%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |   Life is rough...I have to write it out. |
|
I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I guess it is a good thing I didn't actually hold my breath. |
The Sunday News! On Sunday, the circus elephants of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus will perform in New York City for the last time (here's a New York Times pictorial about it). Should events like the circus, which use trained animals in some acts, be considered cruelty to animals? What about other forms of entertainment that may feature live animals? I had an enormous post written about something. And then like the smart girl I claim to be, I forgot to get back on and post before I passed the fuck out. Now all that ire doesn’t fit quite right with today so …. … on to the real stuff right?!?! Elephants and their inability to use their safe words with good ole’ Charles and P.T. I mean….I don’t know about you but when I scream out PEANUTS the whipping usually stops. Maybe they need a better contract lawyer. I am quite….hypocritical on this. I hate the treatment of animals in more venues than just the circus. But I also go to the circus every year in December. Ringling Brothers even. I love the circus. I love so very much about the circus. I take stands. I withdraw my patronage. I will continue to go to the circus. I can’t help it, I just will. You know what else really frosts my tips? The treatment of the penguins at the zoo. I mean come on. It is like putting some dry ice in my bathroom, twenty penguins in my bathtub, and calling it the Arctic. Now to round out this penguin talk with a little bit of skeason…..jump to the 45 second mark and watch this fucker eat his fish! [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] |
Creation Saturday! Pick a movie and give it an ending you'd much rather watch. An aged immigrant kneels beside a woman covered in blood. Men carrying guns run from door to door attempting to enter a room draped in an obscenely baroque display of wealth which betrays the origin of the owner. The cockroach of a man, unsure which path of action to take, looks around the snow capped room and arms himself…… Suddenly the door bursts open and automatic gunfire rings out. Miraculously untouched by a bullet, the immigrant throws down his gun and yells, “Say hello to my little friends.” From behind the snowy desk hundreds of highly trained penguin double agents begin to waddle out. Having been worked into a frenzy by playing in the snow, they launch an assault upon the men, leaving no one alive, not even the immigrant. A voice rings out from the back of the room, “No more cute and cuddly boys, grab the yeyo.” “The world is ours!” they scream. Post-post edit: Uhhhh who among us can fucking believe I used Scarface without a single goddamn crude word? And to top it off....the fact that I am just now realizing it? Oh my god....some sort of miracle and shit. |
Fun Fact Friday! On this day in 1997, US President Bill Clinton barred federal spending on human cloning. Do you have any thoughts on cloning, whether it's animals or people? Would you want to be cloned? Well, well. Fivesixer   and the antagonizing. But I….I….am a person who has extreme self-control. I can laugh things off; I can let things go…that’s how I roll. So, on to the prompt.I wouldn’t want to be cloned; you wouldn’t want that either, I am an asshole. HOWEVER, I am all for cloning because…becauuuuuuuuse…I would, in a heartbeat, clone a penguin. I would create a Rhythm Nation full of Mumbles because I don’t know about you but I have never met a penguin that didn’t have some happy fucking feet (Except for Aunt Arctica; man that bitch can give some good cold shoulder.) And I’m not being The Joker here, I Wish that someone would Tell Me Something Good…you know…like they have a rookery of chicks on every iceberg ready to Hit Me Up, Jump N’ Move, then Do It Again. If I had My Way, there would be a constant Boogie Wonderland of flippers and tuxedo laden asses waddling to The Song of the Heart. And when we got tired we’d go swimming at the South Pool and have some drinks on the rocks. Maybe listen to some Seal, even though everyone knows that penguins’ favorite music is sole. I hope we run into Ramon and the Amigos though, cuz I’m throwing down West Side Story style. Who wants to stand behind me and snap? |
