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The quiet things no one ever knows. |
| [Introduction]
In this story, two teenage girls struggle through their own hidden problems. Their biggest fear is for someone to find out, and as the two get closer together, that fear may just come true. idea based on Luckiest Girl in the World by Steven Levenkron, and personal relation. |
| Name/Nickname: Caitlin Bennington Gender: Female Age/Birthday: 15/December 27th Grade: 11 Personality: Reserved, quiet, mysterious, and elegant. She naturally attracts people to her even though she most often wishes to be alone. Her soul is very beautiful if not a little shut up; she keeps her emotions hidden from everyone and therefore they don't know what she's capable of. She tries to be friendly, though she has no actual friends. People just assume she has them, though no one ever sees her with any. Appearance: Caitlin is 5'8", tall yet petite and thin; the perfect figure of a ballet dancer. She has long, slightly wavy black hair to her chest, and fragile features. She has large, bright blue eyes framed with long dark eyelashes, and soft, full lips and a pretty smile accented by two small dimples. She's graceful and elegant; everything about her is beautiful, almost ethereal. She usually wears form-fitting jeans and long sleeved nice fitting shirts or blouses; simple, casual clothes. Family: Dawna(43)-Caitlin's mom, constantly pushing her to be her best as a ballet dancer. Dave(45)-Divorced Dawna when Caitlin was at a young age and hardly visits or talks to her. Likes: Dancing when she's not being pressured, music, reading, Shakespeare, school. Dislikes: Her mom, her dad, dancing when she's being pressured, and prying adults, having no friends. Talents: Dancing and school work (she got into the school on scholarship) Problem: cutting History: Dawna put Cailtin into ballet as soon as she was old enough to walk. So for as long as Caitlin can remember, her life has revolved around ballet. She's never had any close friends, though she's always gotten along well with the kids at school. Caitlin hardly remembers her dad. ------------------------------------------------- September Caitlin lost her balance and stumbled, falling with a thump to the hard dance floor. The music for her routine continued on, and her mother stormed up from the seats. "You're hopeless! What is wrong with you, Caitlin? Can't you get anything right?" Dawna grabbed Caitlin by the arm and yanked her to her feet with enough force to dislocate Caitlin's shoulder. Caitlin bowed her head. "I'm sorry Mom, it won't happen again." "You're damn right it won't, I'm paying a fine coach to teach you how to be a proper dancer so you can make something of your life, start your future..." Oh god, here came the future speech again. Caitlin felt herself losing it. Soon she would have to grab her bag and search for a place to be alone... Caroline, Caitlin's coach, glided over from her spot by the tape player to where Caitlin and her mom were standing. "Non, non, non, madam, there is no problem. The child is allowed to make mistakes, it is how she does learn, yes? A new routine is calling for more mistakes to be made; with much practice Caitlin will fly!" Caroline said, her voice heavy with her French accent. Dawna pulled herself up to her full 5 feet and 11 inches (with the help of her heels), and glared down at the petite Caroline before she deflated, realising that she couldn't afford to lose such an expert coach. That was a close one. Caitlin felt the need to cut slowly fade away as she took deep breaths to calm herself and her mother stormed back to the seats. The music was rewound. |
| Name/Nickname: Janet Carter/Ghost Gender: Female Age/Birthday: 15/Febuary 29 Grade: 11 Personality: Quiet and reserved in the halls. Keeps to herself, but isn't afraid to speak her mind about everything but herself, though no one listens. Easily disappears into a crowd since she feels that no one sees her anyway, and in a way she likes it like that. Though her friends are few and far between. Exceptionally smart, she pushes herself in all her classes, having all Honors and AP classes. Even with skipping grades in elementary school, she feels dumb and inadequate because High school isn't going by fast enough for her. Appearance: With black hair and violet eyes, Janet has a striking appearance that could make her the most popular girl in school with the right attitude and clothing. As it stands, she tends to have a somber theme to her wardrobe; black, blue, purple and white. She tends to wear rather unassuming clothes or blouses that wouldn't look out of place in the renaissance fair or Victorian era. She's always covered from neck to ankle, in mostly form fitting clothes that totally accents her growing curves while hiding her skin at the same time. "Ghost or Gothic" type appearance though she doesn't wear black makeup. On the contrary, she wears regular cover girl with baked apple red lipstick and berry gloss, knowing how to not only bring out the color in her face without looking like she has a pound of make-up on, but also to cover the black eyes and other bruises she has from time to time. Family: mother, Sophia (35): absolute perfectionist and homemaker with her own business that she runs from home so that she can take care and devote time to her children. She thinks anything less than perfect is unholy, her religion being that of being as perfect as one can be. Father, Harold (35): Thinks that Sophia is the apple of his eye as the two have the same views on the world about everything including the raising of their children. Business man himself, he sees children need strong upbringings with firm hands and strict controls. He feels that the way children are and act are a direct reflection of the parents- in a sense, bad children means bad parents and very poor parenting. Gloria(7): Janet's little sister, much like her the way she was at that age, Gloria is in fourth grade to the delights of the parents, though Gloria's only friend is her older sister. She often goes to the high school to wait for her sister to get out so that they can go to the library together. Likes: Gloria, books, art, history, playing the rock music on the violin, being away from home Dislikes: Parents, home in general, having to play anything her parents tell her is 'proper music', gum. Talents: Music, art, science, academics in general. Problem: Very abusive parents. History: A virtual prodigy, Janet pushes herself to be perfect in everything, fearing failure and the beatings that it brings her. Playing four instruments and having several pieces of art work in her father's galleries does nothing to make her parents show affection towards her, just about her. Finds solace in playing the violin as she finds most of her emotion can be found in the strings. Will often carry the case around with her to play after school before she and her sister head to the library. There was a warm breeze across the expanse of the school campus as Janet exited the school. "Hi Gracie," Janet said, placing her bag down on the steps that led into the school. "Hola, Janet," Grace replied. Then continuing on in Spanish, she added, "Will you play before we go?" Janet nodded, kneeling down to take out her violin and tuned it a bit before leaning on the railing. "Since today we speak Spanish, I will play a tune from Spain little sister," Janet replied also in Spanish. She brought the violin to her cheek and drew out the first somber note. Finding the strings pliable, she warmed the instrument with a few more notes before going into a melody for her little sister. The ruffles on her shirt cuffs and collar his the bruises on her wrists and around her neck, and even with the stiffness and the soreness she felt in the fresh ones on her back, she played well enough to be called excellent. She missed a few notes, but kept going, this being the only time that she could allow such mistakes to go unnoticed, as her sister was her only audience, being the last one to leave the school for the day. Grace sat watching her big sister, her own instrument in it's case as she just started to become proficient with the viola. |
| Caitlin walked up the school steps with just enough time to get to her locker and her first class after having her morning ballet class. She had done well enough not to have her mother scream at her, and she had actually slightly enjoyed the time. As Caitlin walked through the halls she made it a point to smile and greet at least three people. "Hi Sylvia." Caitlin smiled to a girl in her Science class. "Hey Caitlin, how's it goin?" Sylvia returned. "Hi Amy." Caitlin smiled to a girl in her English class, who smiled back and kept going. "Hey Carter." Caitlin smiled to a guy in her math class, who was walking by with his friend. He didn't reply, and as he walked by, Caitlin distincly heard his conversation with his friend. "Know how she always manages straight A's?" Carter asked his friend. "Because she's smart?" his friend said. "No, I know for a fact that she fucks the principal." Caitlin's eyes widened and she fought the impulse to turn around and say something. She felt a slight tremble begin to course its way through her body. She was almost at her locker now. Don't think about it, just don't think about it, you'll make it, you're almost there... But the feeling was getting too strong for Caitlin. Her breathing was coming in quick, short gasps, and right in front of her locker she made a quick turn to her left and rushed to the bathroom, her bag hung securly over her shoulder. Once in the empty bathroom, Caitlin locked herself in a stall, reached into her bag, and pulled out her little pair of scissors. They were scissors she had stolen from her mom's sewing kit that she used to make and repair Caitlin's outfits. When she discovered cutting two years ago, they had become her only friend. Cailtin carefully unfolded the little peice of material they were wrapped in, and then slowly pulled up her sleeve, exposing her arm covered in white and red scars. As she brought the blade of the scissor to a clear space on her arm, and dragged it down and across her skin, her breathing slowly returned to normal and her silent tears stopped falling. When she was done, she carefully wiped the blood off the blade and dabbed at the blood on her arm. Slowly and articulately, she ripped off a small piece of toilet paper and pressed it to the cut. The wet blood acted as adhesive, holding the toilet paper to her skin. Then, making sure that it was securely covered and not bleeding enough to go through her shirt, she placed her scissors back in her bag and pulled down her sleeve. Standing up, Caitlin gathered herself together with a deep breath before leaving the bathroom for class, knowing she was late. |
| Yesterday had gone well enough with her afternoon music lessons, but she was late; it wasn’t her fault that the buses were slower than usual. She snuck in, Gracie was in the clear and to her room before her father came out and saw her in the hall. Janet’s mind was on the night before when Carter passed within hearing range. If there wasn't one person in the vicinity of the hallway that didn't hear Carter's comment, Janet didn't know who. The jerk had said it loud enough for everyone to hear. It startled Janet out of her thoughts, and she saw several girls look to be on the brink of tears. Opening her locker, she set her violin case down so that she could change her books. With her foot, she pushed the case out into the passageway where Carter tripped unceremoniously over it. She gave a slight grin, and turned around, frowning deeply as she did so. "Watch where you're going!" Janet said, retrieving her case to lean against the locker. "Watch where you place your junk, slut!" Carter said standing up. Seeing who it was, he grinned. "Oh, it's you, on second thought, no wonder I tripped. I didn't think that you were actually there, Ghost." His friend laughed. "Funny, I'm surprised that you could even see past that big nose of yours," she said turning back to her locker. "I do NOT have a big nose!" "Then big ears then," Janet said closing her locker and picking up her case. She looked at him. "It's either you sniff out garbage, or you hear things that aren't there," Janet said. Then, getting a wicked gleam in her eye, she glanced around to some of the others who were at their lockers. "Or is it that you like Girls, and I'm less of a 'ghost' than you are?" Slamming her locker closed, Janet strode off, leaving him wondering what her words meant. Ducking into the girl's bathroom, she went to the mirror to check her makeup. There was no way to get excused from gym class, and she always needed to make sure that the fresh bruise that she had on her cheek from being late last night was sufficiently covered. She brought out her bag, and checking to make sure no one was in the bathroom, washed off all of the make-up with cleaner that she carried before re-applying foundation, cover up and lip stick. She heard a noise coming from one of the stalls and frowned, putting away the cover-all before anyone could see. |
