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 |  My first WDC blog, cruelly abandoned but not forgotten... |
| I'm not as prolific as I should be when it comes to writing, so I'm blogging to try to encourage and motivate myself to write more. Sometimes I'll be ranting and sometimes I'll be pondering... and sometimes I'll just write the first thing that comes into my head to satisfy the demands of the 'Update your blog' email! If you like what I write or have anything to say, I appreciate all comments. |
| I've realised the main problem I have with NaNoWriMo. It's a timing thing. Every weekend so far this month, I've been away, which can be blamed entirely on friends' birthdays. For this reason, I haven't done any NaNoWriMo work at all on weekends, as I've not had computer access. And of course during the week I'm at work, where I can't do any writing, and I don't usually get home till pretty late, so I've been generally useless. Anyway, even though there is no way I can possibly do it now, I'm still going to carry on and have decided I will attempt to get to 20,000 words rather than the proper target of 50,000. Pretty lame, I know, but I really think it's the best I'll be able to do now. So the question is, should I attempt it again next year? The various birthdays that have kept me away from my computer this month will, of course, take place on the same dates in 2009. So I wonder whether maybe I should try doing it by myself in October or another month. I know it sounds crazy and the whole point is that you do it at the same time as other people so you can support and encourage each other, but I'd like to know whether I can actually achieve the 50,000 words in a month challenge, and I know I can't do it in one of the few months of the year when I have numerous social commitments! I wonder whether other people have this problem with NaNoWriMo and, if so, how they deal with it. I kind of feel like in order to get to the 50,000-word target I'd have to have pretty much no social life for the whole month - is that really the case for everyone or am I over-estimating how long it would take me? Oh, what I'd give for an empty Saturday in which to do nothing else but sit at my computer and write. Well, I guess I can finally do that this weekend... although unfortunately I think it will definitely be a case of too little, too late. |
| I knew I'd be happy if Obama won, but I didn't realise quite how profoundly it would affect me. I cried when I watched his victory speech, and there have been various other points over the last 24 hours when my eyes have welled with tears. The words "momentous" and "historic" are being used an awful lot today, but for once these words are not overstatements. What a beautiful moment for the history of America and, indeed, the world. I truly hope that when he becomes president, Obama is able to live up (at least somewhat) to the expectations of his supporters throughout the US and the world. Obviously it will be hard for him and his administration — but this is no time to be losing faith! There was a brilliant cartoon in one of our national papers here in the UK today: an old man is sitting in a chair in what is clearly an old people's home, saying to the nurse, "I'll always remember where I was when I slept through the election result". Well, I'm pleased to say I was watching TV till 2am, then got a couple of hours' sleep (albeit with the radio on!) and woke up in time to hear McCain's concession speech and then turn on the TV for Obama's victory speech. So even though I was in England I managed not to sleep through it. And I will definitely remember it for the rest of my life. A beautiful, positive day. God bless America x |
| I'm jealous of Americans today, having the chance to make history. I can only sit and watch TV, look at the internet and hope and pray that the result goes the way I want it to. I'm so excited — I love US politics anyway but this election is by far the most exciting of my lifetime so far. But I'm also nervous; particularly because I want Obama to win and I keep reading that he is winning, he will win, he's ahead in all polls etc... and it scares me. I don't like the idea of lazy or non-committed people seeing the poll results and deciding they needn't bother voting. I don't think anyone should call it till it's over; it's just tempting fate. In other, non-election-based news: I'm feeling a bit better about NaNoWriMo than I was yesterday! Thanks very much to everyone who offered me advice and support. I think I've figured out what the problem was. I have never been a particularly prolific writer, because it's too important to me that I say exactly what I want to say, exactly how I want to say it. One of the reasons I started writing this blog was to try to get into the habit of writing regularly, not taking so much time over things but just letting everything spill out onto the page. And that's also the main reason I decided to go for NaNoWriMo — I knew it would be a challenge because I'd have to write in a very different way to what I'm used to. But the first couple of days were hard, as I was trying to write what I intended to say, rather than just letting ideas flow. So when I get home from work tonight (US election coverage doesn't properly start till 11pm here so I'll have some free time!) I'm going to just let go and get writing. Just write anything and see what happens. That's the plan, at least! |
| Why did I think I'd have time to do this? I'm very possibly insane. So far, not so good. Must try harder. See, I can't even write my blog...that's how frazzled my brain has become.... |
| Nice to know some public figures can tell the difference between right and wrong, and aren't afraid to say so: "I'm also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the [Republican] Party say... such things as 'Well, you know that Mr Obama is a Muslim'. "Well the correct answer is, 'He's not a Muslim, he's a Christian, he's always been a Christian'. But the really right answer is, "What if he is?' Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer is 'No', that's not America." |
