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Adventures In Living With The Mythical |
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A military veteran is adopted by a werewolf and brought into his pack. Insanity ensues. About "Life With A Werewolf" Life with a werewolf is a dramatic blog. As such the characters in this blog are not real but maybe loosely based on real people. The situations represented are not real but maybe loosely based on real things that have happened in my life. There are a multitude of ways to view life, this is simply one of the ways I have chosen to view mine. Updated Every Friday unless I can't or don't want to. |
| It had been several days since the entire incident had happened with Marissa and Tarissa, the ‘twin’ rougarous. They had left the county is all I knew. Crash was attempting to track them, but movements outside of his control tend to get shifted to the back burner, so he wasn’t getting a lot of updates. All he knows is that Garrett wasn’t with them. At this point, we’re not sure if that’s better or worse. I hadn’t figured on seeing Elouise again for some time. If I did, I thought it would be pretty much like Gary. See her in the street going for a jog or walk. She’d wave and maybe stop to have a conversation. Instead, she’s been fairly active with Crash and I. We don’t see her every day or anything, but I’ll get a phone call, usually on a weekend or something and she’ll ask if me and Crash wants to hang. It’s strange but nice to have a myth friend who hangs out and doesn’t want anything out of me than friendship. This was one of those weekends. We sat on her property in cheap plastic chairs that looked as if they came from a Dollar General clearance sale. Each one of us had a drink in our hands, though mine was non-alcoholic. The sun dipped low enough to silhouette her neighbors house. We watched the sunlight drift and the chocolate brown furred back of our neighbor as he continued weeding. He gave us a polite wave occasionally, but didn’t seem to mind our staring that much. His cow-like tail hung out in a curl behind him through a homemade hole in his old jeans. “He don’t mind us watching, huh,” Elouise said. I shrugged. “That’s the Henderson’s for ya. They’re friendly enough. Always outside. Don’t mind everyone watching. Well, everything.” She arched an eyebrow at me. “Really?” Crash chuckled. “I had to talk to them a couple times about keeping the drapes closed when they decided to get frisky.” Elouise laughed for a good while. “Is all minotaurs like that? I’ve never lived near one.” I gave a shrug, while Crash answered. “Yes and no. They enjoy sunlight, being outside, and attention. It’s part of their whole religion kind of. They worship the Earth and Gaya, the ‘Mother Spirit’ as they call her. They do so by trying to be outside as much as possible doing things like this.” “Why hadn’t you wrote about’em in your blog,” Elouise asked. “Well,” I said, “that whole shutting the curtains thing is the freakiest thing they’ve ever done. They’re just as normal as anyone. Like our post office, for example. All of them are just humans. No drama or excitement in regular mail delivery by relatively happy people.” “I guess,” Elouise said. “I suppose it’s difficult to get across sometimes that us, ‘mythicals’ as you started calling us are usually just normal people for the most part.” I smiled. “I’ve even had mythicals come up to me who’d never met a vampire before and asked me, ‘are vampires actually meth heads?’” “People are dumb,” Elouise said. I shrugged. “They can be, sometimes. But I think most of us humans have a level of naivete built into us.” Crash rolled his eyes. “Here we go.” “I’m serious,” I said. “Why do you think regular humans don’t ever see Charles’ and Nancy’s tails? Why do they see you running around the woods, Crash, and think ‘deer’ or ‘dog’. Remember the fun you had last year teasing the dog catcher?” That happened when I was posting the letter that I had gotten about Kheid. It was a humorous little anecdote, but felt a little too Loony Tunes for me to actually post it here. If you guys want it though, I’ll get it up. “You know, you slipped under the radar,” Crash said to Elouise, trying to derail my rant. Which I understood. Cause I had developed a whole TED Talk, complete with charts and figures. I suppose the power point presentation I had started was a little bit too far for everyone. “I couldn’t exactly follow protocol,” Elouise said. “Besides, everything worked out, didn’t it?” “Yes,” Crash said. “But we’re dangerously close to a Doveland scenario.” “Doveland,” I asked. Crash nodded. “It was a town in Wisconsin. Very friendly to us types, so a lot of us started moving there. The locals felt