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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2156493-The-Book-of-Masks-Homepage/month/10-1-2020
by Seuzz
Rated: 18+ · Book · Other · #2156493
A hub for the "Book of Masks" universe.
The Interactives
"The Book of Masks: A high school student discovers a grimoire that can make magical disguises.
"The Wandering Stars: Sequel to "The Book of Masks."
"Student Bodies: A high school student is turned into a blue goo that can possess people.

For non-WdC Members
"The Book of Masks: Archives: Dodges the "Servers Busy" barrier!
"The Book of Masks (Abridged): Introductory storylines for new readers.

Community
"BoM/TWS Message Forum: Community for readers of the interactives.
"BoM/TWS/SB Wiki: Notes and documentation for authors. Spoilers!

Current Polls
None

The Latest
4/25: Interactive: "The Emerging Backstory
4/25: Public: "The Emerging Backstory
October 30, 2020 at 1:27pm
October 30, 2020 at 1:27pm
#997170
Today's post completes the linking chapters I needed to write before reaching the commission proper. I haven't finished writing the commission, but I've written most of it and I've outlined the rest, so I'll start the story proper tomorrow.

You can probably guess from today's chapter what kind of a story it's going to be.

Interactive: "Cursed!
Public: "Cursed!
October 29, 2020 at 1:36pm
October 29, 2020 at 1:36pm
#997090
Today's posting looks like a two-fer, but it's actually a one-and-a-fifther. The day's chapter should have ended with a lot more than five choices, so I had to split the "pick a person" chapter into two chapters that would run along parallel tracks. I've only posted one of them, however -- the one I intend to follow.

Interactive: "Theater of the Absurd + "A Bitch Slap
Public: "Theater of the Absurd + "A Bitch Slap

October 28, 2020 at 4:37pm
October 28, 2020 at 4:37pm
#997022
Today I start a new branch, which might go long or it might go short. It depends on how much writing I get done in the next few days.

Interactive: "The Wrong Kind of Party Crasher
Public: "The Wrong Kind of Party Crasher

Background: After losing his magical grimoire in a scrum with some bullies, Will Prescott has mostly forgotten all about it and his life has been pretty normal. Normal, that is, until some cheerleaders—Eva Garner and her sister Jessica—start paying attention to him. As the chapter opens, he has been cornered by Eva and invited to go out to the Warehouse (an infamous party spot) with them.

These chapters are related to a commission that I have accepted but not completed, and the branch will go long if I'm able to get it done in time to my satisfaction. I have had to write a couple of chapters to set up the commission's situation, though, and if I'm not able to get the commission done, you'll have to content yourselves (for now) with the linking chapters.
October 27, 2020 at 4:54pm
October 27, 2020 at 4:54pm
#996904
After duplicating a title yesterday, I made sure to go in the opposite direction today:

Interactive: "Invalid Chapter
Public: "Invalid Entry

And that finally brings this branch to a conclusion, where the commissioner wanted it to end.

And next? Um ...

There's another commission I'm supposed to be writing, and I have been working on it, but it's not nearly done yet. It's another case, though, where I have to write some connecting chapters before we get to the point where the commission itself can properly launch. Those connecting chapters are written, so I'll start posting those tomorrow, at least.
October 26, 2020 at 6:12pm
October 26, 2020 at 6:12pm
#996827
So, I didn't mean to disappear for a few days, but I am back (knock wood), with the next-to-the-last chapter in this commissioned branch.

Interactive: "Thimbleriggery
Public: "Thimbleriggery

Not that anything was wrong. It started with one day where I was too busy with other stuff to remember to post the chapter. Then that night I didn't sleep and was too useless to do anything the next day. And then I discovered that I just needed kind of a short break from even looking at BoM and WdC. I can't explain it, but sometimes it just happens.

Anyway, one more chapter to post in the commission and then I'll ... be doing something. I don't know. This short vacation was started by a bout of insomnia, but I think my enthusiasm needs a more serious recharging. I'll have to just see what comes next.

EDIT: Fixed "Public" link.
October 17, 2020 at 5:57pm
October 17, 2020 at 5:57pm
#996128
Sometimes you have to get a project entirely out of your head before you're able to work on something else. I have a feeling it's going to turn out to be that way with the "Incredible Hulk" script. TBH, I'm having a hard time reading and polishing my BoM chapters—

Oh, latest now up: "Memories From Another Me (interactive) and "Memories from Another Me (public)

—while I've got this script inside my brain. Never mind writing new BoM stuff.

The script that I published as part of BoM was based on a watching of a single episode of the series. But I went back onto Daily Motion afterward and watched a bunch more, and found that my script was somewhat out of continuity with the rest of the series. I also found that both my version and the original episode didn't quite capture the nature of the relationship between Bruce Banner/Hulk and Rick Jones, at least as it is dramatized in the other episodes.

So that left me dissatisfied with what I'd written.

Then, too, I discovered that, far from being too short, my script was far too long. I did a partial transcription of an episode -- writing it out in the same format and degree of detail as I'd used in my script -- and found that it was working out to about 1 minute of screen time per page. [**] At 29 pages, my script was way too long for a 22-minute cartoon.

So I spent yesterday and today revising the whole thing. I started by shortening dialogue and tightening conversations. Then I ruthlessly chucked out a couple of scenes and radically truncated others while adding some new ones. By the time I was finished, there was little left from Michael Reaves's original script save for the Puppet Master's ability to spy on and copy people on the streets. It might still be slightly too long, coming in at 22 1/4 pages instead the 22 even that it should be at.

