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"Oh no! What did you do now?" |
| [Introduction]
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Meet the Perkle family. Mayloona and Stanly were unable to have a child, but when Mayloona's niece, Priscilla, miraculously escapes from a house fire that kills her parents, Mayloona and Stanly decide to raise her themselves. Priscilla seems sweet enough at first, but as she grows older, she becomes something other than sweet. By the time she is ten years old, events at the Perkle home are drifting out of control.... |
| "Priscilla! Get down here right now!" Mayloona was furious. In her hand was a small paper bag. Priscilla bounced down the stairs, strutted up to her mom, squinched up her nose, and said "What?" "Don't you talk to me in that tone of voice, young lady! I thought I told you to make sure you didn't leave anything in your pockets when you put your clothes in the hamper? Look at this!" Mayloona shoved the paper bag toward Priscilla. "You killed Tony!" "I didn't kill that disgusting frog. He was in the washing machine! If anyone killed him you did by leaving him in the hamper." Priscilla whirled around and ran back up the stairs, sobbing. When she reached the door of her room, she screamed out, "Murderer!" and slammed the door. Stanly, who had been listening in from his customary resting place, his leather recliner in the family room, spoke up. "Well, you really should have checked the dirty clothes before you washed them." Mayloona whirled on Stanly. "Why don't YOU wash the clothes if you know so damn much about how to do it!" Stanly went back to reading his paperback book, a cheap thriller about a really manly man who killed the bad guys and made love to lots of women. No sense in arguing with Mayloona about housework. But he didn't like to see his little girl Prissy upset. She had loved that frog. He became aware of someone standing next to him with her hands on her hips, one of them gripping a paper bag. He looked up at his wife. "What?" Mayloona shook her head in disgust and walked back to the kitchen, balling up the paper bag and tossing it into the trashcan. |
| Prissy waited in her room with the door slightly ajar to see if she could hear her mom leave the room. Mayloona, doesn't that just fit? I'll be sure to keep her looney This thought caused Prissy to have a fit of giggles. Hearing her mom stomp off she crept back down the stairs and went over to her father. Putting a properly miserable look on her face, Prissy touched his sleeve to get his attention. "Prissy, sweetheart! I am so sorry about Tony honey. He just got too much water this time. Don't be too sad. Daddy will help you find another frog." "Ahhh, Daddyman?" Prissy bent her head and managed a few sniffles. "Yes, sweetie?" "Could we do something to cheer me up? My little heart is just breaking apart. Why do things always die on me?" Stanly's heart melted more every time she looked at him with her sad green eyes. He just had to cheer her up. "I'll tell you what Prissy, grab a sweater and I'll tell Mommy we are going out to the Moo-munch for some of that triple chocolate almond icecream that you love so much. Would that help cheer you up?" Prissy gave Daddyman her sweetest smile and nodded her head yes. As she ran up the stairs for her sweater she called back "And maybe we could stop at Toy R Us?" |
| Stanly approached MayLoona cautiously, dreading to tell her about the toy store and ice cream. He knew how she'd react - just like the fifty thousand times before when this happened. Stanly: Uh, honey? I was thinking about takin Prissy out for a little drive. MayLoona eyed him suspiciously. "To where?" Stanly: Oh, nowhere particular. Just around. MayLoona: Don't you lie to me, Stanly Perkle! You're taking that girl to the toy store, aintcha? Every time she puts on that 'poor pitiful me' act, you run off to the toy store and spend hundreds of dollars on her! You have got to stop that! I'm telling you, it aint good for the child! [glares at him] |
| "But Mayloona, she loved that little frog." "Stanly, that child did not love a FROG! People don't love frogs!" "What about Kermit?" "Kermit's a puppet and I don't love him. Do YOU love Kermit, Stanly? "Nooo... But rememember how upset you were when your little dog Buddy died?" Mayloona softened a little. "Oh, go buy the child a toy if it will help. But don't spend a fortune just because a frog died." Stanly kissed her. "Okay, baby. We'll be back in a jiffy. Prissy! Let's go!" In Stanly's Taurus, Prissy began fiddling with the radio, turning the volume up high." "Not so loud, honey," said Stanly. "Oops!" said Prissy as the volume control snapped off. "I'm sorry, Daddy." "That's okay, baby, I'll get it fixed." Baskin-Robbins wasn't too crowded, just a couple of women at one table and a family of three at another. "Daddy. look how fat that woman is," said Priscilla, pointing at one of the two women. The woman looked at Stanly and Priscilla. Stanly said, "Priscilla, don't make unkind