safer with us, and even began having discounts to attract weres of any kind. ‘Ten percent off your bill for showing us your ears’, that sort of thing. The town population grew to being half mythicals, even. Then trouble started. Needless to say, the entire thing was covered up, and now the records report the town as not existing.” “Trouble,” I asked. “A small war,” Elouise said. “Ended up being between us and the humans. Everyone lost. But rumor has it, that it wasn’t originally us and humans. It was the werewolves, and those damn cats.” “They started it,” Crash grumbled, but didn’t say more. “So, if we get anymore mythicals, what will happen,” I asked. “If someone tries to come in under the radar, I’ll have to run them out. If anyone else tries coming here legal they’re gonna be denied,” Crash took a pull from his can after that. It was a cheap skunk beer, the kind that has a flavor of piss and vinegar. The one that alcoholics and those of us recovering know the smell of well. “Well,” I said, “it’s got to be better than the dog catcher.” Crash grinned. “What, I was just getting a little revenge for all us dogs out there.” “Crash,” I said, “you tree’d him. You had him on the highest branch on the tree, calling for help.” Elouise blanched. “You didn’t.” “They did talk to me about that,” Crash said. “Crash,” I replied, “your boss laughed for three minutes and told you, and I quote, ‘next time get it on camera.’” “Still counts as talking,” Crash said. Elouise chuckled an agreement. “I would too.” I shook my head, “poor man’s gonna need therapy.” “He already needed therapy,” Crash said, then took another pull from his beer. We sat in her backyard, watching the sun set as our conversation wound around several strange things. Elouise talked about getting a job of some kind. The prelude I guess to her job in the grocery store. That made me feel a little guilty for a bit. After all, I still don’t have a job and don’t have any desire for one after the last fiasco I attempted at working. But still, money is tight, as it is for everyone. Doesn’t help when the price of your staples has tripled and the annual increase on your government stipend doesn’t bother even attempting to touch it. Times are tough all over though, so it wouldn’t do me any good to complain, I suppose. Still, a job of some kind is something that I do kick around the idea of now and again. But about the only thing I’m really good at it seems is working with mythicals and causing trouble. I figure the thing I could be good at is podcasting. My mouth runs on its own at times, much to the detriment of all of my roomies. But, where in our strange eclectic house could I podcast? What would I even talk about? Every podcast has to have a focus of some kind, and I don’t think anyone wants to hear one of my endless ramblings. That night ended with everyone saying goodnight, friendship hugs, and us going our separate ways. The thought of some sort of fulfillment in my life like a job of some kind did come up. But where in the world could I get a job causing trouble? I’ve always been afraid of becoming a Howard Stern type, someone who pisses people off for fun and money. If I piss someone off, it’s because they deserve it. That’s what this past adventure has taught me. That time I hid that speaker in my uncle’s house for example, I did because instead of talking about family and memories over the holidays, they’d rather complain about politics and whine about which side I’m on, and blah, blah, blah. Forgive me for wanting to spend time with loved ones reminiscing and attempting to grow closer, geez! I’m not a perfect person, far from it. But the more of these adventures Crash brings me on, ropes me in with, or I just stick my nose into, the more I’m learning that, although I’m not a nice person, I’m a good person. And there is a distinct difference between being nice and being good. The job thing may never happen for me again. I’ll just keep writing. Keep trying to sell my writing. Keep helping Crash, and keep trying to do the right thing. Even if that right thing means jumping on tables and trying to start fights. |
