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 |   A place where everybody can feel easily offended - my head! |
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I'm gathering quite a collection of blogs. "Invalid Item"  is a bit-of-a-rant. I've got a big gob, and it would be a shame not to use it. "Invalid Item" is just that. It's the product of the bits of me mentioned above  filtered through my subconscious."Invalid Item" dealing with all things to do with battling sexes, especially exes.Want to know something trivial or obscure? Not really bothered about whether it's right or wrong, as long as it's believable? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** WELCOME TO THE HUMAN GOOGLE!  I may never have mastered the art of tying shoelaces, but I win every time I play Trivial Persuit. Friends place bets on how many people I can, unintentionally, upset on a night out. I am the place where boundless enthusiasm meets embarrassing arrogance. Important Information - Please Read I realise some folk do not get Satire. I love a little baffoonery and believe, rather like the jesters of old, you can say quite a lot more than kings when people think you are an idiot. If you are literal minded, best not read on. If you can tell your arse from your elbow, and recognise when an attack isn't an attack then please read:
Heck, even if you can't tell your appendages from one another, read it anyway: who am I to tell you what you can do and what to take from my writing?  The XGC rating is due to the unknown content of many minds - it may be fluffy bunnies or....not! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED Welcome to my world! Acme  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** http://twitter.com/acmetweet Skype me at acmetoo template thing-a-ma-bob: {c:green}Write{/c}: {c:green}Edit{/c}: {c:green}Kids{/c}: {c:green}Relationships{/c}: {c:green}Physical{/c}: {c:green}FFF{/c}: |
Mother has kindly sent Ruby's Itinerary to me - here is is! Ready for the big day tomorrow  CUBA – BRIEF ITINERARY Jan 10: At leisure in Marea del Portillo. This is a very remote spot at the base of the Sierra Maestra mountains on a picturesque sweeping bay. The town of Pilon is the nearest settlement a short distance out from the hotel and area is mostly rural. Granma Province was the landing place for the Grandma Boat that brought Castro and Guevara to Cuba and they spend 2 years working their way eastwards across the Province forming a base hidden from Batistas troops high up in the Sierra Maestra above Marea del Portillo. We will arrange an acclimatization run for the late afternoon. Jan 11: After breakfast we will take a bus ride out and walk on part of the Marathon & Half Marathon route so that you can familiarize yourself with the type of terrain. Jan 12: At leisure. Race Registration – it is anticipated that around 30 local runners will register. Jan 13: 8.30am Early morning start of the Marathon & Half Marathon. The race start and finish is close to the hotel with a short, flat road section before hitting the trail on a switch back climbing into the Sierra Maestra foothills. The trail through this section is wide and good under foot although the climb is fairly steep. As you descend gradually on the other side of the first escarpment the vegetation becomes thicker with the characteristic Royal Palms standing high above the sub-tropical undergrowth. After crossing a stream you will climb again through the forest and passing a tiny school house and farm after which the terrain becomes a bit more rugged and includes a short section down a river bed (which is likely to be dry at this time of year). Eventually you will emerge into the local town passing a big school before hitting the coast road which will return you back towards the hotel – if you are running the full marathon you will rejoin the trail for a second lap before reaching the finish at the hotel. The temperature at the start will be around 20C rising to 28C during the morning and possibly 30C in the afternoon. The tree cover on the trails protects you from the sun for much of the race but the road sections will leave you exposed and you will need to use a good sun block. At this time of year and in this region the air is relatively dry and there is very little chance of rain. Dinner and prize-giving. In addition to this, Mother Acme has requested the family to send encouraging text messages in the afternoon, when the heat and the effort will be the greatest. Of, course - me being me - I might need to get hubby to keep reminding me of the time difference... "Hey kiddo! You're doing great! Keep it up! You can do it!" "Erm, thanks for the support, sis... I know it's quite a big roach to find on my pillow, but I think I can get rid of it without too much fuss and bother. After all, I wouldn't want to wake the other guests at 4am. Sleepy hugs, and bugs, Ruby Tuesday"  Oh, yes. This would be a good time to include Hubby in my plans of encouragement...Then all I have to do is wait until she comes home next weekend ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I'm sending some post card to my sister, in the hope she'll get fed up of a flooded mailbox and send some back to me Still on the subject of thick workmen (honestly, they might be in historical reenactment societies at the weekend, but the stereotypes are undeniable!), here's todays latest from the hood: BA is off school with a tummy upset, so we took Jnr in the car and stunt rolled her out at the entrance. On the way home, I had to get out my camera phone and capture this little beauty: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you look closely you can see the "NO SMOKING" sign and the lumbering oaf, puffing away over the exposed, and pungent, gas main... It's one of those classic moment where I really don't need to add an other word! |
