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I’d rather write than talk. Nobody interrupts! Posting monthly or less now--see below. |
My original purpose for this blog, which I started in August of 2019, was to see if I could maintain consistency, to discover what I want to write about, and to find my writing voice. In January, I started a "niche-less" blog at Wordpress.com where I've published weekly. -- Kit’s Kontemplations  . -- I'm preparing to start a Catholic blog on Wordpress.com where I'll post weekly, and another site to put the rest of my writing. I also want to spend more time reading other blogs and offering thoughtful comments, both here on WDC and elsewhere. At most, I will publish once a month at no set time in this blog starting in September of 2020. Thank you to those who have read and rated any posts on this blog. I really appreciate it. I did NOT want to write “about” me on this blog. I wanted to share my interests, discoveries and maybe a few useful insights. If anything I've written helps even one person, whether or not they respond to the post, then this blog has been successful. |
| Goals are only useful to point us in the desired direction; they don’t get us to our destination. Though useful as a first step, they have some serious deficiencies. Having a goal does not determine success.. In any competition, whether it’s for a job, American Idols or a boxing match, each competitor has the same goal, but only one achieves it. So having a goal, in and of itself, is not enough. There is something, or perhaps many things that the winner did differently, things no one else witnessed; they had a system of habits in place that gained them greater skill or prepared them in other ways. Goals create a yo-yo effect with motivation and discipline. What do most people do after the competition is over? The athlete stops training after his team or the other one wins the cup, at least until season training re-commences. The author stops writing after sending her novel to the publisher, at least for a while. Can you think of other examples of this dynamic? Goals force us into either/or thinking. We eitther met our goal or we didn’t. There’s no in-between. There’s no recognition of what we gained in the process of striving to reach or goal which would certainly include discipline and either a new or increased skill. We put off “happiness” while striving for our goal We say to ourselves: “I’ll be happy when I achieve ___ ... and there’s always another ____ to achieve. Or we say “I can relax when I finally ____.” Do we keep that promise to ourselves or do we move on to the next carrot that culture dangles before our eyes? You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.—James Clear By “systems”, James refers to the collection of habits and practices that work together to put us in a position to be successful over a period of time. We can choose to be happy every time we do a small thing that brings us in the direction of our goal. We can choose to focus on the process rather than to fixate on the result. Someone who loses a significant amount of weight knows this by experience. Every choice she makes related to her health “casts a vote” for improved health, or further deterioration. Every muffin she turns down, every glass of water she drinks, every physical activity she does can be an immediate source of happiness and satisfaction. Her “goal” may be to achieve a certain weight or to shrink to a size 10 but happiness need not be deferred until then. Reflect  Do you have a goal that dominates much of your attention? Have you outlined the habits you need to develop or the steps you need to take? Are you aware of and willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve your desire? |
| Our behaviour is governed by the underlying structures in our lives. Like the waters of a river, energy moves in the direction where it is easiest for it to go – along the path of least resistance. In his book, The Path of Least Resistance , Robert Fritz describes the difference between the underlying structures that are part of a problem-solving orientation and those which exist in the creative orientation. He discusses the patterns of thought and behaviour that result from each of these two orientations. The three phases of the creative orientation described with depth and insight are: germination, assimilation and completion. Included in the discussion of the creative process is a clear description of the differences between fundamental, primary and secondary choices which shape our lives and drive our behaviour. The author also outlines that which hinders the creative process. In describing the germination and assimilation phases of the creative process, the author stresses the importance of choosing a result and not a process. The process needs to develop naturally and intuitively through experimentation and assimilation. Success in each step generates momentum and energy which leads with increasing effectiveness to the creator’s consciously chosen and clearly envisioned result. While discussing “strategic moments” which occur during the creative process, the author examines the impact of the meaning we attach to results. How we define the relationship between the actions we’ve taken and the results we observe (taking into account the inevitable time delay) affects our future actions and momentum as we move through this process from assimilation toward completion. During his discussion of strategic moments, the author outlines the steps of what he calls “pivotal technique”: — Describe where you are (present reality with no denial or minimizing) — Describe where you want to be (clearly enough to recognize it when achieved) — Formally choose the result you want (say it aloud or write it down) — Move on (change your focus to a completely unrelated activity) In describing the completion phase of the creative process, the author stresses the importance of mastering the skill of critical judgement. We need to acknowledge our creation and compare it to our original vision of it. Determining that the result is “complete” and accurately reflects what we envisioned releases a fresh energy. This energy begins the germination stage of our next “creation”. Our natural instincts, desires and tendencies are toward creating and life can be a series of creative acts that lead to other creative acts. The author summarizes by saying: “In the creative orientation, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual dimensions of your being realign and work in harmony, leading to the fulfillment of your deepest individual life purpose.” |