| You can fight hand to hand with someone larger than you if you have extensive training in it. It’s still very difficult, but it is doable. Your tactics become more about balance, momentum and leverage. The idea is to get them off balance, utilizing their own momentum so you can leverage a weak point, a joint usually to inflict pain and do enough damage that you can get out of the conflict alive and whole. It takes training, dedication, and a touch of grace. I hadn’t had training in quite a while. I am always dedicated to helping my friends, but grace and I have never even been in the same hemisphere, let alone be touched by it. I can make a baby giraffe on stilts look graceful. So, the last leg of my plan really did rely on my friends and none of my grace. It was simple really. Me and Elouise show up to the barbecue place right after closing, begin the scrap, distract them enough so Crash can go crashing in and saves the day. Not elegant, but it’s how literally all of my plans worked it seemed, despite me attempting to do other things. So, why not lean into what I am best at? When it comes to this werewolf, I’m best at being the damsel in distress. But I don’t wear a dress and he doesn’t get a heroic kiss after. Elouise, Crash, and I rolled over to the restaurant afterwards. Of course, me and Elouise went inside while Crash hung around outside doing whatever it is werewolves do during the daytime. We expected to see more of their barbecue, perhaps a few lingering customers, and three Rougarou taken by surprise. None of us was expecting the open house or the gravel parking lot full of cars. On the outside everyone had parked in just about every which way they could fit themselves in, the traditional way people park in lots without lines. Some trucks attempted to take up space of nine vehicles, while some smaller vehicles were bullied off into the corner somewhere, or sandwiched between two larger SUVs. Inside was a crush of people surrounding most of the tables. A soft murmur of conversation had settled in, like a layer of fog across a small New England town at the break of dawn. Across each table lay a display of property lines, a road traveling through it, and of course, the name sitting out front, “Mefferdi Estates”, written in scrolling cursive upon a proposed sign. It was a beautiful digital recreation of a neighborhood I was determined would never exist. Couples that ranged from elderly to newlyweds were all staring down at the pamphlets and displays of the properties. Some of them had already been sold, ‘all but the paperwork is ready’, I’ve heard one yuppy looking guy said as he chatted excitedly to his equally yuppy looking wife. “I spoke to the crew foreman. They can even get us the Kentucky Bluegrass we always wanted,” he beamed with pride. “Shit,” Elouise whispered in my ear, staring down at one of the pamphlets, “what are we going to do?” I shrugged. “What we came do to,” I whispered back. “We can’t start a fight here with all these people,” she hissed. I smirked at her. She really did not know me very well. The one thing I’m honestly good at is starting a fight just about anywhere. So, I did what got me thrown out of one of my uncle’s thanksgiving feasts, and subsequently banned from his property. I leaped onto the table, holding the pamphlet in my hand and shouted. “Boy! These properties sure do look nice. Why, I’d be tempted to commit double homicide myself to sell stuff like this!” You could hear a pin drop as every eye turned towards me. “Excuse me,” one elderly lady asked. I could tell I shocked her. Her mouth was open so long, that I wanted to tell her she was going to catch flies that way, but instead I leaned down and said “try more lean protein and fiber. Should help with the gas.” Then I stood and shouted at everyone else, as I ignored her indignant ‘why I nevers’. “That’s right, double homicide! Murder times two! These two lovely bimbos,” I said pointing at Marissa and Tarissa, “murdered the sweet innocent Gandiffs after holding their family hostage to buy it!” The ‘twins’ turned towards me, death in their eyes. “How dare you,” she snarled, “we did no such thing! You’re gonna hear from our lawyer for makin such baseless accusations and slanderous lies! We’re gonna sue you into the ground. Your grand-children are gonna need lawyers when we’re through!” “That’s right,” I shouted talking over her. “If we peel up these boards right now and dig a bit, we’ll find fresh lye, and two very battered bodies of sweet innocent people beneath our very feet!” Tarissa turned sheet white for a moment. Marissa looked like she expected something like that. “We did no such thing, you can’t prove a damn bit of it, just another ugly carpet bagger trying to fool these fine folks.” “I’m not the one trying sell land without giving anyone actual paperwork. How many of you were able to read a contract tonight before handing over the down payment? How many of you read any paperwork what so ever? Have you asked why this restaurant is in such a cheap, flimsy building? As if they’re ready to flee at any moment?” I looked around the room. Every eye was on me now. It was as if the lightbulbs were going off in their heads all at once. “Why I tell you, you’ve been hoodwinked. Bamboozled. Flim-flamed. Everyone in here is a sucker for the oldest con known to