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Sunday, May. 26, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

April 22, 2022 at 9:24pm

#1031202

Can I reset my brain?

Artist: Sufjan Stevens
Song: The Only Thing
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"JAFBG" Prompt: There are many moments when we have to bite our tongues and refrain from speaking our minds. Tell us about a time when you refrained, and what you wish you'd been able to say.

Biting my tongue has gotten considerably easier in recent months as I am just so incredibly exhausted with the world that I hardly even care to speak. It just feels... pointless?

Honestly, I'm just tired.

In the US, we went through years of divisive political rhetoric that turned our neighbors and families against each other. I can't even look at people who identify with the current republican party anymore. It immediately and permanently changes my opinion of someone. There isn't even anything I can say about it expect... what the fuck.

I'm so disillusioned by this. I don't see any way I'll ever get over it. Having people I thought I knew suddenly feel comfortable to show this horrible underbelly to my country that I did not even know existed has been a difficult pill to swallow.

There are a lot of Trump supporters at my work and I bite my tongue regularly. My boss has gone on homophobic rants to me, not even realizing that I am the person he's talking about. It hurts. But I'm getting used to it- realizing that all along these people held hateful views of their fellow countrymen. They were only waiting for permission to speak.

Then we went straight into a pandemic that, quite frankly, still hasn't ended. I feel mostly okay now, being vaxxed and having numbers that are relatively low right now. Of course, no idea what the future holds there in terms of variants and future spikes, but I feel generally alright there although the time was very isolating and probably not great for my life outlook.

I'm acutely aware of how different people handled the worst of the pandemic. Again, I bite my tongue against people comparing wearing a mask in a doctor's office to nazi Germany. I mean, you're obviously incredibly disrespectful, but okay.

It's just not surprising anymore.

Then as soon as the pandemic starts to look like it's easing up on us, we're promptly thrown into this global conflict where we're basically in a proxy war with Russia. Having to witness massive war crimes. Constantly being threatened with nuclear war. Helplessly watching things escalate. Contending with insanely high cost of living and inflation rates.

It's all a big oof for me.

There are a lot of things I could say about the past 5-7 years and I'm sure there's a lot I could say about the next 5-7 years, but I almost see no point in connecting with other people at this time. I've gotten too disillusioned with the world and I just don't care to try now.

I spend all of my time working, reading, sleeping, drawing, and being otherwise reclusive because I can't relate to the world I'm living in.

So as far as things I wish I could've said in various circumstances? Nothing. Because there is no arrangement of any collection of words that can make people actually step back and just think. It's futile.

We could have so much and we actively choose to have so little just to prove a point.

Should I tear my eyes out now
before I see too much?

7 Like • Comment • View 3 comments

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