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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1437803-Can-we-talk/month/5-1-2015
Rated: 13+ · Book · Cultural · #1437803
I've maxed out. Closed this blog.
This is a way of making myself write something coherent and grammatically correct almost every day. I'm opinionated and need an outlet. I'm also prone to flights of fancy. Thanks for stopping by.
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May 31, 2015 at 11:11pm
May 31, 2015 at 11:11pm
#850728
         Holy moley! What four kids age 2 to 6 can do! They dumped out all the toys that Great Grandpa keeps for them. They played with my computer, my musical keyboard, and my I-pod without permission, but their parents never stopped them. Magazines and crushed crayons are everywhere. After they left, I found inside toys on the back porch by accident.

         During dinner, there were toy cars on the dinner table, and plastic Easter eggs under foot when you stood. (I knew I should have thrown those out instead of putting in the toy box.) With two adults standing nearby after everyone ate and played outside, someone knocked over the floor lamp, breaking four light bulbs and sending sparks everywhere. It looked like a fire was about to start, but it stopped when someone unplugged the lamp.

         That was cleaned up, but we went downstairs to get away from possible glass on the floor. Three girls and one boy, with their three mothers, were downstairs with me. The men stayed upstairs. These children made such loud cacophony and wrestled together like wild animals. I was on the floor to play a card game with the six year old, so they did tumble over me a time or two.

         When they were so tired, they had gotten cranky (yes, they got worse), they were packed up to go home. Parting is a long drawn out process. They're trying to teach the children to say good-bye and thank you. One or two did well, but two were definitely rebelling. Clearly, I was exhausted when they left. I still had to run the dishwasher, and scrub some pots, mop the floor, and try to tidy up a bit. I fell asleep for 10 minutes in a chair. The vacuuming can wait until tomorrow.

         Here's the thing. They are not my grandchildren. They are my father's grandchild and great grandchildren. I can't correct any of them or their parents. I can't complain about the adults not carrying their dirty glasses to the kitchen or dumping their trash or putting their chairs back in place. I don't want to offend them because they are family. I want them to come again. The children will grow up. I will be old and they won't be interested in visiting an aunt or great-aunt, once my dad is gone. So I try to enjoy my time with them while I have them. Despite everything, I am quite fond of them.

May 30, 2015 at 11:45pm
May 30, 2015 at 11:45pm
#850654
         If there is one thing we can do at our house, it is growing weeds. We have chickweed everywhere. The soil my dad mixes with vermiculite yields chickweed and some weed I can't name, which grows consistently in the sterile pots I use for herbs and begonias. Weeding the pots on the deck is a daily chore.

         Last weekend I weeded the vegetable garden again, and the outer perimeter, since it's a raised bed. The iris patch needs it again, but it's in back, too, so I haven't gotten it yet. Today, I did the mailbox out on the street, picked up broken branches from the shrubs and the yard, and weeded the area around the front patio. It's a large area to crawl around on your hands and knees.

         Now the flower pots are bad enough. But the yard also has vines and tree seedlings coming up where you don't want them. So you need gloves and a variety of tools to carry with you. I have to use sun screen and a hat to keep from looking like a lobster. There are also a number of things in the yard to surprise you. My dad is an elderly gentleman who won't give up, and forgets where he puts things. Or he plans to come back to it, but falls asleep, so it stays outside for a few days. You can find tools of all sizes, scrap metal, flower pots blown by the wind, buckets, hoses, and chemicals where you don't expect them. You just have to walk around. Sometimes he hangs things in the trees like pulleys or bungee straps. We must have a hundred screw drivers here: in the garage, the kitchen, the laundry room, his bedroom, the foyer, the covered entrance out front, the patio, the cars, the wheelbarrow, the back deck. I found one in the grass today and one in a flower pot.

         I've complained about pointing the lawn mowers away from the patio and walkways to avoid grass seed being thrown that way OR buying grass catchers to attach. But that's too much discipline. So pulling weeds by hand will continue to be a challenge. So will gathering up the tools and paraphernalia of the yard man. I'm calling it exercise.
May 29, 2015 at 11:27pm
May 29, 2015 at 11:27pm
#850581
         I know a lot of people just wish they could have a busy, party life like me. Tonight after almost completely ruining dinner, I cleaned the kitchen and put away everything and retired to watch Jeopardy. Wow, can you stand that excitement?