Well, day 2 and all is quiet  The family received the Mum-formation up-date. It's our way of communicating, and out of a twisted sense of humour we allow it to continue. It goes like this:One of her children goes somewhere She tells them to contact her as soon as they complete phase one of the journey Phase one: "Have you reached the Station/Airport/Harbour safely?" They must contact again immediately prior to phase two Phase two: "Are you about to Board/Embark/Check in ? Then upon arrival is phase three Phase three: "Are you there safe?" Then once through security... Phase four: "No strangers asked you to carry their teddy bear, did they? Did anyone with 'funny' shoes try looking at you?" Then upon connection (you can guess...), hotel/destination, after meals, before bed... I love my mum, but she really is the kind you just know will have a spittle loaded handkerchief to attack the grandkids with. Joking aside, I like the fact we three sisters have a combined age of 100 and still need 'coddling' - a life without coddle is a poor life indeed. Hurrah for my mum; I'm sat here taking the mickey because she's alive, and I can. I'm sat here knowing that "Your sister has passed security and is in the company of well bred accountants..." because she's alive, and she checked. Perhaps it's that extended moment of
Here's a little link I found which looks at the Cuba Marathon our Ruby's doing. It's a different company, but a similar venture: http://www.209events.com/event.php?event=19 |
Emmy's loose - and this time she's pissed...  Flippin' contractors... I have always had an aversion to 'workmen', since being sexually harassed in my own back garden, one summer. I was an 11 year-old school girl, playing out. Two dirty old builders, with stereo-typical beer bellies vying for space on top of their sagging jeans, asked me: "Show us yer tiny titties, kiddo!" And then took the piss out of me, as I ran in doors to escape their leers. I'm sat here, nursing a Pot Noodle, and a rapidly cooling coffee, as I listen to a group of workmen work outside: "F**kin' hell, he's a f**kin' w**ker!" "Ah, shut the f**k up, and pass me the f**king pipe..." Wanna know what really pissed me off? My 5 year-old, and my 10 year-old, both squeezed my hand in panic as we had to walk past them to get to school this morning. We were reaching the top of the street and saw the suited form of the gaffer instructing the lads. Ah, I sighed inwardly, believing to have successfully ran the gauntlet, now the kids can relax... "... and make sure you keep the f**king barriers up, or some c**t will complain..." F**king charming ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
So far, our intrepid explorer has stayed overnight in a Gatwick Airport Pod. She set off at 8am this morning (UK time), as soon as she hits an internet cafe, I'll fill you in on more details  Hurrah!http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2007/aug/12/escape.hotels |
I've made some rude, crass, juvenile and, to me any way, funny c-Notes So, just a heads up to visit them now if you like, before someone rollocks me  Oh, and all the GPs raised by them go toward helping the ENORMOUS prize fund for:
Here they are:
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| http://www.oldham-chronicle.co.uk/ and click the 'weekly news' link for last Thursday, you'll find a cracking article and photograph all about my adventurous sister, Ruby. She's amazing. I'm thinking a lot about her today, as she is traveling down to London and meeting up with a group of Charity runners to fly to Cuba Once there, she will run a marathon in the 6,000ft Sierra Maestra mountain range, before spending a few days recovering. Marathon running is nothing new to her, as when her arse-hole of an ex, cheated on her, she booted him out of her life and slipped a pair of running shoes on and never looked back. There's this Alan Sillitoe type feeling I get (Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056194/ - one of my fave film adaptations of a book), and think there are huge similarities to both protagonists. I know you shouldn't put people on pedestals, but she deserves it. The best example of 'picking yourself, brushing yourself down, and then getting on with it', that I can compare to my mother. See; it's our mum who has the cancer, and its our Ruby who is doing something real to help fight the bastard. Good Luck! To all the runners, and don't forget my Bacardi... Acme ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I thought making resolutions, no matter how well intended or full of legal loop-holes, would be silly. I based this on the principal of having never had any kind of resolve in my personality traits. It can be painfully hard to make a decision, or have any kind of considered opinion about... well, anything really! I'm more of a "do and then think" person; great for any spur-of-the-moment-strike-while-the-iron-is-hot, occasions; crap for those who champion the belief that, "You only ever regret the stuff you haven't done!" I'd love to be one of those people; the kind who have an inner police-man saying, "well, well, well, what have we got here then...?" I have an inner ADHD kid trying to shove M&M's up their nose With that in mind, I set out to construct a well thought out, and developed History Workshop, for GabriellaR45  's "WInter Festival of 15 Weeklong Workshops" and I've even done some research - get me! Next thing you know, I'll be thinking before I speak, looking before I leap, and thoughtfully purchasing all of 2008's Christmas presents in the January sales Wanna see what I've made? Do ya? HURRAH I'm aching to show off, but will be good and save it for the Workshop. In the mean time, I've tinkered with some new additions to the c-Notes, so you can take a peek at them instead (And "No," I didn't spend enough time in Photoshop, or really think them through  - one thing at a time, eh?)