| A blog comment I received on my "election rant" entry has made me think about patriotism, and how different it is in the US and the UK. It was the phrase "what it means to be American" that did it – it's not an uncommon phrase, and yet I don't think I've ever heard anyone I know ponder what it means to be British. Americans, by and large, take patriotism pretty seriously. Republicans in particular, it seems, are fond of using "Un-American" as a damning criticism of views they don't like. But regardless of political beliefs, most Americans seem to treat the flag and the national anthem as things to be revered. I guess it comes from growing up saying the pledge of allegiance – people tend to be proud to be American. Conversely, there seems to be a large number of Americans who are equally proud of their international heritage. When I went to university in Massachusetts, I was struck by how many people told me they were Irish, Scottish, Polish etc – meaning that their great-great-grandparents were originally from that country. (I guess it's different when you're British... my heritage is mostly English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh but I can just say British and – other than possibly offending some Irish people – that pretty much covers it!) Three weeks into my time at UMass, 9/11 happened. And it was interesting to see how those same people who had been Irish or Polish were suddenly very much American. Obviously, it was an exceptional circumstance, and national pride was crucial at that time of crisis. But it was strange for me, having little experience of this level of patriotism, to witness the fervour with which people declared their American pride. I really don't want to give the impression that I'm criticising the US kind of patriotism; it's just very different to how things are in the UK. Mainly the flag thing. In America, it's normal for someone to hang (is that the right term? Should it be 'fly'?) the flag outside their house, for example. In Britain, most people wouldn't do that. Unless there is a major sporting event that we're participating in, such as the football or rugby World Cup, it's not common to see the English or British flag flying anywhere – and if you do, chances are whoever's flying it is very right-wing, possibly even aligned with the BNP (to generalise massively, the BNP is a neo-fascist nationalist party that wants all non-British or non-white people out of the country). It seems the main difference is that Americans are brought up to be proud of their nationality in a way that British people aren't. Scottish, Welsh and Irish people tend to have Scottish, Welsh or Irish pride, but there isn't really an English equivalent (except in the case of the aforementioned neo-fascists). And I think it comes down to this: we shouldn't be proud to be English. The history of England (and, by extension, Britain) is one of colonialism, of attacking and invading and taking over other countries for our own ends. For most people, by modern standards, that's nothing to be proud of. I, personally, have never felt proud to be English. I feel lucky to have been born in the western world where, let's face it, we're pretty privileged compared with everybody else, but that's just what it is: luck. I take no pride in being from a country that has stamped on and exploited people for hundreds of years. The USA, on the other hand, has had the opposite history. Obviously, there's the uncomfortable subject of the treatment of Native Americans, but otherwise Americans all came from other places – places where they were oppressed and from which they broke free. That would explain why so many Americans proudly claim their "original" heritage – whether they consciously mean it to be or not, it is a tribute to those ancestors who risked their lives to find a better life in the "land of the free". Black Americans tell a different story, of course, as so many of them are the descendants of slaves. Perhaps that is part of the race problem in the US – it is hard to escape the shame of that part of white America's history. So I wonder, given that it seems the pride/shame divide comes down to history, whether Americans will always be as patriotic as they are now. As time goes on and the superpower that is the United States continues wielding its power in the world, will its people become less inclined to take pride in its actions? I hope not, because I think that an element of national pride is a good thing to have. Not being a religious person, it makes much more sense to me that Americans get a holiday for Thanksgiving than that we Brits get a four-day weekend for Easter (not that I'm unhappy about the time off work!) But in recent years, there hasn't been much the US government has done (either abroad or at home – Katrina, anyone?) to make its citizens feel proud. And I guess that's why a lot of foreigners who don't know much about America take a dislike to the country and its people. To outsiders, that national pride can come across as arrogance. Particularly when you come from a country where national pride is reserved for the arrogant. Just want to apologise if I've offended anyone with these musings, I really don't mean to. It's just interesting to me how two countries with fairly similar cultures can be so completely different in some ways. |
