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 |  My Blog....Pearls of wisdom and/or foolish mutterings.....You be the judge.... |
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A little of this, a dash of that......epic mood swings.......A LOT of foolish mutterings and occasionally a few words of wisdom. It's a crapshoot. You never know what you'll find in here... |
| Lately I have felt like a sputtering car that goes in fits and starts and idles so roughly that it ceases to run whenever it comes to a stop for too long. That's me. As long as I keep moving, I may be sputtering and uneven, but I keep going. But when I see a stop sign coming up and I have to slow down and eventually come to a complete stop, even momentarily, often my engine stalls out. And getting it jump-started is not an easy task. Even blogging, which has been my favorite activity for the last year, has become difficult for me. I've written any number of blog entries that I never post. For one thing, they seem to ramble all over the place. And most importantly, when I re-read them, they come across as having been written by a whiny, pitiful brat. So, my blog posts have been sporadic, at best. This month marks the anniversaries of the deaths of both my mom and my step-dad, so a little bit (okay, fine - a LOT) of melancholy is to be expected. And the death just last week of my wonderful step-mom, Kathy, has naturally added to the melancholy. I don't like feeling like this. I much prefer my shoot-from-the-hip, happy-go-lucky self. I just don't know where she has gone to. Into hiding, I suppose. She's not fond of the dirge playing inside my head either. It's no picnic inside my head lately. I did enjoy the Super Bowl on Sunday though. I wasn't even planning to watch it. As I've said before, I much prefer baseball over football. But Hubby got home from the ranch on Sunday and he turned on the Super Bowl. I was sitting in a recliner in the living room and frankly, I was just too lazy to haul myself out of that chair and go anywhere else, so I sat there and watched. And boy, oh boy, was I glad I did. I really got into it. I cheered, I jumped up and down, I screamed like a banshee. That was one of the very best football games I've ever watched. Just for the record, I used to be a bigtime football fan. Back during the days of Terry Bradshaw, Lynn Swann and John Stallworth, I was a huge Steelers fan. Those guys were magic to watch. Then when we moved to Houston, I became a fan of Warren Moon and the Houston Oilers. When owner Bud Adams (who still holds the title of 'Most Despised" in Houston, in case you were wondering) decimated the team and then, in the ultimate act of betrayal to loyal Oilers fans, gathered up his toys and moved them to Tennessee, I swore off football. After this year's super-exciting Super Bowl game, I may have to take a second look at football next season. Who can know these things? Of course, that means I will have to survive that White Water Rafting trip first. Sheesh. |
| After the much ballyhooed announcement a few days ago of the AD36 fat virus, I've been faithfully monitoring the news for any further developments. And by faithfully monitoring, I mean occasionally thinking about it when I happen to catch a bit of news between Nip/Tuck and Leno. I'm here to report to you today... NOTHING. Not another word have I heard uttered about the AD 36 fat virus. That's right, not one syllable. Yeah, I knew it had to be too good to be true. Those darn scientists - always getting our hopes up and then callously dashing them against the rocks. Here's the problem. In a fit of what can only be described as Auction Insanity, Hubby and I (and by Hubby and I, I mean me) bid on and *gasp* WON... wait for it, because this is worth it... a FIVE DAY White Water Rafting Excursion for two. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. HA. H. A. I won't even tell you what we paid for it, but it was not cheap. Well, it was inexpensive in the grand scheme of things. We got it for a lot less than we would have if we had, say, gone to a travel agent and booked it. Which of course, we would never have done, because we have better sense than that. Well, one of us does, anyway. And it's not me, apparently. I think I was so caught up in the auction fever that I forgot how old I am when I was bidding. And I obviously failed to take note of the shocked look on the faces of our friends at the table. Or perhaps I mistook their look of shock for looks of Yeah, Go for it! I don't really know what happened, but when all was said and done, I won that package. I'm surprised Hubby didn't knock me out of my chair or something to stop the insanity. I think he was in a state of shock. The first thing he said to me after the auctioneer said, SOLD! was, "You know we're going to have to lose a crap-load of weight, right?" Even that didn't dampen my enthusiasm at that moment. I replied, "Yeah, so what? We can do that." Then I took the manila envelope the prize package was in home with me, put it on my dresser and promptly forgot all about it. That was four months ago, maybe five. I don't even know where the envelope is now. I even looked for it this morning and can't find it anywhere. Of course, it's probably one of those things I put away so it wouldn't get misplaced, never to be seen again. Which I wouldn't mind too bad, except that I know Hubby won't forget. Not forever, anyway. The thought crossed my mind that I could just neglect to ever mention it again, hoping Hubby would follow suit. But that won't work, because it involves money. Sooner or later, this is what will happen. I will be sleeping peacefully in the early morning hours of some day in the future and Hubby will bolt out of bed with his mind in hyper-vigilant, people-to-see, places-to-go mode. He will open his mouth and