The Wildcard Round! The blogger with my favorite of today's entries will win a Word Economy Merit Badge! Do you have a favorite quote about writing? Tell us about it. Here are some examples ; you're more than welcome to pick from any of these or find another one, of course. I have a few favorites. “To survive, you must tell stories.” (Umberto Eco) and “Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” (William Wordsworth) Both of those speak to the fact that to live I must put something on paper. Something. Thoughts. Poems. Stories. This blog. Sometimes….no, many times….I will find a sheet of paper that has the breathings of my heart doodled all over it, “Fuck it.” Or “Fuck everything.” And very popular….”Fuck everyone.” But my favorite has to be “Write hard and clear about what hurts.” (Ernest Hemingway) I like it for a great many reasons. I can be pretty clear  , and definitely kinda hard when I write. But I think we’d all agree that those two qualities are minimal within me. Oh man, did you see how green the sky was today?Everything I write is from something that hurts. All. The. Things. Almost all my feelings are some variation of hurt and pain. Even my version of happiness…that shit is painful. In fact, fuck happy. It is like chasing the dragon and shit. And in a typical morbid twist, I love it because he killed himself. (Shhh! Keep your death misdiagnosis theory support to yourself…it ruins everything.) An addict wrote hard and clear about what hurts, and in my fairy tale version, he writes out all that hurt…an immeasurable amount…and having no pain left to relax in…he ends it all. And that fucking shit is great. |
If we didn't have our priorities, we'd have... I don’t know what YOU would do or what the collective WE would do. Fuck, the WE as a collective do not even have any shared priorities anyway. But I do know what I would do. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….fun. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….an even bigger drug habit. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….a divorce lawyer. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….sold my children to gypsies. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….full body tattoos and piercings. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….burnt this place to the ground. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have ….a longer criminal record. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have .…an STD. If I didn’t have my priorities, I’d have .…peace. |
| Ugh. Life. It really fucking sucks. First though – Thank you everyone for wondering where I was. That’s nice to know….because I missed you guys too.  I did log on once in February just as sleuthy Elle - on hiatus  noticed, but it wasn’t meant to be apparently. Normally I’d vomit my despair all over everyone’s shoes (as some of you know) but not this time. Ohhhhh noooooo….I’m gonna throw my own March Madness and let it out a little at a time. Pepper my blog entries with what can only be called insane lucidity. It has been four months since I was active on WDC. I have not written a single word about anything in the time between then and this blog entry. Not a thing. It just wasn’t in me I guess. Who the fuck knows. I certainly don’t. My life became a slippery slope on which I couldn’t retain my footing. Who knew that at the very very very bottom was the urge to write again.
Tell us about the last book you've read or are currently reading. Would you recommend it? It is safe to assume that if I had no desire to write, that I had no desire to read. Second grade doesn’t give a shit about my desires though. The last book I read was: National Geographic Kids Penguins. Did I enjoy it? Ehhh. Sure. It was okay considering it was only the seventh fucking penguin book we have read in two weeks, and our eleventh this year!!!! So, okay, whooo hooo penguins. Granted, Kid A now uses the word rookery, but still. I’m getting pretty damn sick of reading about daddy penguins keeping their egg warm for four months and instantly thinking of March of the Penguins and the one who loses his egg – one of the saddest fucking things ever. EVER. Ranks right up there with My Dog Skip and shit. Would I recommend it? Yeah, sure. Want to read a shitton of information regarding penguins crammed into a 20 page book geared toward elementary students? This is definitely for you. Have you had a bad day? Get ready to laugh your ass off at the jokes at the top of the pages, geared toward the same group. For example: What does a penguin order at a fast food restaurant? An iceburger. Tonight we begin yet another goddamn Magic Tree House book. We hate those. They are filled with all the types of kids we hate. It’s the Magic Tree House for Assholes. Okay, okay, not ALL of them, but I don’t care how ANY of them are going to deal with a polar bear. And neither does Kid A…so…complaint free reading time is on the agenda tonight. Yipee. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
"Imagine you're Cinderella and tell us how you danced at the ball." You know… I used to go out to balls And stand around ‘Cause I was too nervous To really get down But my body yearned to be free I got up on the floor and found A Prince to choose me People used to tell my sisters that… They could dance if they wanted to They could leave Cinderella behind Cause she don’t dance and if she won’t dance Well, she’s no friend of mine So I decided… No more standin’ along the side walls Now, I’ve got myself together, baby At every single ball. And now… I can dance, I can jive, I have the time of my life See this girl? Watch this scene, dig me the Dancing Queen. |