remarks about people. It's not nice." he smiled at the fat lady and she smiled back. "But, Daddy, she shouldn't be eating ice cream. It will just make her even fatter." The fat lady frowned. "Priscilla, no more remarks about anyone's weight or what they eat. Understand?" Priscilla looked down at the floor. "Yes." "What flavor do you want?" "I'm not hungry." "But you said you wanted some ice cream. Come on, let's have some delicious ice cream." "You pick it out." "Okay." Stanly turned to the clerk. "Two cones of chocolate ice cream, please." They sat at a table. Priscilla twisted her mouth into an expression of extreme distaste. "Ewww... There's something wrong with this ice cream." "No there isn't." Stanly laughed. "You're just teasing me. Eat and enjoy. Mmmm.... Good!" He took a big bite of his ice cream. A pain shot through his bad tooth. "Owww!" Priscilla laughed. "See? I told you it was no good! Hahaha!" Stanly clutched his jaw. He could feel a headache coming on. "It's good. I just forgot about my bad tooth." Priscilla turned in her chair and yelled at the clerk. "Your crummy ice cream hurt my daddy! He's going to sue you!" "Priscilla! Don't yell. Come on. We'll finish our ice cream in the car." As they headed for the door they passed the family of three -- mother, father, little boy. The little boy hollered, "Hey!" "Oops!" said Priscilla. The boy reached up to remove the gob of chocolate ice cream that had fallen out of Priscilla's cone and onto the top of his head. "We're sorry," said Stanly and hustled Priscilla out the door before the boy's parents had time to react. Priscilla dug in her heels outside the door. "My ice cream! It fell out!" "Here! Take mine." He shoved his cone into her hand and hurried to start the car. The sooner they were on their way, the better. |
| "Thanks DaddyMan, I just loooove you," Prissy sang out and smiled a big chocolate smile up at Stanly. Once again his heart melted. The poor kid had it so tough. As they pulled into Toys R Us Stanly decided he had better caution Prissy about running in the store and touching everything. A wetwipe on her face might also be in order. "Now Prissy, sweetie, please do not run around this store and make it hard for me to keep up with you. Here, let me wipe your face." "I'll be good Daddyman cause only good girls get presents, right?" "Yes, honey. Now let's get in there and see what is new in the last three days." Prissy reached up and grabbed hold of Stanly's hand. She ducked her head so he could not see the devilish light that had just entered her big green eyes. They might think that only good girls got presents but she knew different. |
| As soon as they stepped inside the store, however, Prissy forgot all her promises. She dropped Stanly's hand and made a mad dash at a display stand of the latest Barbie dolls. Stanly yelled, "Don't run, Prissy!" Prissy half-turned, and "fell" into the stack of dolls. Barbies flew every which way. Prissy began crying loudly. "Now look at what you made me do, Daddyman! If you hadn't yelled at me, I wouldn't have tripped and fell!" "I'm so sorry, Prissy. Here, let me help you up. Are you hurt?" Priscilla pointed at a red spot on her leg which she had made by forcing the edge of one of the doll boxes against her leg. "Look, my leg is hurt!" She began to cry louder and scream, as if in pain. |
| Stanly patted her shoulder. "Shhh... You aren't hurt that bad. Settle down or I'll have to take you outside." Priscilla abruptly stopped crying. "Can I have another Barbie?" "You already have 27 of them." "29. But I don't have Beerhall Barbie. Look! She even has a little mug to drink beer out of." "I don't think a beer-drinking Barbie is appropriate for a ten-year-old." She looked up at him sideways. "Daaaa-deeee... It isn't real beer! You're so funny. Look. It even comes with a little bowl of pretzels." "I'll admit that it's another masterpiece of the toymaker's art, but I think you should get a different Barbie." "Oh, screw Barbie. I'll get something else." "Priscilla! What kind of language is that?" "It's english, Daddy." "I don't mean that. I mean who have you heard talking like that?" "It was on TV." "It wasn't on Sesame Street." "Daddy, you don't think I still watch Sesame Street! It was on CSI." Stanly squeezed Prissy's hand. "You shouldn't be watching that." "It teaches you cool stuff about dead bodies. I want to be a doctor. I need to know that stuff." "True. Doctors need to know a lot about dead bodies. Why don't you become an undertaker?" "What's an undertaker?" "He's the guy who buries the dead bodies." Priscilla was silent for a moment, thinking. "That sounds cool, too. Are there any other jobs with dead bodies?" "Let's talk something else, honey. Look at these Lego blocks. Do you like Lego blocks?" |
