather, we are strong enough to say 'I love you' We know why we celebrate this day, and we will do so as a family.