man! Something for nothing! I bet when you come by tomorrow to pick up your ‘paperwork’ not even this building will be standing!” Accusations began to rise as people started asking about the paperwork and titles for the land. I think it was the yuppy Kentucky bluegrass that asked started asking first. That sort of started a snowball effect. Thank God, or the universe or whoever, but everything began happening all at once. Through all the shouting threats and demands, the crowd of people pressing in closer and closer on Marissa and Tarissa, I almost didn’t see Garrett until he was practically on top of me. Even in human form he was massive. And moving at a clip that I knew I couldn’t match. He had come from some room around back, wearing a buttoned-up flannel shirt of some kind. I figured he was playing the “foreman” that yuppy Kentucky Bluegrass had spoken to. Elouise stepped in front of him, and tried to slow him down. Which gave me enough time to jump off the table and run out the front door. Flashing blue and red lights where everywhere at this point. People shouting. Some people trying to leave because they were smart enough to not hand over money yet and wanted no part of what was happening. And then there was me. Running towards the back of the property, muttering “stupidplanstupidplanstupidstupidstupid” as I did a full sprint towards the fence. Then my feet left the ground. I looked down at Elouise, who was at a full sprint, and shifting into her gator form. She had scooped me up and threw me over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. “I didn’t know you could shift and run,” I said, as her snout began to push out from her face. “Me either till now,” she snarled, looking around. “Hurts like a bitch though. Hang on!” We were in the woods now, drifting further from civilization. At least I thought we were until we broke through the tree line and into a commercial lot of some kind. It was a large open space, with no construction a road nearby, and no one else. And then three Rougarou in full gator form surrounding me and Elouise. A lot of the action happened faster than I could see with my own eyes. Two green blurs fought against another green blur in the middle. Elouise was holding her own against Marissa and Tarissa, at least for a while. Then she was on her back, with Marissa and Tarissa pinning her down. While I was watching Elouise, Garret just scooped me up like a child being scolded by a parent. He held in front of his face. He hissed and opened his maw, threateningly. His mouth was ring of glistening razer sharp gator teeth and a tongue that lead into nothingness – an eternal abyss of death and destruction. “I hate the taste of human,” he snarled. “But for someone as special as you, I’ll make an exception.” A lone howl cut through the night. Garret snapped his jaw shut and turned towards the woods that we had just ran through. I looked in the direction he was staring just in time to see two large, furry blurs erupt from the tree-line. The Rougarou never had a chance. The darker of the blurs hit Garrett. I hit the ground and rolled, limping a bit, but not yet feeling the injury. As I looked up towards Garrett, I could see Crash on top of him. Garrett was on his belly, squirming as Crash held his tail in his claws. A quick slash then Garrett’s tail was no longer attached to his body. Marissa and Tarissa would have looked upon him with sympathy had they stuck around, I know. But the brown blur had already chased them both into the woods. Garrett snarled up at Crash, as Crash threw the tail down. “You bastard,” he whimpered, “You flea-bitten bastard! I’ll kill you if it’s the last thing…” His tail lay beside him like a bloody tree limb. In the thin light the blood was black. You could almost convince yourself it was nothing but a movie prop from an old Ed Wood film if you tried. Crash scooped up Garrett in his claws. Red and blue lights had found our little party. A scared rookie cop announced that whoever was in the costume to drop them now and back away. Crash snarled something at him then disappeared through the shadows. Garrett did the same, limping away now in a different direction. The flashing red and blue lights blinded me to most of what happened with the cop car. There was a shout. A conversation. Then the car left in quite a hurry afterwards. When Crash walked back up to me, I asked him what had happened. He just smiled at me and said “We had a small talk about what his job and my job was.” “You made him piss himself, didn’t you,” I asked. A grin appeared on Crash’s muzzle, as his ears tipped backwards a bit. “Not intentionally.” *** The sun was rising again over the small patch of trees that separated our house from the rest