these words will tumble out in rapid-fire, drill sergeant fashion, "You know that white water rafting trip we bought is next week, right? Where's the package? Have you bought all the stuff we need? Have you confirmed with them? Have you lost all the weight we both needed to lose? Have you made sure we won't die from exertion? Are our wills up-to-date?" Then I will pick a fight with him for waking me in such a rude manner (hoping all along to divert his attention from said white-water-rafting trip.) My tactic will only work as far as pissing him off so that he doesn't speak to me for the next week while I rush around and get stuff ready for the stupid trip that I bought when I must surely have been smoking crack. Then we will haul both of our hefty rear-ends off to wherever the heck this place is (No, I don't remember where it is - I told you, I can't find the package to look it up.) For the next five days, I will barely speak to Hubby, even though he will have thawed from his chilly treatment of me by then and will attempt friendly conversation on several occasions. But I will be too upset to speak kindly to him because I will be in fear for my life, knowing that if I fall in the water (which I surely will do because I have failed to build any stamina since I stupidly bought this package) I will sink straight to the bottom like a lead weight. Wait! Doesn't fat float? Maybe I have some hope after all. No matter, though. Because even if I survive the first day, Hubby will spend the next four days tagging me with killer stares and asking me, in his most sarcastic voice, what I was thinking when I bought this trip. You know, he has a point. What was I thinking? And where is that envelope? For all I know, the trip really is next week. Thanks a lot, Dan. After your comment, now this is all I can think about. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** KATHLEEN PHIFER My step-mom passed away this morning at about 12:45. She and my dad were married for 45+ years. I'm not sure of the exact number of years because I didn't get to spend any time with them as I was growing up. I was a baby when my mom and dad divorced and I didn't meet my dad until I was thirty. That's when I met Kathy, too. And I loved her instantly. She was FUN. There was never a dull moment when she was around. As quiet and reserved as my dad is, Kathy was that outgoing and exuberant. I always called her Kathy, but the longer I knew her, the more she was a mom to me. Funny thing, this morning when my dad called at about 1:30 to tell me she was gone, when I hung up the phone, I told my husband, "That was Dad. Mom's gone." She was an incredible woman and I will miss her strength, her vitality, her capricious nature and most of all, her joie de vivre. She had a car accident years ago, long before I knew her, that caused her to lose one of her legs just below the knee. She never let it slow her down, but almost two years ago, she fell and broke her hip. She never was able to walk again after that and absolutely hated being confined to a wheelchair. My husband told me this morning not to be sad because he just knew Kathy was up in heaven "hopscotching around and trying on shoes." I think he's right. Trying on shoes... I like that. She's probably hopscotching in red high heels.  |
| Well, Glory Hallelujah! Finally science is making itself useful to the Average Joe or Josephine. It seems that a Fat Virus has been discovered. I knew it! I knew there had to be a reason that I no longer have the svelte body of my youth. I knew there had to be an explanation for why I avoid mirrors at all costs and when I do accidentally catch a glimpse of my reflection, I wonder, who is that woman in the fat suit and why does she look eerily familiar? OMG! IT'S ME! Now, I know. Thank you, Mr. Scientist for serving up such a palatable excuse...err... uhh... reason for this fat attack. Yes! That's exactly what it is. My body has been attacked by the fat virus. It even has a name. The AD36 Fat Virus - isn't that just darling? I think Mr. Scientist could have come up with something a little more original, like, say COW36 or FT-ASS36 or, my own personal favorite, NOTMYFAULT36. But, hey, who am I to quibble over a name? What's in a name anyway? The important thing here, people, is that someone has given us a viable reason for being fat, other than those wretched outdated cause-and-effect rationales like gorging on carb-laden foods, sitting on my ass with my laptop in my... well, lap (hence the name!) for hours at a time and avoiding exercise like the plague. Seriously, you all know how fragile my toes are. They break easily, so it's just not feasible for me to engage in an exercise routine. Broken toes are not pretty. I understand that science (which has now become my BFF) is hard at work on a vaccine for the Fat Virus. Hot-diggity-dog! Is this a great country, or what? I'm feeling a little faint. Must be that virus kicking in. I guess I have no choice but to go forage in the kitchen for some Ding-Dongs, Butterfingers and Root Beer. I have to keep my strength up while I wait patiently for that vaccine. Spread the word, people. This is big news! |
| I just spoke with Debi. She talked with the nurse at the hospital who told her that they have given Eric something to control his vomiting. He is resting some now. They want to scope him to try to figure out what is going on, but can't do it until they control the vomiting. His blood pressure is very low also right now. Debi sounded a lot calmer when I spoke with her this time. If you would like to call Debi, email me for her phone number. I did pass along the well wishes from those of you who had already responded. She is very appreciative. |