| Caitlin was dozing in class. She wasn't taking in a word the teacher was saying. Instead, she was thinking about in the bathroom that morning. It had been a close call, finding that girl standing at the sinks when she had let herself out of the stall. Caitlin thought the girls name was Janet or something. She often heard people calling her Ghost. Was it just in Caitlin's mind, or had she seen the shadow of hidden bruises on Janet's face and neck? Caitlin did doubt her own sanity. She knew there was something wrong with her. Maybe a high possibility she was crazy. Was she starting to imagine things now? Was she making images in her mind that other people had problems too? Or had she really seen bruises? It was hard to tell. If they were there, they were covered under layers of makeup. Or maybe they WERE makeup. Caitlin shook her head and sat up straight, hearing the teacher call her name. "Caitlin? Could you tell me the answer?" Caitlin's English teacher was looking at her with a concerned look. Her Math teacher was young; maybe in her mid or late 20's. She was nice, and Caitlin's favorite teacher. But sometimes she was a little too nice. Caitlin needed to be yelled at sometimes. What was it about her that made everyone so nice? Well, that wasn't true. Carter hadn't been nice that morning. And her mother wasn't nice. And obviously there was something about her that her father hadn't liked, either. "Caitlin? Are you alright?" Ms. MacPhee asked when Caitlin didn't answer, but sat there staring at her. Caitlin blinked and cleared her mind. "Sorry? Oh, I'm fine. Um, the answer? 16 over C squared." Caitlin answered. Ms. MacPhee looked at Caitlin for a moment longer, a questioning look in her eyes. Caitlin started to wonder if she was wrong. But a moment later, the teacher smiled and turned back to the board. "That is correct." she said, writing the answer on the board and going on to explain something to the class and Caitlin sank back into her thoughts. After class, Caitlin was hurrying through the hallway to her next lesson. She was lost in her thoughts again when she slammed into someone and both her books and the books of the other person went flying. "Oh god, I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention, I-" Caitlin started, running around to pick up the books. "Hey, don't worry about it. It was my fault too." Caitlin looked up to see who it was as she handed their books back to them. It was Joey; she knew his name because he was one of the popular guys. He was going out with Ashley, who Caitlin knew from a couple of her classes. "You cut yourself?" Joey asked, and Caitlin's breath caught in her throat. How could he possibly know? Joey took his books from Caitlin and pointed at a dark red spot on her sleeve. "What happened?" Caitlin quickly brought her arm back and hid it against her side, realising that he didn't know at all. "Just a scratch, I'm so clumsy sometimes," she smiled at Robert. "Anyway, sorry again." Caitlin walked quickly away from Joey. Two close calls in one morning? She was really getting careless. |
| Janet grabbed her books that she would need for homework and stuffed them into her bag. The school had a 'sudden' half-day, a teacher conference or something, so she suddenly found herself with spare time before music lessons that afternoon. She went down the steps to see Gloria just running up the steps from crossing the street with her viola case flying just behind her. "You get a half day too, huh," Janet said with the hint of a smile. Gloria nodded with a grin and the two stopped at the bottom of the stairs, a sea of kids flowing around them as they left the grounds. "Play something happy?" Gloria asked. Janet smiled, and set down her violin case, opening it to take out her prized instrument. She checked her case for an extra string, and satisfied, she warmed up the instrument with a song in mind. Once warmed, Janet went into playing songs from Metallica, starting with Unforgiven and 'Black'. Gloria, brightening, brought out her viola and once she found the cord, joined in with her sister in playing rock on their instruments. A small crowd formed around them, kids with nothing to do but hang out a few minutes before going home. Janet looked up to see the girl she saw in the bathroom that morning. What was her name? Caitlin, she thought. For a moment she wondered if the girl had seen any of her bruises. Mentally shaking her head, she dipped her violin for a chord to get her thoughts back on to the song. There was no way that the bruises show. She was perfect. Her teachers hadn't said anything, and she would know as soon as she got home if they did. She looked at Caitlin as she watched the two girls play. Well, she supposed that she should try to make a friend. At the end of the song, she looked down to Gloria for a moment before going over to Caitlin. "Hi," Janet said once she was face to face with the girl. "Um...I'm Janet. This is my sister Gloria," she said waving back to her little sister as she put away her viola. "Um, this probably sounds crazy, and you can say no if you want," Janet said as the crowd dispersed, "But well, I was wondering if we could hang out sometime? Like at the library or something." Suddenly, she had aan urge to check her makeup to make sure that she really didn't have any bruises showing. But no- Gloria would have told her if she did. She awaited Catlin's reply, not really knowing what to expect. |
| Caitlin was taken aback, and it took her a moment to answer. She just stood there staring at Janet before she blinked and responded. "Oh! Oh, god, I'm sorry, I- I have a really busy schedule, you know, with all my lessons and stuff. I would really like to, but, you know, I just don't really think I would have the time..." Caitlin said. She was sorry, and you could tell. She really wanted to hang out with Janet. She seemed like a nice girl, and Caitlin didn't have any friends. But she knew her schedule wouldn't allow her to have friends. They would just get in the way. "Oh, okay, well that's fine. See you later I guess." Janet said, and she and her sister had already started walking away when Caitlin called out to her. "Wait!" Caitlin said. Janet and her sister stopped and turned around. "I...my mom doesn't know its half-day today. We could hang out now, if you'd like?" Caitlin said. "Oh, well, me and my sister were going to have some music lessons this afternoon." Janet said. "I love music! You two are really great. I wouldn't mind listening." Caitlin didn't know why she was practically begging like this. She was probably making a fool of herself. Janet probably didn't want to hang out with her. She was probably thinking that it had been a mistake to ask her to hang out. But she liked the feeling of knowing someone wanted to hang out with her. Most people knew about her busy schedule so they didn't even bother asking her to do something. "Alright." Janet said, a slight smile on her face. Caitlin grinned and hurried towards Janet and her younger sister. |
| "So...do you know of any place to go?" Janet said as the three made their way away from the school. Caitlin thought a moment and shook her head. "Sorry, I usually have a really busy schedule with all my lessons and all, so I don't really get out much," Caitlin said wishing she knew more. Janet just shrugged. "I know what you mean. Half-days that my parents don't know about are like ambrosia." Gloria giggled. "Really? Why?" Caitlin asked thinking on what ambrosia was; something to do with Greek myths was all she could remember. "Because of my oh-so-busy schedule," Janet shrugged. "Mom and Dad have us in all kinds of lessons and after school stuff," Gloria said holding up her viola case. "Today, and all weekend we have music lessons with our instruments, as well as tutors who come by and give us extra language lessons." Gloria sighed. "Tomorrow, being Saturday, we'll be speaking Italian all day, though there are still some words I don't know." "You guy can speak Italian?" Caitlin asked. Janet frowned. "Italian, German, French, Spanish, and of course, English," Janet said solemnly. If she was bragging, it didn't sound like it. She looked at Caitlin. "So with all the lessons you go to, what do you learn?" "Dancing," Caitlin said a wisp of a smile coming to her face. Janet stopped and stared. She shook her head and hopped a few steps to catch back up. "Really?" she said, running her fingers through her hair. "Sounds fun." "It is, most of the time I suppose," Caitlin said, looking around. "Mostly when my mom's not there." "Telling you what to do, how to act, to be better, to scold," Janet put in. Caitlin looked at the girl from the side of her eyes. "Yeah, I know the feeling." They turned down the block to find themselves both near familiar areas. Up the street a ways near the park was the dance studio that Caitlin had her lessons, and across the way from that where Janet and Gloria had theirs. "Can we go to the park?" Gloria asked pointing to the playground. Janet was quiet a moment. "Please?" "Okay, I guess," she looked over at Caitlin. Caitlin shrugged and led the way across the street. "Just don't get dirty. Father would be very displeased if you got dirty." Gloria became very somber and nodded, going off towards the swings with her viola in tow. "That's where I take lessons," Caitlin said pointing across the street. "Ballet?" Janet said seeing the toe shoes painted on a sign. Caitlin nodded. Janet smiled, "I would love to see a rehearsal. I really like the music that goes along with it. Janet nodded to a simple building across the way cat-cornered to the dance studio. "We have our classes there. I never knew you went to the ballet school. Cool." |
| By they time they were done at the park, it was almost 3:00, at which time Caitlin's mom would be picking her up from the school to take her to her ballet lesson. Caitlin said a hurried goodbye to Janet and her sister, and, feeling like a normal kid for once in her life, she sprinted back to the school. She arrived to sit on the front steps just moments before her mom pulled up. "Hurry up, we're late already." Dawna said as Caitlin slipped into the car with her bag. She glanced at the clock, which showed 3:06 pm. Her lesson started at 3:15, and it took them 5 minutes to drive there. So, by Dawna's standards, they were one minute late. "Sorry." Caitlin said, not feeling up to arguing with her mom. Not that she ever did. But she had had a good afternoon for once in her life, and she didn't want to ruin things. They arrived at the ballet building, and Caitlin couldn't stop herself from looking to the building across from it where Janet and her sister were most likely taking music lessons at that exact minute. "What are you looking at? Get in here." Dawna said, holding the door open for Caitlin. Caitlin apologized and hurried into the building, heading straight for the change rooms. In the change rooms, Caitlin slipped into her black long-sleeved nylon outfit, with no material over the legs and a hole in each sleeve for her thumb to poke through. She jammed her feet into her worn, white ballet slippers and twisted and tied the silky ribbons around her ankles. Caitlin twisted her long hair into a tight and elegant bun at the back of her head, and a few strands immediatly fell loose. Making sure her arms were securely covered, Caitlin hurried out to the stage, where she was hit once again with the familiar bright spotlight. "Beethoven!" Caroline grinned after her greeting, and, with a flourish of her hands, she bent bracefully and turned on the tape player, where Beethoven music danced out. "You know the routine, petite dame!" Caroline called, and Caitlin did. She took her first pose, balanced up on point, her chin up and her neck long, her arms out straight at shoulder height, her face angled to the side, and waited for the cue in the music. It came, and she started off the routine with a graceful, perfect pirouette. |