of the small town that it resided nearby. It was enough to be a forest I guess, but not quite like the forests I grew up with. Still, it was a nice reminder of home. And would occasionally give me a reminder or two of why I left. Elouise and I leaned against Crash’s front bumper, watching the sunrise. Crash had dumped us off, parked the car, then disappeared into the woods. “He always has to work so late,” she asked. “Paperwork,” I said. “And knowing Crash, he probably returned to where Garett disappeared and is searching for him.” She shuttered. “I hope he finds that bastard,” she said. “Me too,” I agreed. “I’m curious what a tailless Rougarou looks like as a human.” She smirked. “Really,” she asked. “I’m serious! You think he lost a leg or has massive scars on his butt? I mean what little but there was, Garrett had a serious case of noassatall.” Elouise looked at me, in the confused dog look that Crash sometimes gets. “Noassatall?” I nodded. “Yeah! He had no ass at all! Like none! Dude looked like God snatched it off him in the womb or egg or whatever as a cosmic punishment.” She laughed. Which set me off as well, our cares of the past few days cascading into the morning. “You know,” she smiled at me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “If you were only Rougarou and not human.” “Bad idea,” I sighed, sliding subtly away. “Damaged goods. Don’t do that to yourself.” “What about Crash,” she asked. “Crash?” She nodded. “What about him? You think?” I looked over at the sunrise. Golden red rays piercing through the blue skies to promise another glorious day. Suddenly though, I was feeling the chill. She must have seen something on my face, as she looked down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t,” she began. “No,” I said, patting her shoulder. “It’s not like that.” “Then what,” she asked. I paused a moment. “I don’t know exactly. It’s not my place to say even if I did. But what I will tell you is that sometimes someone is so hurt by something, some event, some person, some thing, that a part of them becomes broken. That’s what I think happened with Crash. I’m not saying you can’t try. But I’m saying don’t be surprised if he don’t respond well.” She nodded then turned. “Friendship is probably the better option,” she muttered, then said, “I’ve got to get back. Sleep. Unpack, you know the drill.” I smirked; the smile felt a little hollow. “If you ever want to beat someone at arm wrestling, you know where to find me.” She turned around and took two steps backwards as she spoke. “Oh, come on, that ain’t hard. I can beat half the town!” Then turned back and left, the sunrise leaving long trails of shadows before her. |
| The key to the new plan was getting Crash into the door, legally. It works a bit different with mythicals apparently, than it does with us regular folk. A normal person commits a crime, say like murder, and that person is arrested, put on trial, and then they go to prison. Whether sending them to jail for rehabilitation or holding them for execution is a topic of great debate and one that’s far above my paygrade. But for us normal humans that’s just generally how it goes. Arrest. Prison. And if the crime is bad enough, possible execution. Only after years of sitting in prison and fighting for your life in the court with lawyers and judges. For mythicals, it’s a bit different. They can’t get arrested. Not because of any immunity, but because their natural abilities puts them in a position to wreak A LOT of havoc inside a jail cell. So, someone like a psychopath minotaur for example who murders a family and eats their hearts, can’t go to jail cause there’s literally no way to stop him from doing it again on multiple inmates. Or just goring them for fun. Or whatever else he decides he wants to do. So instead, Crash has a bit of a leeway with execution. Which is also a topic of great debate apparently amongst the mythical side of the law. Crash can execute, he can banish, he can do whatever he is required to do to maintain the safety of normal humans and good order among the mythical citizens. “The trick,” Crash told me on the way to the Gandiff’s house, “Is the paperwork. If I get it wrong and execute the wrong one or the reason isn’t justified in anyway, I get executed instead.” We were taking Crash’s car. Elouise was in the back; a sour look on her face. “This is the last damn time I ever bring you guys anything. You know I had a job interview today that you just messed up?” She wasn’t wearing anything special. A T shirt with her heated sweater and a pair of jeans, the kind with a more elastic waistband so she could slip them off. “Think of it this way, we may be doing you a favor.” She rolled her eyes. “This,” she