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 |  Are hash tags still cool? |
| After recovering from a small bout of depression, I'm back again to talk about first world problems, make fun of my ridiculousness, and find a place where I can just be me. |
| Prompt for March 3, 2013: Blog. Tell us about your week. Include your favorite blog entry from your fellow challengers from the preceding week and, most importantly, why. My life was pretty boring this week. I had the flu for most of my week, so really I just rolled around in my bed like I was dying of Tuberculosis. I ate a lot of soup, took a lot of showers, slept, did a ton of reading, and watched way too much Vampire Diaries. Since, that’s basically a recap of my life, and it’s really PATHETIC. I’ve decided to do a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-Story-Version, instead! For those of you who never had a childhood, a choose your own adventure story, "is written from a second-person point of view, with the reader assuming the role of the protagonist and making choices that determine the main character's actions and the plot's outcome” Ok here we go. Monday You wake up Monday morning, make yourself a cinnamon roll and some hot chocolate and then head to work. During your time at work you find that you start feeling funny and you have a headache. Around noon, you begin coughing and sneezing uncontrollably. Do you: go to the store during break and Buy Medication or Tough it Out? BUY MEDICATION Before you went to the store, you researched the allergy alert. The allergy alert report states that tree pollen is uncharacteristically high. Therefore, you decide that you need to purchase something that contains Diphenhydramine. Diphenhydramine is commonly found in Benadryl, and is also a known sleep aid. You take a Benadryl and then answer a phone call saying, “Holy Hell, Bruno how’d you get this number!” your boss overhears you, and fires you. You leave work and head home, but you aren’t supposed to be operating heavy machinery. As a result, you drive your car into the County Courthouse, and are arrested and detained until someone can get to you. While you are in a jail cell, a local gang member mistakes you for a rival gang member’s girlfriend. This gang member does not believe in the code of the streets, he shanks you, and you die. To start from the beginning click here. TOUGH IT OUT You decide not to buy medication and tough it out. Besides you’ve only got 2 more hours left of work. You find that you start getting worse by the hour, and ask your boss if you can leave early. She’s in a good mood because you’ve exceeded your daily quota of task completion, and your numbers are looking good. Go you! You grab a benadryl out of your medicine cabinet, and then proceed to write a somewhat loopy blog. You go to sleep, and then the fever starts to kick in. It’s the middle of the night, Do you: go to the Emergency Room? Or Wait until the morning to go to your regular doctor? EMERGENCY ROOM Deciding to go to the Emergency Room, you run to your car. Only, you’ve just relocated, and you have no clue where the Emergency Room is. You decide to stop at a local gas station to ask for directions. Only the gas station is in the middle of a stick-up. The gunman holds you hostage, and you say. “but please sir, I’m dying,” Misunderstanding what you meant the gunman decides to put you out of your misery. You die. To start from the beginning click here. To Make a better choice click here WAIT UNTIL MORNING You wake up early and call your local doctor’s office. The doctor is pleasantly surprised to see you. She looks at your chart asking, “Did you ever get that flu shot I told you about.” Feeling, like an idiot you shake your head, No. The Doctor has the nurse come in and swab your nose. Do you: hold still while the nurse swabs your nose? Or Accidentally kick the nurse in the knee? HOLD STILL You hate getting your nose swabbed, but you hold still. You are a grown-up after all. The doctor’s visit goes quickly and smoothly. You do end up having the flu. You leave the doctors office only to find that there has been a car accident in the local Town Square. You don’t have time to wait, and want to hurry up and grab your prescription. You end up taking an alternate route. You miss a turn, and end up on some highway that doesn’t have an exit. You keep looking for somewhere to turn around, but you can’t seem to get off of the highway. Your car runs out of gas. A trucker takes pity on you and decides to take you to a local gas station. During the conversation, you tell the trucker that you have the flu. The trucker has Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder and upon hearing that you have the flu begins to relive his time in Kuwait! He’s telling you to get down, when he flips the truck over. You die. To start from the beginning click here. To Make a better choice click here Accidentally Kick the Nurse Well, the nurse gets offended that you kick her, and tells you that you’re acting like a little baby. You get offended in turn and start acting like a little baby and proceed to fight with the nurse until she gets your nose swabbed. You find out that you have the flu, and the whole ordeal took so long that you end up avoiding the worst of the traffic from the car accident in Town Square. You get your prescription filled, go home, and have a very uneventful weekend. You read some amazing blogs during the course of the week. Your favorites being the one where Fivesixer   had that mishap with a motorized shopping cart "This one's not about the Oscars."  ,It’s hysterical and you laugh until you cry, and become unable to look at any motorized shopping cart without thinking about how 56er decided not to be “That guy.” You also enjoy the exciting story of Jiberjot the mime who actually could talk because it’s cute, and you didn’t really see the end coming. You like it when you can’t see the endings coming. You also really like sock puppets. Only you can’t remember who wrote Jiberjot. Do you: just end the post here? Or See if you can find out who wrote Jiberjot? END THE POST HERE You end the post and decide to take your laundry out of the machine. Walking down the steep steps you’re distracted not knowing who wrote the tale of Jiberjot. You fall down the stairs. You die. To start from the beginning click here. To Make a better choice click here FIND OUT WHO WROTE JIBERJOT You find out who wrote Jiberjot, turns out that it was SapphireRainee  and you can find the post here "Invalid Entry" THE END. You lived through the weekend! Happy Sunday! |
| Prompt for March 2, 2013: Today is the day Theodor Geisel (commonly known as Dr. Seuss) was born! In honor of his birthday and Creation Saturday, write a poem in the style of Dr. Seuss. If you are poetically challenged, write a goofy story similar in theme to Dr. Seuss’s books. Mr. Woo At 6:46 in the early day light, Look out of your window, you’ll see a great sight! The Marvelous Mysterious Mr. Woo The old magician from Abrakazoo. He used to have tricks, amazing to see And people would say, “How wondrous is he!” Like pulling a rabbit right out of his hat, Then suddenly, Poof! Wow look it’s a bat! But all that is gone and it’s really quite tragic, There’s nothing more left of Mr. Woo’s magic. The magic’s long gone where no one can find it, And poor Mr. Woo is a boring old hermit. The kids on his street like to laugh and tease, “Old boring Woo, how wondrous is he?” He doesn’t get angry, and neither should you. He just looks at his watch, and soon you will too. Because at 6:46 in the early day light for one minute only, all that’s wrong is set right, And the Marvelous Mysterious Mr. Woo Regains all his magic from Abrakazoo. |
| Prompt for March 1, 2013: Is humor (satire/humor/simple teasing) an effective way to comment on, critique, and/or change the behavior of others? Of society? A government? Is it possible to be funny without having the joke be on someone, or does all comedy have to mock someone/something? “They're our next-door neighbors, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska,” Sarah Palin said during a 2008 ABC News Interview. You don’t remember that? Maybe you remember it this way, “I can see Russia from my house.” The hilarious impersonation of Sarah Palin by Tina Fey during the 2008 presidential election made headlines, and in 2012 the Boston Globe published an article titled How Tina Fey destroyed Sarah Palin. Modern political scientists call it the SNL effect, and since 2008 it’s left many people wondering if SNL is just comedy or something more. It’s something more, alright. It’s good ol’-fashioned-pants-slappin’ humor, and it’s a very effective way to comment on, critique, and change the position of others. I think humor works because it’s an easy way of holding a person’s attention. Are the presidential debates interesting? No. Was the SNL parody of the debates interesting? Yes. Humor also brings a positive emotional response to sometimes mundane and boring events. What am I saying? Oh yeah, we regular folks like to laugh. And laugh we do. Aside from it being hysterical, satire is one of the oldest used forms of sharing opinions. I like to think there’s an old cave drawing somewhere commenting on Goolock’s inability to lead the cave people. After all, Goolock cannot carve symbols into stone. What kind of cave leader cannot carve symbols into stone? Like seeing a Nixon’s the One bumper sticker STILL on an old chevy pickup, all humor belongs in a certain time and a certain place with the right audience. The dangers of humor are in the moments when you aren’t laughing with someone, but at someone. Besides I got the flu, ain’t nobody got time for that. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] |
