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| As I do not have internet at home, I only get to write in snippets; in between work tasks; as I sit at my shift from 15:30 to 04:00. I live a bit out of the way, and they want too much for the hook up. Perhaps, in time, I will put out the expense, but not at this moment. So....if anyone goes to read any of my work...especially my "Novella"....please understand that one chapter is not complete until you see an entry for the beginning of the next. If you begin to read a chapter, and there is no further entry below it, it is still a work in progress. That is, until the final chapter, of course. That entry will be finished when I add the word final to the entry title. I hope someone gets interested in my musings at some point. |
| There are times, in my struggles to write, that I feel like it's not worth the effort. Why do I stress myself out, staring at a blank page, if there is nothing to put there. Yes, I have all kinds of stories in my head. Yes, I would love to get them put down to get them out. Yes, I have a decent imagination. But...Argh!!! Then I find a contest, on here, that peaks my interest and gives me an idea. Next thing I know (even though it was frustrating getting the quiet to work on it), I've written a short story out of nothing. I've fallen in love with my characters, and I found them a home. A home that begins within the confines of the page, but with immeasurable room for expansion as they move into the minds of those who read about them. The feeling of accomplishment, the joy of creating, the pride in a job complete....oh, my.....that rush is why I write. I am, ever, so grateful to the good Lord for reminding me of this. |
| As we get older, and time progresses, our bodies start to sag, our skin begins to wrinkle, and we tend to have more weight on us than we should. For many of us, this causes self esteem issues. For others, it becomes a challenge to try to reclaim their youth. Either way, it's not a pleasant place to be. Yet, when you're already there, and your significant other, blatantly, checks someone else out with you standing right in front of him, and you can tell he's doing it, the feeling of inadequacy turns up in volume. It begins to scream so you can no longer push it to the rear and try to look forward. This feeling sucks. |
| The pain that comes from consequences that are the result of things you did when you were young, dumb, and full of cum, is sometimes the most difficult thing to deal with. It doesn't matter if it's been 9 years, or 19 years, the pain still causes you to kick yourself in the ass. It still brings to mind the action that caused you to have to deal with the pain. It still reminds you of who you once were. This reminder isn't always the most pleasant of experiences, and the mental anguish can sometimes be more aggressive than the actual physical pain. Yet, if you stop to realize that the pain is also a result of you getting your life straight and taking action to correct the damage done in your youth, you should also realize that you have grown, matured, and bettered yourself and your life situation. These are good things. They are the things you should focus on rather than becoming remorseful and bitter. |
| I have witnessed many people, in my life, that wake up for their day and groan. They can close their eyes and go right back to sleep. Their bodies don't want to move. Their brains are on sluggish mode, and need a few minutes to "boot up". God, how I envy them. Yes, it's true that, on the days I don't have to go to work, I'm quite capable of going back to sleep and lounging my day away. However, even on those days, it's not a matter of simply groaning, rolling over, and going back to sleep. I have to sit up, take a drink of water, go to the bathroom, pet my dog (who sleeps behind my knees all night), and THEN cuddle back down into the blankets to return to my dreams. I cannot simply roll over and doze back off. And, on days I have to work, it's even worse. I have this internal clock that has no snooze button on the alarm. As long as I know I have to get up for work, I wake up either right on time, or (more oft than not) anywhere between 15 minutes to 1/2 hour early. Once I look at the clock, and I realize I have a little bit more time, I try my damnedest to doze back off, but I think my snooze is broken. Even when I know I have a good 1/2 hour more to sleep, IF I actually manage to doze back off, I'm awake a mere 5 or 6 minutes later. My brain is switched to the on position, and there's no turning it off for, at least, the next 12-15 hours. Everyone around me complains about that ability, because they don't want to get up and move, and they don't understand how I can be like that. But, there are days, like today, that this annoyance serves me well. Not only did I hit the ground, running, straight out of bed but, when I got to the office, things were hectic. Equipment had broke down, loads were running extremely late, and customers had to be notified and mollified. Thank you, Lord, for giving me the ability to multitask and focus in a crisis. And, thank you for getting me through the roughest part of my day. I HOPE to sleep hard when I get home in a few more hours. |
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