said, grabbin her vest, “is my thwackin uniform.” We pulled into a house in the nicer part of the county, one where white picket fences were freshly painted and the occasional chain link fence was new. Streets were cracked but repaired frequently, and the fresh lines of tar zigzagged across the asphalt like scars. Most houses looked open, warm and inviting, or as if someone was at work or something and not at home. Only one house had a car in the yard, all windows covered, and wreaked of paranoia. Surprise, surprise, it was the house we pulled up in front of. “Were here,” Crash said. “No kidding,” I replied. “Just a second, where did I put,” Crash grumbled, and began digging through the glove box, and digging around under the seat. “A-ha,” he cried in triumph as he held a badge aloft. “You have a police badge,” I said. “Well, not exactly,” Crash handed me the badge. It didn’t say police dept, but instead said ‘Office of Mythical Affairs’. “Office of Mythical Affairs,” I said. “What,” Crash asked. He checked his mirror then stepped out of the car and peaked his head back in. “It’s not exactly a cop. Think of it like a combined sheriff and U.S. Marshall for Mythicals.” “Huh, I guess I understand why you keep calling the ‘myth office,” I said as I followed him up the drive. We stopped in front of the door, and paused a moment. “So,” I asked him, “why where you so skittish about coming here?” He yawned. “Cause,” he grumbled, “It’s past my bed time, and protocol says wait for their call. Otherwise, there could be accidental exposure.” “I think we’re past that,” Elouise grumbled. I nodded in agreement. Crash just gave a soft growl, and knocked. When ‘who is it’ came through the door, Crash held up his badge and said, “we have just a few questions.” I noted that he had his finger over the name of his department when he held the badge up. The home owner didn’t seem to notice. A click, a sliding lock, then another click and the door was finally open. Behind it was a skinny man who looked as if he had the worst scare of his life. Behind him was a wife named Sarah, a small woman of Asian descent. The man introduced himself as Gordon. He seemed nice. The kind of guy you’d expect who could tell you, in intricate and exacting detail, the reasons why one battery type in an electric vehicle is preferable to another, where it was manufactured, and just why you’re supposed to agree with him. “So,” he said, “I heard nothing, I saw nothing, I know nothing. What else do you need to know?” “Sir,” Crash said, “ma’am. The only reason I’m showing you this is because I’m pretty certain you’ve already seen something similar.” He then unbuttoned his shirt and began to shift. Overalls gives him room to shift when he needs without being too constricting. Buttoned down shirts can easily be rebuttoned. Neither Gordon nor his wife Sarah seemed as surprised as I expected them to be. They jumped into each other’s arms. “Holy shit, they work for the government, I told you this was a government experiment,” Sarah shouted. “It’s not a government experiment,” I snapped. “Tell me what happened,” Crash said. And they answered. And it was exactly as I figured it would be. The Grey’s, Marissa, Tarissa, and Garrett came here, asking about the property. You see, the Gandiffs owned the land. They also didn’t like all of the development that went on around the area. The Gandiff’s appreciate a slower building community. So, they tried to price it at a point where it would encourage a little slower growth. There is ways around this of course. For the Grey’s, one way was for Garett to hold Gordon and Sarah hostage while Marissa and Tarissa get the land for almost nothing, then murder them and bury them on the property for the trouble. You know, reasonable actions. Which of course requires a reasonable reaction. I’m kind of like Newton’s third law of physics. For every reasonable action, there is an equal, yet opposite reaction. Or in this case, consequence. Crash smiled at the couple in his werewolf form, he was trying to be reasonable. Play the cute puppy dog again. I could see it was only partly working on Sarah. “You ever get your parents back?” Gordon shook his head. A tear built up in his eye as he spoke. “No. They disappeared. I know they’re dead, I just wish I knew where they were.” “You will,” Crash promised. “You will.” And with that, we turned around and left. We sat in Crash’s car in the driveway for a moment, while he shifted back. “No one notices,” I asked. He shook his head, “people see what they expect to see, what they want. It’s part of how the whole magic, glimmer, natural camouflage, whatever you want to call it, works. They don’t expect werewolves, so instead they just see a guy in a costume, or a hairy guy with his shirt open, or whatever.” “So,” Elouise asked from the back, “You get what you need? You gonna need statements?” “Well,” Crash said, “I hope your plan works,” he said looking at me. I pulled my phone out and replayed the recording. It seemed to pick up everything. “That work,” I asked. He nodded. “That works. Now for phase two,” he looked back at Elouise. “You ready to do your part?” She shrugged. “Ain’t like I got much a choice,” she said. “Let’s go play the big damn heroes.” |
