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In Vino

by Veritas

Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2140872

You will find Veritas

Because I usually am in Vino

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine.

Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird.

Perhaps it's me who's weird.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Charlie ~

Nov 1, 2020 at 4:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Oh hey, my relationship is similar!

I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.

Charlie ~

Oct 30, 2020 at 7:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I hope NaNo does the trick in distracting you at the very least and healing you at best. I was planning on participating, but I realized I can't concentrate on a single idea for more than an hour.

Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Oct 30, 2020 at 1:35pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Great that you are back.

Moved?

We are going into lockdown here in Missoula but most of the region between Washington and New York resents any suggestion that they should care about others so the numbers soar. Both France and the US have other critical issues as well.

I'm doing NaNo... in my own way. Already started.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Aug 20, 2020 at 3:28pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep, rant. If you were here ... I'd say be prepared to dust and clean. Our summers are that dry. Customers? Many Americans can be rowdy but appreciative after a 'drought'. The French? Place and people. One can guess ... and that's about it.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've found myself in very similar situations and have tried the old "Give them enough rope and they'll ..." But as you note, many folks can't even figure out how to tie a knot! I know that's not really helpful, but at least you can see the situation and have the strength and courage to get through it. Rants are good for the soul.

Veritas

Jul 18, 2020 at 8:58am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just let it go the way some people are able to. After all, I wasn't the first, I won't be the last and what happened was so clouded in alcohol that I can't even tell you concretely if I ever said "No" not that it matters anyway. I went along with it because I thought I was supposed to. Which makes it all worse I guess. I don't know. But I do wish I could just get over it and move on.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jul 13, 2020 at 5:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

But you can come forward here. And that's a plus. Rant as much as you want.

I don't always share some traumas from my past as I don't want to relive them. Some are wrapped with layers of shame and blame I choose not to revisit. Some I've dealt with, found some peace, or just 'forgot'. Some I rant about.

We all heal in different ways. Expressing the rage is one theraputic way.

Much healthier than keeping it all in.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 16, 2020 at 6:13pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes... little community here at WDC.

I'm 'chatty' so I comment alot. Very little commenting in return. Much nicer back-in-the-day.

Yes, amateurs (which is fine, we all need to start somewhere) and those who are not interested in anyone outside their orbit. Very sad; but, I find a similar problem here in Montana ... folks don't reach out. Been here 12 long years. Had more interaction in Tulsa back-in-the-day. Maybe the culture has shifted as well. It's okay to sit behind a screen but not okay to hide behind one. Just my opinion.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I remember odd snippets from KU. It was mostly a positive experience. High school or my first two years of university? A roller-coaster I got off and don't want to get back on. Yes, I should write about it but I'd rather do other things ... anything.

As for leaving WDC. Important to have everything backed up and anything important printed out. You could always just go 'basic' and that would allow you to peek in and comment when the urge hits you.

I barely keep in touch with anyone pre 2010. Sad. I could feel guilty but former friends aren't making much effort either. Nor are new ones. I feel very very isolated.

Kåre Enga in Montana

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I stay because I have nowhere else to go.

I've cut and run in my personal life ... mostly that didn't work out well.

When some writers here went to Open Salon they were very happy. But that closed and WDC is still here. Many drifted off to spacebook. They're still there, kinda... but that place is a mindfield.

I tried years ago to have better connections with local writers but I don't do 'groups' well and frankly ... they did not welcome me. But the group at the open group at the library persists ... if the library were open.

I'm thinking about moving back to the plains. Real people. Real relationships. Real boring.

I have to avoid drama in real life. Drama on-line is bad for me as well. My nerves can't take it.

But where to go?

April 18, 2020 at 2:40am

#981377

On Day 33 There was Objectivism over coffee.

I have once again come to the conclusion that I am either a very nasty person, or I don't like people. Or maybe both. Or maybe I shouldn't be looking at Facebook and CNN.com before I've had coffee. I find I have less and less sympathy for the people who share their sob stories, who ask for advice on the expats in France groups, who complain about their neighbors throwing COVID parties, about the protesters protesting COVID and about the protesters protesting the protesters. I don't have any sympathy for any of them. Just shut up and go back to your holes, eat Doritos and drink beer and fart until you die. None of you matter.

Lately I have been doing some rereading about Objectivism. The philosophy of "I don't have to care about you because I'm too busy caring about myself." At least that is how many people interpret Objectivism. That is kind of how it works, but Objectivism also assumes that people have potential to be their greatest and all people want to work to be their greatest. That's not true. I think that's why I dislike people so much. As my oboe teacher Wayne once said to me, "Some people don't mind being mediocre." It's something that has not only motivated me, but probably traumatized me. But also has a ring of truth. A social activist or someone more benevolent than myself would cite all sorts of social conundrums and constructs as to why these people are beat down into being and staying mediocre and I fully admit it's all true. People are small because we, other people, keep them small. But I still don't care.

At least I can't care anymore.

It's not a new thing for me, it's been developing rapidly over time. Probably has something to do with living in France because the French are very small people. Most of them anyway, I can think of a few examples of not small people, but it's rare.

Anyway, this is all a bit much for 8:30am. I haven't even finished my coffee. I will finish doing my nails and then write. The last of my Amazon order arrived today. A paint by numbers kit. Sounds silly, but it's a lot of fun. Something relaxing to do with Netflix and a glass of wine in the background. Amazon has suspended all service in France. That doesn't really bother me since half the stuff I order never arrives because I don't know... the postman and delivery trucks can't find the main road that is clearly marked that I live on... I guess. And then rather than dropping it off at the post office near me, they take it to Avignon or Nimes. Because I'm going to drive 40 minutes to pick up a package that I ordered to be delivered to my house. I usually let it languish two weeks, let the post office return it, and then order it again. Sometimes it arrives, sometimes it doesn't. Refunds are constantly dropping in my bank account.

You'd think Amazon might try and work something out with the delivery people in Provence, because I can't be the only one this happens to regularly.

Edited to add: The problem is that I'm lonely. My husband, whom I love, doesn't really talk to me. My work-friends in Paris are not as intelligent as I am - that's not a bash on them but I can't really discuss anything with them and I have to even be careful about what I say much of the time because they won't understand and often misinterpret my point. Other friends I've made in France, while kind and talented people are so set in their ways it's hard to talk to them. I wish I had a writing group that talked about writing and books and random things. My Nano group is nice but they don't really talk about anything but NaNo.

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