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 |   Life is rough...I have to write it out. |
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I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I guess it is a good thing I didn't actually hold my breath. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So today I get to do a chain. A massive musical hard on chain. I need that .gif that Fivesixer   used. But I am not a boner stealer. Anyway – every single song in this chain – the covers and the originals are juicy and full. They bounce pleasure waves off the inside of my skull and force my ever frowning face to smile. A smile that contains the thoughts that even I do not articulate to myself….I just know I am pleased. It starts with Solomon who funked up some Otis. (And ohhhh shit….wanna hear some bone breaking Solomon? Go listen to None of Us Are Free…but do it loudly.) [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Who did a killer cover of Sam. I mean ….he puts the Otis on that shit. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Who did a better version of Helen. When he hums….fuck you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNukTzGaNRE (I linked that one because of the embed limit but don’t skip it…if you got to the bottom then go listen to that fool hum.) And it all ends with a very pleased skeason and a very annoyed Kid A. |
Day Two: OK. Time to get serious. Tell us your opinion and how you escape age's affect on you - physical, mental, perception. By the latter I mean how others expect you to act because of your age. Can the fun-loving kid in you still get out or can you control your inner child. Or talk about staying healthy in hopes of living longer, better I know this mean ass little bitch, Who longs to always be free. And her evil will jerk and twitch, If I keep her inside of me. Maybe she’s 9, possibly 8, But she acts much older than that. Filled to the top with spiteful hate, She’s nothing but a brat. She’s very tricky and lies a lot, And so sometimes she gets loose. She’ll eat your food and smoke your pot, And don’t let her near your booze. But without this child things would suck, And I would never just play. We laugh cuz she doesn’t give a fuck, And what she thinks is what she’ll say. Because of her I dance and jump, We’re complicit in deceit. Little skeason’s fun and I’m the grump, She makes my ‘self’ complete.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Oh Judy. Judy Judy Judy. Today you allow me to do a triple thing….and it is making me so happy. So. If you don’t like the song Over the Rainbow then you stink. Okay….maybe not. You don’t have to like it. I think it depends on the role The Wizard of Oz played in your childhood. The Ohio Players, who actually have one of six original members still living, did a good cover. Plus they are the Ohio Players. So, come on. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] And clearly we know this is a Judy Garland song. But it’s not my favorite Judy Garland song. Not by a mile. That would be The Trolley Song…but back to the point. And though this is a cover challenge... not a sample challenge….I simply gotta talk about the best version of Over the Rainbow to exist in all of time and space. Though it pleases you for but a brief moment, it just changes everything. My recommendation is to skip to 2:55 because the rest of this particular song blows. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] I FULLY EXPECT the leprechaun at the end of that fucking rainbow to say, “Hey Dirty… baby I got your money.” |
Day One: Let's start with something easy to get you in the mood of escaping. Tell us how you escape distractions to be able to write? Explain the most annoying ones and the schemes you use. If this is too easy, maybe you can relate it creatively. Wait. What? People escape their distractions? Someone needs to teach me that trick. I guess I just power through. I put my family on auto-pilot (it's that strong parenting thing) and write. I can write while I answer questions like; "Where are my panties?" and "Did Kid B just eat THAT?" I can write while I stir whatever is on the stove. I can write while I pretend to watch either kid thinking they are hilarious in the bathtub. I can write while explaining to Husband A that I know more about The Boxtrolls than he does because i watch it three times a day, every day. In fact....even if I am writing I will still yell out my favorite lines along with the show. Lorrrrd Portley-Riiiiiiinnnnnnnnndddddd. Plus I now call Kid A "Archibald Snatcher" purely to piss her off (again..feel my muscles...they are rock hard from all that parenting.) My mind is always writing. I live in an eternal state of over stimulated writer's cramp. So my life is the distraction. But I can't turn that off so I just let it play in the background for a bit. I can definitely tell when I have switched Husband A from auto-pilot to ignore though. But I don’t think either of us give a shit. I suppose you could also count the alteration of my state of mind. But that only comes when the real distractions have gone to bed. I guess the truth is that I don't escape my distractions because without them I probably wouldn't write. Not just Husband A and Kids AB. But even pre-til death do us part...life's distractions. They drive me to write. They drive me to create. They are what I leave on the table when I get DONE writing. You are what you eat. Oh no...that's not it. You write who you are. And who are we without our distractions? Boring to say the least.