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain. —William Faulkner Having nothing, knowing nothing, feeling nothing is to be nothing. It is to be dead, a robot or something less than human. To exist with no thoughts, no heart, no awareness, no soul is to lack the capacity for joy, excitement, passion – or pain. Kahlil Gibran wrote in The Prophet in the chapter about joy and sorrow: The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Few of life’s most profitable lessons come without mental anguish, emotional suffering or physical pain. Most of us require pain of varying degrees to arrest our attention as we hurtle down the road to self-destruction. Some of us slow down enough to notice another path. A few of us veer off that road to explore an alternative path. The pain of loss, remorse and humiliation has brought many addicts to their senses, providing the courage and willingness to take the path leading to healing, growth and restoration of health and sanity. The pain and terror accompanying a terminal illness has motivated many to bury resentment, embrace forgiveness and experience renewed joy in previously difficult intimate relationships. Some facing incredible suffering reject God entirely and others seek Him out. A severe depression in my early thirties made me aware I needed therapy as well as medication. With help and support, I examined the attitudes and perceptions that drove my behavior. I discovered the root of my food addiction, my work addiction and compulsive spending. None of these “comfort measures” worked to eliminate the inner pain and emptiness from which I was trying to hide. I changed the way I spoke to myself. I forgave myself for not being and doing what I believed I was supposed to be and to do. I repeated these words of forgiveness like a mantra prayer for months until I experienced healing in my emotions. Memories that were once like a brand seemed to belong to someone else. I opened my mind to new ideas; I am not a disappointment to God and my worth as a human being does not depend on doing as much as possible perfectly. I tried things I remembered enjoying as a child. I played with crayons, pastels and clay. I still can’t stay within the lines when I color and that’s OK with me now. In the five years that followed my breakdown, I learned how to let myself feel my emotions. I started to notice my body and give it loving attention, especially guilt-free afternoon naps. Self-help books, 12-step groups, counseling and spiritual direction were some of the tools I used to build a new interior life with God as Guide and Healer. I am no longer terrified of my emotions; I can face them and feel them. I don’t have to hide them under chocolate bars, with romance novels or excessive activity and reckless spending. I am now in my sixties. I love the woman who greets me in the mirror each morning. I don’t need make-up, long fingernails or fashionable outfits to feel good. If the number on the scale is a bit high, I just shrug and do a quick self-check on whether I’ve been drinking enough water and exercising, or if I ate out more often than usual. I decide on corrective action and follow through with no negative “self-talk”. I live a balanced and disciplined life but don’t practice my self-care or spiritual disciplines perfectly all the time. Some weeks are better than others. That’s OK with me because I’m OK with me. If I neglect any of them for long, I feel the “pain” of an imbalance within and I get back on track. This discomfort keeps me on the path I’ve chosen and my life works. Pain pointed me in a new direction. I’m grateful for what my suffering has taught me. I don’t run from the pains that continue to refine me. I am well on the way to becoming the woman I was created to be. Bumps on the road won’t crash me. My shock-absorbers are in excellent working order. Reflection: What is your usual response to suffering? Does this approach actually help or does it wreak further havoc in your life? Do you see any value to suffering, or do you believe it must be avoided no matter what? Who, or what do you blame for the biggest suffering that you have experienced? |
| When something happens, we know the “what” and the “where”. Scientific and forensic research can often determine the when and the how. This leaves the “who” and the “why”. In the case of crimes, we may also determine the “who” which will achieve justice. Without an answer to the “why”, we remain unsatisfied. If we could teleport a toaster to an alien planet, they would know when and where it appeared. If they were sufficiently advanced, they might accurately determine how it arrived and what it was made of but they would have no idea who sent it, why it was sent or even what its function was. How likely is it that these aliens would assume the toaster resulted from a random chain of events? Would they not assume some intelligent being conceived the idea and assembled it? Intuitively they would know that the only way to be certain of its purpose would be to ask its creator. If something as basic as a toaster shows clear evidence of design by an intelligent creator, logically something as complex as a human being must have also been the result of a super-intelligent being. This being is the only one who can tell us why we were created. Those who, like Carl Sagan, believe in a closed universe, that “the cosmos is all there was, all there is and all there ever will be” expect that science can satisfy all our curiosity. Although the things we have passion for can contribute subjective meaning to our lives, determining the objective meaning of our lives is impossible unless this is revealed by the being who created us. When I first attempted to read Dante’s epic poem The Divine Comedy, I was able to understand parts of it but much of it mystified me. I didn’t know anything about the people and events mentioned. I had a similar experience trying to read Homer’s Illiad. Reading commentaries can only be useful if you trust that their authors based them on accurate and reliable information. After all, Homer and Dante died centuries ago, spoke a different language and came from vastly different cultures. When you read a mystery novel or watch a crime show long enough to find out “who did it”, do you put the book down or switch channels before finding out why they did it? If the book or the show doesn’t give that answer, would you bother reading any other novels by that author or watching any other episodes of that crime show? We want to know more than what, when, where and how. We want to know “who” and “why”. Contrary to popular opinion, science does not answer all questions. Science cannot fully satisfy even a three-year-old whose favourite word is “why”. Source Chapter 1 of Thinking?: Answering Life’s Five Biggest Questions |
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Yes, I know some people do that but I'm a creative writer not a journalist. Poetry sells ... but it's a money-maker for only a few. I write A LOT. Almost 180 pieces since Spring equinox. My goal is 300-400 per year. One year I went over 1,000. I need to do more editing, polishing, sharing, submitting. Writer's block? Who has time for that? I don't.