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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| I've bored people with my basketball stories in blog in the past. Let's do it again! I haven't been sharing much about my basketball life. I should have an entire blog devoted to my current exploits. One little game a few guys at the gym enjoy, crow about, involves their 3-point shooting ability. I'm no slouch. In fact, because I'm much older than these guys about the age of my oldest (21), I should be at a disadvantage. The game is called 2-ball. I watched them one day about a year ago. Four shooters formed two teams. One acted as rebounder and passer to the three-point shooter attempting to go around the world. That's five made shots around the court perimeter (shoot until you make from each spot, like NBA 3-point shooting contest, but with one ball, one make). When you hit all five, the rebounder becomes shooter and vice versa and he must reverse his way back to the start. Each team starts on opposite sides and cross paths in this quest. They try to be fair and not get in way of shooter or passer, except for a few hijinks, if they need a little edge. So, the person who seems to instigate most of these contests graduated with the same class as my son. His name is Jayden. He can be described in many ways, but mostly feeds off a basketball/sports mentality with boasting, manipulating, a bit of a cheater, will talk you up, but a good baller for someone overweight (looks more like a football lineman). He's acknowledged my shooting ability in pickup games. We feed off each other at times. He let me in on their games. It always comes after we've run pick-up games (at least 2 hours). Sometimes, it's 21, a game that would take a lot of explaining, but basically a free for all. I've grown to love it, but am enjoying 2-ball more. I've teamed with different people. It usually doesn't matter. But I see strategies forming now within these games. And by playing these games, I've improved as a shooter, rebounder and especially passer. It all came together this week. I had some back problems and had seen my chiropracter a second time when a kid named Anthony needed a partner and chose me to pair up against Jayden, and a good shooter, Dom. Before I knew it, we won two games to start. Little did I know it would be a marathon. I'd been in the gym for hours when these games started. Jayden just kept saying, "Let's go again." He never walked off the court without winning, having the edge, or just not acknowledge when he was beaten. It turned into a seven game series. I could tell my legs were weak from the back. My only fortune, I put on bio-freeze and my back was as warm as laying on a heating pad. Between games, I stretched as much as I could. We won four games to three. I thought a game of 21 might break out when Jayden wanted more games. He said we were wiping slate clean. I didn't know it would be another seven games series. I had a few bouts with a few spots around the perimeter when I realized being the first to go was better than being a finisher. I'd press too much if might legs got tight. It took only six games for us to win four. And it ended. It reminded that Jayden often mentally bullied Anthony, a small, scrappy kid I've often rooted for, looked out for. He was really rooting for me when we were winning these games, finally bonded over it. We had some pick up games again after that and all I did was launch a bunch of incredibly long three-pointers with confidence. It was an amazing spectacle, to at least me. You could have collected four people in that room who couldn't add up to my age. Running with teens at the end. Just another feather in my cap. I guess I don't do the story justice. No true details of how those 2-ball games played out. I just know that my shooting stroke and ability to grab and pass a ball get better every day, especially now that I have full use of my left side, thanks to rotator cuff surgery, almost two years ago. It's been a game changer. okay, enough, 4.21.22 |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