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well..another person that ALWAYS makes any list of mine is Frank Sinatra. And I am relatively sure I have shared one, possibly two, Sammy songs before as well. But no apologies. If you are Frank, Sammy, or Elvis then you deserve to make every list. And since I love Frank, I love Sammy, and I love doing things my way.......... [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] I have to link em both because in this instance, Frank slightly edges out Sammy. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] The line; "Regrets, I've had a few; but then again, too few to mention"...man that line makes the song. And the solidity of Frank's voice makes it all seem true. Universally true. Frank is singing about Frank. Frank is singing about me. Frank is singing about you. And might I add....I was the strangest little girl and sported a massive crush for Sammy Davis Jr when I was about....say....ten or eleven. And I stroked that crush until it too solidified. |
PROMPT FOR SATURDAY AND SUNDAY. Let's try this... Write a blog entry for Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday, write about a current event of issue you are strongly in favor of. Then on Sunday, pick a fellow blogger's topic from Saturday, and write your opinion on their topic. Well…..hmmmm. I am absolutely not feeling very responsive today. In fact…more of a closed off thing is going down over here. And therefore I am going to cheat. I am going to choose to comment on Fivesixer ’s entry because…..well….because I have no opinion on the Mets. I have no opinion on baseball. I like baseball. I watch baseball. I know the rules of baseball and can keep a scorebook. BUT…I have no opinion on the Mets. I am happy for him that the Mets are playing while it’s starting to snow, but it isn’t changing anything for me. Right now the score is 4-0 Mets though so …I dunno….Yea Rah Sis Boom Bah. HOWEVER! He used that fucking amazing .gif. And he could have written an entire treatise on why we should support the mutilation of children and I would have still loved it because of that .gif. In fact, the fucking thing itself describes how I feel about the thing itself. I couldn’t get my ass behind last week’s mini challenge. For some reason it was too similar to the week before and I felt all duplicative. I tried. All that I could rub out were modified versions of the previous week’s fun. I am chomping at the bit to do this week’s though…like the addict I am. Got the 30DBC DTs and shit.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Johnny Cash rocks my socks in the same way that Elvis does. There are a great many reasons that support disliking both or either, but I don’t. I can’t. I am having one of those days where I WISH I could get a little universal redemption because karma is kicking my ass right now. Not being naïve or anything….karma works within the law of threes and so we all know I am going to have some serious down periods coming to me. Doesn’t mean it is fun. And so again I choose a song that I enjoy both the cover and the original, though that will end soon I am sure. The well that holds my love of covers doesn’t run that deep. I will be lucky to bring that fucking bucket back up fifteen times. I love this song. I love it. Your history is NOT my history. “None but ourselves can free our minds.” Last albums. Deaths. Freedom. Not to mention….what about a cry for freedom (of any sort) doesn’t reach right down inside some part of everyone? And this is my favorite cover of the song (don’t anybody bring up Rihanna): [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] I can’t bring myself to link to the Marley version because if you don’t know that one then next time I light one up it can be in his AND your honor. |
PROMPT FOR SATURDAY AND SUNDAY. Let's try this... Write a blog entry for Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday, write about a current event of issue you are strongly in favor of. Then on Sunday, pick a fellow blogger's topic from Saturday, and write your opinion on their topic. Today at a baby shower I discussed the 35 women who are accusing Bill Cosby of assault being on a magazine cover. This is awesome. Never wallow in the comfortable. If looking at the 35 women who were assaulted by someone makes you squirm in your chair a little then it served the very point it attempted. Nothing gets better in silence. I do not believe we can eradicate rape with the volume of our combined voices but some people do. And for those who do believe this then ….nothing gets better in silence. People are buying tickets to see his shows right now, they are watching reruns of the Cosby Show right now, and believe you me, I don’t land on the Cos’ side here but if I had a mother fucking pudding pop I’d be enjoying it right now. A man who has portrayed himself in one way, publicly, for so many years has lied to us. So what? I portray, I lie, and I can show you my fake mustache. I have never really understood the celebrity role model thing. I don’t look up to celebrities. No show has changed my life so much because of the main character that I began to idolize the actor. I guess I just don’t work that way. I do understand that some people do. I understand that some people