| Prissy closed her eyes for a brief moment. you have got to be joking. What part of stupid is written on my forehead? Be patient. "Daddyman, I know you are just jokin'. I am ten not four!" Prissy gave Daddyman a cute giggle and watched the smile appear on Daddyman's face. Gotcha, you silly old fart. "No, lets go look at all the computer games. I saw a new one on TV that has some guy called a crypted keeper." Prissy grabbed Stanly's hand to drag him over to the computer games. Stanly sighed to himself thinking that Mayloona was going to be very unhappy at the amount of moeny he would be spending. He went into overload looking at all the available computer games. "Daddyman, look at this. It's a game called Anatomy- Can You Operate. This is the one I want. I really, really want it. I will be thes best daughter ever if you get it for me, pleeeaasse?" "Ah, Prissy, I don't know if this is such a good idea, mommy might not like this." "Course she will Daddyman, she wants me to be the smartest daughter ever. Well, with this I can figure out my job I'll do when I'm bigger. Pleeaasse. Mommmy won't mind." Stanly was reluctant. As he stood there a moment thinking he noticed that Prissy's face was getting red. Oh, geez, maybe she is getting a fever. Mayloona will go nuts. "Prissy are you feeling alright?" Prissy quickly processed these words and took the advantage. "Ah, no Daddyman. I think we better buy this quick and go home. I think that chocolate icecream you made me eat is gonna make me throwup." |
| Stanly went into anxiety overload; any mention of sickness or vomit sent his head spinning. "Oh, yes, let's hurry and get home so we can get you to bed! Oh, my poor Prissy, I'm so sorry. I really didn't think there was anything wrong with the ice cream. Maybe their freezer wasn't working properly? I'm going to call that ice cream shop when we get home! Right after, I call the doctor. Prissy clutched her stomach. "Oh, come on, Daddyman! Let's get to the cash register SOON!" |
| As soon as Stanly and Priscilla arrived back at the house, Priscilla leaped from the car and ran inside. "Mom! I'm sick!" Mayloona dusted the flour off of her hands and looked over the tops of her eyeglasses at Priscilla. "How so?" "Daddy made me eat rotten ice cream. Now my tummy hurts." Prissy put on her best pained expression. Mayloona rubbed her chin. "I think you need to go to bed and stay there until you feel better." "Okay. Can I have supper in bed?" "I thought your stomach hurt?" "I mean later when it feels better." "You're pretty sure it will feel better?" "Pretty sure." "In that case, why don't we just skip the waiting part and you can help me in the kitchen." "Mom! I'm too sick to help you now. You know that! Do you want to kill me like you did Tony?" Mayloona hesitated before replying, and who knows what random thoughts briefly flashed in the 'things to do' section of her mind, but her answer revealed nothing. "I don't think so." "Okay, I'll be upstairs." "No you won't. I said I want you to help me down here." "But--" "No buts! You can start by setting the table." With a scowl on her face, Prissy reached for the plates. She paused, toying with the idea of dropping one, but Mayloona said, "Don't even think about it." Prissy said innocently, "Can you read my mind?" "Yes. So watch what you think." "Mom! You can't read my mind!" Mayloona smiled. "Right now you are thinking that I can't read your mind." Priscilla giggled. "That's because I SAID it! What am I thinking now?" "How much I will love my sweet girl when she sets that table." "No, that's not what I'm thinking!" But Priscilla began placing the plates and silverware around the table. From his recliner, Stanly listened to them and smiled, enjoying the calm weather and hoping it would last more than just a few moments. Sometimes Prissy could be such a little hurricane. |
| Mayloona was also enjoying the calm weather. Prissy just needed a firm hand and to be told that she was loved on a regular basis. Her thoughts were interrupted when Prissy entered the room. "Mom, I finished with setting the table. Is it OK if I go try my new computer game?" "I guess so Prissy. You haven't told me what it is yet." "Oh, Mommy, it is soooo cool. It's called Anatomy- Can you operate? I'm gonna be a doctor someday for sure." "Prissy, maybe you better wait until I read the package before you play that game." "Oh, Mommy, Daddyman has already looked at it. He bought it for me so it must be okay!" "Just the same Prissy, I think I want to look at it first." Prissy could feel a foot stompin' surge building in her little body. That was not the way to handle Mayloona. She would just take the game away. Quickly, Prissy ran through her mental list of How To Get My Own Way. Rule # 1: Divide and conquer. "Mommy, don't you think Daddyman knows what is best for me?" "Prissy, don't be silly- of course I do." "Well, then why can't I go play with the game that HE picked out?" |