| The violin lesson ended at five o'clock sharp. Janet's mom waited impatiently for her and Gloria to gather their papers and put away their instruments, all the while smiling serenely at the instructor as they did so. He gave them both a bat on the head and disappeared into an interior room, leaving the three alone. The mother glared at them, and they hurried, not wanting to feel the rate of her ire any more than they were already. Once they were in the car, Sophia turned and looked at them. "Wait until we get home," she said quietly. She was really mad, the calm and quiet tone of her voice only emphasizing it. Gloria and Janet looked at each other from the side of their eyes, but dared not move their heads from facing forward. "Your father and I have a few words for you." Sophia turned and started the car, heading home near the better part of town-or at least what Sophia called the better part of town. Because the ride was in complete silence, it seemed longer than it actually was. It always did. As Sophia drove up the driveway and parked the car, she seemed to move slower than she did, punctuating each motion with a pause at the beginning and end. She turned off the engine and waited until the car relaxed before taking the keys out; she rested her hand on the door a moment before opening it, and again before stepping out. She paused and looked at the house before turning to open the back doors to herd Janet and Gloria out, pausing again before telling them to leave their instruments in the car. She herded them inside, past the foyer, and into the living room where Harold, their father stood staring into the freshly lit fireplace, a decanter open on the mantle, and a snifter in his hand and he rested on an elbow that perched on the mantel near the fire. In his free hand, he had a book. Gloria's eyes went wide and moved to go get the book, but Janet held her sister back by the gentlest of tugs on the back of her blouse. "Gloria," he said in a mockingly sweet voice, "Gloria, what is this?" He asked holding it up. The cover said, "The adventures of Alice in Wonderland." "A...a...a book sir," she said meekly. "I can see it's a book," he said frowning and putting up the glass of brandy. He turned to the girls, Sophia standing at his right wearing a matching grimace. "What kind of book is it?" When she didn't answer, he continued. "Is it a history book?" Gloria shook her head. "Is it a biography perhaps? Or a reference book?" Gloria shook her head again, "Perhaps a philosophy book." Again, she shook her head. "I know, Gloria," he said, bending over to be inches away from her face, "Is it a work of fiction?" Slowly, Gloria nodded her head. "What kind of fiction is it Gloria?" he asked his voice very unpleasant. "It's a fantasy story, father," she said in the barest of whispers. "That's right, and what did I say about such stories?" he said holding the book up between them, so that the label that indicated it was borrowed from the library was readable." "That they are the work of the devil," Gloria answered in an even smaller voice. Janet broke in, recognizing the look in her father's eyes. "Father, it’s my fault," Janet said, bring her father's face and wrath to her. She stiffened her resolve and with the barest of touched to her sister, told her not to say a word. "There was a boy at the library near the tables where we do out homework that left the book there. When he didn't return it, I picked it up and was going to put it on the cart. But my curiosity got the best of me, and I read the first page. It seemed innocent enough with the girl named Alice going on a picnic, so I borrowed it to read before going to sleep. Gloria wanted to read as well, so I sat in her room for an hour before bedtime as we read the story. We hadn't gotten far though sir." "You know the rules, Janet," said glaring down at the younger daughter. "Both you and Gloria knowingly broke them this time. Are you claiming full responsibility for this?" Janet's lip quivered. "Yes sir," she managed to say. "Very well," he turned to Sophia. Sophia took Gloria roughly by the arm up the stairs to her room. Janet started to take off her shirt, stripping to the waist, her chest covered by just her brazier; her skin was mottled with areas from yellow to brown, old bruises just beginning to disappear. As Gloria was shoved forcefully into her room, she caught sight of Janet as her father's hand came down on her back, using the book as a blunt object to drive home his punishment. Gloria tiptoed to the end of the hallway as soon as her mother was out of sight. She looked down the staircase, hoping to catch a glimpse of Janet and their father. Every once in a while, a sharp scream could be heard from the den, but by the time that Gloria made her way within sight of the doorway, the noise had ended. She ran back to her room at the sound of footsteps. Peeking out through a slit in the door, she could see Father carrying Janet up the staircase to her room. He whispered gently to her, in a comforting sort of way, though Janet didn’t look at all consoled. She just stared out away from him, her eyes glazed over with unshed tears. “I’m proud of you, you know,” Gloria heard him say; “Protecting Gloria is a sister’s duty. But you can’t protect her forever. Do you want her to grow up spoiled? You can’t take all of her punishments as well as your own.” He sounded sorry, but Janet seemed lost in her pain. He then disappeared into the room, coming out moments later and closing the door, turning to walk back down to the Den. Once she heard his crisp footsteps on the tile at the bottom of the stairs, she darted from her room to Janet’s; inside, her sister sat up in bed, her back red and swollen from top to bottom. Gloria crept inside, going to the teen, afraid of finding something really bad. Janet looked at her, and reached out; Gloria went to the arms and found herself caught up in a fierce hug. Janet held her sister tightly, tears streaming down into Gloria’s hair. The younger sister thought on how much it must hurt her to do so, so she just held on to her sister’s arms, the only spot with minimal bruising. |
| While most peoples weekends were filled with parties and fun, all Caitlin had ever known on her weekends were ballet lessons and homework. The phone in their home was barely ringing, and when it was, it was always for Dawna. But this Saturday night was different. The phone rang not long after supper, just as Caitlin was taking a seat at the kitchen table with her homework. She glanced in the direction of the phone, which was laying on the kitchen counter, but otherwise ignored it, knowing it wouldn't be for her. Dawna answered it, and Caitlin perked when she handed it over to her, thinking maybe it was Janet. But Caitlin's shoulders slumped again as she heard the voice on the other end. "Hey sweetie pie," her father said. Caitlin didn't answer. "You there hun?" Dave asked. "Yes." Caitlin said. "Listen sweetie, how would you like it if I came into town next weekend? We could have a father-daughter day. Sound good?" "It's been almost two years since I've seen you, dad." Caitlin said. She couldn't believe her had the guts to ask her out for a 'father-daughter' weekend. "I know hun, I know, that's why I thought it would be fun to spend a little time together, you know, I-" "No, dad. I don't think so." Caitlin said, and handed the phone over to her mom, who hadn't left the kitchen. "Dave?" Caitlin listened to her mothers side of the conversation. "Do you know what you're doing to the poor girl? .....ME?! What do you- .....Don't you dare get me started on that, David! .....As soon as Caitlin gets her act together, she is going to be famous, and the world is going to know all about how she made it without her father, with her mother helping her along every step of the way, how- .....I don't want to hear from you again, David. And neither does Caitlin. We're all a lot better off without you in our lives." And with that, Dawna hung up the phone, turning back around. Her face was an angry red, and she was breathing hard and deep. "Sit up straight! And get that homework done, we can't afford to have your grades slip." Dawna snapped, and stormed out of the kitchen. |
| Gloria entered Janet's room with a bowl of cereal and some instant hot-cocoa on a tray, shuffling towards her sister's bed so as not to spill a drop of the hot chocolate or cold milk. Janet, on her stomach, watched her little sister make her way across the carpeted floor from the door, only willing herself to get up when Gloria reached her side with the food. Her night shirt covered the bruises, though her movements betrayed the pain in them. "Thank you," Janet said hoarsely to her sister, at least managing a smile. Gloria nodded, and as soon at the tray was stable on Janet's lap, she sat on the bed, taking up the mug of cocoa. Janet then noticed that there were two. "Have you eaten?" Gloria nodded, looking at Janet over the rim of the mug. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." "Mom and Dad are gone for the weekend," Gloria said finally. "Aunt Millicent came early this morning to watch over us. They said that they both had buisness to take care of elsewhere." Janet wolfed down the cornflakes quickly, not wanting to eat them soggy; she hated soggy cornflakes, and didn't want to get into trouble for having food go to waste. She raised her eyebrows at the news. "They gave me instructions to pass to you when you woke. They said to behave, or they will find out about it. Father said that he'll make last night seem like a walk in the park if you don't behave and be good. And not tell Aunt Millicent anything that she doesn't ask about." Janet nodded, drinking down the milk carefully. Millicent entered a smile on her young face. "Morning kids," she said with a cheery smile. They both gave a very practiced plastic smile. "Morning Aunt Millicent," they chimed in unison. "Oh, no, just Millie," she said waving her hands. "I'm not old enough to be 'Millicent'. Well, my brother left a list of instructions for me, but how about we forget them for now and get to know each other a bit more, eh?" The two looked at each other. "What about our lessons?" Juliet asked, snapping her mouth shut, realizing that she had just went against her father's wishes already. Millie smiled. "Don't worry, We'll have all your lessons at the park today," she said looking out the window. "It's such a lovely day to waste spending indoors. I've made a call to all the tutors on the list and they will be meeting us there. And..since your music lessons are just across the street from the park, you can bring your instruments too." She smiled. "Now, chop chop! The day's a-wasting!" She said with a clap, taking the tray from Janet. Feeling there was definitely something different with her aunt from her parents, she bit her lip before venturing out. She figured if she was going to get into trouble, this was worth getting in trouble for. "Millie," she said as her aunt neared the door. "Hummm?" "Can I um, invite a friend?" "Of course dear," Millie said exiting. "After all, what's a day in the park without friends," she sung down the hall. "I wish she was our mom," Gloria whispered, laying her head in Janet's lap. Janet nodded in agreement. "Are you going to ask Caitlin to come?" Janet nodded. "We can all do our homework there," Janet said with a smile. "I hope that her mom will let her." "Well, if she doesn't right off, tell her that Caitlin will have the help of a private tutor," Gloria said making a funny face and grinning. "I don't think that any parent could say no to free lessons." Janet laughed. "Your right about that." Janet sighed and hoped that Caitlin coud come; and if she could come, that they wouldn't have to spend the whole day doing homework. Like every day. |
| Caitlin's mother was the one to answer the phone when it rang. Again, she listened to her mother's side of the conversation. "Hello?....May I ask who is speaking?....A friend? I'm sorry, Caitlin is not able to come to the phone right now. She has to finish her homework....I am afraid that isn't possible, her schedule is very busy....Well I am glad you understand. I will let her know you called. Goodbye." But when she left the kitchen and passed Caitlin from her spot in the couch with her book containing the three chapters she had to read for Monday, Dawna didn't say a word. ------------------------------------------------- "There is no rush, petite dame!" Caroline called as Caitlin struggled through her morning class. Her mind was still jammed with the memory of her mother keeping the information of Janet's phone call from her. Of course, she was only assuming that it was Janet, but she was at least 99% sure it was her. Because of this, Caitlin couldn't concentrate on her routine or the music, and she was at least a beat and a half ahead of it. "Perhaps you stretch, yes?" Caroline said, stopping the music. Caitlin nodded silently and headed to the bar, where she stretched her legs. "We don't have time for this Caitlin, get your act together!" Caitlin heard her mother snap from the her seat. With one last stretch, Caitlin hurried back out to center stage. Caroline pressed play and counted her into her first step. "And one-two-three-four, five-six-seven-eight.." Caitlin hit the first pirouette, no problem. She nailed the jete, easily. But her muscles froze on the next move. Her slippered foot stumbled and her arms swung like windmills to regain her balance. Keeping her face expressionless as stone, she caught her place. Into her next move, her mothers scowl stuck in her minds eye. One-two, three-four, five-six, seven-eight... The counts repeated themselves in Cailtin's mind. "Loose, Caitlin! You are much too tense!" Caroline called, studying her from her spot beside the tape player. Caitlin attempted to relax her muscles. This was not one of her more-enjoyed dancing times. And to think that the big performance was up in six weeks, with the auditions only a week away. |