think of Bill Cosby as a fatherly figure that loomed over their childhood imparting droplets of wisdom in between bad dad jokes. To me he was the guy from the pudding pop commercial who talked to the kids on Kid’s Say the Darndest Things. And my personal favorite was some good ole' Picture Pages. I mean...he was no Commander Mark, but he had that killer pen. Now…to BOTH of us, me and those people who think of him in a more fatherly moral role……look at the magazine. Those are some of the women he drugged and raped. Look at it. This man is a disappointment on a great many levels. Do we think that they were “running lines on the casting couch with the Cos” and he didn’t come through with their big break? Now, they are trying again? Maybe this time, their big break will come out of it. Except they are way past the age of breaking into anything, not to mention the success they earned in their own right, a handful of them in the same industry as Bill Cosby. Sooooooo…no, I do not think that. This is not an entire attention grabbing scheme concocted by women who now spend their days being called grandma, in order to bring down the man who put his dick in their mouth but wouldn’t put their names in the script. It just isn’t. Chalking the testimony (much of it matching) of 46 women up to the price of big dick celebrity is shameful and if you hold that opinion then shame on you. And you know what? Say they are ALL lying. None of it is true. Say we can ignore his foolish testimonies. Then this magazine says just as much about society as it does those women. What a crappy thing that women band together to bring down a man using the one tool they want to be respected for/despite. We get judged by our pussy because we use our pussy. Plain and simple. No that’s not right because I use my pussy all the time and I don’t get judged…I get sticky but not judged. We misuse our pussies and then cry when people say so. Innocent until proven guilty is a wonderful thought. It may have worked in the past, but it really doesn’t any longer. Too many people cry over too many things. We automatically assume Bill Cosby is innocent until proven otherwise yet we assume the women are guilty of lying unless they can prove their innocence. That they should not show their faces until the validity of penetration is procured. Weird. And it doesn’t have to be rape. It doesn’t have to be that we instinctually identify with the hush-hush taboo of the subject before we identify with the reasoning. And as for anyone who says these women are on this magazine for the money. Okay so what? If Bill Cosby is guilty then who cares if they are making a little money for a magazine cover? If Bill Cosby is innocent then who the fuck cares if they are making a little money for a magazine cover? I applaud this decision. Putting the faces to the names. Putting the personalities to the stories. Showing the world what this man MIGHT have done. Doesn’t matter if it is true…yet…he shouldn’t get to hide his accusers.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** When Kid A was about half a year old Husband A went over the road. (He’s a truck driver.) For what turned out to be two years. (Not straight through….six weeks gone six days home, six weeks gone six days home….it’s not as bad as it sounds after fifteen years) As I like to do…I inundate my infant children with things I want them to enjoy. Neither Kid A nor B have followed the desired pattern and have decided they hate Elvis Presley. Me? Oh no. I love me some Elvis. I can’t help it. (it’s just about time to start playing my Elvis Christmas CD…much to my family’s dismay.) When Husband A left he took with him my ability to leave rooms all willy-nilly. So in order to shower I had to bring Kid A into the bathroom in her bouncer and sing. I sang Elvis. Not in an Elvis voice, I can’t – I’ve tried. I sang this: [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Except I sang it this way: You ain’t nothin' but a crybaby, Cryin' all the time, You ain’t nothin' but a crybaby, Cyrin' all the time, Well, You ain’t never gonna stop but that’s okay cuz you’re mine. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It worked. Stick with what works when dealing with someone brand new to living. It’s not an Elvis song though….it is a Willie Mae Thornton song. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] To which I simply say: Get down Big Mama Thornton. |
| Huh. Life is so fucking busy right now I didn't even realize it was my one year anniversary with WDC! Whoo hooo!  |
Day 9 Prompt:Wood - It's everything from food to fuel. It's biggest enemy is plastic. Where would you rather live, in a world without wood, or a world without plastic? This is the easiest question of the whole week. THE WHOLE WEEK. I would live without plastic for one reason only. Doctor Who would not have those fucking stupid sunglasses. Sonic sunglasses. Are you kidding me? What are they doing to me? No plastic. No sonic sunglasses. |