| PROMPT: Write about what experience with the medical profession you have ever had that can compete with Fivesixer...blog CHAMP!! 's ongoing situation? (Hopefully, these will cheer him up while he recovers.) I hate doctor’s offices, and I try not to go. Unfortunately, I have high blood pressure and I have to visit my local doctor every 6 months. I’m a terrible patient because I’m terrible at waiting. After waiting in the waiting room with old boring magazines, the bible, and Dr. Seuss books for an hour, the nurse escorts me in a room and feeds me the biggest piece of garbage ever, “the doctor will be with you shortly.” A normal person would sit there and wait patiently. Not me. I look in the drawers and cabinets, play with the machines, sit on the bed and fidget until I completely tear up the white paper. I, also, move to the doctors chair and pretend that I’m a doctor, This is what my life would be like if I hadn’t failed college chemistry. I’m so bored. This is booorrrring. That’s how all of my experiences with the medical profession ever end up. I’m so bored. This is booorrring. I’m sure it’s the same for anyone who deals with the medical profession ever. I’d write more, but I have the flu. The great thing about being sick is that you can pretty much get a free pass on most things by saying, “I’d do it, but….Oh the pain. I see a light.” Seeing as this is my second to last week day with the flu... OH THE PAAAAIIIIINNNNN!!!! I see a LIGHT! I hope you get better 56er. |
| Turns out that I don’t have allergies. Oh no, I have…the FLU. Prompt:If you were supreme ruler of planet Earth for a day, what changes would you make? 1) I’d make a permanent law that I be paid $40 million a year for the rest of my life. 2) I’d sit down with all of the worlds terrorists and dictators feeding them Oreos and milk, while encouraging them to be nice to the good hard-working peoples across the world 3) I’d force Bruno Mars, Chris Pine, and Ryan Gosling to decide, once and for all, which one of them is going to marry me. It had better be one of them, or else. 4) I’d demand that Alaska be made smaller, so that Texas can be the largest state. I, of course, wouldn’t change anything about Texas. Everyone knows you don’t mess with Texas. 5) I’d use nukes to demand that Target, Starbucks, and a High Quality mall move to my small country town. 6) I’d have all of the medical researchers in the world figure out a cure for the common cold. 7) I’d decree that I get cable, internet, wi-fi, and phone for free for the rest of my life. 8) I’d make all the 13-year-olds in the world move to an island, and film a reality show named Lord of the Flies. 9) I’d demand a recount 10) I’d make American Idol have a final show where all of the past idols compete against one another to determine the Ultimate Idol. Then, I’d cancel American Idol and decree that it cannot ever return. 11) I’d enslave JK Rowling and make her write the 8th and 9th Harry Potter books. 12) I’d enslave Suzanne Collins and make her re-write the end of the Hunger Games. The re-write must include: a name for Katniss & Peta’s children and Prim surviving the bomb. 13) I’d move to Versailles and make it my home. 14) I’d declare that the Cyrillic alphabet is not allowed to include characters that don’t make sounds. 15) I’d kick one of those old and boring Justices off the Supreme Court, and have myself appointed (Woot! Job Security) 16) I’d have a serious talk with Tom letting him know that it’s time to get rid of My Space. 17) I’d go on the Price is Right, and outbid everyone by $1 18) For one day only, I’d make all the rich people poor and the poor people rich. 19) I'd burn Ethan Frome and the Book Thief because they're lame and I hate them. 20) I'd have the science teachers across the world admit that science doesn't exist because science is just a complicated explanation for magic 21) I'd have all the Weapons of Mass Destruction destroyed at once, and blame the sound on my friend farting. 22) I'd have Dan Brown re-write the history of the Catholic Church. 23) I'd hire a blog writer to write my blog as I'll be far too busy for common people things. 24) I'd demand a sequel be made for the Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 25) I'd throw the world's largest party, and have all of my guests do a Harlem Shake Video. |