I've left the BoM version up, and posted the revised version as a standalone item in my Portfolio, for any that are curious: "Invalid Item

[**] The one-page-per-minute rule is a common one when judging movie scripts. Apparently TV scripts tend to run a little longer. There seems to be very little consensus on how long an animated-TV script should run. Many cartoon scripts are typically very detailed on shot breakdowns, which means they run closer to a rate of 2-pages-per-minute. But because I'm eschewing as much "shot" detail as possible, my script wound up running closer to the usual length.
October 15, 2020 at 7:59pm
October 15, 2020 at 7:59pm
#995961
I'm supposed to working on a new commission, and I am working on it. Here and there, a bit at a time. But I've had a strong itch recently to work on non-BoM stuff, so that's where I've been concentrating. Using writing prompts, I've been adding short stories to my WdC portfolio.

And yesterday I wrote an action-cartoon script.

No, it's not a "Spider-Man" script, though I am still working on that project. But it is going slowly, as I have to first outline a 13-episode arc; then outline the particular episodes; then write the scripts. In the meantime, though, I decided to have some fun with a similar but smaller project.

I'm putting the SPOILER WARNING up here, in case you want to read the script before hitting the spoiler-heavy commentary track. Yes, it is in script format, though I've tried to keep it as readable as possible. I have also interrupted it in spots with embedded images taken from the original animated cartoon, with some captions.

Anyway, the script takes the form of another entry in that weird fiction collection that Will finds in Blackwell's bedroom, and it starts here: "The Puppet Master Strikes!-1

So how did I come to write it?

A few days ago I stumbled on an episode of the 1982 Incredible Hulk animated series: "Bruce Banner Unmasked." The Puppet Master was the villain, so, as with "Superior Spider-Man," this was a story that is right in my wheelhouse. For fun, I decided to reimagine it in a case of Let's Pretend: "Let's pretend the series' story editor handed me Michael Reaves's script and told me to revise it however I thought fit." So that's what I did. No, the Puppet Master doesn't win in the end -- there's a conventional ending -- but I had a little malign fun with it in places. Also, because it is meant to be an adaptation of a 1982 cartoon, it is intentionally much cheezier than anything I'd normally try to write.

If you want to watch the original, before or after my version, you can find it on Daily Motion: "Bruce Banner Unmasked"  

Okay, another spoiler warning before hitting the commentary track, which follows ...

Now:

So, the original episode is an intersection of two plots. In the first, the Puppet Master is trying to use puppets to control both Mesa City and The Hulk; in the second, General Ross and his men are trying to discover The Hulk's identity, and they succeed!

I had a real problem with the story. The first problem is that the two stories are not intrinsically related. Yes, it's the Puppet Master who causes Banner to accidentally reveal that he's the Hulk, but that's the only way they connect. Worse, neither story really develops itself. As soon as the Hulk is revealed, the Puppet Master takes control of the Army, which freezes the Hulk-identity story: Betty and the others aren't themselves, so there's no development of what happens when they learn of Banner's secret identity. And after the Puppet Master takes control of the city and army (which happens in quick order) there's his story devolves into a lot of running around and technobabble.

Also, having revealed Banner's identity, the story then has to go to work finding a way to give Betty and everyone else amnesia.

So I decided to start by cutting out the "revealed identity" story, and made Banner's plot a simple one: He has to sneak physical evidence linking himself to the Hulk out of the base, with the ironic disaster that, as soon as he succeeds, that evidence is seized by the Puppet Master and used in the attempt to enslave the Hulk.

This required another change, one to the lore. In the Marvel universe, it is enough for the Puppet Master to make a clay likeness of his victim in order to control him. I find this too absurd even for comic book hoodoo. (Not even the excuse that the clay is "radioactive" works.) The Puppet Master is plainly using a variety of sympathetic magic, and sympathetic magic typically requires something of the victim's own in order to work. So I rewrote the lore so that the Puppet Master also requires the victim's hair be mixed with the clay. This had the added advantage of pointing to an easy "trick solution" to save the day at the end.

Otherwise, most of my changes were attempts to simplify the story and give it a little more forward momentum. I made the story move toward the Puppet Master's plot to control the Hulk, instead of giving him the ability at the start, and I made it move toward his getting control of the army base instead of giving him that control in the middle. I eliminated the character of Alicia and gave her (expository) part to the character of Rio, who in the original just disappeared after being used to menace the heroes. And although Alicia has a theoretically interesting relationship to her step-father, it's a relation that isn't used to real dramatic effect in the original, and eliminating her snips off an unsatisfactory dangly bit.

As a result of these simplifications, there are fewer action scenes, many of which didn't lead anywhere in the original. But I think an episode about mind-control can be forgiven for leaning a little more strongly on atmosphere than on Hulk-smashing.

With fewer action scenes, I'm not certain the script would actually be long enough for a twenty-two minute action cartoon. I'm just going to pretend that with less frenetic action, there would be more time for mood and atmosphere in the chase scenes.

I also added a few bits to better explain the Puppet Master's quick and far-reaching success, and some personality switching, because people seem to like that kind of perverse mind-screw.



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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2156493-The-Book-of-Masks-Homepage/month/10-1-2020