Day 8 Prompt: Water is the most precious of all the elements. We can't live without water. Write a rant or a rave related to water So, Kid A is currently at the tail end of an educational unit on insects. We have hated it beyond measure. Yesterday’s book was about spiders. So this entire opinion I am about to express is based on a single page in a second grade book. However…that is all I am going to base it on because I am absolutely under NO CIRCUMSTANCES looking up any other information on the topic. I want to see no more pictures beyond the one I have already seen and no other information. Water spiders are a thing I didn’t know existed. Maybe you did, keep that shit to yourself. Water spiders are a thing that very well might keep me from entering another non-chlorinated body of water….ever. Maybe they are harmless, keep that shit to yourself. They build a web, a motherfucking web, on the water. Nope. They then fill it with air bubbles and stay the fuck inside until they want to eat something that comes by. What? Are you kidding? This is what I have learned: That when I next go into a natural body of water there will of course be a fucking spider doing the breast stroke inside his self constructed water resistant air bubble concocting a plan and texting his friends. That I will, in no time at all, in fact be surrounded by water spiders (FUCKING WATER SPIDERS) and, having passed out from panic, will be devoured by the only group of water spiders known to man who eat people. AND. AND. And even if there was only the tiniest chance in hell…the tiniest…I would get one in my mouth. IN MY MOUTH. I will not lie. I am purposefully NOT crying right now. I am, however, scratching my skin off. Maybe you have seen a water spider, keep that shit to yourself. Maybe you live somewhere that has an abundance of water spiders, keep that shit to yourself. Perhaps when you were a child you were a ruthless water spider assassin, keep that shit to yourself. Maybe you have experienced a water spider driven trauma…like…say…one followed you around, riding the waves, his iPod dock blasting the theme from Jaws, keep that shit to yourself. Jesus….water spiders. |
Day 7 Prompt: The third element on the list is metal. Robots are made of metal. Let's talk about robots. What, if anything, do robots do for you, to make your life a little bit easier? Are there any tasks you would prefer a robot perform for you? While I know robots have tons of uses in our current everyday life…medical and surgical uses, law enforcement, food preparation….even the Roomba. I don’t employ a ton of robotic things in my everyday life. We utilize technology to its max around my house but….robots are really limited to toys. Like….toy robots. I KNOW that can’t be right. I know there has to be some sort of artificial intelligence usage in my life, there is zero way with all the gadgets and shit we use that what I just said is true. I would really like one to mow my yard (there IS such a thing but I’d prefer an affordable version). I would like a Robot O’Patience to fuck with the dumbed down version of math we call common core because I just show Kid A the real way. The way that doesn’t involve subtraction and an art degree to add 8 and 7. I would also like to have one that gives hand jobs because that is my rheumatoid arthritis’ least favorite thing to do (closely followed by squeezing a spray bottle). And please please can I have a robotic car? Not one of those “coming-soon” cars that drive themselves. No! Like a cross between Kit from Knight Rider and Rosie from the Jetsons. I am gonna need the thing to talk to me. I am gonna need the thing to respond to me. I am gonna need the thing to drive me wherever I want to go. And it is totally gonna need one of those boxes that provide me with anything I desire to eat. Short of all of that, I would be satisfied with one that randomly says Domo Arigato to my visitors (though they be few). I think we all know what his name would be. |
Day 6 Prompt: The second element on the list is earth, let's do this in order then. I've often wondered if we are the only ones, if our planet earth is the only planet which supports intelligent life. Then, it was confirmed in the 'tag line' from the TV series, X Files... We are not alone! Convince me that this is true by describing meeting the people from one of these other planets, while you visited there. Man was I surprised when I recently visited my friend on her home planet. She kept telling me in all her letters that it was very similar to Earth but it just didn’t seem possible until I saw it with my own eyes! As soon as I got off the ship she took me to have a glass of Earthshine and catch up at Cosmic Ray’s…a cute little black hole in the wall. After that we stopped at the gas station for Milky Ways and Orbit gum and then headed to the mall because she needed a new belt from Kirkwood Gap. We jammed to the best songs on the radiogalaxy on the drive there…we even sang some Bonnie Tyler. We headed to the gym to burn some calories on the eclipticals and I noticed that even the girls seemed the same. There were those who thought the universe revolved around them and when we were in the locker room it was evident from the spicules of fire that some girls were experiencing their sidereal periods. To end the night we wanted to relax and get some more Earthshine so we went to see some pole stars. We were only there a few minutes before some perv’s albedo got out of control and he couldn’t stop perturbating so we flew out of there. And while so many things are the same there were definitely two aspects that didn’t agree with my personality. They were so optimistic. They always saw the glass as gibbous. Drove me nuts. And time was soooooo slow, though their Terminator always comes back too. |
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