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Blog and other works of literary sense |
Size: 883 Entries
Created: November 29th, 2019 at 12:06pm
Modified: March 6th, 2023 at 4:07pm
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Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot.
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| I've had depression eversince 1987 when I lost someone I love. I've not gotten over it but the intervening years I've had work to do that I threw myself into to numb the pain of loss. Now that I'm retired, I tend to think a lot about the past and what the loss has had on my psyche. I am trying to occupy myself with writing which has been helpful but these days the depression has returned more than before and I am sad a lot. The meds I have been on have been discontinued merely due to the activities I've been doing for work. Now it's back and I have had to find a few ways to counter it but I am now admitting that medication is the only answer. |
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| I've had a talk with my doctor about my depression. She has prescribed an antidepressant. |
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| I've been feeling better once I have had cigs. |
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| I've been suffering from depression. The bad thing is that I'm depressed because I'm apart from my boyfriend of two years. He lives in England and I live in Indiana. The pandemic is keeping us apart. I have no money to visit him. And I would like to live with him in London where he lives. He has his life and so have I but we love each other always. I dono't know what to doabout our situation. I feel as though there is an impasse and the only one who can open it is the PM of England who can make it easier for people to visit England. Now he is delaying the regulations for lifting the lockdown. I do not know how I can make it England even when it is open to tourists. It will take a lot of money to go there. I'm hoping and banking on getting more income from my writing, but that's almost impossible. Writing isn't the way to go when looking for a big income. I don't know what to do. I'll have to send my boyfriend love notes and kisses from afar. I know he will do something for me but I am sure he has his job to do and he can't get away from it. Our love affair will have to wait, I'm afraid. |
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| I've got to quit smoking. I haven't lit a cig since seven a.m. today and I seem to be alright. I was afraid it might become addictive. Now the day has gone on long enough without smoking that I think not having cigs tomorrow or the dayafter will be fine. |
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The day is bright. I'm online and looking at Twitter. The news seems to be the same every day. It's not that exciting anymore. I sometimes go to Tumblr and they have pretty pictures. I'm thinking of making lunch today. A simple recipe, nothing more.
I am trying to lose weight but I know that I have to have the right nutrients to keep healthy. So I'm taking my vitamins and hope that this will help.
The pups and cats have been fed and watered. My puppy wants to jump on my lap mostly in the mornings. It's tricky because I have some items on my desk that he will run off with. Luckily, I've been able to get it out of his mouth and he gets a scolding. In retaliation, he pulls out my mail from the chair nearby and tears it apart. Haha.
I bought them some toys but they're not working out. My older pup doesn't seem to know what to do with it. He's from a shelter and I think he's sad a lot. But he loves me for saving him from being put down.
I love my pets always and they love me back.
If I were to move somewhere I'd have to take them all with me. That might take some doing.
However, I place all my trust in My God Who loves us all. |
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| I've written another book titled The Bridge. |
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| I had a dream this morning. I dreamed that people in my city wanted me to leave. I am not happy that they thought that. But it was just a dream. I pay my taxes and also help with expenses, and that makes me a contriubting part of the citizenry. |
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| I'm sitting in the kitchen. It's raining outside. It's after four a.m. The dark outside is gloomy but the sound of the rain is oddly reassuring. |
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| I've had a difficult morning because I had a nightmare and awoke before midnight last night. I was able to fend the bastard thoughts off through the morning. I feel more the thing now. i can tell what those bastard thoughts are doing to me and I have given them names to differntiate them from each other. The ones who keep coming to hurt me and my stuff are people in my past who are too snobbish to think that I could be anyone to them and that I might be Queenly. |
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