| Okay I got a rough draft. It needs a re-write and an edit. But I also have a sick dog. So the day I typically do those things I was cleaning up vomit. It will be Sunday before I get the new update out. Sorry. |
| On occasion life, the universe, God, or whoever up there calling the shots tells me my plans are crap. This is usually done in some dramatic fashion, like having something I need explode before I can use it for example, or having something happen to make a slightly dangerous plan turn suicidal to attempt. The revelation of just how much money that Elouise had stolen from them had made my previous plan the latter. The old plan was that I was going to be bait. My entire job in the old plan was to do what I do best: kick the hornet’s nest and stir up trouble which would give Crash a reason to live up to his name’s sake and crash through the front door, thus saving the day and exposing the entire operation. But the revelation of the stolen cash kind of changed everything. People have been murdered over five bucks before. It happens, and more than you think. Ask a cop sometime, they’ll tell you. Life is cheap for some people. But when it comes to that much cash, someone dangerous is more likely to just bury the bodies, take the cash, and move on. So, being bait to someone who is missing that kind of money is like holding raw meat and jumping in a shark tank. My life expectancy in that plan could have been measured in seconds. So, the old plan was out. But at the moment, we didn’t have anything better. We sort of stared at each other for a few moments, each one of us thinking. Elouise, ran her fingers through her hair, and looked up towards the ceiling. Crash grumbled, and looked downward. I just pulled out my phone and began to mindlessly thumb through apps, but not really opening anything. The old plan was out. We needed a new one. Fast. “Why can’t you just go in there, anyway? Say there was an anonymous tip,” Elouise asked. “Because,” Crash said, “There’s no record of a tip, other than yours. Without that kind of evidence, I’d be arrested for whatever I’d legally be able to do, otherwise.” “I guess I can leave another,” she said. “Say I smelt blood or somethin.” “Not sure it would help,” Crash said. “It’s Barbecue. They deal in meat.” “Hang on,” I looked at Elouise. “Didn’t you say they were into drugs or something? Meth?” “Yeah,” she said. “They were pretty big in the biz goin on down there. Part of why I took the cash and left. I wanted to be small time, they kept pushing things bigger and bigger. Had to control everythin.” “So,” I said, tapping a finger against my chin. “Meth makes quite a stench.” Crash nodded. “It sure does. Takes a lot to clean up a house after it’s been used as a lab for that crap. I’ll go do a stalk and check. I can do those without paperwork.” It wasn’t that long before dusk, so me and Elouise hung out around her place while Crash shifted and did his routine. We expected him to be gone for several hours. I helped her unpack a few things and get her television set up so we could stream a TV show or movie or something. I expected to ignore an “office” marathon while I helped sort nick knacks, and to see him around day break. Instead, he was back before the moon had fully risen, holding a sign reading ‘For Sale By Olseni Realty’. “Who the hell is that,” I asked. He tossed it on the coffee table. “I don’t know. Those are up all over around there on fresh parcels around there. A couple of them are already near closing from some of the signs.” “That’s Marissa and Tarissa, I bet. Olseni is a gator species. It’s their little inside joke,” Elouise said. I rolled my eyes, “Like the twin thing.” She nodded, “Yeah, like the twin thing.” “So,” I said, “this whole damn family is funny.” “Regular jokers,” Crash grumbled. “Who don’t seem all that hygienic.” Elouise and Crash both looked at me. “You smelled the blood,” nodded to Crash. “You even identified the area.” “Yeah, believe it’s human blood, too,” he said. “So,” Elouise asked. “So,” I said, “you can always contact the health department. Have them do an inspection.” “I don’t understand,” Elouise asked. “How will that help?” “Cause,” I replied, “They’ll need an escort.” Crash nodded. “I’ll