| I just spoke with Debi Wharton. Eric was taken to the hospital this morning by ambulance. He is very sick, they don't know what's wrong, he is in intensive care in critical condition. Debi is on her way driving from Mississippi. She is a wreck, so please pray for her safety, as well. Please pray for Eric. Debi's son lives in Knoxville, s she is driving there and her son will drive her the rest of the way. She is 2 and one-half hours away from there right now. I will update you as I learn more. |
| Here's a quick update on my friend who was shot the other day. He put his hand up to protect his head after he was shot the first several times and fell on the ground. One of the shooters tried to shoot him in the head as he moved his hand up to cover his head. He played dead after that so they would hopefully believe he was dead and it apparently worked. They ran off after that. He is doing great - remarkably well. Police still haven't apprehended the shooters. Please keep praying for the family's safety and for the apprehension of the perpetrators. Our pastor didn't talk about this directly this morning. I'm sure it's because of the uncertainty of the situation at present. It hasn't been in the news either. I worried a little about what I have been writing in my blog, but then I figured the chances of any one of the people involved in shooting my friend reading my blog - or just plain reading - was pretty slim. Our pastor is a pretty funny guy and this morning he said something that I just have to pass along because I have been laughing about it all day long. He was doing an illustrated sermon about the three parts of the soul and how they interact -the mind, the emotions and the will. He said it starts with your mind having a thought about a perceived slight, for instance, 'how dare they treat me that way.' Then the emotions get involved and get all fired up and fnally the will is moved to action and by that time, we have moved completely away from acting in a Christ-like manner to a soulish reaction. He emphasized his point with the following paraphrased scripture: "You know, when you lust after bacon and eggs, you've already committed breakfast in your heart." Which, of course, had the effect of pushing many of us to go out and commit breakfast afer service, especially since it was first service and ended at 10:30. I told him after the service, "Pastor, that breakfast thing - that was great." He said, "Yeah, that's an old classic. But hey, none of this is intellectual property, so feel free to use it." So I feel like I'm on solid ground here. |
| Thanks to everyone for their great comments on Maverik and his Kolache Kaper! What he got in to in the trash bag was a not-quite-empty can of white latex paint. Eli washed it off of him as much as he could, but he still has some that will just have to wear off. Here's a picture after his first scrubbing. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| The ever-curious Chocolate Wonder Lab, Maverik, was roaming around my son's house the other day - click-click-clicking on the tile as he ambled through the living room, past the kitchen, heading to the back door. **Sniff, Sniff** Wait a darn minute, here, he thought as he passed a trash bag stuffed full of every manner of detritus accumulating from the remodel of the house. Is that kolaches I smell? Maverik stopped dead in his tracks and looked around for signs of his master. He could see Eli in the next room, hard at work with a paintbrush in his hand. Eli looked in his direction, distractedly. Act casual, act casual, Maverik's thoughts raced as he employed his favorite delaying tactic, turning around and around--one good turn deserves another--before settling himself on the tile near the trash bag. He blew his breath out in a snort as he lay his big brown head on his paws, feigning indifference and boredom. He waited until Eli went back to his painting. Then he stood up, doing his best to be inconspicuous as he inched his way to the trash bag. **Sniff, Sniff, Sniff** Closer, closer, closer.... Maverik plunged his head into the bag, rooting around until he hit paydirt. It is kolaches! he thought as he wolfed down the bits of sausage and bread that remained in the discarded box. He was in heaven... until... "MAVERIK!" He heard Eli's sharp rebuke at the same time as he felt the yank on his collar. He looked up at Eli with his best pleading expression. Why does he have that look on his face? he thought as he licked his chops to salvage any remaining bits of sausage. Ugh...what's that taste? That doesn't taste like sausage... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I'm sorry but I just have to comment on the hideous pantsuit that Hillary was wearing for her first press conference as Secretary of State. Did anyone notice it besides me? I operate as a member of the clothes police often in my own hometown, but I had to break protocol and go outside the boundaries of my territory in this instance. I mean, seriously people, did you see it? It looked like it was made out of avocado green Berber carpet with splashes of dark green yarn for decorative trim. She had to have looked hard to find a pantsuit with that degree of wretchedness. Did she take a pay cut to become Secretary of State? Or was that monstrosity just her own personal nyuck, nyuck, nyuck at our new President? You know, a thumbing of her nose at him as in, "well, I'm not the President you know, so I don't have to waste time dressing for the position anymore." I've tried to find a picture of it to post here, but I could only find a video. It really should go down in the Hideous Clothing Hall of Fame. Now, our President, on the other hand, is a very snappy dresser. Very sharp - the man knows how to dress. If he can lead our country half as well as he dresses, then we may be in luck! |
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I'm so far right the Tea Party looks like a bunch of hippies!