         I found nothing else on TV that I wanted to see. So I settled on a 1949 movie, The Third Man with Orson Welles. It was black and white. Much of the dialog was in German. Joseph Cotton was the lead actor. Orson doesn't appear until the last half. When he does appear, it is only briefly, and he stays mainly in the shadows.

         Welles plays a criminal who has faked his death. Amazingly, he portrays the guy as a like-able character.He's very low key and subtle. The only time he appears on camera in the light for very long is on a carnival ride with Joseph Cotton. They ride in a private box in a Ferris wheel type thing. For the top half, they have the door open, and it appears that one or the other or both will fall f out to the dots of people on the ground. Then on the last quarter down, they close the door and sit, conceding that they are friends, and neither can hurt the other.In the end he is running through the German sewers from what looks like hundreds of police, so you only catch an outline in the light or see him struggling up the exit ladder. He had very little face time with the camera.

         It was artfully and tastefully done. Maybe it's Welles rich voice: you always feel like you've witnessed something great when he acts. This is a wonderful film, highly recommended when you want to live it up.
May 28, 2015 at 11:28pm
May 28, 2015 at 11:28pm
#850515
         My grandmother Dixie was number 13 of 14 children. Basically her older sisters raised her. Her mother, the original Dixie, died when she was 12. I don't know when they gave her the same nickname, or maybe she had been "Little Dixie" prior to her mother's death. When I researched the family tree, I found another Dixie among her cousins.

         They lived on a farm and had a small apple orchard. They had a vegetable garden, but raised tobacco to sell. The apples were for eating, cooking, and making apple butter. Her father developed asthma that prevented him from working in the fields by the 1930's. By then Dixie was married and raising children. The only ones left on the farm were her invalid father, her brother who came back from the first Great War with a desire to drink instead of work, whenever possible, her oldest sister, and a brother who was kicked in the head by a mule in his youth.

         One sister married the dairy farmer next door. He died young and left her with the care of one child and 500 acres and a herd of cattle. Various members of the family would come at harvest time to help. They'd make apple butter in a big copper kettle on an outdoor fire. A mule was used to help stir a big wooden mechanism to prevent scorching. They'd can it, and split it among themselves. Between jobs, various ones would live on the dairy farm and make it run until a job presented itself somewhere else.

         Grandpa John couldn't walk the fields, but he could do crafts. He took up caning. He caned chair bottoms and made baskets. These sold very well and made some money for them. There was no welfare back then.With all those kids, he needed extra chairs, so he made stools from trees they had cut, and stretched leather or rubber across the tops.He was handy even before he got so sick.

         The married daughters always went home to visit whenever they could. They'd help each other out. My dad went to one of these aunts every summer after school was out. That's how he fell in love with three of them in particular, and stayed close to them and the drinking uncle. He'd go out to visit them and would find Uncle Hubert by following the beer cans left in the woods. He learned how to separate cream, how to hitch a mule, and many other things. He had a lot of freedom running through the country and playing with his cousins.Every August, he'd cry when it was time to go back to the city before school started again.

         Dad, like a lot of country folk, loves to tell stories. My brothers and I have heard his stories over and over. Somehow we still love them and love to hear them again.
May 27, 2015 at 11:50pm
May 27, 2015 at 11:50pm
#850414
         My dad's life has been about food. When he was 12, he went to work in a grocery store as a box boy. He'd carry groceries for people 2 or 3 blocks, and maybe he'd get a nickel tip. The store was downtown on Main Street. You had to be 13 to work, so Grandma told them he was 13. His father worked on the railroad and would be gone from Monday to Friday. Grandpa was tight with money and sometimes didn't give his wife enough to last all week. She'd take young Harry's tip money without asking and buy bread for the family.

         In high school, he still worked at the store, but more hours. He did a little of everything. He ended up in the butcher shop and stayed there after he finished school. When we were kids, he had gone to a food distributor, fresh meat, frozen foods, and other packaged foods. He was a manger there and did everything. Eventually, he worked part-time at another grocery to make extra money for a growing family. When the distributor went out of business--the owner was elderly and ready to quit--, he went to a small upscale grocer in the butcher shop. When they were sold out, he went to yet another upscale grocer, with a nice clientele.