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 Goodbye 2007! And hello 2008  We've shared some times and had some fun; it's time to celebrate !Goodbye to all those trilogies, Shrek, Spiderman, and Bourne Harry Potter's, puttered out, JK's finger-tips are worn  Hello! to all the New Year brings; Hope, unity and peace. Plan for the worst, expect the best, and read the small print, please Goodbye 2007! And hello 2008 To all my friends on WDC... Finding you guys has been great ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Okay, so there seems to be another person crouching down so not to get squashed by the very many others inside of me... Heck, I'm thinking of giving up the 'Acme' handle and changing it to 'Legion'... Well, once upon a time, I tinkered with the idea of writing Comedy, before that, serious Poetry (I've just been Poetry Newsletter Highlighted for a Sonnet ). Having dabbled with the devil in some Horror writing, fiddling with Fantasy, and rough-housing with Romance, I figured it was time I got entwined with Erotica.Now, this one was a little odd for me as far as genres go, because which inner voice do I listen to as my Muse? Let's look at some of the options I'm faced with:  Amanda - Fan Fiction, twisted naturally, that girl lives for daydreams with Chris Issac's nostrils, and Bruce Campbell's chain-saw... Castor - Homo-erotic, probably period setting Mark - Straight sex - manly men and winsome women Emmy - Lesbian, fetish, probably some eyewateringly profane stuff... (little old ladies are the worst)It seemed the only thing to do, was experiment and "see what happened", and what better way to do that, than to create another personality or, at the very least, another account at WDC !Daniel C. Tomas  was born... However, don't get too excited, he wasn't real so I'm killing him off when his account expires on the 15th of Jan. All the other chaps have had a crack at this Erotica genre and are now contributing to this exciting new writing style in:
I'm letting them have their fun and making no apologies for it. I wrote a shocking Murder Story once, but I like to think it doesn't make me a homicidal maniac. So, let them be crude, rude, playful and pretty - if you can't let your Muse off the leash, once in a while, when can you, eh? I'm off to throw myself into the new role of Cookery Expert and Kitchen Diva |
| ... I'm sitting on a rainbow, got the string around my finger Sorry, I have no idea where 'Chirpy Acme' has appeared from - but, I like it !Maybe it's the radio? There are certain songs in the universe that are bound to make me happy; just as there are certain songs which make me choke and cry. Happily for those reading this blog, I've been listening to 'Toothpaste Kisses' (band name forgotten  ) which has got me fiddling around with the CD player. I thought I'd pretend I was a teenage DJ again, and make a list of my... ...Top 10 Happy Acme Tunes for Today 10. Wild West Hero - E.L.O 9. Biology - Girls Aloud 8. Waterloo - ABBA 7. Mr Brightside - The Killers 6. Learning to Fly - Foo Fighters 5. Echo Beach - Martha and the Muffins 4. Do You Remember The First Time - Pulp 3. Sister Rose - Ian Brown 2. I Still Remember - Bloc Party 1. No More Heroes - The Stranglers The good thing about today's list is that it can be totally different tomorrow! But this is my Happy List for today Make your own - I would LOVE to know your top three. Here are the rules: DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! all of your choices must make you grin Preferably they should make you want to either: flash your boobs stand at the bar in a pub and cry "Drinks on me!" or, at the very least make you feel like you need a wee due to the excitement If you're having a sad song day, post your dark and dreary top three - on the grounds of my Top 10 being so uplifting, I doubt you could rain on my parade (yes; even with Elvis Costello's version of 'Ship Building!)I'm off to find my Soft Rock CD... you know? the one with REO Speedwagon on |
| Right-oh! It's now the evening on Christmas Day... It is now officially over ! I loved it (note past tense?), but I don't have the largest of attention spans. Look at Acme at Halowe'en: Whistles, bells, ghost, spooks and Apple Bobbing... November 1st? Nothing spooky left. It's the same with many events, and Christmas is no exception: Church, candles, oranges, kids, trees, glitter, pressies, huge meal... bored now  So, the tinsel is off the blog, the mince pies and figgy pudding have gone out with the egg-nog and I'm back to potato chips and Bacardi like a good Diva should. Well, for now...  I've decided to plough all my intensity into the Murder Mystery which starts next week.