| "Again, from the top." Janet and Gloria counted the beat in their head, following their teacher's conducting, along with nearly all of his other students. Apparently, there was a rehearsal of some sort coming up, and he was asked to conduct for them. And he wanted all of his students to play. All of them. Janet and Gloria knew that their parents would only approve if they got solos. They sighed and went through the measure again, going over each note for what must have been the hundredth time. When they were finally given a break, their aunt clapped along with a lot of the parents of other kids from the back of the class. "I want more practice from all of you," the teacher said with a disapproving frown. "I want perfection. Today, I want the strings to stay back one hour. No charge to the parents," he said glancing to the back, knowing that was what some of them were thinking. "We will work on their solo for the preformance." "It's too bad Caitlin couldn't come," Gloria said as she pushed through and made her way to the door several hours later. The sun was just setting, and it seemed the lights were just starting to take hold in the neighborhood. "Yeah, hanging out before that grueling session would have been nice," Janet replied, sticking her case next to Gloria's in the trunk. "From the way that her mom sounded though, I doubt that getting her tickets to the 'rehearsal' would be a good idea either. Caitlin would be too busy." Janet sighed. She wished she could talk to her mom to see, but she knew what her mom would say; 'You have better things to do than to hang out with your friends.' She sighed again, and looked out the window to watch the lights pass along as they headed home. |
| Caitlin hurried up the front steps of the school with her bag bouncing against her back as she tugged an elastic out of her hair, letting it fall loosely around her shoulders. Her mother had her on a tight schedule, and her morning dance lessons just barely gave her time to get to first period on time. Her long legs took the steps two at a time, but she froze at the door. The reason for the blockage was a boy in the grade above her. She recognized him instantly, but had never spoken to him before and until this point had thought he hadn't even been aware of her existance. He was standing in front of the door she had been about to enter through, the door which hadn't been blocked a moment ago. He was good-looking, no one could deny that. His name was Brad, and he was one of handful of boys that belonged to the cheerleaders. A jock. And what he was doing, staring at Caitlin like that, she had no idea. "Hey, what's the rush?" He asked casually, and Caitlin stopped in her tracks. Slightly out of breath and pushing her hair out of her eyes, she glanced awkwardly at Brad. "Um, class. I don't want to be late." Caitlin replied without looking at him, but rather side-stepping to get through the other door. However, he side-stepped with her, continuing to block her way. "Chill out, girl. There's no need to rush. The bell hasn't rung yet." "Yea, well, I try to get there before it rings." At Caitlin's comment, Brad raised his eyebrow at her with a sceptical look. "So, you mean to say that you actually get to class on time and do your work? That's how you get top grades?" "Yes... I don't see how else I would get them." Caitlin's face was beginning to burn, and she knew what Brad was thinking, and she didn't want to hear what she thought was going to take place next. She made another attempt to get through the door, only to again be blocked. "Well you see, I heard that you... do little favours. To get your grades. And I'm kinda in the need of a little favour myself. I was wondering if you could help me out." Brad's eyes were wandering up and down Caitlin in a very uncomfortable way, stopping in places she wished they wouldn't. "I mean, you don't have much on top, but you've got a pretty nice ass and I definately wouldn't mind getting a piece of it." Brad's eyes were at hers now, but she didn't like the look they had. "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but I really do need to go," Caitlin said, her breathing becoming rushed and uneven and a slow tingling spreading throughout her body. "Come on baby, don't go. I can give you something in return. You know, you have great potential to be popular. It could happen," Brad said. Caitlin didn't know why he was doing this, she knew he was dating Sabrina. And if Sabrina ever knew he was doing this... she didn't want to think about it. "I do NOT know what you're talking about, and I really DO need to go. Now excuse me." Forcefully, Caitlin pushed past him and squeezed through the door. She sprinted down the hall at full speed, heading for the bathroom rather then her first class, which she knew she would now be late for. But her breathing was becoming painful and she was shaking so much she could barely control herself. She needed to calm down, and there was only one way to do it. |
| The fastest minutes of the day was those five that you get between classes- and lunch. Sitting in the classrooms listening to the teachers just drone on was like listening to cats sing on fences. Even the extracurricular class of music that Janet took was dull. She sat near the back of the class listening to various students at various levels of proficency with three other students- whom had their own personal instruments as well since they went to the same tutor after school. While they went over the up coming rehersal, Janet just sat there looking at the rest of the class while they played either abismally or so well they actually had a chance at Julliard. She gave a wry grin at one of the students with the flute as his notes seemed to float on an invisible breeze. "And he doesn't even have a private tutor," she thought as he went through a rendition on an excerpt from the Nutcracker. Usually, she was practicing her violin, or as today would have it, the flute. She looked down at the sheet of music in front of her given by the teacher and gave a small sigh. It looked like an up beat melody. At the moment, she doubted she could match Aaron's tone on the flute, so she sat quietly, paitently waiting her turn before the teacher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Janet looked at her watch as she sat on the steps. Her aunt would be picking her up soon, and as her parents weren't back from their trip, she wanted to stay in Millie's good graces. She took out her flute and put it together, thinking of the notes that she could play as she pulled out each peice. Once it was together, she brought it up to her lips and blew tenatively over the hole. After dancing out a basic scale, she looked over to see one of the girls from her history class. If Janet remembered, she was new and didn't talk. She gave a small smile in greeting, and Janet returned it, remembering what her name was. "You’re...Kate," She said in a questioning manner, "Right?" Kate nodded in response. She mimicked playing the flute and smiled. Janet thought a moment. "Okay," she said slowly, guessing at Kate's meaning, "But I can't promise a happy tune." And with that, Janet started to play, the notes coming out in an airy melody, with a feeling of a heavy weight of fog, yet hopeful like a summer drizzle. Kate smiled, and Janet wondered if the silent girl was feeling the same way as she did about life. A boy came around the corner of the building and Kate got up. When Janet saw him, she stopped mid-note and put her flute away quickly. As he neared, she stood and moved to leave, turning to Kate quickly. "I hoped you liked it," Janet said with a smile, but fear dancing over her features. She didn't like the look the boy had and wanted to disappear. Luckily, she could see her aunt's car near the gate. She gave a quick wave, running across the parking lot, giving the guy a mile-wide berth to keep out of his possible range. She wanted to take no chances. "Who was that dear?" her aunt asked as they pulled away and Janet looked back to see the guy on the steps staring at her in the car. Kate was nowhere to be found. "No-one aunt Millie," Janet replied. "Just a boy from school." "Oh, alright, then." She replied. "As soon as we make a quick stop by the house, I'll take you and Gloria to your music class." "Thank you," Janet replied. "No worries dear, I know how much you enjoy your music. I saw you playing as I drove up. Her aunt smiled at her through the rear view mirror. "Yes, well, It's a lot of fun." "Are you going to go to college for it?" her aunt asked. "College? For music? What Could I possibly do that for?" janet asked. "My college applications are all to top notch schools so that I can be a doctor or a lawyer. I haven't decided which yet." "Oh, why that?" "To...to...help people I guess..." Janet replied. She grew somber then, not answering her aunt's nest question; her aunt then drove in silence, figuring to leave the girl to her thoughts. "Besides, I'd never be good enough to play professionally..." she said in a whisper to herself. |
| Caitlin's dance lesson that afternoon after school went suprisingly well. "Tres bien, petite dame! Tres bien!" Caroline said, clapping her hands to the music. It was one of the more livelier tunes to Swan Lake, the one which Caitlin would be auditioning for in the upcoming competition. It was going to be a large show, with many dancers, but only one Swan Princess. For the auditions she would have to do this song, and a slower tune. She wanted more then anything to get that part. And maybe, if she continued like this, she just might. That was stupid though, and Caitlin knew it. She always ruined things, it was a rare thing for her to have a good practice, and she was surprised time and time again that Caroline chose to remain her instructor. Caitlin didn't know what her mother would do if Caroline quit. When the song finished, Caroline gave Caitlin a break, at which point she went to the stretching bar with her water bottle, taking a few sips. Maybe...maybe if she made it into the show, she could invite Janet. Her mother would never have to know, Cailtin could buy Janet a ticket with her own money. Maybe even her little sister too. It would be wonderful to know there was someone friendly in the audience, someone who wouldn't care if she screwed up; someone like Janet. Or maybe Janet would even be playing with in the band! Caroline had told her that the band being taken on for the play was going to be a student band, one with an excellent teacher who had been working hard to prepare them. And Janet had mentioned something about having a lot of music lessons, so maybe that was it. Caitlin shook her head as she stretched her leg. She shouldn't be thinking about friends right now, friends just got in the way. What she needed to be thinking about was getting her act together and getting this part. |
| It was too good to last and Janet knew it. If she didn’t play with her eyes closed most of the time, listening to the melody, and only looking at the notes and conductor intermittently, she would have probably broken several strings on her bow when her parents entered the hall. The teacher was having them practice in the orchestra pit of the theater where they would be playing in a few weeks time. While she played, she thought about how or if she could invite Caitlin to hear, or at least watch the dance company that they were playing for. She knew that the girl was a dancer, and even with a schedule that nearly mirrored hers in terms of lack of time, surely her mother would want her to go see something like a recital as inspiration to be better. Janet was thinking about the various ways to get her a ticket, and even if she couldn’t come, it would still be nice, just because of the fact that she had someone to give it to. Then she came back to reality and berated her self. Looking at the stage as the conductor/teacher let them go, she thought, that she might actually be one of the dancers on the stage. She smiled at the thought. Maybe she could ask her. Her parents waited for her by the door, a sure indication that they were back, and were taking no chances that she had run amok while they were gone. As if. The next Monday, she made her way as quickly as she could to where she knew Cat’s locker was to slip the note and ticket in. Instead she saw the girl, depositing her books to get ready to go to lunch. “Caitlin!” she called out, weaving between two students. Caitlin turned around and smiled at her. Janet smiled back.. “Heading to lunch? Mind if I come?” she asked. Running a hand through her hair, she sighed, “But just for a bit, as I’ve got to get some of my homework for French done.” “Um, sure,” she said, realizing that lunch was probably the only real free time that she had all day. Caitlin wondered if she should invite Janet and her sister to the recital. “Um,” Janet said, voicing the same thought that Caitlin was thinking, both confirming the other’s idea. “There’s a recital that my music class is playing for, and I thought that since you’re a dancer, you’d like to see it,” she said, holding up a ticket, “I figured that your mom couldn’t say no to that.” Caitlin smiled showing the two tickets that she had been ready to give Janet to the same recital. “I’m going to be one of the dancers on stage,” she said, finding the situation somehow funny. They both giggled, smiling at that. “Then we might be able to see each other a bit more,” the musician said, “As my teachers says that the closer we get to ‘curtain’, the more we will practice and even practice with the dancers so that we will both get used to each other” Janet said, doing a mock imitation of her teacher at the last part. “That would be nice,” Caitlin replied slowly as they sat down in the cafeteria with their lunches brought from home. She thought about her mother, and the phone call. Janet’s face grew dark a bit too. Janet was thinking on how now that her parents were back, they wouldn’t want her friends to be anything less than perfect, and would want to meet with their parents, judging the ‘worthiness’ of the friend by the parents. “But let’s try and keep it from my parents,” she said as Caitlin said the same thing. They looked at each other surprised, and gave a smile, though neither went into the details. As soon as the food was gone, they both stood and made their way back to the school, where their busy schedules would take them over again. |
