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Where Reality Will Byte, if You Aren't Careful What You Read... My Year's Quest. |
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NEW BLOG: "Mind Minutiae"  Click here to SCROLL down to the journal entries.  The Reason for the Season I Seems like I have to know everyone else's job for them just so I can get my business conducted. Bills, utilities and internet providers and cellular companies and GAWD knows medical institutions, offices, and billing departments. Pre-authorizations, exceptions, policies and terms and conditions. Websites, APPS, Apples and Windows. Modems, Network Extenders, cellular upgrades, iPad upgrades, trade-in value redemptions from hell. What is WRONG with peeps today? Why can't they simply DO their jobs? Why do I have to spend an hour in an online chat just to be told to call them instead? Why is it they are doing the opposite of what they say they will? What ever happened to friendliness AND competence, as a two-pronged necessity of employment, anyway? And when a mistake is made, especially an egregious error like dangerous medication being filled at the wrong milligram amount, is it so awkward they cannot issue an apology, just as a token of respect and shame? Not a lot, mind you, but it is professional. Why are they no longer so professional, businesses and institutions? Well. I'm here to tell you that 'nice' doesn't get you all the way through an encounter with an idiot. Or, more often, with an employee more worried about covering their ass than your well being. This is also not a one-off because I have been noting this trend of gross negligence and incompetence all year long. In fact, since I had my complete pulmonary embolism (blood clots in the lung's artery, at least for me the right) in April, 2018, I have been taking copious notes. That's right. I see you. You imbecile. You clock-puncher, only worried about your paycheck and not caring much about a job well done. Where is your integrity? Your inner fire? Do you save it for your band, your friends, or your schoolwork? It isn't exclusive you know—you can spread it around some. Add a little genuineness to that, "Have a good day, ma'am." I always had a good time while working in customer service, and I was competent, as well. Well, I certainly thought so, right. I'm not expecting you to do anything I cannot do myself except for the fact that you umm kinda get paid to do it! So, since April of 2018, I decided to go forth in search of a better quality of life. Whata does that MEAN? It means I was miserable, really, and not for trying to cheer up either. My medical woes have taken over my life and there isn't too much I can do about it. Or is there? Yeah, so I set out on seeing all the doctors I've been meaning to over the years. Updating some scans and tests, as many as I could. I hate seeing new doctors and the specialists are kinda the worst; having to explain in a 'nutshell' forty-seven-years of medical history is not my idea of fun. In fact, I get depressed thinking about it, let alone speaking about it all. It's complicated. Therefore, I'm complicated, right? Or, perhaps I'm just an interesting 'case' the doctors should look at like the puzzle I truly am. Where's the curiosity gone?  T Doctors and more mainstream staff just treat symptoms; they have to really want to figure out a mystery medically speaking, in order to do me any good. I am not normal, never have been, absolutely never will be. Medically, I do wish I were normal, it'd be so much easier... but no. Now I am not going to let you get away with your shit! I am going to call you on it. If you are deemed incompetent, I will do my best to fire you and find another competent person to replace you on my medical team. And I will not apologize for it. I won't be meek, I won't hold my tongue unless I want to, I will speak plainly and bluntly. If you can't handle this patient, that's okay, but all I am asking is for you to do your job. Competently. Yes, even for me, who is "so complicated." It's like marriage vows, you don't agree to be there for your spouse only when the weather's nice out, right? Right. You have to take the good with the bad. And this all applies to my former 'good weather' friends because you know whata? Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes it really, really sucks. It can also be terrific. And this goes for everyone out there, not just me or someone who has medical issues. Nope. This is where I will mostly talk about the sucky stuff, because I need an outlet for it. I need to complain without reproach. I need to write words I might actually never say, but lately I don't know, I just MIGHT. Perhaps, I already have   Adrie's 2nd Blog (The first one is LINKED BELOW (click on the pic) and also where you might go if you want to get to know me—I don't leave much unsaid, I suppose. Mostly.)  I Reside With:  Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. ~Saint Augustine Obligatory Mood TRIBUTE Video: Dedication: This live performance from STAIND is stellar, but then he is always so wonderful live. I've gone through the gamut of music this past week, everything from Disturbed to everything TOOL's ever recorded and quite a few of their live performances as well; from Everclear to Coal Chamber; to Incubus through to System of a Down. Yup. I settled on this song because when I think of my old friend Gus, I think of why and how he ever became referred to as 'Crazy Gus' (and rightfully so). Dude was a hard, hard rocker; we're talking about a guy that went to so many concerts, I doubt he could list them all if he had tried. The fact that he dragged me around to System of a Down, Lollapalooza 1997 to see The Prodigy and TOOL, Everclear at the Hard Rock LA, and geez... so many more venues around Hollywood and bands than I ever remembered before... before his death. He died rather suddenly September 19.   