| "Because I would like to know what you're playing with also, Prissy. Do you think that only Daddyman should know those things about you?" Prissy sulked, "I guess not." "Okay then. Go get the video game for me to look at." Prissy walked slowly out of the kitchen, dragging her feet. Once outside, however, she picked up speed, running into the living room, and jumping on Stanly's lap. She immediately burst into tears. "Oh, Daddyman, I set the table like Mommy said to, even though my tummy was hurting something awful. And now she says I can't play with the new game you bought for me!" Stanley pats her back. "There, there, now. Don't you fret. I'll go talk to Mommy and find out what's up. Why don't you go lie down on your bed for a little while until dinner?" |
| Stanley confronted Mayloona in the kitchen. "Honey, you don't like the video game we bought today?" "I just want to see it first, Stanley. You know the kind of trashy games they sell." Stanley rubbed his chin. "This one is just a hospital sim. You know... teach the next generation of doctors." Mayloona set down a pitcher of ice tea on the table. "Stanley, anatomy is bodies and how do doctors see bodies?" Stanley rubbed his chin harder and frowned. "See them?" "Naked, Stanley." "Ohhhh, that's what you're worried about. I don't think it's real people in the game, just cartoons or something." "Well, that's what I'm going to find out, dear, before Priscilla has a chance to. After supper you and I will look at that game." Stanley smiled. "Okay, hon. Are we ready to eat?" |
| Prissy entered her room and threw herself on her bed in frustration. Things had not gone exactly as planned there. She was going to have to show the game to mommy and then mommy would insist that it go back. I have got to learn to operate. How do I keep the game? Just then Mayloona's voice called up the stairs. "Prissy, dinner is ready. Please come down and bring that video game with you." "I'm coiming Mommy." Prissy grabbed the game and headed for the stairs. I can always get sick during dinner and that will get her mind off the game and back on me. Prissy entered the diningroom and sat in her chair. She set the game on the chair next to her and placing her napkin neatly in her lap, smiled sweetly at Stanly and Mayloona. "Oh, Mommy this looks so good and smells even better." Stanly smiled down at Prissy. Mayloona started to pass the bowls around. "Can I see that game, please Prissy?" "Oh, Mayloona. let's eat this fine meal first." Mayloona knew when she was being flattered and distracted, but she nodded in agreement and they all tucked in. "Well, we are all done here except for desert, so why don't I just have a look now, Prissy. If the game is okay, you can play it after desert." "Here it is, Mommy." Just as Prissy started to hand the game over to Mayloona, she let out a yelp and clutched her stomach. "Daddyman, I think I am gonna be sick again - help me!" |
| Prissy, game in hand, went running towards the bathroom. Then, with a well placed finger at the back of her throat, she emptied her stomach of all her dinner. MayLoona and Stanly were standing outside the bathroom door, listening to the violent upchucking noises. "Oh dear," Stanly murmured. "Do you think there's something seriously wrong with Prissy?" MayLoona replied in a worried voice, "I don't know, Stanly. I guess tomorrow I will keep her home from school and take her to the doctor." From the other side of the door, where Prissy was listening intently, she smiled in triumph. |
Mayloona and Prissy sat in the waiting room of Doctor Morgan's office. "Mom?" Prissy said, "Why can't we see Doctor Morgan now?" "We have to wait our turn, honey." "I don't want to wait. I want to see him now." "I know you do, honey, but everybody has to wait." "What's wrong with her?" Prissy said, pointing at the lady sitting near them. "Don't point, Prissy." "Do you think she has bird flu?" The lady smiled and said, "What a sweet little girl. How old are you, dear?" Prissy grinned. "I'm ten! How old are you?" "Oh, I'm a lot older than that!" "A hundred years old?" "Not quite that old, but I'm getting there!" And the lady and Mayloona shared a laugh while Prissy squinted her eyes and tried to touch her nose with her upper lip. |
| Dr. Morgan's ancient nurse Helen poked her boney nose into the waiting room and with a sour expression announced the doctor would now see Prissy. Prissy stood, smoothed her new dress and headed towards the door. Mayloona started to follow but Prissy turned and declared herself old enough to see the doctor by herself. Mayloon started to protest but Prissy aimed her beautific smile at Helen and pulled her onside. "Helen, don't you think I am old enough to talk to the doctor myself?" Helen was not often taken in my patients but there was something about this little golden haired beauty that compelled her to agree. "Really Mayloona, I think Prissy can express herself well enough to talk to Dr. Morgan alone. You can have a word with him after he decides what is wrong." Not wanting to make a scene in a waitingroom full of nosey people hanging on their every word, Mayloona sat back down. With a toss of her golden curls Prissy entered the exam room and climbed up on the table. As Dr. Morgan entered she gave him a shy smile while her brain raced figuring out the way to get the doctor to agree she should be able to play with any computer game she deemed necessary. Suddenly she broke in to heart rending sobs... |
