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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| I’m getting double vision frequently from reading and reviewing. I don’t know if issues from dehydrated eyes, or bifocal problems. I’ve tried to adjust how I review and when, but now I’m thinking my affiliated reviews aren’t good enough. I try to do an extra 20+ reviews for Angel Army, 49 and 27 last two months. I have yet to approach review tool for stuff set aside for AA. I could reread my reviews to see what the problem is, but put feelers out for enlightenment. I want to know what adjustments I should make. I might just hit the brakes. I thought I had found something needed, that I could fulfill, giving me purpose. The responses from members about their reviewed works has been outstanding. I hear from about a quarter of those. I may have messed up once or twice with my feedback in the last four months. It was Schnujo is Late to Lannister  who lit a fire under me. I refocused on a new approach to reviewing with some inspiring input from her group members.I’m legally blind. Overstated. Reviewing is the most challenging thing I attempt…commenting on personal stuff writer’s share with pride. I try to take care, understand, be gentle with as much firmness as needed. It’s helped me grow as a writer. I’m not letting emotions dictate my actions. But, my chain is taut. Purpose. Fulfillment. What it’s about? Provide a service a group requires; offer my content. It’s not pity, sympathy or empathy I need, but information, clarity. Why waste each other’s time? My input. My narrative, for what it’s worth. Is being candid valued. I’m open to input. Getting a whole different vibe from some at times. Another blog post for another day. Special thanks to those who take time to credit my affiliated efforts. I really do it for the attention…not the gift points. There’s a great debate with myself how to redistribute my wealth. Therein, yet another story, partially borne out of ADHD, a really curious condition I’ve yet to express or fully comprehend. So many stories…untold. No one’s asking. Why push agendas that no one calls attention to, or seek enlightenment about? Mostly, closed doors and cold shoulders. I have questions….  I started this out as newsfeed post. Put it here. Now…not going to bother anyone with it. One finger tapped the whole…damn…thing…think it will get these little bugs out of my system?? 1.3.24 Edit later…eyes dry. 411 words. How many characters is that?? I’ve decided I’ll look at this again after work tomorrow. If no answers by then, post in feed? I don’t know about any of this. I have further thoughts, based on any to no feedback. 435?? |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