         He left there at age 78, and within a few weeks, he was back at work in a small butcher shop in an exclusive little market. There's a gourmet chocolate shop, two restaurants, a spice store, a bakery, a seafood store, a cheese and wine store, a florist who does not deliver, and this little organic butcher shop. He's almost 90 and still working.

         He's not a chef, but he knows meat recipes. He can tell you how to cook a piece of meat, what kind to buy for what you're preparing. He can cook soup the way they did in the store. (You play it by ear, or whatever you happen to have on hand.) But he prefers vegetables cooked the old-fashioned, country way. We get him to try modern things though. I try to get him to have healthier versions than what he learned to love as a boy with his country cooking aunts.

         No one has ever left his house hungry. If strangers came to our house, they were fed. A hobo going down the street asked for a sandwich when I was in grade school. He got two and a glass of water. We have foreigners in the house for holidays.Dad couldn't stand for someone to be alone on a holiday. A coworker of his had grown children and his wife was a nurse who volunteered to work Christmas, so he came to our house to celebrate with us and eat breakfast after he took his wife to work. We learned from Dad, and so did the grandchildren. Feed people.

         He grows a garden, still, not as big as in the old days, when he was steadier on his feet, and his back didn't hurt so much.He loves fruit and fresh vegetables. He loves to talk about labeling, and organics, and honesty in advertising. I think if we were to celebrate his life (he's told me absolutely no retirement party) it would have to be an abundance of food. Serve everyone until they were satisfied with such a variety, that no one would be left out.
May 26, 2015 at 11:32pm
May 26, 2015 at 11:32pm
#850322
         I grew up when afternoon teas were still acceptable. Women wore pretty dresses, hats, and white gloves and would show up for tea. There's a lot of formality involved. It does feel a little like children playing make believe, but maybe that's why it fascinated me so much. I've always wanted to have a tea party, but it takes more than one person present who knows how such a party works.

         Tea is the first ingredient. These days we like choices, so having more than one variety is essential. Bags are convenient; no strainers are necessary. You don't need silver service. There are pretty little ceramic pots. Cups and saucers instead of mugs are a must. Your best spoons, stainless or silver, will do, but no plastic. In addition to sugar, lumps or loose, you need artificial sweetener. Lemon wedges on a pretty little plate, and milk in a cream pot, complete the tea part.

         Real linens are required. A cloth tablecloth with no plastic cover must cover the table. If it's a large group, you can get away with paper cocktail napkins, but cloth is better. The American version of the menu will allow any small or dainty finger foods, nothing messy or dripping. Little sandwiches without crusts, for example, are satisfactory. No chips and dip. The menu can be simple and short, preferably homemade or from the bakery.

         In movies or on TV, I've always seen the hostess "pour" or serve. But the etiquette books (yes, some of us still defer to the experts) suggest that a friend actually pour the tea for each guest, once the hostess has brought it to the table.

         By the way, the tea pot should be rinsed with boiling water just before putting in the tea bags with hot water. Or if you're serving tea bags, cups should be warmed the same way. The tea bag soaks only long enough to make it the desired strength and is then placed in a bowl or other holder. Do not use it a second time if you like good tea.

         An RN friend of mine, when I lived in another county, and I talked about staging a big tea party for a women's community meeting and discussion group, but we never got our guest speakers lined up. We were both busy and let it drop. I could also see doing it as a fund raiser. A little nostalgia, and an air of make believe.

         On the other hand, our world may be just a little too casual, too paper cup and plastic spoon oriented to pull it off. We'd show up in jeans and boots and would look for the taco dip. Who cares if you blow on your coffee or put your napkin in your lap? Those traditions will pass with our memories.
May 25, 2015 at 11:56pm
May 25, 2015 at 11:56pm
#850255
         Back to normal tomorrow. I'll be in the dentist office about the time I usually get up. For some reason I picked all my doctors close to home, but the eye doctor and dentist are on the opposite outskirts of town. Oh, well. My teeth always feel better after. And going early means I go right after cleaning my teeth, before drinking coffee. I'm sure the hygienist appreciates that.

         We all overate at my house, except the two year old. He successfully destroyed the new elephant ears planted on the patio. We didn't have as many guests as expected. They're coming next weekend. Only family could get away with changing the invitation date to suit themselves.