After a lifetime of treating the ailments of kids, Doctor Morgan had been daydreaming about his retirement -- Maybe at the end of the year? Or should he wait until Spring? -- but his reverie was interrupted by Prissy's sobs. "What's the matter, girl? Do you have a pain?" "Yes, my mother is hurting me. She won't let me play my Doctor game." "Your Doctor game?" "It's a video game." "Oh... Well, Mama knows best." "NO SHE DOESN'T!" Doctor Morgan was surprised at the intensity of Prissy's response. "She doesn't?" "No, she doesn't know ANYTHING! I want to be a doctor when I grow up. Like you! Don't you think that's good?" "Yes," Doctor Morgan smiled. "I think you'd be a wonderful doctor." "But how can I be a doctor if stupid Mayloona won't let me play my Doctor game? Huh?" |
| "Well what is this Doctor game about?" Doctor Morgan asked as he took out his stethoscope to listen to Prissy's heart. "It's a game that shows you what happens inside hospitals, you know, how you operate and things," Prissy said. "Hm..." Doctor Morgan wasn't suprised to find that Prissy was perfectly healthy, how often had she been on this very same table perfectly healthy with another childish problem with her parents. They were such good people. He had been their family doctor for years and trusted them both implicably. Surely any decision that they had made would be the right one. "I'm sure you mother has your best interests at heart Prissy. Ok, why don't you get your mother for me?" |
| Prissy was not at all happy about this turn of events but she nodded her head and went in search of Mayloona. "Prissy seems a bit unhappy Mayloona. She wants to learn about being a doctor and seems to feel that this new computer game will point her in the right direction." "I don't object to her playing the game, Dr. Morgan, but I really want to vet it before she uses it." Mayloona put on her reasonable face. Inside she was starting a slow burn over the waste of time and money at this visit to the doctor. She also knew she was being manipulated. At this Prissy broke into heart-rending sobs. "I just, I just, I just want to be, be like Dr. Morgan and help people and you don't want me to be 'cause you think I can't." Prissy threw herself into Dr. Morgan's arms. Startled the Dr. hugged Prissy and decided that this was getting out of hand. "Now Mayloona, I think that since they were selling this in the toy store we can safely assume that the game is fine for our little Prissy. Afterall, she is headed in a noble direction." At this Prissy, her back to Mayloona and her face buried in Dr. Morgan's soft stomach broke into a grin while continuing to shudder and sob. She figured she just won this round. "Well, Dr. Morgan, I don't want Prissy making herself sick so I guess I will let her play the game. I am sure that you know best." Prissy stiffled her triumph and glanced back at Mayloona with a watery smile. "Thanks so much. Someday I will be able to give you all the free medical help you need and makes heaps of money to support you and 'Daddy'. The two left the doctors office and headed home. They weren't in the house ten minutes before Prissy announced that she was off to explore the medical realm. With a sigh Mayloona let her go. In her room Prissy fired up her computer and inserted the disk. Within minutes she was absorbed in enough blood and guts to turn Hannibal Lector sick. As she tucked away the knowledge some very special ideas started to form in her mind. |
DaddyMan knocked on Priscilla's door. "Honey! Suppertime!" The door opened. "Okay, DaddyMan." Priscilla's face was alight with a strange glow. "Daddy? Can I have a puppy?" DaddyMan smiled. "Why sure, honey. I had a dog when I was your age - Mischief." "What happened to Mischief, Daddy?" "Well... dogs don't live as long as people do, so Mischief is in Heaven now." "Did you ever do any experiments on him, Daddy?" "Experiments?" DaddyMan looked puzzled. "I taught him a couple of tricks. Mischief was a smart little dog." |
| Stanly wondered what his daughter could possibly be thinking of "Experiments?" he said to himself. He knew it was something he would discuss with his wife but wondered all the same about what exactly Prissy meant by experiments. Maybe it may not be such a good idea after all? |
