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a campfire to celebrate Writing.com's 4th Birthday |
| [Introduction] General plot line: Five friends are camping out in a national park. This is their story. |
| It was a dark and stormy night out at the old MellowRock National Park. From inside a half-covered cave, five human voices intermingled with the sounds of thunder. MaryLou: Oh, this is just wonderful! Great idea, Steve - "Oh, let's do something different this year for our reunion vacation. How about camping and hiking?" |
| Lin is looking around wildly. She keeps hearing something that no one else seems to hear. "Geez, what was that? Lordy, MaryLou, did you see that lightning? There's that noise again." |
| "What noise? All I hear is the thunder. And Steve's sniffles, of course. Geez, it's cold; we got soaked pretty badly, huh? I'm glad we found this cave when we did. |
| I hear it, too! It sounds like weeeeezzzeeee - uff uff uff pyonnnngggg! Take the cotton out of your ears, MaryLou! Why can't you be more like Lin? She's upright, honest, brave, bold, cheerful, aurally competent... and looks good in olive slacks with a russet sweater. |
| Lin smirks a bit over Steve's compliment, but she takes one look at MaryLou's face and decides to change the subject. "You know he is just teasing you, MaryLou; we need to get some fire going here so we can put some light on the subject." The other two members of the party are huddled together, trying to stay warm, and nod their heads in enthusiastic agreement. "Come on, let's look around for something to start a fire with. I'm getting cold and....there is that noise again," Lin declares, squinting her eyes and moving uneasily towards the front of the cave. |
| Weeeeezzzeeee - uff uff uff pyonnnngggg, Weeeeezzzeeee - uff uff uff pyonnnngggg, Weeeeezzzeeee - uff uff uff pyonnnngggg... Everyone in the cave screams in terror, but Lin continues to walk cautiously out the mouth of the cave. "Oh geez, Jacky! It's your electric wheel chair making that racket--it's smoking and going around in circles--struck by lightning, I guess." "I'm sorry, Lin," Jacky says, still huddled up with Roo, "but, I must say, you do look good in those olive slacks and russet sweater." |
| Enough already! Can we please stop admiring Lin's tush? We need to figure out what we're going to do here! |
| "First thing is to stop that wheelchair! That's my job!" Steve runs out and jumps into the eccentric wheelchair, slapping knobs and switches until it grinds to a halt. "Hey, did anybody bring anything to eat?" Suddenly everyone stops and listens as a new and mysterious sound is heard. |
| They are straining their ears because the sound is low at first but then increases as if gaining strength. "hep me...hep me...HELP ME! Lin stifles a scream but only barely and throws her arms around Jacky; so much for brave. Steve scurries around the room, looking for the new noise and shoving MaryLou behind him. The most sensible member of the party scratches her head and says: |
| "Steve! You never wanted your mommy when you were scared. You must be possessed!" Suddenly Roo's eyes turn red. "And you think I'm possessed?" Steve asks. |
| Roo: [laughs menacingly] I vant to suck your blood! [Lin screams and ducks behind Jacky. Jacky immediately pushes Lin towards Roo.] Jacky: Take her! She has lots of iron! |
| "Wait! I have garlic!" Steve quickly pulls out a clove of garlic and crushes it under Roo's nose. The red light fades from her eyes and she falls to the ground, limp and unconscious. |
| Lin wipes her eyes in relief. She takes a deep breath and says" "Shoot, that was a close one. Thanks Steve, you are such a hero." Lin bats her eyelashes. MaryLou draws herself up and stalks towards Lin. |
| Jacky smiles at the scene and says, "Get her, MaryLou! Lin ain't been nothing but a tease since she's been here!" Suddenly, the almost forgotten pleas for help resume and everyone, including MaryLou, stops what they are doing. "Dog-gone it," says Jacky who really wants to see Lin get what she deserves. |
| "Whatcha staring at?" asks Jacky, as she peers over at MaryLou's frozen face. Roo awakens and starts walking around, looking like she just spun around in circles. "I... j-just had the... craziest dream!" She giggles and then falls again. |
| MaryLou: Steve, why didn't you catch her before she hit her head on that rock?! That can't be good for vampires, dontcha know?...Steve, where are you? [Steve has retreated to the far end of the cave, trying to escape the shaft of moonlight now streaking into the cave.] Steve: Stay away from me; I'm not safe, I tell you! |
| MaryLou is standing in the shaft of moonlight. "Did you shave your legs yesterday, MaryLou?" MaryLou looks down at her legs and screams. Tufts of long hair are sprouting there and also on her arms, her hands, her face. "Everybody get out of that moonlight!" |
| Lin and Jacky start slipping off to the darker part of the cave and away from Steve, MaryLou and Roo, who is still passed out on the floor. "What the heck is happening here? I just knew MaryLou had a bad problem with hair removal, but this is nuts. Oh my God, Jacky, what is happening to your face? Get away from me Jacky!" |
| "Hee haaheehea cough cough heehaa cough, can't you see Lin," Jacky begins, "this has all been a trap to get you here, hee heaa hee cough." "Jack, you really need to stop smokin'," Lin acknowledges. "I know, now shut up and listen," Jacky retorts. "As you can see, Roo is really a vampire, Steve and MaryLou are werewolves, I'm a really evil woman with a skin problem and you, yes you, my dear, are....cough, you are a, cough..." |
| "A cough... telemarketer! Yes! A telemarketer... mwahahaha! Your job starts at 4:00 every morning, we like to sell things to drowsy people." |