| Caitlin was ecstatic, and for the rest of the day she seemed to be walking on air. For the first time, she had felt like she really had a friend. Not like she had felt at the park with Janet and her sister, but different. They had giggled together, made plans together, and for the first time Caitlin could remember, shared a secret together. The secret of their budding friendship and the recital. Caitlin could never remember having an actual friend before; having someone to giggle with and talk about girl things and tell secrets to. She wondered what Janet would say if Caitlin showed her her arms. If she shared that secret with her. What would Janet do? Caitlin realized what she was doing, and scared herself out of her happiness. What was she doing? What was she thinking? No one must ever know about her secret. No one. Ever. Her life would be ruined if anyone found out about that. Her carefully contructed walls would crumble, and she would be vulnerable to everything around her. No one must ever find out about that. Caitlin would have to have a friend without secrets attached. But she had a nagging feeling that there was a deep secret Janet was keeping from her too; a secret she never wanted anyone to find out about. Like that day she had seen her in the bathroom... Caitlin danced better then she remembered doing in over a month that afternoon. Caroline cheered and Caitlin felt her mother beaming in the audience. And for the first time in a long time, Caitlin actually enjoyed it. |
| It was an open rehearsal. Janet sat in her chair in the orchestra pit adjusting the strings to her violin; her parents -or rather her mother- was in the audience along with several other parents to watch the practice. She recognized a few of them as ones that sat in just outside of lessons at the music school. She figured that the others must be for the dancers back stage. She idly wondered which one could be Cat's mom as she plucked a few cords. She gave a small smile and drew her bow along a few happy cords, thinking on how she had a friend. She winced as the skin stretched over the back of her arm, and she set the instrument down, a fresh bruise just under the white sleeve. Janet gave a sigh and looked at her sister across the way with her won instrument, sitting with the younger students who were to play a simpler melody on their instruments. There's no way either one of them could tell her what happened to her. She didn't want pity, or anything. Just…a friend. Would her secret get in the way? Janet looked to the stage and saw the dancers appear in a line, their instructor following, a grown swan with it's charges out in front. She saw her 'secret' friend, and gave the slightest of waves with her bow, picking up the violin and turning her eyes to her own teacher as he raised the conductor’s wand. Even if she was sore, and it hurt to play and sit, she would play her best for the only friend she had. At first break, the dancers were rushed off stage, followed by the musicians into the wings, leaving the parents in the auditorium; because of such small backstage space, the parents weren't allowed behind the curtain, making the scene seem bigger with only a hand full of adults and a couple dozen children and teens. Janet placed a bottle of cold water on the neck of the girl at the table and giggled as she flinched under it and turned around. "Water?" she said holding out the bottle which Catlin gratefully took. "You look magnificent out there." "And you played well," Catlin added with a smile. "You could hear me?" "About as well as you could see me," she said as they both took a sip of water, smiling. The teachers clapped their hands and shouted that break was over and that they would work on the next phase of rehearsal, getting the synchronization just right. |
| It was another rehearsal, almost a week later, and this time there was no band. This was the one that decided it all. Decided all the parts. Who got the Swan Princess, and who go the background dancing. Caitlin tried to keep her hands from her mouth, where her nails seemed to be somehow magnetized to her teeth. The most important roles were being named first. "Gabriel," the director of the ballet, Stephan, was calling from his front row seat in front of the stage, looking down at his clipboard. "You have the Prince." Gabriel, one of the male dancers, beamed and got congratulating slaps on the back. He was tall and slender, with a lean build and delicate features; perfect for the part. He was also an excellent dancer, and was only 17 years old. "Sabrina, the Queen Mother." Stephan said. Sabrina, a tall girl with red hair squealed. This was it, just the one part left. Odette, the Swan Princess. Just this part, and then he would name off the other people and their roles in the background. Just this part, and if Caitlin didn't get it... "Now for the role of the Swan Princess," Stephan said, glancing up from his clipboard for the first time. His eyes met Caitlin's for the briefest second, and her breath caught in her throat. She crossed her fingers under her legs so tight that she was sure they would be blue by the end of this. "Caitlin Bennington." Caitlin didn't have a reaction at first. She just stared at him, not realizing her mouth had dropped open in a perfect "o" shape. Her fingers remained crossed under her legs and it was a few seconds later before she heard the squeals of the girls around her and felt the pats on her back. It was then that the grin took over her face, from ear to ear. This wasn't her usual dazzler she used on the adults, but this was a real smile. |
| As soon as Janet and Gloria entered the hallway, they stopped dead. Near one of the doors that led into the room where they took their lessons was a gaggle of students all trying to peer at a single sheet of paper tacked to the message board. A 'thunk' on the floor announced their arrival to no one in particular as her flute and case landed. She looked at some of the other students there as some left with stoic faces, other with beams and some with frowns and glances either at each other, other students or their instruments. Once they were seen by some of the other students, Janet started getting polite 'congratulations' for what ever was on the list. Eventually she got her feet moving again- at least enough to get her through the people and over to the paper posted on the wall. "What is it?" Gloria, who was just a bit too short to read the paper asked. "Apparently not every one is playing next month at the play of 'The Swan Princess'," Janet replied seeing the list of names with positions. "It's a list of people who will be playing and where they will be seated." "Am I on the list?" Gloria asked curiously. "It seems to be mostly upperclassmen," Janet said scanning the list and not seeing either of their names on there. A lump started to rise in her throat...if she wasn't on the list...Father would... "No, you're not on here," Janet said not seeing Gloria's name on the list, "All the viola players are upperclassmen. I guess they wanted to keep the orchestra small." "They have me as first on the list for violin section; Looks like the several people have solos though." "That's great!" Gloria said seeing the worried look on her sister's face. Janet's lump only went away when she breathed a sigh of relief. "Why?" Janet asked looking down at her sister. Her faced brightened when she saw her hands twist. "Yeah! Mother and Father will be so proud!" Gloria said with a beaming smile. "Solos! and group preformances!" "Yes," Janet said finding her voice, "We get to cover the intermission," Janet said pointing to their names. "Upper and lower classmen. I don't know how mother did it, but I'm sure this is her doing." "What do you mean?" Gloria asked looking at her sister's not-so-happy face. "I thought that you would be happy." Janet then shooed her sister off the cases and hurried to class so that they could prep and warm their instruments. "Intermission is suspose to be a break for the dancers AND us, and so that the audience can go to the bathroom," Janet said, putting her flute peices together with a bit more force than necessary. "Now we'll have even LESS time for that. Not to mention my fingers will probably be bleeding by the end of the night." "Oh." Gloria said sounding sobered. "Sorry." Janet gave a sympathy smile to her little sister and tried to bring her happiness back up a notch. "But hey," she said, bumping Gloria's shoulder playfully, "At least I get to play my favorite instrument with my favorite sister," she said with the best smile she could muster. Gloria brighted at that as their music teacher and conductor entered. "I wonder how Catlin faired..." |
| Monday was much to far away for Caitlin to wait for. She flew through her weekend practices, dancing her routines perfectly and closing the books on her homework and assignments. She couldn't wait to tell Janet about getting the part. She entered the school after her morning practice and got to first period just in time. She hadn't seen Janet before the first class, but she wouldn't have had time to speak to her anyway. It would have to wait for the next break. Caitlin payed hardly any attention during the class, and kept an eye out for Janet on her way to her locker. Turns out, however, that Janet was the one who found Caitlin. "Hi, Caitlin." Janet smiled at Caitlin, standing beside her locker. "Janet! Hi! Guess what?" Caitlin beamed. "What?" "I got it! I got the Swan Princess!" "Really? Congratulations!" Janet grinned. "You're mom must be really proud of you!" The smile faded slightly from Caitlin's face. Her mother had actually smiled at her over the weekend, something she hadn't gotten from her in a long time. But she had also been working Caitlin harder then ever lately, though Caitlin hadn't really noticed it till now. "Yea...yea, I guess she is. This is what she's always wanted. She wanted to be a dancer when she was young, but her parents didn't have the money." Caitlin said. She couldn't believe herself. She had never told anyone this much about her or her family, and now here she was saying it as freely as if she were explaining that two plus two was four. "Gloria and I made it into the band." Janet said. "Oh? I didn't realize there were going to be people cut from it." "Yea. Well, we both made it in highest position. We're playing during intermission too." Caitlin noticed that Janet's voice and eyes didn't hold too much excitement while she said this. "Good or bad?" Caitlin asked. Janet shrugged. "I just won't really get a time to rest." Janet said. Caitlin nodded in understandingly. "Well, I'm sure you'll play just great." Caitlin smiled. "Yea, thanks. I bet you're going to be wonderful. I really loved watching you dance up there." "Oh, I hardly danced at all up there. They were just putting us through some basic exercises and routines." The bell rang through the halls and the crowd started to disperse. "Well, I had better get going." Caitlin said. "I'll talk to you later maybe?" Janet asked. "Definately." Caitlin smiled at Janet and they went their seperate ways. |