| Prissy flounced her way in to the diningroom as Mayloona entered with a platter full of meatloaf and roast vegetables. Meatloaf always made Prissy want to gag but she smiled at Mayloona and shared the news that they were about to be the proud owners of a dog. "What do you mean we are getting a dog, Prissy?" Mayloona stiffled a groan. "Daddy-man said I could have one 'cause he had one when he was my age." "Well, I think we will need to talk about this some more, Stanly?" Oh boy - here we go again. I should have asked Mayloona before promising.Stanly realised his error too late. "Ah, I think we would all benefit from a dog around ehre, Mayloona. And I have been thinking about having one for some time now." "Right, I'm making no promises Prissy, but we will talk about it and then I'll do some checking around." Mayloona stood to go get some ketchup from the kitchen and shot Stanly an exasperated look over Prissy's head. Stanly had the decency to look sheepish. Prissy content that she had created strife yet again, smiled at Stanly and then started daydreaming about all the new experiments she would be able to perform. Reaching for the ketchup she noted that it was almost the exact color of red that the blood was in the operations shown on her cd. A thrill of excitement shot through her. |
| "Isn't he cute?" DaddyMan said. Prissy laughed as the little puppy licked her face. "What's his name, Daddy?" "He doesn't have a name yet. You get to give him a name." DaddyMan Stanly was smiling. Puppies were so much fun. "I'll call him Death!" Stanly's smile fell away. "Death? That's not really a good name for a puppy, honey." "I want to name him Death!" "Priscilla, how about Champ or Rover or... Barky Boy?" "Barky Boy!? Oh Daddy! You're so silly! You said I could name him and I named him. Did you lie to me?" "No! Of course not. You can name him Death if you really want to. But think about it and... and maybe tomorrow if you want to name him something else..." "No, Daddy." Priscilla looked at Stanly with gleaming eyes and lowered her voice. "His name is Death." |
| Death? What kind of a name was death for a dog? Stanly thought as he smiled at his daughter. Now that he thought of it, he wondered what exactly his little girl wanted with this dog, she used the word experiments didn't she? Is this really such a bright idea? But it was too late now, they were already taking the dog home to meet his wife, hopefully his wife would love him as much as he did. If the choice of a name was up to him, he would call him Rocky as he seemed built like a rock! Hopefully he could handle anything his little girl was going to dish out. |
| Mayloona was furious. "A dog! I don't have enough animals to take care of aleady?" Prissy looked puzzled. "We don't have any animals." "You and Stanly! I have to feed and wash you two!" With her hands on her hips, Prissy said, "You don't WASH me!" "I wash your clothes. And it's about time you learned how to do the laundry and did some chores around here." "If I help wash the clothes can I keep the dog?" |
| Mayloona looked at Stanly absolutely furiously. Stanly knew that it would take a lot of hard work to try and keep this little treasure for his little girl. "You could wash me if you wanted to though?" Stanly said, gently reaching to stroke Mayloona's hair. Mayloona just brushed him aside. "Not now, Stanly. It's not like I don't have anything else to do. What do you take me for? Your servant?" She stormed out of the kitchen. |
| Mayloona was furious and started slamming pots and pans around. As she turned to get the vegetable peeler a soft whine filled her ears. With a sigh she raised her eyes towards heaven and then turned to the whining sound. There sat the cutest little puppy she had seen in a long while. His soft brown eyes stared up at her with a pitful look that had her bending down to pat his coal black head. She wasn't sure what breed he was. Most likely a Heinz 57 but she knew that often made the best dogs. Her heart caved in and Mayloona decided that the dog would stay. She wasn't about to let Stanly and Prissy off easy. But she was already in love with the pup. "You know fella, there is a $5.00 fine for whining around her." The puppy seemed to smile back happily at Mayloona's words. Just then the kitchen door banged open and Prissy landed on the puppy like a ton of bricks. |
| "Prissy! What are you doing? You can't jump on the little puppy like that!" Mayloona scolded as she bent down and pried the puppy from Prissy. Prissy's face turned red instantly. "Give me Death!" Mayloona froze. "What did you say?" she exclaimed as Stanly, worried by the noise, sauntered into the kitchen. "I want Death! Give him to me right now!" Prissy stomped her foot. "Err, what's going on, Mayloona?" Stanly asked as he glanced uncomfortably from one to the other. |
| "Stanly!" Mayloona said in a calm patient voice, "did you really call our dog Death? What kind of a name is that for a dog?" "No, Prissy named him," Stanly said gently. "Oh, so the fact that our daughter named it means that it's a perfectly good name for a dog now does it?" Mayloona said a little bit irritated. Stanley knew that this was her way of trying not to yell at him in front of Prissy. But Mayloona knew that she was very close to losing her calm demeanour. |
| Stanly stood his ground. "I agree that Death is not a great name for a dog, but I promised Prissy she could name it whatever she wanted. Do you want me to break my promise?" Mayloona stared at Stanly for a moment, then harumphed and went back to her meal preparation. Stanly breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed Prissy's hand. "Come on. Let's make a bed for Death to sleep on." "Okay, Daddy!" |