| Lin screams, "No, I don't wanna be a telemarketer! Anything but that, Jacky! Let me be your maid; I'll scrub your toilets, shine the windows, pick the lint out of your belly button, anything you tell me to do! Just please, don't make me be a TELEMARKETER!!! |
| Quiet everybody! I think I hear a kangaroo outside the cave. Does anyone have an ear of corn? We can entice him inside and grab him. Then one of us can ride him into town and get help. |
| Lin looks at Steve like he has grown two heads, and of course thinks that this would be an improvement over the vampire look. "Steve, get real- when was the last time you saw anyone ride a kangaroo? Give it your best shot, but you better watch out for those fe...Ah, no - MaryLou, help HIM!" |
| Jacky just shakes her head in disbelief as the kangaroo with a ear of corn in its mouth kicks Steve's fangs out. "Steve," yells Lin tearfully, "you've just got blood all over my beautiful russet sweater!" Trying to save her husband, MaryLou dives at the angry Aussie critter, and lands right into her pouch. As the kangaroo and MaryLou disappear into the distance, Steve yells, "Dear, don't forget to send help!" |
| Jacky says ominously, "And then there were four..." "Oh cheer up," says Steve. "It's not the end of the world. It's just a bizarre little cave in Pennsylvania where we are being killed off one by one. Try to look on the bright side." |
| Lin stops trying to get the blood off her russet sweater and she looks at the other three as a horrified expression crosses her face. "MaryLou isn't gonna be a happy chappy, Steve." Jacky looks at Lin with an evil grin and winks. There is a large rustling noise and into view comes a huge, hairy gray round body, with a small head and eight large legs. A Huntsman spider is in the cave with them. |
| Roo wakes up due to all the screaming. As soon as she sees the spider, she starts screaming as well. |
| MaryLou comes stomping back into the cave, kicking the Huntsman spider out of the way. She is furious and out of control; begins throwing things left and right, hitting the spider with an iron skillet and killing it. "Now, look at what ya'll made me do!" She begins to cry. "Oh, poor wee spider; I'm sooooo sorry!" |
| Steve tries to comfort her by saying "That's alright, MooLoo. We'll get you a new one..." But MaryLou hysterically screams, "I don't WANT a new one! I want my Desdemona back! Oh boo hoo hooooooo..." |
| Lin, Jacky and Roo start to shake their heads. "MaryLou...what happened to the kangaroo? Are you aware that where there is one Huntsman there are probably several hundred? Maybe we could find you one of Desdemona's kiddies to love?" Jacky whacks Lin in the arm and Roo gives her a swift kick and glares at her. |
| "Guys," says Jacky, "all I know is that I'm hungry. Y'all done wasted the food I was gonna use for the garlic-corn dinner I was gonna fix. Lin, you're the telemarketer--if anyone can find a phone, I know you can. |
| Lin: But... but.. I don't want to be a telemarketer! (Lin starts to cry) Jacky: Here we go again... Roo: Why don't we just leave the cave? MaryLou: But Roo... we shouldn't. |
| MaryLou: Roo, don't you remember that eerie voice? hep me.....Hep Me......HELP ME!!!!!!!!!! Lin screams. Jacky faints into Roo's arms. |
| Steve sits in a corner of the cave with his back against the wall, sulking. His arms are folded across his chest and he is humming tunelessly. Roo pats Jacky's forehead with a cold wet cloth while MaryLou and Lin hold each other as they shake with fear. Finally, Steve gets up and disgustedly kicks a stone. "I can't believe I'm missing my Saturday morning shows because of this." |
| In the sudden silence, a faint voice can be heard coming from inside the cave. "Hep me, heppppp meee...HEP ME!" MaryLou and Lin are shaking harder, Jacky faints again, and Roo turns to Steve. "Well, Steve, are you the MAN or what? Do something!" |
| Steve sighs and gets up. "Okay, but one of you has to come with me. Who will it be?" |
| [A loud chorus of female voices arises in the air.] "Not me!" says Lin. "Not me!" says MaryLou. "Not me!" says Roo. Steve groans, "I can't take Jacky; she's lying senseless on the ground!" |
| Carrying a flashlight, Steve stealthily enters the depths of the cave. "I think I see what it is!" he calls, then silence. "Are you alright?" yells MaryLou, but the only reply is the slow drip of water from the ceiling of the cave... plink... plink... plink... |
| Lin and MaryLou grab hands and slowly creep forward; as they round the bend they can still hear someone or something calling for help. Steve is passed out on the ground. MaryLou screeches, "Stevie, my Stevie, oh no! "Uh, MaryLou, look at that," Lin said, shaking and pointing towards a web six feet high and eight feet wide. Something is caught in the middle. |
| Jacky, who continues to lie uselessly in the middle of the cave, slightly arouses at the sound of the screams. "What is it," she mummbles. "Please tell me it's something we can eat." She passes out again, still unaware of what is trapped in the web. |
| Gilbert Godfrey is trapped in the middle of the gigantic spider web. Gilbert: Don't just stand there, gawking, you idiots! Get me down from here! Lin: Were you the one yelling, "hep me...hep me... HEP ME, all night? Gilbert: Yeah, that's right, now GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! |
| Just then a loud rumbling is heard; an avalanche of rocks have fallen in front of the cave, blocking the exit. Everyone screams when they realize they are trapped now, even Jacky who has awoken and been searching for food. Steve: Oh this is just great; trapped in a cave with four women and Gilbert Godfrey! Roo: What are we going to do now?! MaryLou: We'll sing - This is the song that never ends; it goes on and on my friend; some people started singing it, not knowing what it was; now they'll go on singing it forever just because it's the song that never ends; it goes on and on my friend........... The End! |
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