I just feel bad for those who wanted to take part and I turned away because the places went on a 'first come - first served' basis. I'm really ticked off... heck, I'm really pissed off, here's why: after stating anyone wishing to take part would have to be assertive and take their turn in quick succession, so as not to ruin it for the other contestants. Guess what? I'm still waiting for 'short' bios for their characters, while some good friends of mine watch their lack of interest from the side-lines... Bodes well for a fecking farce  Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna send them all an email asking if they are sure they have enough time and inclination to commit to this... yeah! and I'm gonna use the stroppy sig line too! FYI, if you ever receive anything as vicious as the following, you know a British Lion needs a thorn removing: Looking forward to your speedy reply, Acme Oh, boy! I know! Contentious stuff, eh? No-one messes with this bitch You should see me when I go from stroppy to sarkastic, and sugar? You don't wanna even think about vexed** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I spent Christmas eve in bed... well, shared time between bed and bathroom actually Happily I am now just smelly, greasy and in need of a shower ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The good think about being a little tender is the fact I don't mind my Nominated Driver status for the Family Hootanany. The Acme Clan are gathering with the sisters; husbands being 'brought in' as decorative accessories (we can trace our maternal family line to 1736ish - don't get me wrong, we love our men but, to paraphrase Wilde, or Austen, or some other long dead writer: just enough, not too much) In fact, all my hubby has wanted for Christmas for many years, is for the kids and I to take his family name... erm, wouldn't it be easier for him to bow to the inevitable and take my name instead? I'm his 3rd wife, so with that kind of record, I'm not sure it would be fair to play with the vicars baptismal name - St Peter might not let me in: "Hello! This heaven then? Looks like my kind of party!" "Whoa, now. If you name's not on the list you can't come in." "Oh, don't worry, St Peter. I'm still Acme - just a little twisted at the end." "Ah," he says, readying a leaver as I realise I'm stood over a beautifully, pearl in-laid, trap door, "we've always sent the 'twisted' ones down stairs." It's weird though, I get folks being rudely personal and asking who the girls real father is... erm, still hubby! They just can't seem to understand why (if someone was willing to marry me) I shouldn't give up the one thing in my life I got given when I arrived on the planet, looked after for my entire life, and, hopefully, will bow out with still intact. After all, equality is key so he got to choose the kids first names and I chose their surnames Right-oh! Kids are playing with pressies, I'm counting my blessings, hubby is wondering why I thought the 'Bourne DVD Box Set' would be such a considerate gift *sniggers and drools slightly* - Christmas Blog completed... for now May all your hopes and wishes of the season come true Hugs, Acme |
| This is one of those handy reminders that popped up to tell me it had been 5 Days 8 Hours 8 Minutes since I last up-dated my blog In my defense, I have been writing ! Right-oh. 5 days ago was...Sunday...soooo, let's see what you've missed: A lot of church stuff (well,it is the season!) Sunday was church, where the need for Christmas pressies for Sunday school was popped into my lap. Monday I shopped for, bought, and wrapped, said pressies (should be re-embursed by 2008). Tuesday Christingle ceremony at chruch (took piccies for blog and will add later!) The smell of oranges hung in the air all night, over the children's voices; lovely . Wednesday total mental block...No; hang on...I indulged in a WDC review fest, and re-animated the Historical Society and it's associated contest. Thursday Back to church! Friends confirmation ceremony (in the middle of Advent; I know !). Friday I shall be off on the School Mum's Christmas Curry. The event was started years ago, as the stay-at-home-mums were a bit miffed not to get an 'office party' so they staged their own (and everyone likes a curry )Right! That should stop the reminders nagging at me all day |