"How much would not having internet access for an extended period of time impact your life?" Yuck. This is the worst. It happens out here in BFE all of the time. (Wow! I have no idea the last time I heard someone say “BFE”) Out here things chew through your cables. Critters out in my backyard conspiring to cut me off from all the things I do. Fucking animals. Plus it just goes out when it wants to because those of us out here in Crittertown don’t deserve good internet. It would impact our lives a whole fucking lot. We don’t have cable and stream all our television. And trust me when I say we watch some fucking television. We use tablets and phones and computers nonstop. I wouldn’t be able to communicate with any member of the million committees I am on because I am not, NOT answering the phone if it rings. Kid A would clearly wither and die from lack of YouTube videos and Husband A wouldn’t be able to send me all the dirty pictures of men and women he knows I’d enjoy. We can go a few days....a week....without wanting each other to die but that's about it. After that we all think we all suck. So basically what I am saying is that if/when we go extended periods of time without internet we would read more books, play more games, have more conversations, and longer family meals. We would have moments of pure calm and moments without stimulation. We’d sleep better and interact with the world better. My kids would be more innocent and my husband would both give and receive more attention. But….even knowing all of that…..it fucking sucks. There are a great many times I don't want that much of my family. All I do is inhale air they exhale anyway. |
| Alright. Serious shit for a minute. And when I do what I do and profusely pepper this blog salad with questions….they are real this time. If you have an answer to these questions then for the gods’ sakes….spill your guts. We are experiencing such social heartbreak in our household right now. My poor Kid A. Kid A is amazing. She is strong but fragile. She is kind but sharp. She is intelligent but open. She wants to please and to be liked. She wants to be herself and be liked. She just wants to be carefree. But my sweet little baby can’t catch a break. The old soul she cradles in herself feels and intuits all sorts of shit her seven year old brain can’t wrap itself around. And when her heart is broken my heart is shattered. We are going on a year of some sort of weird separation anxiety which has morphed into a weird generalized anxiety. There are two girls. They do not help the situation at all. But again, they too, are seven years old. I have tried desperately to find a way to make her understand that they aren’t necessarily good friends. No dice. So we deal. We deal and we deal and we deal. We deal at home, we deal at school, and we deal in public. The second grade is a hotbed of sexual and religious talk right now. I have and will continue to deal with these topics at home as they come up. It has never occurred to me to contact anyone about any of it. My kid, my job. I don’t have many friends….I like it that way….but I have had best friends before (I’m not THAT awful) and I know how that relationship works. Kid A and BFF A...they talk to each other about stuff more than they talk to other kids about stuff. Not just sexual and religious stuff….though they do that as well. I believe I have probably made it pretty clear in my past entries, but if not I am always happy to say it again. I answer Kid A’s sex questions. I answer Kid A’s religion questions. At age four and five I had a rule that I answered on the third time because if a four year old is going to wonder something philosophical over the course of a week then she really does want to know and she deserves an answer. But not now. Now if she has a question I answer it. Quick and short and to the point. If she needs further clarification she asks. Sex, religion, etc are not taboo subjects in my house and informational conversations are had in a very….comfortable, “not our first rodeo” type of way. Kid A also knows not to tell other kids. Does she? I don’t know. Possibly. Please take a moment though and tell me which is better….my child saying …..fuck I have no idea what Kid A could be saying that she learns here at home. That you call that a penis? That you call that a vagina? That heterosexual sex means one goes inside the other? Which is better? That or the little boy who is telling kids to search “dirty penis” on YouTube to see one in a girl’s mouth? Kid A or the boy saying that “if you cum on a girl you don’t have to clean it up yourself.”