After school as Janet was walking down the steps, she was stopped by one of the guys, as he stood in front of her, blocking her path. "Yes?" She asked, looking past him to where a car pulled up and her sister was climbing out. "You're Janet right?" the kid asked, running his fingers through his hair. Janet gave a nod and continued around him down the stairs; the boy followed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Hey, I was wondering, like you play really awesome and stuff, if you'd like to go with me and some of my friends to like the movies or a concert sometime or something?" he asked, jumbling his words together. As they stood by the car, Gloria caught the last part of what the boy said and ducked inside quickly. Janet gave a smile and then a frown. "I..." Janet started. Her mother stepped out of the driver's side of the car and looked at her. "Janet, we have places to go, please get in the car." "Yes mother," Janet said getting in. With the window down she told the boy as the car drove off, "I'm sorry, you'd have to ask my parents." Janet rolled up the window to just a crack as the car turned the corner, and let her mind drift to how well her life seemed to be going. Things were going well indeed. She and Gloria have been on their best behavior and somehow had managed to stay on the good graces of their parents for nearly a week now- when they found out about their solos- and both were eager to keep it that way. Last night, Gloria didn't even have to help Janet into her nightgown, the old bruises gone and the newer ones fading fast. She noticed that leaning back in the seat didn't seem as painful as before either. It was a nice feeling. Gloria whispered something in the lowest tones possible, covered well by the sonata playing on the radio. janet gave a nod and thought on how she could word it to stay in their parent's good graces. The idea and wording came to her as they pulled up the driveway. "Mother," Janet said getting out of the car and helping her sister, "The recital will be a most opportune time to network with like-minded individuals," Janet said thinking carefully on each word, "I wonder if it would be a good thing for us to do to help in putting together a small dinner gathering for the band members and the dancers- and their parents of course- for after the recital where they might meet with some of the audience?" "Why would they want a thing like that?" her mother snapped, driving fear into Janet of saying the wrong thing. Holding it back, she raised a hand leisurely as her mother had taught in order to make her point. "There may be potential scouts and well paying members in the audience that might want to...sponsor certain canidates for say...Juliard or the Royal Academy.." Janet said, trying to sound bored and intriqued at the same time. "We could have a small gathering before the show of just the preformers and parents, and one after the show for a more 'formal' setting." "Why, that sounds like a marvolous idea, dear," a male voice said from behind Janet's mother. "That intellect has done you some good after all. I'm sure that I can put in a few phone calls," He said, giving his wife a loving squeeze, yet looking at his two daughters as the house pets that had done well in their training. It was the same look that their mother now gave. A calculated love. "Thank you Father," Janet said with a slight bow. "Now you two run along and do your homework. Esta will have dinner ready for us soon." "Yes Father," the two said heading inside. Gloria looked at her sister in wonder. "How did you?" "Lots and lots of luck," Janet breathed, realizing that she was probably holding her breath for half the conversation outside. "But at least with this, there's no way we can miss handing out with Catlin a bit before and after the show. Especially with the people that will be there, Father will pass on his idea to our teacher who will of course pass it to the dance teacher and...volia, business party." "It will be simple enough to get us kids off to the side to have some real fun then," Gloria said, excitment showing through. Janet ushered her into her room. "And.." "No," Janet warned, knowing what Gloria was suggesting. "No one must know. I've seen what happens. If you think this is bad...anyway, let's keep this whole thing between us. We'll have it as a surprise for Catlin if it actually goes off without a hitch." "What if she can't come?" Gloria asked sitting down at her small desk. "How can she not? From the way her mother seems at the rehearsals, her mother would practically force Catlin to be there to show off as a prize throughbread." "Sound like us." Gloria said looking at the cabinet with trophies pictures and ribbons. Janet followed her gaze and nodded. "Do you think that Julliard would really be there?" Glora asked after a moment. "For the upperclassmen, sure. I guess. Doesn't really matter for me though," Janet said. "Mother has already gotten pre-acceptance letters for Harvard and Brown. SHE wants me to be a lawyer. "Besides, there's no future in music anyway." "Oh." |
| "We got an invitation in the mail today," Dawna was saying to Caitlin as she drove her to school after her morning dance practice. "An invitation? For both of us? For what?" Caitlin was completely shocked. The only invitations that ever came were strictly for her mother. "There is going to be a gathering at the Carter house before and after your show. All the performers and their parents are invited to attend the first one, and selected others are welcome to join in the evening. We will be attending the second." Dawna was talking in her happy voice, yet she wasn't looking at Cailtin. Instead she kept her eyes steady straight in front of her. "Why only the second one?" Caitlin asked. "Because we cannot afford to lollygag before your performance. You need all the practice and warm-up you can get. There might be scouts there, and I want them to see you do your best. Perhaps then, when we meet them at the after-party, they will be interested in having you at their school." "You mean, I might get a scholarship?" Caitlin asked. "Of course that's what I mean, Caitlin. It's just what we've always wanted." Dawna flashed a quick smile at her as she pulled up to the school. Caitlin, however, did not respond, but got out of the vehicle. "Bye, then." She said. "Don't be late." And her mom drove away. Caitlin stood still for a moment, her bag over her shoulder, staring at the spot her mother had just been. A scholarship? Maybe for Juliard or the Royal Academy... That would be so wonderful! Did she really have a chance? The bell rang and snapped Caitlin out of her reverie. She turned on her heel and sprinted into the school. |
| Janet made her way as carefully through the halls as the crowd permitted. Hearing Catlin's voice, she ducked into a recess of the wall between two sets of lockers, hiding just as she caught sight of her friend. Seeing that Catlin wasn't calling for her she sighed a breath of relief. Groaning inwardly, she supposed that she should be happy to see her friend, but at the moment, she needed to hide; she needed to keep her secret. That unfortunately was more important than friendship. Taking a deep breath to keep from crying, she prepared to weave her way down just two more door to her next class. Then she saw the reason for all her pain. No, she chided herself. It's not his fault. It was hers for talking to him in the first place. He doesn't know. He cornered her, trapping her in the recess, though not on purpose. "Hi, I called your house yesterday, well tried to anyway. I think I must have called the wrong number," he said sheepishly. Janet looked at him with a blank stare. She hadn't given anyone but Caitlin her number. "I looked it up on the phone book." he said answering her unasked question. "Since you said that I'd have to ask your parents, I thought that I'd do that. But the guy who answered had never heard of you so I hung up. Sorry." He looked so sincere in his apology, Janet didn't know what to say. All she could do was give the briefest of nods and look off to where her friend had just ducked into one of the classrooms. Janet gave a small smile. Thinking that she was smiling at him, he smiled back. "So can I get your number?" "M-m-m-my...number?" Janet stumbled. She remembered hearing his voice over the receiver as her father picked up the phone. She remembered the look on his face when he looked at her as she did her homework. She remembered the sound of one of her instruments smashing against the wall...the feel of her flute as he used it to beat her for the phone call... at at that moment, the welts that the instrument left behind on her now tender back and legs. "N-n-n-no, um, no number," she said looking at his so innocent smile. What was she thinking? she couldn't get close to anyone. They would find out. They'd take her away, and Gloria..she had to protect her little sister. "I-I-I have a concert that night," Janet finally stammered. She held up a ticket from her pocket. It was the one she was going to give Caitlin before she found out that she was a dancer. He took a step back, and the bell rang. Shoving the ticket at the boy, she squeezed past him into the class room taking a deep breath as she made her way towards the back of class to hide. Too Close...she was getting too close... |
| As Caitlin hurried down the hallway, she noticed someone else doing the same. She recognized the back of Janet's head. But Janet was walking oddly. It was like every move hurt her, and it seemed like she was trying to get away from Caitlin as fast as she could. Concerned, Caitlin called out Janet's name and then mentally kicked herself for it. What was she doing? She was supposed to be stopping herself from this! But too late now; Janet turned around. "Are you okay?" Caitlin asked, catching up with her. "What? Oh, yes, I'm fine." Janet said breathily. Caitlin gently touched her shoulder and Janet winced, jerking away from her touch. Caitlin withdrew her hand like she had been burned. What was she doing touching people? That would only get her into more trouble! "Are you sure?" Caitlin asked quizzicaly. Janet had seemed to be hurt by that slight touch, but she nodded her head vigorously. "Yes, yes, I'm fine, it's nothing to worry about. I'm just a little sore, I fell down a flight of stairs the other day." Janet laughed airily. "You know, I can be so clumsy sometimes." Caitlin plastered another fake smile on her face. But Janet's words tugged at the back of her mind, sounding oddly familiar. "Okay, well, if you're sure." Caitlin said. "Yep." Janet smiled at her. "Well, I'll see you around. I have a lot of work to catch up on," and she hurried away. Janet's previous words still nagged at Caitlin as she walked to her locker. She was worried, and confused. And nevermind scared. That sounds like my excuses... Caitlin realized, startled. |
| It was late in the afternoon, though early for Janet as her music lessons had ended early. Since her parents were away for the evening and wouldn't be back until the next morning...something about anniversaries...she was thankful for the time to get away and out of the house, of lessons, of...everything. And at the moment, that included Gloria. Her little sister was still inside going over another rehearsal, so while Janet had free time, she decided to spend it at the park across the street. The sun was shining, the air was warm and comforting, soothing her skin and making it so that even her body didn't hurt as much as it had earlier. She pulled up her sleeve for just a moment to examine the dark bruises that were starting to yellow around the edges- a good sign that they were healing fast and well. Even with the new ones on top of the old ones, she felt that they were coming along nicely. She heard a noise and quickly pushed down the sleeve to her arm and looked around. On a nearby bench, there was someone she recognized, but hardly expected to see in a park sitting on a bench, sniffling. Or crying. Walking quietly up to the girl, Janet sat on top of the bench next to her, sitting on the back, with her feet on the seat. The girl looked up startled. "I know you," Janet started slowly, "Your...Danielle right?" Janet said, recognizing her from school. She was always too bright and...Cheerful, it seemed out of sorts with the way she was now. Danielle, in a mild state of shock, just numbly nodded. "I'm Janet." Janet stopped as she moved. Pain flared up from her back and side, a result from the beating. She placed her instrument on the bench and grimaced, hoping that it looked more like a smile than a wince. She moved to get up and get away, before some one found out her secret.- before the girl did. "I'm sorry; you look like you want to be left alone. I'll go." She said, jumping to the first thing she felt like she could say without sounding rude. She had one friend...and that was risky enough to have. It couldn't...she couldn't...no. One friend was it. "No, please," Danielle said in a near whisper. If Janet hadn't been used to Gloria talking in such low tones, she probably would have missed it all together. "You're the girl who plays on the school steps, right?" Janet nodded. "My...I'm...I'm waiting for my boyfriend. Stay with me until then?" Not knowing quite what to say, since she had to wait for her sister and she couldn't go back into the school, she nodded. Taking out her instrument, she warmed the strings, resting a foot on the bench to support her elbow as she started, drawing the bow along the violin slowly, in a somber tone. To go any faster would have caused her too much pain, and from the look on Danielle's face, she didn't seem to want to talk anyway. But that was perhaps just Janet not wanting to talk herself. |