| After making the comfortable bed for Death and placing it in her bedroom Prissy gave some serious thought to Mayloons's reaction to the puppy's name. She knew she needed to keep Mayloona in the dark about her activites. Having a fuzz over the puppies name was not good. She needed Mayloona to be as dumb as Stanly. Prissy made her way down to the kitchen holding a squirming puppy in her arms. She longed to drop kick it downt he stairs to see how far it would fly but that would have to wait. Prissy let the puppy drop down to the floor outside the kitchen and opening the door shoved the pupply through with her foot. At the sound of a whimper, Mayloona turned to see Prissy and the puppy staring at her. Her heart melted again at the sight of the puppy. "Mayloona, know why I call the puppy Death?" "Nope," said Mayloona holding back a sarcastic comment. "Well, cause I just love him to death. See - Death is short for 'love him to death'. Prissy gave Mayloona a sweet smile. Mayloona wanted to keep peace and she thought this still strange but she nodded agreement and said, "Well I guess that makes sense child, but it is still a bit strange." Prissy just smiled and grabbing the puppy went up to her room again and fired up her computer. |
| She wanted to play her hospital game again, maybe she could get some interesting ideas for what she could practice doing on Death. Maybe Death could be her patient and she could be the doctor looking after him. What would come first, open heart surgery or...there was a knock at her door. |
| "Everything okay in here?" Stanly asked. "Sure, Daddy. Daddy?" "What?" "Can I have a baby brother?" Stanly laughed. "Maybe someday. Not anytime soon, though." "Don't you have enough money to buy one?" "Um... No, I sure don't. How is little Death doing in his new home. He seems to be sleeping very soundly." "Yes, Daddy. He's sleeping. I think he might be sick. I'm going to look on the computer and find out how to fix him." Stanly smiled. "You're quite a little doctor. Don't worry about Death. He's in good health. Be gentle with him if you play doctor. No thermometer! He would bite it in two." "Okay, Daddy." "We'll eat in a few minutes," Stanly said as he left to go find his comfortable chair by the TV. BratGirl Priscilla studied the monitor, noticing that there was more than one way to use a thermometer. |
| She was startled out of her rapt fascination by Stanly's loud voice. "Prissyyyy, come down for dinnerrrr!" "Gag" thought prissy to herself "I really hate it when he sings out his words like that." She prodded death, whom she knew, by now, was dead. This upset her greatly; not because he had passed away, but because he had died so quickly and she now had nothing on which to experiment. She decided not to tell Stanly and Mayloona for a while. She needed time to cook up a good story. She sat at the table with her foster parents, instantly turning her nose up at the meatloaf Mayloona cooked. "Looks and smells like dog food!" she snorted as a huge slab of the greyish meat combination was plopped on her plate. Stanly shot her a warning glance, but didn't say anything. "Speaking of dog food, how is little Death doing?" Stanly took a large bite of the meatloaf and grimaced slightly. "Oh, just fine, Stanly, we really played hard, and he is so pooped, he is sleeping again!" "Well don't forget to feed him, Prissy, you don't want Death to starve to death." Mayloona cringed at the words she just said, she still hated the name of the dog. He looked more like a champ, or something like that. "Don't worry, Mayloona, I am sure Death would loove some of this delicious meatloaf. I will take it up to him after I am done eating!" She surreptitiously shoved half of the slice inside a linen napkin and hid it under her skirt. In her twisted little mind, she began formulating a plan on somehow blaming Stanly and Mayloona for the death of Death. Perhaps she might get a new doggy to play with, if they feel guilty enough. |
| How Prissy was going to hide the fact that Death had followed his name was something that she would certainly have to think about. Hmm poisonous meat loaf? Um...somehow get Death run over by a car? So many options but how to execute them. |
Then the perfect plan occurred to her. She put Death's lifeless little body on the floor a few feet from her bedroom door. She clicked out the lights. Then she positioned herself next to her door. She cracked it open and yelled at the top of her lungs, "Daddy! Daddy! Help!" Then she screamed and closed the door. Stanly came running up the stairs. When he burst into the dark bedroom Prissy tripped him and he went down hard right on Death's corpse. "Oof!" Stanly said as he fell. "What happened?" "You killed Death!" "Huh? What? Why were you screaming?" "Death was so sick. But now you've gone and KILLED him!" Stanly looked at the squashed puppy. "Geez, honey! I'm so sorry! I fell. I didn't mean to do it." Prissy sobbed and ran to her bed. It took an hour of apologizing and a promise of a new video game and a new puppy, but Stanly was finally able to leave the room feeling that he had done all he could to set things right. After Prissy had finally fallen asleep, Stanly noticed she had a sweet smile on her face, so he knew his efforts to help her get over the trauma of losing her little pet were successful. When he met Mayloona downstairs he answered her questioning look with a cheerful, "Don't worry. I've taken care of the situation. Prissy will be fine." |