| I got in a little trouble at the school nativity. "Hey, what a great job the kids have done; making those 'sheep hats' - brilliant!" "Those are not representations of sheep," one of the mums practically spat at me; encouraging a whole gaggle of them to turn in their half-sized plastic seats. "Those are Santa faces." Judge for yourself, with Baby Acme's choir shot: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Anyhoo; the nativity was great All the right characters and costumes, comedy kid moments a plenty ("No room - GO AWWWWWAAAAAYYYY!!!"), someone wee'ed and a couple of them cried. Bogies were picked, rolled and flicked, and one of the angels fell over One more week of school and then none until next year - whoo-hoo! The trip to manchester came next with our family outing to panto. We get a group booking because there are so many of us. As per usual the smell of cooking pork products mixed with mulled-wine spices and sourkraut of the German Market outside the City Hall - I was a bit upset this year as the usual 'Giant Inflatable Santa' was retired from his King Kong platform on the clock tower  I needn't have worried as the council have outdone themselves and created a 'Fairy Light Santa' to replace him ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The good thing about my sister booking the tickets on the 27th of December of last year was the availability of front row seats: this meant we got soaked by water-pistols, saw the fear in the actors eyes, had ample leg room (and head room for us pint-sized hobbitses ), and got hit by the shattered toffee shards from the glass slipper - ACE !Here are Acme Jnr and Cousin Acmella: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Consider the husband of an Acme rep: Cool, calm, collected. Supportive, loyal, chivalrous. Unswerving in admiration for my talents as a wife, mother, cook, writer. My best friend. Someone who will have faith in every endeavor I undertake, and back me up, right or wrong - erm, no Keep in mind that he met me when I was the guitarist in a rock band, and a did the odd poetry recital and am/dram play. Basically, I know what a live audience is like. I've been looking at furthering my comedy in different forms and styles - I want to see if I'm hiding a light under any particular bushel; after all, perhaps comedic historical monologues about the King of France are just the tip of the iceberg. Coming from Manchester, which boasts several live comedy venues, I thought it might be an idea to turn up at a few of the stand-up, open mic nights, check out the lay of the land and, if it feels like the audience are drunk enough and belly-cheerful, take over and hit them with a 5 min set to see how it goes down... no worries! If they look a nasty lot, I'll leave it, and if they turn into a nasty lot - well, what's the worst that can happen ?"Well, I'm not going!" he huffed. "You can count me out of that one, missus. I'm not going to end up in the clinky 'cause I have to do a bit of 'crowd control'" "What do you mean, 'crowd control'?" "Be honest, Mand. You might be funny on paper, but you just don't look the part. Folks are ruthless at these comedy clubs, and if you go out on that stage they'll skin you alive. As soon as you fall on your arse, I'll run out of people to hit - it's just not worth it." He turned back to his art work and left me struck dumb. There's a look for stand-up comedy? I never knew. Never mind all that; what about the blind assumption that I, and I quote, would "fall on my arse". "I AM funny!" I retaliated. "Go on, then? Tell me a joke." "That's not fair; you know I don't know any..." "And your point is...?" Feck! He's got me there... "Well," I compose myself, "my humour is more surreal and train-of-thoughty than punch-line delivery." he sighs, he actually sighs... that has to be worse than mocking me... "You try explaining that to a drunken, knuckle-head who's trying to impress his mates, whilst he makes the chick on stage cry."  Well, I'm a beggar for doing things I oughten't, so I've asked the Bacardi Divas to come with me in the new year - they can watch me fall on my arse instead! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Firstly, a 'buttie' is a Northern expression for a 'sandwich' - I say this so plafleur isn't in any way embarrassed ! The Bishop I've just got back from giggling with a bishop; too much fun for this hack, I tell you I LOVE Bishop Nigel for many reasons, here's a few: He's a nice guy He really does have a radiant personality which no-one can fail to be effected by Everyone feels at ease with him Young and old flock to him like a favourite relative He works for God (I like to network) He confirmed me in my faith many years ago He has a trendy, flashy-neon-blue, baton from the Commonwealth Games Yes; that is a valid reason to like someone - didn't you like the kid with the best packed lunch? erm, just me then..."But Acme, some of your 'yous' are a little druidical!" someone cries. "Yeah, but I still think Jesus is rockin'" I answer, unperturbed, "besides, the Prince of Wales is a Druid and he's Defender of my Faith, as well as an Anglican." "Yeah, well... this is getting all theological and my head hurts..." someone gives-up. "Good-oh! Back to the wonderful Bishy Nige, then!" I enthuse. I wanna tell you about his baton, the buttie and the blog ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The Baton Bishop Nigel is on a pilgrimage to visit every church in the Diocese of Manchester. When he was commissioned for the pilgrimage at the Cathedral, he was handed the special baton made for the opening