have to be discreet. Health department and my department aren’t exactly neighborly.” I smirked. “Just ask nicely.” This turned into one of those clusters of stupidity that can only happen in government. Whenever you get a large group of people together and give them regulatory power over another, on occasion you get these pockets of intelligent ignorance. Great means, efforts and minds went into making the dumbest things happen. Studies are done. Money is spent. Contractors are contacted and then you get a bridge that is built halfway to nowhere before it ends. This was one of those bridges. The sweet elderly couple that originally owned the land, Mr. and Ms. Gandiff, were the heart of the neighborhood. They drove an aging Lincoln Town Car, meticulously cared for by Mr. Gandiff. They attended church on Sunday and Wednesday. They smiled at children in the street. On Halloween they handed out full-sized candy bars. On Independence day and before Christmas they invite the entire neighborhood over for a get together. When a gay couple moved in three doors down from them, they didn’t judge or say nasty things. Mr. and Ms. Gandiff instead brought over some of her ‘world famous’ home-made fudge and welcomed them to the neighborhood. Then they disappeared. It was like an A&E special. The disappearance ripped through the neighborhood. After two days of witnessing their Town Car not moving, the police were called. Investigations were made. Video footage of Marissa and Tarissa were seen escorting the couple into a bank. They sat in a waiting area playing on their phones while they spoke to a loan officer. When the loan officer asked the couple if they were under duress, the couple were quick to shake their head and say ‘no’, even attempted a faint smile and a bad joke, but felt something was odd. Especially about the price the couple wanted to sell the land for. So, when the complaint was made to the health department, before Crash could get himself in as the escort, the Sheriff’s department beat him to it. They brought in cadaver dogs. Searched, sniffed, and investigated every square inch of the property. And found nothing. They did manage to get a piece of the floor from the restaurant to send to a lab, but results from that wouldn’t be seen for months. The cadaver dogs didn’t detect much of anything themselves and they didn’t pick up much of anything on Ground Penetrating Radar in the premises. So, what should have been an easy in, turned into a Sheriff and police department spinning their wheels, and the ‘myth’ department literally getting the bones. Crash revealed all of this to me a matter-of-factly. He was used to this. After all, ask any cop, sometimes police work is about playing the long game. He knew they were going to mess up one day. It could take a week. A month. A year. Five years. But sooner or later, they’d give him a reason, and he’d be able to finally enact his vengeance. Imagine a slow, simmering rage in a werewolf waiting five years to unleash on a group of murderers. There wouldn’t be enough soap in the world to wash their remains from the walls when he was done. But I didn’t have the patience to wait five years. The day had just broken when he told all of this to me. I’m sure he expected me to blow up. After all, Elouise and I had been waiting about a week now to hear what had happened. Instead of a simmering rage that burned as bright as the sun rising over the darkened landscape, I got cold. The best way to deal with the most horrible things in the world is to laugh at them. That’s why you’ll see EMT, cops, fire fighters and military having the darkest humor. It’s a stress relief valve so you don’t pop and go insane. But sometimes something so messed up happens that it wipes every joke from you. This was one of those times. “Crash,” I asked, “how much do you have left?” He yawned. “I dunno,” he said. “I’m about to shift, shower, then sleep. Why?” “Cause,” I replied. “I think it’s time we pay our respects to the family. Get Elouise, too.” “I’d be overstepping my bounds,” Crash said. “After all, I can’t just,” “They threatened an elderly couple. I’m willing to bet it was the big guy holding someone. Which means, he was probably in gator mode. Whatever line there that exists was crossed a long fucking time ago.” “Your plan is to give some poor guy or girl the scare of their lives,” he poured himself a cup of coffee as he spoke, then took a werewolf sip, his tongue dipping down like a dogs. “No. My plan is to show their family that there is something far scarier out there stalking what goes bump in the night.” “Let me get a shower and breakfast first. At least their kids will be in school.” |
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