? Anyway, the entire second grade student body is buzzing with this shit. Not just Kid A and BFF A. BFF A’s mom has decided she is in a position to bulldoze and intimidate me. She doesn’t know me that well, but she is learning that is not how I roll. My kid is NOT under any circumstances the originator of the stories going around. Do you want to know how I can be absolutely positive of this? Because I have had to explain these stories to her. That means…..wait for it…..someone else told her. Anyway, BFF A is no longer allowed to be Kid A’s friend. BFF A has instead decided to use this against Kid A. In the mornings she tells Kid A that she doesn’t care what her mom says, she wants to be Kid A’s friend. As soon as Kid A does something that BFF A doesn’t approve of, BFF A suddenly agrees with her mother and can no longer be Kid A’s friend. I get it – seven year olds. But this is really really rough on Kid A. In fact, I have never seen her so….changed by something. And so…it is changing everything. I can’t even tell you the thousands of things I have tried saying to her. The hundreds of things I have tried to implement. I don’t even want to try – talk about depressing. Hey skeason…wanna list your failures to this point? No, not so much. However, rest assured, chances are I have tried it. I have spoken with professionals….other mothers….really all kinds of anyone. BUT…..and here they come….try not sneeze from all of it…. What the fuck do you say to a seven year old to make her understand that some people suck dirty ass? What do you say when she cries and says that no matter I say she is going to continue to tell this little bitch that she looks pretty or her dress is beautiful in case she will change her mind? How do I get her to understand that blaming things on her when in trouble is a really shitty friend thing to do and she shouldn’t give two fucks what this little girl wants? HOW DOES A SEVEN YEAR OLD COMPREHEND THAT HER BEST FRIEND ISN’T ANYMORE? Especially over nothing, wrongful blame. How do I get her to tell BFF A in the morning that she doesn’t care if she wants to be friends for “just right now”? How do I make this okay for a little girl who is being punished for something she didn’t do and has lost one of the two friends she felt like she had? What the fuck do you say when any answer you give will cause more worry? Ugh.
Music Monday! What's your go-to, adrenaline rush, good mood music? There is no question….when I want to be in a god mood and happy I need a little Hall and Oates and some Al Green. And I have to answer the question like that because I don’t really do the “get-up and go” thing. I am a very inactive person. Very. So adrenaline rushes don’t come very often…and when they do it is not because I have induced one. Ahhh man Let’s Stay Together makes me happier than fried chicken. And I would have Husband A sleepin’ with the fishes anytime for some fried chicken. Al, Al, Al. As soon as I get my time machine baby…I’m on my way. And Hall & Oates. Well, they are Hall & Oates and they, well, they are Hall & Oates. There isn’t much about some Hall & Oates I don’t love, that doesn’t make me happy. These two are my go-to’s. They are always available to me at any time. And if I did karaoke then I’d be dropping mics right and left. |
Day 1 Prompt: Come up with a fake news headline...something you'd see in a checkout line tabloid at the grocery store. Convince us that it's something we should believe. Arizona Coyote Masters Entrapment Arizona Highway Patrol is feeling quite satisfied tonight. They have much to celebrate; one of their senior officers brought in a long-sought after fugitive yesterday afternoon. R. Runner has evaded the AHP’s capture for over 66 years using his immense speed and ability to obscure his path with great amounts of dust. Highway Patrol officers have launched many operations over the years to snare Runner but each time he manages to avoid the trap and leave officers at square one. Officer W.E. Coyote, being quite wily himself, devised a simple ruse that finally allowed them to bring Runner in. Having been injured himself many times while chasing Runner, Officer Coyote had a personal stake in this final push to catch the fugitive and decided to use a trick Runner had used on them in the past. A simple net trap was set up at the edge of a rock and the drop was disguised with an illusion Officer Coyote had created which made it seem like the road continued. After successfully being tricked by the illusion Runner fell into the net and was brought into the station for further questioning. Reports from the scene state Runner was not injured and was overheard yelling about being set up and litigation. Witnesses quote him as saying, “meep, meep,” and “meep, meep.” |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
No judgement!! Welcome back!!