| Caitlin was relishing one of the few days she got in a year, in between dance classes and school and homework. Her mother had taken her to the mall that weekend, telling her to look for a couple new outfits as she was in need of some clothes. And above all, Caitlin was shopping without her mother at her side; she had left to the bank quickly and would be meeting her later. Browsing through racks of clothes in one of the stores, she had extracted a shirt, holding it up to herslef to see how she would like it. "Hey, that's cute! You should totally get it!" Another girl's voice sounded quite nearby, and Caitlin turned to see who it was. It was a girl from school, not someone she normally talked to; one of the popular girls. Her name was Joanna. "Oh. Thank you." Caitlin said, flashing Joanna her smile. "No probs. Hey, you're Caitlin, right?" "Yes. You're Joanna?" Joanne smiled and nodded. "You should totally come to my party tonight, and wear that! It's going to be a total blast." "Oh..." Caitlin gave Joanna a slightly blank stare, not sure what to think. "Oh... maybe." She finished lamely. "No, you totally have to come! The address is 115 Calder Street, everyone's going to be there! See you later!" Joanna bounced out of the store, pulling her friend, who had been standing at another rack of clothes, by the arm. Caitlin looked back down at the shirt she was holding. It was rather nice, she decided. She would try it on. But as for the party... Caitlin had never been to a party before. She usually didn't have time for them, and her mother would definately never allow her to go. But... Joanna had said it would be fun. Maybe it would be? She never got out... She was a teenager for crying out loud, she deserved to get out and have some fun. But... she had already made herself one friend. That was pushing it already, and to also go to a party... Caitlin was deep in thought as she tried on her armful of clothes. She wanted to go to the party, but at the same time she was scared of the idea. There was a knock on the change room door. "Caitlin, is that you in there?" Her mother's voice called out to her. "We have to get going, you've got another class and we can't be late this time." "Yes, mom, I'm almost done." Caitlin sighed, and her mother's words seemed to have made up her mind for her. She was going to that party. |
| Janet made her way down the stairs slowly as late in the morning as she dared. Her younger sister was blissfully with her aunt for the weekend, out on an ‘outing’ of sorts. Her parents were in the foyer greeting a couple for lunch, and Janet inwardly cringed when she saw them. They were old friends of her parents, and very high in profile, so she was reminded of every time they visited. Although she had never met them, they had two or three children of their own, and always seemed to be off somewhere. Too young to be seen all the time, yet always there; like prize thoroughbreds at a race. "So graceful," the lady said in admiration at Janet’s decent down the stairs. Her parent’s beamed, and her previous thoughts on the guest’s family was rebounded onto herself as she suddenly felt like the horse for show. She only wished that her ‘gracefulness’ was due to actually being graceful rather than having to walk carefully to keep from hurting with all the bruises that were freshly healed and the bone bruises that were barely starting to heal. “Thank you,” her mother said with a simpering smile. “I do my best with her.” "We have her in all the best classes,” her father said with a false pride. “Excels at several instruments and languages.” As Janet came around the banister, he noticed her violin case in hand, “Ah, she’s off to her afternoon violin lessons now.” Janet gave a small curtsy to the guests in way of greeting. “Yes, father.” She said quietly. “So polite!” the lady said as if Janet was nothing more than a dog doing tricks. “How do you do it? Our own…” she faltered, and her husband picked it up as if on a cue. “Our eldest boy is doing well in his studies as well. I see Harvard in his future,” the man said in a way that made Janet think of a bird puffing out it’s chest. “I thought you had a daughter,” Janet’s father said with a hint of inquiry. The man’s face darkened for a moment, and the woman took the smallest intake of breath. “Had…” the father said bluntly, “She’s…gone.” The lady gave a small sob that had a false ring to Janet’s ear, but played her own parents like harps. “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear,” her mother said in sympathy. "Yes, well,” the father said with a forced smile. He paused as if he couldn’t talk about the subject. “Shall we go into the conservatory for some lunch?” Janet’s mother said before the silence could intrude for too long. They gave a nod and she led the way into the next room. “Father,” Janet said before he could leave. Janet had been working up the nerve and the possible wording she could use for her plan while she stood there listening to the adults banter. “Would it be alright if I stayed late and practiced for the upcoming concert? I was hoping that I could spend some time at the library as well for an extra credit paper for English as well this afternoon.” Her father looked at her and gave a nod. “Very well. Do not be home too late. Which library are you going to be at?” “The local University’s sir. The public library closes much too early today.” “Take a taxi home then.” "Yes sir.” Janet gave a bow and made her way out the door and down the stairs to the cab that had been waiting for her for the past few minutes. As she sat in the back and gave the address to the school, she thought back to the boy she had met in the hallway. He had insisted a few days ago that she go to this party that he would be at. He wrote the address on a piece of paper and slipped it into her locker in school. She gave the briefest of smiles thinking how she had just gotten enough time to do whatever she wanted. Perhaps she could spend an hour in the party, just to soak in the atmosphere before going home for the night. Of course she would have to pick up the taxi from the university campus, in case her father asked the driver, but it would definitely be worth it. |
| By the time Caitlin walked up to the house that Joanna had told her, it was bustling with noise and people. She walked up to the front door, her back straight and her head held high, not letting it show how nervous she was. She had a polite look on her face but was waiting till she actually saw some people before she put her smile in place. Caitlin walked through the front door, and many people were standing around in the entrance hall with drinks in hand. She slapped on her smile and flashed it in their direction, walking through the house. Her heart began beating faster in her nervous state. Oh why had she come here? She felt slightly out of place in her new long-sleeved navy blue shirt with a longer white undershirt showing from underneath the bottom, and her regular jeans that were neither too tight nor too loose, while every other girl was skantily clad. However, she felt a small reassurance in the small object safely hidden in her pocket. If worse came to worse, she could run out of here and find the closest place she could be alone. "Hey, want a drink?" A guy Caitlin recognized from the grade above her had walked up to her, an extra plastic cup in hand. She could smell the alcohol. "Oh..no thanks," she smiled at him. "I'm not drinking tonight." "Aww, come on, don't be a dud!" He was tall, at least a full head taller then her, and muscular. He was on the football team. Caitlin remembered his last name, McGuire. He had perfect wavy blonde hair, straight white teeth, and sparkling eyes. All the girls swooned over him, but Caitlin had never spoken to him before. "Um...well, alright." Caitlin smiled and took the cup from him, raising it to her lips. She tried not to breathe in the smell as she took a small mouthful, and tried even harder not to show the distaste on her face while her throat tried hard not to gag the beer back up. "That'a girl!" McGuire said and slapped her on the back. "I'm Tony, by the way. Tony McGuire." He held out his hand. Caitlin was thankful that her hands weren't sweaty as she held hers out to shake his as she replied, "The football player." "The best." Tony grinned. Caitlin suddenly noticed how very close he was to her, and she could smell the stale alcohol in his breath. His words were slightly slurred and he kept staring at her mouth, grinning stupidly. It wasn't hard to tell that he was drunk. "So, why don't you gimme some'a that lovin," he grinned, getting even closer to her. Caitlin inched her head back a little bit. "Pardon me?" She said. "Yoouuu know, that lovin you give the principal." Tony exaggerated the word as prince-ee-paaal. "EEEVERYONE knows what you do. That's how you get some'a the highest grades in the school. You stop by his office all the time and give him some'a that sweet self." At this time, Tony's hand came up to her waist and his fingers slid under her shirt slightly, caressing her skin. The smile had long ago slipped from her face as her heart sped up and her breathing quickened. She tried to brush his hand away from her. "Aaah, I see you like the thought of gettin a lil' bit'a Tony. The Football Champ." Tony leaned in to kiss Caitlin, but she turned her face away and he missed his drunked aim, his kiss landing wet and sloppy by her ear. The music was blasting in the background and everyone seemed too preoccupied to notice that Caitlin was in a struggle with this prick, except for two girls standing nearby and looking deathly jealous. She was now with her back against a wall, and he was blocking her from getting anywhere away from him. She was really regretting coming to this party now. "Wassa matter?" Tony slurred. He grabbed Caitlin's chin and turned her face to his, landing a drunken kiss on her mouth. As Caitlin gasped in shock, he slithered his tongue into her mouth. With a squeak of surprise, Caitlin pushed him away with all the strength she could muster. He stumbled in his drunken state, right into a small end table, knocking it over. People moved out of the way with angry cries as he spilled his drink, only to laugh once they saw that it was the Great Tony McGuire. "Aaah, I knew you were a square little bitch anyways. Go fuck the teacher." Tony spat the words at her as he turned the corner, just narrowly missing the wall, and stumbled away. Caitlin stood frozen. Her heart was racing, beating so hard she was sure it was goin to break out of her chest. She wouldn't have been surprised if everyone could hear it over the music. Her breath was starting to catch, and her hands were shaking. She knew if she didn't get somewhere soon... As Caitlin hurried through the house in search of the bathroom, she saw Joanna on the arm of a guy. She spotted Caitlin and grinned, making a move to get to her to talk. Caitlin tried to smile, but one word came out of her mouth instead. "Bathroom." "What? Oh, just down the hall, last door on your right." Joanna said, pointing Caitlin in the right direction. Caitlin didn't say another word and hurried into it, locking the door safely behind her and digging in her pocket. |
| Janet had never been to a party before. Not like this one anyway. The boy that had tried to ask her out twice now looked in her direction. Trying to duck into the crowd, he managed to corner her in a hallway niche, putting a drink into her free hand. It smelled strongly of the brandy that her father drank often after dinner. "Um...thanks" Janet mumbled, bringing her red plastic cup to her mouth and inhaling the fumes but not actually drinking. "No prrobleem," he said, dragging out the word. The chopping the next sentence, she played with her hair, "I din’t thik youd mak it," he smiled, straighten up and seemed to sober up a bit. "I'm Jeremy. I don't think I told you." Janet just gave a nod, hoping that he would try to touch her or anything. There were just so many people... "Um, thanks for the invite," Janet said looking around. He seemed to just be looking her over and not really listening to her. "You are pretty, you know that?" he said playing with her hair, "Why wear such gothic clothes? It looks good on you, but you aren't like into death or something are ya?" Janet was caught off guard by the question. "N..n..no,"she stammered. "My..my mother, um, likes it." She said, suddenly moving to the side to keep some football jock from spilling his drink on her. "Oh, lookie here!" his slurr was worse than Jeremey's. "It's a teacher's pet! There'sss twooo heerrrree," He said, raising his cup and turning around to salute a crowd that paid no attention to him. "Dooo yoou want tooo kep alllll the lov to thhh tea-A-churs tooo?" He reached in to get a kiss from Janet. She moved to the side, Jeremy intervened. She shook as Jeremy took her arm and led her away. "Are you oookay?" he asked. "Don't mind Tony, he's just a bigk jerk." Janet gave a smile and moved off, "Where are you goin'?" "Bathroom," she said spitting out the first thing that came to mind. He nodded and let her go. She went up the stairs where she hoped to find some quiet space where she could stop shaking. "Looking for the bathroom?" a girl in a red leotard said seeing Janet's searching look. Janet nodded numbly. She pointed towards a closed door. Janet made her way for it, only to find it locked and someone already inside. She slid down the wall, holding her violin case in both hands. "There you are!" Tony said coming up the hallway towards her. "You aren't going to be stupid are ya?" he said, slurring his speech tremendously and reeking of liquor. "I have to go to the bathroom," Janet said looking at him, and