| Before I get into the prompt today, I should admit that the tree pollen count is high in East Texas. As a result, my allergies were killing me so I took a Benadryl. If this post seems a little far from the point and loopy it’s only because the Benadryl’s starting to kick in. PROMPT: All men consider themselves to be smarter than women. That is their great tragedy. All women allow them. That is theirs. What are your opinions on this? Do you think this applies to your life as well? If yes, is it correct? And if not, have you ever seen anybody treated as this In high school, I was taking too many Advanced Placement classes and I ended up having to take regular English one semester to take AP everything else. This should have been a real drag for me, but it was AWESOME. I loved being the smartest kid in the class and doing the least amount of work. I got 100s on everything, and my teacher loved my enthusiasm for English. There’s something to be said for being a shark in a pond. Then Bob showed up. He was in the same boat as me, demoted to regular English for all of the same reasons. He was just as smart and obnoxious as me.So, I hated him. We waged academic war. It was no longer enough for either of us to get 100s. No, we started to compete in bonus points. It wasn’t until prom that I realized he wasn’t competing with me for the thrill of smartness, but he was doing it because he liked me. How stupid. I was only 16, so the real problem wasn’t that Bob liked me. The real problem was that Bob may have been equally intelligent or smarter than me. I couldn’t handle that. Like any good female, I could envision our nerdy future together: Me constantly trying to figure out what grade he got, and then making it my personal business to try and one up him. Me accidentally leaving my graded papers on the desk with the A+++ angled for him to see. Romantic study sessions next to a fire place Me telling him, "Oh I don't care about my grades," but freaking out because he'd done better than me. That’s when I realized, I couldn’t date guys who might be smarter than me. So, I went after the dumb ones. How do you get a dumb one? 16-year-old-me says, “you act dumb.” Of course, this was one of my dumbest plans to date. 1) It’s no fun trying to chat up some guy when you mentally fact-check him all the time. 2) Sometimes I acted a little too dumb, and this gave the guy an over-inflated sense of self. 3) I got sick of everyone else thinking they were smarter than me. At around the same time Bob stopped acting smart. He decided to act cool instead, and dyed his hair blue. Bob became quite the stud muffin, so I gave up my prejudice and dated him for 1 whole week. Being a bad boy worked for him, but ultimately our relationship ended with me saying, “You got WHAT pierced?” My point is that it’s immature to be intimated or change based on a person’s IQ. Any woman who acts dumber to impress a man is loosing out on a chance to date someone who could like her for who she is. This quote applies to my life up to a certain extent. Both sexes can be a little dumb when it comes to attempting to ensnare the other. I’m a smart girl, but if Bruno Mars suddenly walked into my apartment and said, “I think you’re sexy.” I’d act a little dumb because I don’t think I’d be able to get enough blood to flow into my brain. I’d let Bruno think I was dumb to salvage the situation, but even with Bruno Mars there comes a point when I’d have to be honest with him. I’m sure some women act a little dumber to get the man they want, and I’m sure some men act a little dumber to get the woman that they want. But, it’s not all and I’m sure it’s for a variety of different reasons. |
| Give us a serious opinion, analysis, or persuasive opinion of the Oscars, their meaning to you along with the hype, glamour, and actions/comments by celebrities - winners or losers. Quotes from people or articles about the Oscars should be used to support your position. Leave the actual films out of it!" "I'd like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get." -The last words of Donald O’ Connor I hate the Oscars for the simple fact that it is an Award Ceremony. I hate award ceremonies. Actually, I love award ceremonies when I win an award. After I accept my award, I spend the rest of the time agonizing about how much longer until we reach the end. I remember thinking during my college graduation: How many people could have possibly gotten a degree in Psychology? and Am I the only one who never learned the school song? As a result, I often wonder about child actors. It’s bad enough when you’re an adult at an award ceremony, Imagine being a child. You have to sit still in an itchy dress and wait through 24 boring people thanking God of course, Mike from production, Suzanne Smith, Jerry O’Neal, Tatum, the cast, and mom…you are my rock and I couldn’t have done it without you. The only interesting thing about watching an Award Ceremony where I haven’t won an award is reverting to my inner mean girl. It’s great to see everyone spend so much time and money on an outfit, just for me to say, “Oh my gosh, Heidi, did you get dressed in the dark again?” I also like any actor who, “Couldn’t be here this evening,” because it makes me wonder what anyone could possibly be doing that’s better than receiving an OSCAR. . Seriously... None of my favorite movies ever win the Academy Award for Best Picture. Instead, my favorite films always have the Best Actors and Best Supporting Cast Member, while some obscuro boring movie takes Best Picture. I always feel slighted. It's like in Toddlers and Tiaras when the little girl you want to win gets Prettiest Face, and some little girl who wasn't on the show takes home Ultimate Grand Supreme. |
