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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/950994-Crimes--the-Mentally-Ill---MHWA-Task
Rated: 13+ · Book · Biographical · #2131773
Charity's views on writing, ramblings, and everything else that she decides to share.
#950994 added February 2, 2019 at 2:47pm
Restrictions: None
Crimes & the Mentally Ill - MHWA Task
How do you feel about crimes committed by the mentally ill? Do you blame them personally or feel sorry for them?


When I was a younger woman, before I became a mother, the world was very black and white. Because I couldn't imagine committing a crime myself, I had little sympathy for criminals. But then I began experiencing chronic homelessness and the despair that goes with it. I began to be exposed to circumstances that would test my view and my morals in ways I never imagined. I'm proud to say I held to those values but there were times when it was pretty difficult. Stealing, in some ways, can be easier when you have literally nothing to lose other than your freedom. And if you're hungry enough, it's easy to do just about anything and justify it.

There were times when drugs sounded like a possible solution. I could sell them and feed myself. I could use them and feel better about life for a while. I resisted, largely due to a large fear of losing control as well as needles, disease, and the potential for death. Without those as motivators, would I have been more easily swayed? I don't know.

I considered exotic dancing and escort services. "It's just a date," I told myself. But somehow, I knew instinctively it would take a piece of my soul away and I wasn't willing to sacrifice that.

Somehow, despite most of my life being spent abused, molested, and neglected, I'd come through it with some kind of code and honor that I lived by. I refused to ever victimize others the way I had been. I learned to open my eyes and ears wide to the world around me. I refused to stop learning everything I could. I was determined to be anything and everything my parents were not.

My father was a criminal and a drunk. Most likely he still is although I haven't talked to him in nearly 20 years. Do I have sympathy for the heinous things he did to me? Not in the slightest. Is he mentally ill? Possibly but he's never sought any help for his issues. He chooses to live his life that way. And I refuse to forgive those who choose their own sad paths. I have fought my whole life against my circumstances. And I fight still. I always will.

But what about others? There are others in the world who have sought help and been failed by the system. James Holmes is just one such example. He's the Aurora Colorado shooter who also just so happens to suffer to schizoaffective disorder. Until a few years ago, I never truly understood how awful that mental illness truly is. https://www.cnn.com/2013/07/19/us/colorado-theater-shooting-fast-facts/index.htm...

In 2013, during his trial, a psychiatrist stated, "Mr. Holmes suffers from a severe mental illness and was in the throes of a psychotic episode when he committed the acts that resulted in the tragic loss of life and injuries sustained by movie goers on July 20, 2012." I have seen my daughter in just such an episode. She doesn't even know who she is, let alone what she's doing. The world around her is a terrifying place and she's capable of lashing out at it in any number of ways, including violently.

Severe mental illness is unpredictable at best. Because every person is unique, their symptoms are unique as well. And our country fails in every possible way at helping those with mental illness being productive and healthy to the best of their ability. Too often they are written off as lost causes due to various factors - the mental illness itself, life choices, victimization, homeless, or simply how they look can be a factor. In the media, James Holmes was portrayed as crazy due to his dyed orange hair and wide eyes which are evidence of mental illness.

Years ago, I vilified him. Then I learned about him. And I learned about his mental illness. Through my daughter's own journey, I began to understand the plight facing him and his family. The battle is long and awful and heartbreaking (see "Loving Libby for my firsthand account) and I have no doubt his parents did all they knew to do. The fact that he sought treatment and that treatment failed shows this was completely preventable. James Holmes was completely out of his mind and without proper treatment, it's unlikely he'll ever find his way back to reality.

I blame the system that fails them, and those of us who turn a blind eye because it's easier. I blame us all for allowing it to continue. We need to do more to protect the mentally ill who are vulnerable among us and prevent tragedies like the Aurora shooting and others like it. We must do better. Because one day, I could be like James' mother, watching my child undergo a trial full of people without a clue and then losing that child to a criminal justice system where she doesn't belong.

New Sig for Rising Stars

Charity Marie
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/950994-Crimes--the-Mentally-Ill---MHWA-Task