of the Commonwealth Games in Manchester 2000, which has a distinctive light that pulses in time with the runner's heartbeat. His pilgrimage is to 'pass on the baton of the Gospel to the next generation' and he let it rest at our church for a while. Now, every time I'm going to hear 'Chariots of Fire', I'll think of Roger Bannister and Bishop Nigel The Butties There was a formal reception for the local community leaders to meet the Bishop, and I had an official invitation to this select event and, as I was very honoured by this, I told myself not to muck it up... What you can't tell the above photo is: the HUGE coldsore I have, the runny nose, and that I'm currently channeling the voice of Barry White. Now, I'm not making excuses, but because I was miserably ill, I didn't go to church this Sunday, and that is when they announced a time change to the reception... no-one told me So, I waltz into the Church Hall with steamed up glasses and a big grin to be met by a party in full swing. I couldn't even get a coffee and a ginger biscuit without a 'look', so the heaving table of perfectly made sandwiches was a real no-no! Cue tummy rumbles and an hour and a half service ahead  I carefully made my way, mingling through the guests, until I was only two more "how are you?"s away from the cucumber triangles, and then:"Bishop Nigel, let me introduce you to one of our youth workers and Sunday School helpers..." The fantastic Father David will pay a price for that lost sandwich moment I'm ten-pin bowling with him tomorrow night !The Blog Anyhoo, I had a wonderful night and came in to happy children staying up late and running riot around poor hubby. "I had a great night," I smiled. "Blog it," Hubby yawned and channel surfed for footie. erm, so I did !http://www.mindwave.co.uk/manchestercathedral/home.html |
| I have no idea how my friends completed NaNo - I decided (without telling anyone, so it wasn't really real...) I would Blog daily throughout December. Well, let's face it, a catch-up entry does not excuse a week of inactivity Rather than flog that dead horse, I have now decided to go easy on myself and hand over the reins to the other fellas; if you're not used to the "me's" this could be rather interesting for you !** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Like most people, there are certain stories which illuminate our path through life. In some cases they echo the journey from boyhood to manhood, like Jason and his Argonauts. In others they show us the kind of men we would like to emulate, like the crafty Odysseus and the beautifully evil Iago (a personal hero, much like Ming). Most of all, they offer us adventures, and this is a gift I sometimes find lacking in modern story-telling. However, I have realised our literary tastes can be developed by something as simple as the order with which we are exposed to ideas. Much like a common argument among friends: "Which do you prefer - the book, or the film?", the answer usually reflects on which order you've been exposed to them. I tried to read an 'Alien' book once - nope; I needed Harry Dean Stanton calling Jonesy in the Cargo Hold. Same for 'To Kill a Mocking Bird' - only Gregory Peck would do. On the other hand Douglas Adams just never translated beyond the page for me, and Imperial Rome has paled in everything I've ever seen compared with Robert Graves and Alan Massey's vision of it. Perhaps this 'order of exposure' theory has some weight in my preference for literary action adventure heroes, and their personality traits. When I look at Harry Potter and Frodo Baggins I almost resent their reluctant hero mind-set, and it can sometimes become hazy as to who the real bad guys are. John McClean is a lot easier to get stirred up with for the Whooping-Cheering-Chest-Banging-Action-Hero he is, and everybody hates Hans; there's none of this "ah, Harry - but you must pity Voldemort..." type stuff, or plucky, smiling hobbitses, battling inner turmoil. I first read Walter Scotts 'Ivanhoe', after my exposure to adventure by the likes of Treasure Island, The Iliad, The Odyssey, and The Hardy Boys. Oh, my world turned up-side-down and I knew, knew that a hero should be sure-footed, honourable, justified and have blonde hair, blue-eyes and rippling, well oiled, bisceps. It was more than that, though. I decided to re-read it recently, but was rather wary of doing so having found less enjoyment than I expected in Lord of the Rings. I needn't of worried. I stayed up later than I should, took it around the house with me, made excuses to chatting neighbours of tasks left un-done just to get back quicker to it. I lived on Pot Noodles for the two days it took me to read (family got in the way at times )"Oh, Ivanhoe!" a friend exclaimed, picking it up and smiling at the cover, "I just loved the film." "What film?" I nearly suffered whip-lash, turning too fast. "Oh, it's an oldie, but it's better than the book..." ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Right-oh! 4 Calling Birds Bacardi Divas met on Sunday for a summit meeting; one of the Hubbies has been an dolt - we did the Secret Diva Spell of Bettering (drank Bacardi with some potent garlic dips; a sure revenge on all our partners as they slept next to us )5 Golden Rings Went to see Santa in his Grotto (the garden center) and found this years must have - the upside down tree... jealous? me? Just a bit ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The family went too! From 92-year-old Nana Lena, to 4-year-old Charlie-boy ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** My favourite part was when Santa read the story and handed out pressies - I asked BA what she thought of Santa, and she said he had smelly arm-pits... so, there's a memory for her to cling to... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 6 Geese a-laying Saturday was spent doing the normal stuff - housework, super-mum stuff, and playing board-games with the neighbours. It was very relaxing and I had my first ever chat-room staff meeting with the Talent Pond , where we discussed "fat emoticons", "pigs", "Carnival", and "important matters of the meeting" - it was ace 7 swans a-swimming Friday took me to the Job Centre, where I had to justify my shocking lack of gaining employment. We discussed my success of being well qualified, my success of becoming a short-listed applicant on many occasions, and my terrifying performance in interviews... I just can't help myself, though. I find it incredibly hard to hold my tongue in the face of questions like:"Do you consider yourself to be intelligent?" - erm? has anyone said 'no'? "Why do you want to work for us?" - erm? Money? "How would you prioritise your family if appointed?" - erm ? First? "What are your best attributes?" - EASY! The 'Puppies of Power' "Who are your role models?" - Ming the Merciless "Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?" - Terra-forming Mars. Ah, well - maybe I should start to lie and not be quite myself... 8 Maids a-milking On Wednesday, I took time out to go visit a good friend of mine; one who often bemoans the lack of an understanding partner (the partner who has been my best-friend for a decade ) - apparently my mate is always moaning about the state of the house... erm, you judge for yourself - I'm saying nothing ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 9 Pipers piping I can't remember anything else non-WDC related. I've done quite a lot of work on the Murder Mystery for the Talent Pond, and some more stuff for the WRITING.COMedy Workshop. Both have a January launch so I can chill a little on the run up to Christmas I get a little confused with the remaining days, so I reckon I'll quit whilst I'm ahead ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Right-oh. Kaya 's last blog comment brought back a memory of mine, which I'm going to share with you... not about me; Acme Jnr, the 10-year-old. I've mentioned before that she's a little like Hermione Granger. She could read at two, write at 3, play basic keyboard and guitar riffs at 4 etc, etc. She also had an 'imaginary friend'; well, that's what we told ourselves. One day, Jnr was crawling around under the dinning table I and her godmother were sat at. "Who are you playing with,Jnr?" Fairy Nat-Nat asked. "Jahlea" "Who's Jay-lear?" "Jahlea," Jnr corrected, "She my bestest friend in all the world." "Aww, that's nice, dear" Nat-Nat smiled, "Does she want a drink?" "Nope; she's dead." Well, that got our attention! Between us, Fairy Nat-Nat and I gently asked her questions, getting more and more goosebumps as she answered. "How did she die?" "She got skinnier and skinner, pale and coughed herself dead." "Where did she die?" "Oh, the same place my other mother died." "Your other mother?" I asked. "Oh, yeah - I really loved her, but she died when I was little." "So, where did Jahlea and your other mother die, Jnr?" asked Nat-Nat "In America." "What, the bloomin' heck, were you doing in America?" (subtle mother) "Working the tables." "What?" "Me and Jahlea would work the tables, but when she brought a boyfriend back, I'd have to go to sleep under the cot, and not make a sound, or come out." "erm, Okay..." The weird conversation was ended by Jnr going to play in a different room. Fairy Nat-Nat and I just stared at each other, both feeling pretty spooked out... Jnr was 2 and a half when she came out with this conversation. She still has a vague recollection of knowing someone called Jahlea, but can't think from where. Both her god-mother and I remember this as clear as day, although we have no idea what her references were to, and if it is just an example of a young impressionable mind retaining information from exposure to 'grown-up' media. Now the Fairy has a baby of her own, I wonder if he'll come out with anything quite as strange as he grows up... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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