| Prompt for 2/24: Our sense of smell is one of the strongest ways to recall memories. What are some smells that remind you of a person, place, thing, or time? The smell of a new television coming straight out of the box is a smell that I will never forget...My new electronic baby hath arrived with all the bells and whistles that any nerdy gadget girl could possibly want. The picture is so clear and crisp that I think it might be clearer than real life. Wow. Just Wow. OK, I'll focus. Essence of Book When I was in college my best friend and I were in love with a used bookstore named Goldens. In hindsight, it was like any other used book store in the world. The walls were cramped with cheap books, and I couldn't walk down the aisle without my purse knocking something over. There was nowhere to sit and the shop wasn't comfortable. I'll never be able to tell you why, but my friend and I were addicted to this particular used book store. My friend always said that she liked Goldens because it smelled like books. One day while we were in the store, I grabbed the mustiest oldest book I could find and said, "Smell it." She grabbed it like Belle in Beauty in the Beast with a look of happiness and hope in her eyes. Then she smelled it, and her entire face changed. I think she may have started coughing. The book was rank. Now whenever I smell a used bookstore or hear someone say, "I just love the smell of books," I think of musty-book-face and laugh uncontrollably |
| "Electricity is a fairly new invention. Think of 12 things you can do when you don't have power. What's your favorite and why? I would say keep it clean, but look who I am talking to. LOL" GASP...Live without electricity.I don't think I can. 1) Use my microwave to make a Hot Pocket, only to realize that the microwave doesn't work. Therefore, I will walk around my apartment fulfilling my life's dream of eating an entire box of Oreos for dinner 2) Light the candles. The only candles I own are the awesomely super-scented Bath and Body Works candles. As I walk around eating my oreos, my apartment will smell of Japanese Cherry Blossom and Cinnamon Clove. Mmmmm. 3) Pour a glass of wine. Wait...I'm not that classy. Have a shot of Tequilla. 4) Have 3 shots of Tequilla The Result: Me using what little battery is left on my phone to watch water balloons pop in slow motion. (Because that is what I do when I'm drunk.) 5) Sit in the dark and cry. Why is this happening to me? I can't survive without Netflix! I ate all my oreos! 6) Open my laptop and pretend like it's working. 7) Write a letter to my local Congressman. Who is my Congressman? I'll have to use google. I used all my cell phone battery? I can't use google! ::Insert cuss word here:: 8) Read a book. Except, I don't own real books because I have a Nook. My Nook is probably dead. Scavenge for books in my apartment. Find only one book. The bible. 9) Clean. Not because I like to clean, but because there's nothing else to do 10) Write letters to Bruno Mars, Chris Pine, and Ryan Gosling asking them to marry me. 11) Say, "I'm so bored. This sucks" over and over again. 12) After a rough and eventful day, go to sleep. My favorite part of my plans is the Oreos. |
| It is said that we all have a child inside us. Write about what the child inside you asks for. Whether that child is still living or is suffocated in the whole hustle-bustle of life? The true problem with my life is that my inner child is given far too much say. During my lunch break, I went to Family Dollar to purchase a box of Cheese-Its because I was having a major Cheese-It Emergency. My inner-child is captain of all my impulse shopping buys, and solely responsible for the recent unnecessary acquisition of my brand new television. Yes, my inner child is a greedy and over-indulged spoiled brat. There is a constant compromise between my inner-child and inner adult. If I eat a large bag of Twizzlers then later in the day I'll eat a large bag of grapes. If I go see a movie every weekend, then I'll use the change machine for money to do my laundry. If I rent a movie, then I can not buy a pizza. Sometimes, these compromises work. However, when the compromise fails it's only because my inner-child has gotten her way AGAIN. Instead of fighting my childish nature, I have accepted this little-kid version of me into my adult life. The reward is a refrigerator stocked full of candy, it being common knowledge that I can not be trusted around an open box of cookies, and that I will giggle at absolutely every joke that begins with,"Knock, Knock." For better or worse, my-inner brat is here to stay. |
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