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I choose to begin again. This is my new blog. |
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This is my blog. It will be personal, emotional, and I may vent. I may use it for group items, such as or other purposes ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is where residents of Blog City can come and relax. Read, meditate, or write in quiet comfort and peace. Let your mind wander and your muse wonder. Soothing snacks and bountiful beverages abound. Peace is our goal. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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I wish I could I wish I could live without a care and have everything right People would ask questions instead of bellowing silence and their endless stare I wish I could run and play ball with my son We'd both be carefree and having lots of fun I wish I could sing like the birds in the trees and carry a melody on the gentlest breeze I wish I could walk like others around me I'd have the freedom to be more like me I wish I could speak and really be heard instead of being a poem without a single word |
Depression I've beeen feeling depressed of late and also quite down I don't have a smile anymore or the heart of a clown Tears have replaced a cheery demeanor Life is throwing a wicked curve and making me meaner I know what would put me in a better mood To give me what is mine and let me do what I should The original plan is still in place the recipient is clueless and will have shock on his face I know I've made mistakes too many to name No one else is at fault it is me who holds the shame |
Depression I've beeen feeling depressed of late and also quite down I don't have a smile anymore or the heart of a clown Tears have replaced a cheery demeanor Life is throwing a wicked curve and making me meaner I know what would put me in a better mood To give me what is mine and let me do what I should The original plan is still in place the recipient is clueless and will have shock on his face I know I've made mistakes too many to name No one else is at fault it is me who holds the shame |
| If I had the opportunity to have a superpower for a day, I would choose to be able to have 20/20 vision. I know people say that you don't miss what you never had. I've never had good yet along perfect vision. I would like the ability to see things at a distance. I would want to be able to drive and get around on my own. It's a pain to have to rely on others to get around. I wish I could get around on my own. |
| Spring Cleaning isn't one of my favorite chores. I've already lost a jogging outfit. It disappeared. I have no idea where It ended up. I guess the more important spring cleaning is to get rid of all the anger, resentment, and other negative feelings i've harbored for many years. The people who I hold responsible for my feeelings live in another part of the state. I don't want them at my place of residence. If I bring all this to a head at their residence, then nI risk having what is legally mine stolen from me. As it has been for many years, I haven't had access at all. My mother uses this as her last way to control me. My response was that if she feels that way, then she is a horrible mother. Obviously, she doesn't trust her upbringing of me and what she taught. It's obvious that that piece of news hasn't made itself known to her. It's time for me to open her eyes. There are issues with her husband, my sperm donor. He's told her the real reason why he didn't take me to the Father/Daughter dance when I was in high school. He blatently said it was due to him being embarrassed and ashamed of me. He did, however, take my sister four years later. She's the daughter he always wanted. I'll see what happens tomorrow when we go to their house for Easter and my birthday. I can hardly wait for tomorrow night to come. |
| If I could be a fictional character, I would choose Samantha Stephens from Bewitched. The reason I chose her is because I would be able to use witchcraft to mend all that is wrong in my life. I would be able to walk without a walker, my eyesight would be good enough to drive, I would be able to obtain a good job, and I would not have been bullied in school. The only aspects of this transformation that would be negative would be if I lost my powers or if I became ill. |
| there are several things that motivate me. Some of these are the following: lying in a dark room when everyone is asleep, scenery, a day's certain events, people, a day at the park.also, my girl, Shadow always inspires me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| My favorite holiday meal is when my mother makes a spiral sliced ham, homemade scalloped potatoes, corn, carrots, garden salad, relishes, and iced tea. For dessert, homemade salad dressing chocolate cake w/butter cream icing.My father had friends in the neighborhood where the precinct was when he was still a police officer. some of these friends owned meat shops. That is why the ham is always so good. Ever since I could remember, my mother's scalloped potatoes were to die for. She'd have milk, butter, American cheese, thinly sliced potatoes, and seasoning. She'd bake them in the oven for at least one hour. The vegetables, salad, relishes, and beverages were made a git ahead of time. The cake and other desserts were also made earlier. My father was the person to carve the ham. While I'm writing this, my mouth is watering. My birthday is around Easter usually around Easter, so that was the reason for the cake. It's my favorite. After We finished eating, I'm stuffed. You'll have to roll me home.. |
| It was Easter, 19725. I was just discharged from the hospital on Easter Sunday. I underwent a surgery to have six staples in my right knee to make the right leg stop growing. The cast went from my ankle all the way past my knee and half way up my thigh. It was heavy, cumbersome, and a pain. I was laying on the couch with my right leg propped on a pillow. My Easter basket was on a TV tray next to the couch. Sandy, our then two year old cockapoo, was lying on the carpet next to me. A pesky fly was buzzing around me and I was trying to swat him away. Sandy thought she'd fix the problem. She jumped on my stomach and tried to bite the fly. She was unsuccessful in her quest. Finally, my father got a flyswatter and ended the fly's misbehavior. Two years before this, in 1970, we were at my maternal grandparents for the holiday. Everyone was there for dinner and being together. My grandmother made bousche{blood soup} for dinner. I took one look and gagged. The rest of the meal was delicious. That was going to be the last Easter in that house. They would move out of the city in June of that year. When my mother was washing dishes, my grandparents' parakeet, Louie, flew to her shoulder. He gave her several kisses, and perched himself on on the faucet and began giving himself a bath Louie didn't like me. He'd fly away from every chance he had freedom. |
| I've had many low points in my life. The best way to overcome these times is to write, deep breathing, be in a calm setting and meditate. Lately, my low point have been surrounded by me breaking out and crying. Logically, I know that the situation isn't serious enough for that, but it occurs anyway. I don't know if this is an after effect of the stroke I had last year, or if it's something else. The one year anniversary of that happening is coming up fast and I am deathly scared. I'm seeing my husband for who he really is and I'm not pleased. I know I made the choice so there is no one else to blame I know there are the would of, could of.... and so on.The other day, I was thinking of the friends I had here at the complex who have been dead for many years. In two instances, their passing couldn't be avoided.But in the other two it could have if they hadn't chose the lifestyle they did. Remembering the good times makes me want them again. |
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