OK, so first of all, I've had some great responses to my last blog, including an awardicon from Thomas   for which I am extremely grateful!No doubt I will continue to write sporadic blogs about the presidential election race as November 4th nears... despite how angry I get about it sometimes, I really do love US politics. And knowing that there are people reading and appreciating what I write makes me more determined to get regular with this blogging thing. In other news, I have gone insane and signed up for NaNoWriMo this year. I know lots of WDC members do it, but for someone like me who isn't even prolific enough to update my blog every day, it seems like an immense challenge. So I've also joined the NaNoWriMists group here on WDC to try to keep my spirits and motivation up. Right now I don't even have an idea for a novel, and we're almost half-way through October so I should really start planning soon. Oh dear. Wish me luck! |
| OK, I just got back from Vancouver where I spent a lot of time watching US television to keep up to date with the run-up to the presidential election. Since getting home yesterday, I'm having to resort to the internet as UK television doesn't offer much in the way of US news (I inexplicably have FOX News but no other US channels....er, thanks for nothing). Anyway, while browsing the BBC news website this afternoon I came across the clip of John McCain defending Obama as a "decent guy" (and getting booed for it by his own supporters!) after a member of the audience at his campaign event said that she can't trust Obama because "he's an Arab". McCain's response to the notion of Obama being an Arab was: no, he's not, he's a "decent" person. I'm so incensed I hardly know where to begin. Until public figures start acknowledging that being an Arab is not the same as being a terrorist, many members of the public will remain ignorant and continue to believe such ridiculous ideas. I cannot believe that McCain did not point out that, although Obama is not an Arab so it is not really relevant, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with being an Arab. Hating or fearing all Arabs simply because some of them are fundamentalists is like hating and fearing all people because some of them are murderers. And as for the fact that this woman thought Obama was an Arab in the first place.... I'm all for democracy but there is an argument to be made for restricting the vote to those people who can grasp basic concepts. And by "basic concepts" I do NOT mean: white good, non-white bad - which seems to be the logic driving far too many Americans in this election (and, indeed, life in general). I would like to point out that I have no intention of criticising Americans in general - or even Republicans, with whom I disagree on various points. But I simply cannot stand the idiocy of some people who continue to make ridiculous judgements based on things like race, religion or general xenophobia and have nothing whatsoever to do with the issues at stake. The USA should be among the world's most respected democracies, so I implore American voters to respect it themselves and vote on policy and issues. |
| Well, yesterday was my friend Darren's funeral. And I just wanted to write something about the wonderful quality of human strength that I saw there. His family were literally amazing. His sudden death was so awful - bad enough for me as a friend but I cannot even imagine what it must feel like to lose your sibling, child or grandchild in such a way. And yet his family seemed to be taking it in their stride and going out of their way to make sure he got the 'proper send-off' he deserved. After the crematorium we all went to a pub for the wake, and straight away Darren's sister went around introducing herself to all of us and sharing stories and memories. She and her parents were eager to meet all of Darren's friends and hear about how much he was loved. It was so sweet of them to take the time to talk to us all, and it felt good to know the things we were saying were in some way helping them with their grief. It is hard to see goodness and hope when something so terrible happens, and even though yesterday was a very upsetting day for me and so many others, it was nice to see real evidence of people finding strength and comfort in each other. As I was leaving, Darren's sister asked me to raise a glass to Darren this weekend. And I promised that I would - not just this weekend, but every weekend. I owe it to my friend to never let the memory of his wonderful smile fade. Rest in peace honey, I miss you x |
| It's horrible how sometimes it takes something truly, massively awful to make you realise how insignificant all the other crap is. On Friday morning, a friend of mine was found dead in his bed. No one knows what happened to him, he died in his sleep. He hadn't been ill as far as any of us are aware; I saw him just a couple of weeks ago and he was fine, we had loads of fun and everything was completely normal. And suddenly he is gone. I'm so shocked that I haven't really taken it in. I have broken down and cried a few times but a lot of the time, like right now, I feel like I don't really believe that it has happened. It makes no sense and I just can't get my head around it. He was such a lovely, funny guy, always up for a laugh and a really sweet person, and I just can't imagine never seeing him again. I don't understand why life has to be so disgustingly awful sometimes. I would love to be able to say something profound now in an attempt to make sense of it all, but I really don't have it in me. A beautiful person who had so much love and joy to offer those around him has been snatched from the world for no reason at all, and it's just a horrific waste. I know that life goes on and time heals and blah blah blah, but right now I just feel like this world can be such a horrendously miserable, nasty place and I hate it. Rest in peace Darren, I wish I'd spent more time with you because now I'll never have the chance again, and you were a wonderful man whom I'm lucky to have known. |
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I want to take a long trip so badly. Oh man, I want to hear how the trip went - please! And if you have pictures, I think I might have to squeal a little. 