seeing his size rivaling that of her father. She shrunk down and into herself a bit, seeing her father in the jock in front of her. "Whas hiss?" he asked moving to pick up her case. "You gotta gun or somm-hing?" he said as she moved to hug the violin closer. "No, just my violin. Please leave it alone." "Lemme see," he said, moving to grab it as she stood with her back to the door and hid her case behind her. As he moved to grab it, the door opened, and Janet stumbled into the bathroom backwards. She closed and locked the door, turning to confront whoever she had just locked in there with her. "Uh..hi," Janet said surprised to see Caitlin there. Caitlin looking paler than normal, gave a cheery smile. "H-h-hi," she said equally surprised to see Janet. "I'm sorry," Janet said leaning against the door. This jock was trying to kiss me," Janet said shuddering. "Tony?" Caitlin asked, and Janet could hear a tone that matched her own. She nodded and and equal shudder went through her. Caitlin clutched her back as Janet grabbed her arms and sank to the floor. "We can't stay in here forever," Janet whispered, looking at the fish clock hanging on the wall. "The library closes in a few minutes.." "The library?" Caitlin looked at the one person she hoped she could trust, but held back. Janet nodded. The dancer figured that neither of them told their parents that they would be here. Janet was starting to rock back and forth on her heels. "If father finds out..." she started to whisper. Caitlin kneeled down, to see a worried and somewhat paniked look on Janet's face. "I shouldn't have come... I shouldn't have come..." "Janet?" Caitlin said touching her arm to hopefully get her attention. The girl was scaring her. Janet flinched at the touch so hard that she bumpd back against the wall. A sharp intake of breath to keep from screaming and Janet was back in control. "Um..are you, are you alright?" Janet nodded. Then shook her head. "I've, I've got to go," Janet said slowly comming to stand. "He'll kill me if he finds out," she said. Caitlin knew she was talking about her dad. She looked at Caitlin. "Come with me, please? I'll pay for the taxi," Janet said looking calm. "I can say that we went to the campus to practice and work on homework...and...lost track of time," Janet said thinking fast. She opened the door and dragged the girl outside, grabbing her arm, causing some of the fresh cuts to stick to the shirt. Once they were outside, Janet found a cellphone and called a taxi to come pick them up. "Janet.." Caitlin started. Janet looked at Caitlin then down at her wrist that she still held like a life preserver. "Oh, sorry," Janet said letting go. The shirt started to dimple red, but the musician was oblivious to it. She jumped into the cab and waited for Caitlin to follow. "Caitlin, come on, please? My dad'll..." Janet stopped, realizing that she almost told her what her father did. "Coming?" she said instead, with a false air of cheeriness. |
| Agaisnt her better judgement, Caitlin slipped into the cab beside Janet. They were each on opposite ends of the back seat, each as close to the windows and as far from eachother as they could get. Caitlin clutched protectively to her arm, breathing deeply, frightened of how close she had come to getting caught with her disgusting secret. And Janet... "Thanks for coming with me, Caitlin." Janet said softly. Caitlin looked over at her, but Janet was looking down, not at Caitlin. "Thank you for the ride," Caitlin said. Janet nodded and she continued to look at her. "Are you sure you're alright?" Janet nodded her head, but still did not look at Caitlin. She reached out her un-injured arm, a movement as if to touch Janet lightly on the shoulder, but left her hand hovering in the air instead as Janet twitched at her movement. "Is there something you want to talk about?" Caitlin asked quietly. She heard a soft sniff and Janet, who's bowed head was hidden by her hair, raised a hand to her face. By now the cab had stopped by Caitlin's house. Caitlin knew that Janet was on the verge of telling her something very important. But time was running out, and she felt the need to nudge her along. "Is it Tony?" She asked. As soon as she did, Janet came to her senses and realized that she could not, would not, tell anyone about her father. "Um, yea, the creep just freaked me out. That's all." Janet said, raising her head now and giving Caitlin a weak smile. "I'll see you on Monday." Caitlin nodded and climbed out of the cab, not wanting to pry Janet any further. She knew how important privacy was. How important one's secrets were. She knew only too well. |
| The cab moved off and headed towards Janet's home. The girl sat quietly in the back, thinking back on the party. It was fun, she supposed. Definatly better than the 'parties' that her parents made her go to. Janet had arrived at the part when it was already pretty full, and people hardly gave her a second glance. She made her way around the place listening to the music blasting so loud it was impossible to actually hear anyone there, yet it was obvious that people were chatting as if the noise was hardly noticeable. She reconized some of the people there, but everyone was basically a stranger to her. Someone bumped into her back and gave a friendly smile. "Hi Janet," the boy said, "congratulations on the Solo," he said as she tried to remember where she knew him. It came to her, the flute player from her music lessons. He also played the clarinet. "Thanks...Michael," she said with a smile, and she was able to delve into a safe subject of music with the boy. Eventually, a girl came up and draped her arm around Michael, and guided the boy off with strange looks of jealousy at her. Janet shrugged and moved off to find something to drink. The girls there looked at her for a moment, and the guys didn't really look at her much at all, probably because of her clothes being so...concealing. She shrugged it off, knowing that wearing a tee so reavealing MIGHT be nice, but the black and blue back that she tended to sport often enough would not be attractive...unless she could find a shirt to match it. She smiled to herself over her grim self-humor. Shaking her head, she noticed Catlin in the crowd- wearing a similar kind of outfit- that being concealing rather than revealing, and thought to make her way over to the girl, when she was stopped by one of the Jocks. Janet walked around to the other side of the house, stopping to talk to a few more of the students from both school and music, but then felt the need to duck out of the way when she saw the boy that asked her out the first time. She had forgotten that he was going to be here. She wanted to talk...but... |
| Caitlin's mom was still awake when she got home. She walked silently down the hall towards her bedroom, peeking at her mom through the open crack of her door. She sat up in bed reading, and didn't seem to hear Caitlin coming home. Once in her bed, Caitlin lay on her side under the covers, staring out the window but not exactly focused on anything. Her mind was spinning around the events of the night. She heard her mother poke her head in her door to check on her before going to sleep, but didn't turn around or make any notion that she was still awake. Caitlin wondered why she hadn't realized why she never went to parties in the first place. First of all, she was rarely invited because she didn't actually hang out with anyone. Second of all, her schedule was usually much to busy to allow it. And finally, she definitely wasn't that courageous. Something as simple as a drunken teenage male has scared her like a child lost in a store. She shook her head at herself, hating how out of the scene she was. She would have given anything to be in with that crowd and have a fun and easy time at parties. One of those kids that spend every night of the weekend drinking and dancing and having fun during times like those. Maybe she still could be. The whole night hadn't been that bad, if she just hadn't been such a square. Caitlin's mind went back to the earlier events of the evening. She had seen a couple of girls she knew from class standing with a small group of people, and they had waved her over to talk. "Hey Caitlin, I've never seen you at parties before! Where've you been?" One girl from Caitlin's English class, Mandy, spoke. "Yea, I don't get a chance to get out much, having such a cramped schedule. It's a total drag," Caitlin smiled at the group, trying hard to fit it without seeming like it. "Yea, I bet. Aren't you like, a ballerina, or something?" A girl Caitlin didn't know giggled as she said this and took another sip of whatever she was drinking. "Well, yea, I do ballet. My mom's pretty strict about it." A few of the people nodded at this as if they understood. "It's sweet that you're out tonight though, this is a pretty good party. I just hope it doesn't get busted as fast as the last one." At this, the rest of the group started off on a rant of the last party, where cops had apparently shown up at before midnight. One of the guys in the group leaned over to speak to Caitlin. "Don't worry, you don't miss out on much with these parties. It's just a bunch of teens drinking enough to lose their inhibitions and stop caring so damn much about what everyone thinks." He shrugged. "It's something we should be able to do without alcohol, but, hey." He raised his drink and took a sip. "My name's Michael. You're Caitlin?" "Yea, hi." Caitlin looked at the boy. She thought she recognized him; he was a little taller than her, kind of scrawny but good looking, with brown hair and eyes. "I think I've seen you around, what grade are you in?" He said. "11. You?" "Yea, same, I knew I'd seen you. I think my locker's not far from yours." "I'm pretty sure I've seen you as well." Caitlin wasn't looking at him, but instead mentally beating herself up for not keeping up a better conversation. However, she couldn't think of anything to say. "Yea, cool." Michael said, and his gaze drifted away and his attention left the conversation. Caitlin was left standing awkwardly in the group while they talked amongst themselves before she excused herself to continue a round of the party. That had been when Tony had approached her. In her bed, Caitlin sighed. She needed to get a better handle on this socializing thing. But then again, maybe not. |
| "Are you alright girl?" the cabbie asked. Janet nodded, thinking back. She really wanted to tell Caitlin. She wanted to talk to Micheal... But she knew that she could never tell; it was too important. Plus, people would've heard, and then...who knows? "Fine, sir," she said looking out the window as the lights passed the car...or the car passed the lights, she thought. The cab eventually pulled up into the driveway. Even from where she was she could tell that her father was waiting for her. "Sir, could you say that you picked me up at the college library?" "Al'right," he said looking at the stern looking man as he approached the cab, pulling out a wallet. Janet gave a smile and dropped a ten, everything she had in her pocket, on the seat where he could see it. He was going to get a double tip for the fare. Janet climbed out, holding her violin case close to her. Her father paid the man and he drove off, leaving the girl alone with her father. She rushed inside and moved to go to her room. "Did you have a good time," her father asked looking at Janet. Janet looked down. "I guess so, sir," Janet said, "I didn't find the book I wanted." School on Monday was hard. Not that the classes were hard, it was that facing the people at school was hard. Moving was hard. Her dad never found out about the party, but her little sister had gotten into trouble and he had taken it out on her. She had stayed in her room, only coming out for meals and today, school. At her locker, she got a whiff of a familiar scent and turned around to see Jeremy standing there, placing a hand on the locker next to hers. "Hey, sorry, there," he said seeing her startled surprise. "I'm sorry about what happened at the party,"he said sounding honest. Janet's chest constricted. He sounded like he actually meant it, and she couldn't even give him a viable excuse. "Why'd you leave? It wasn't something I did was it?" Janet shook her head. His smile made her chest hurt. "My dad wanted me home early..." she got out her books, closing her locker. He ran a hand gently through her hair, brushing the loose locks behind her ear, causing her to flinch. Makeup covered the healing flesh on her cheek well enough, but it still hurt. "Hey, did you get enough sleep last night?" he asked trying to look her in the eyes. She shook her head. And looked for a way out. "Studying," she said looking for an escape route before he realized the dark circle under her eyes weren't from lack of sleep. She saw Caitlin hurrying towards the bathroom. "Hi Caitlin!" she said calling out. She looked at her watch and gave she hoped a placeated him. "Looks like I'll be late for class if I don't go." Ducking under his arm, she rushed off after Catilin into the girl's bathroom. |
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