         So, it's back to life as usual, whether it's work or the doctors, or gardening or errand running. Set the alarm and lay out tomorrow's clothes. The holiday weekend was nice, but all nice things come to an end. Maybe the mundane duties keep us going. Another holiday is around the corner.

May 24, 2015 at 9:40pm
May 24, 2015 at 9:40pm
#850169
         It is good to have a day or remembrance of all those who have fallen in every war for our country. The sacrifice they made and that their family endured should be recognized.

         It is also important to honor those who have returned wounded. Their suffering and sacrifice continues on. Their families are strained financially and emotionally as they deal with the day to day problems. Their dreams and plans for the future have been altered.

         The veterans who returned alive and without visible wounds need to be honored as well. They have been brave men and women who followed command and did their duty, risking their safety and welfare for their ideals. I am appreciative of their service. Many carry hidden wounds, mental stress, and bad dreams.

         Often, we overlook the members of the press who took great risks covering wars and police action, trying to bring home to us the truth. Some have been injured or killed doing their jobs. I pay tribute to them as well for keeping us informed.

         With Memorial Day, we not only honor the past and honor those still living who have served, but we hold up the hope for peace. We long for that day when there is no war. no desire to kill or harm. Maybe in the back of our minds, we don't believe that day will ever come. But we should live as though it is possible and hold onto that hope.
May 23, 2015 at 11:58pm
May 23, 2015 at 11:58pm
#850129
         I have an upstairs book (on my Kindle) and a downstairs book. Which one I'm reading depends on where I find myself relaxing. I finished both within the last two days, so I'm starting new ones.

         Downstairs (family room, laundry, etc.), I've had David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty Some Day. It's been out a few years now. He writes autobiographical essays that are hysterically funny. So you could skip around or quit early and still be very entertained. He has an unusual way of looking at the world and is very blunt about a lot of things. He's lived in New York, South Carolina, and Paris. He's had a long line of jobs of many descriptions. He loves to watch movies, including the oldies. I laughed out loud quite a few times.

         Upstairs, I've read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. The story is told by two people, husband and wife, both writers professionally. One arouses more sympathy than the other, then you have some doubt, but you never like the other. Part two turns everything around. Your faith in the first one is restored, even though you now see the serious flaws. But the second is psycho. The book gets more compelling with each chapter. The ending is not satisfying for me because justice is never served. You're left hanging with these very disturbed individuals. There are some very poignant observations along the way, making these sick people quite intelligent and insightful, as well as dangerous.

         My new books will be downstairs: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (already saw the movie)
and upstairs: How Will Your Life Be Measured, by a Harvard Business grad. Some nonfiction.
May 22, 2015 at 10:42pm
May 22, 2015 at 10:42pm
#850069
         We feed the birds year round. I've noticed my dad is buying seed in 50 pound bags now. He puts it in a tall container, which holds about 3 pounds, with a top out in the garage where he stores it. He takes the container up to the kitchen where it lasts a few days. So every morning while the coffee is brewing, he's on the back porch filling the feeders. (He clears the snow on the railing in winter, so they can perch there.)

         My mother has been gone eight years. He still calls the doves "Mama's doves" when they come to eat. He faces the window at every meal so that he can watch. The cardinals nest in a blooming tree by the front door, and come around back to eat. They share with other birds. The wrens share with the non-aggressive birds. To listen to my dad, the same cardinal has been living there for over a decade. I told him once that it was probably a younger generation, but that didn't go over. The cardinals stay all year round.

         The most aggressive is the blue jay. He does not share. All the others take off before he lands. Mr. Cardinal might hang around a while, but if they get to close to each other, he leaves. Blue jay comes every evening during dinner. We watch him all by himself picking out seed while we eat our vegetables. He's our dinner guest.

         Sometimes when I'm watering my flowers or planting new dill seed, a bird or two will light as though I'm not there. A sudden move or speaking sends them flying off. I'd like to put a bird bath out back in the flower bed. My grandmother used to have one in the front yard. People sitting in her living room were amazed to see that birds really do take baths! They dip in and shake like crazy. You have to rinse it out and refill it every day to keep the slime away. Birds can be fun entertainment if you are willing to work at it.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1437803-Can-we-talk/month/5-1-2015