Kicking Ass, Taking Names, One Fool at a Time! |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 2032: October 25, 2019. Everyone’s addicted to something in some shape or form. What are things you can’t go without? Hmmm. I make my technology my priority. I have my cell phone, and it is needed for emergencies out here in the forest without a landline. I have a Mini iPad5 that I use mostly for my graphics, and a 12.9" iPad Pro Gen3 for writing. I haven't been writing on it since I got it though because the size is different so my keyboard doesn't work on it. Got one in my wish list! And I pay for the highest plan available for my cellular because my wifi sucks. Otherwise, I don't have anything fancy, just my Apples  I am totally addicted to grapes. I seriously dig them. And fresh corn on the cob which I am about to eat now. Love it. And frozen vanilla bean yogurt! With root beer this year. Next year it might be a chocolate yogurt with it, something. Feels good on my gums  I have been on a homemade nachos kick the last two years. I take mexican store bought chips, add some salsa juice, perhaps open a can of pinto beans and use some, tons of green onions (which I also love) and cheese. Avocado with a little bit of lemon and mayo is a bonus! A little bit of ketchup. Ta da. After a month or so I absolutely will kill for a chocolate bar. Just need some! And I love my Moscato Red wine, but once I drink it all I usually don't buy any for a couple of months. I have to sip it, literally, sparingly with my blood thinner... if anything, I'd say I'm addicted to my cats. And cats in general. I think in cat. It's one thing I do well, and they appreciate my attention and taking care of em. Plus I AM addicted to buying graphics on etsy.com  |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 2033: October 26, 2019 Use these fabulous e words in your blog entry today. Have fun. effect ensure earwax economist excavate expenditure endure ex Oh I'm already tired thinking of using all these words  No seriously. It's not the prompt's fault: I'm just really tired. My steroid withdrawal by only 1mg less a day was going super—for ten days—then my all day soujourn to my appointment just wiped me out. Sometimes it be that way. It's rare I sleep very much because of my pains, but since changing my schedule whoa yup I usually nap in the afternoon but I wakeup way before dawn. So, even though I am sleeping more, the effect is actually I am up longer hours. Who gets up at 3am? Me. It does ensure more quality time with my cats though My expenditures are increasing this month and next month: Obamacare open enrollment premiums are gonna go up as they have every year since its inception, 2014. The economists swear it'll go down, but no way! Used to be $50 now it's $613 premium, per month. Not happy. I'll eat my foot if it's any lower this year... ha. Speaking of medical, why DO my ears always itch? I always think it's an earwax buildup, but it's not and I've no idea why they itch so. It's vexing! Excavate. What? Whata word! I need to excavate my kitchen under all the dirty dishes and that may be gross but it's true *sigh* Once I get too sick to clean, it goes downhill quickly. Then I don't want to touch them because it makes me gag. I am perfectly able to keep cleaning up, for the most part, when I am not constantly ran over by that steroid train, but this year it's been ridiculous. I never recovered my house from being out so long with the PE. Just something to endure; if I 'just work through it' my tapering will be for naught as I'll have to go UP on the steroids, past the point I was at before. Frustrating. By the way, 'endure' is one of my favorite words. It says a lot without any obfuscations. Out of the six previous romantic relationships I've had in my life, only four are still alive. That I know of. They're dropping like flies! I'm still trying to work on a tribute in writing for my friend Gus, who was also an ex, yes—but remained a friend. 54 is too young to die. It bothers me that there's no one to really talk to about him that wants to face the truth of his death, and how he lived his life. My mom is there though, she liked Gus too! He was a character in every sense of the word. I think he came to me the other night. I've been having these visits lately. In the first moment of opening my eyes from sleep, I will see something or someone I know cannot possibly be there. It started out with me seeing spiders on my bed. I would jump and scream and tear apart the house to find it, make sure I got rid of it, but nothing. Nada. I always find the culprit or my cats do so it wasn't good. It happened every time I woke up for that week. Then it moved to objects looking way different than they should: I saw a 'box' on my floor, complete with packing tape and a label and everything. I thought my mom had opened my front door and delivered it. She said no. I was freaking out! Who broke into my house? When I got up, I could see it was just the play tent for my cats. Yet I SAW this box. So, these events kinda kept happening. Then I opened my eyes and naturally they could see into the kitchen. There was a figure completely in black: like black sweatshirt with a hoodie, and sweatpants in black. It looked to be about Gus's size. But there were no areas that weren't black. I was not at all afraid, hell anything's better than spiders. I am really, really secure in my faith, and I've had a couple visitations years and years ago when my friend and then again when my dad died. But this... I have indeed been worried about him hanging around. We want our peeps to move on, ya know? Yeah. I don't feel like he absolutely has. The next night, same thing figure in the kitchen. Only this time it was a woman, a woman in a burgundy colored sari. An Indian woman, real pretty. Ugh yeah I don't know anyone like her... I have no idea who she is. She was there for me to see so very briefly, then was gone POOF! I felt like I wasn't actually supposed to see her. Gus I felt like I was. It might not have been Gus, I am aware of that; perhaps someone who lived here a long time ago. It is a 100 year old farmhouse and property, old in my area, but I just don't want to assume it's my friend. Regardless, these events don't scare me and I know the lore is anything in black is a shadow person or an entity or something evil, but I do not at all feel this is the case. I do have spiritual discernment I have developed, so I do trust in my observations. This all only occurs in the very first moments of waking up. In the past things have happened here and there in my sleep, lucid dreaming, etc. So, I feel I am in a very open state mentally. I got a lot going on up there right now. Lots of family stuff. But, 'tis veddy interesting, non? |
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