| Mayloona looked at Stanly like he had just grown a new head. "How could a perfectly healthy dog be dead, Stanly?" "Well I fell on him, didn't I? If I fell on you I don't reckon you would be moving very much either, Mayloona. You are exactly a giant yourself." "I don't think Prissy should have another dog. It just doesn't seem right. Besides, she took Death's death {and here she shuddered} so hard - what if something happens to the new dog?" "Let it alone, Mayloona. She was asking for a brother, let's just be happy she is satisfied with a dog." The following morning Prissy seated herself at the kitchen table and started making gagging faces behind Mayloona's back when she saw the oatmeal that was being dished up. "Prissy, I am really sorry about the dog but what was he doing in front of the door?" "Well, maybe he was tryin' to get out to be sick cause I gave him some of your meatloaf." Mayloona got her back up and started to protest as Stanly entered the room with a hearty "good morning my lovelies. Eat up Prissy and we will go dog hunting." Prissy shot a satisfied smirk at Mayloona and shoveled half the sugar bowls content over her cereal. Things were working out just fine. She better make sure though that this dog lasted a bit longer. |
| It was Saturday, and the local PetSmart was having their weekly adoption event. Prissy’s eyes widened in amazement as she surveyed the forty some-odd cages of dogs, cats, and other abandoned or abused animals. One cage housed a large iguana, nearly three feet in length, with one eye missing. It looked at Prissy and scratched plaintively on the glass. “Oh Daddy-man, can I take him home, he would be sooooOOooo much better than a puppy!” Stanly thought for a minute. If he brought this hideous creature home, Mayloona would never forgive him. She may even file for divorce. It pained him to do it, but this time he was forced to say no to his darling Prissy. “No, Priscilla,” he told her, watching her face turn beet red in fury, “We cannot bring an iguana home. Mayloona would absolutely not have it!” “But DADDY… I WANT him.” Prissy ran up to the inundated adoption officer and started questioning her. Stanly grabbed the hood of her Old Navy jacket and said, “Now wait a minute missy. I said no, and no means no.” “What do you mean no? I said I wanted the iguana, and I am going to HAVE the iguana!” the adoption officer looked helplessly at Stanley and remained silent. Prissy looked at the officer, looked at Stanly, smirked and lay down on the floor. She began pounding her fists and feet on the checkered tile, screaming in unbridled fury “I want the iguana! Daddy never lets me have anything, he needs a home, and my mean old daddy won’t let me have him, WAAAaaaaAAAAaaa!” Prissy made sure she dragged out the end scream as long as it ‘took’, which wasn’t very long, because Stanly responded to her tantrum almost immediately. “PRISSY! Prissy, calm down! You can’t have the iguana, but maybe you can have TWO puppies instead!” The adoption officer rolled her eyes. Prissy immediately got up, dusted herself off, and widely grinned. There were no tears in her eyes, of course. “Thank you , oh thank you Daddy-man!” she threw her arms around Stanly’s waist. The adoption officer rolled her eyes again and looked at Stanly as if to say, “Man, are you whipped!” It took the better part of two hours, but Prissy finally found her puppies. They crowded a cage in the far corner. A sign on top read: “Butch and Sundance. Great Dane x ? ten weeks old MUST be adopted together. No cats, special needs , no very small children or elderly people…” Prissy had to strain to keep the look of sheer evil delight off her face. These were going to be big dogs. The bigger the dog the better. She knew after the fit she threw about the iguana, Daddy wouldn’t refuse her choice, no matter how much it would disrupt the home. Stanly sighed in resignation as he walked up to the adoption officer and signed the papers. “Are you sure you can handle special needs dogs in your house?” she asked him. “Oh yes, our house is very large, and our Prissy is quite the little momma when it comes to dogs!” He failed to tell the officer that their last dog had lasted less than a day, but his guilt wouldn’t let him divulge any more information. The adoption officer had been trying to get these puppies adopted for several weeks now, but as they grew larger, the interest in them waned considerably. No one wanted half grown puppies, they all wanted the sweet little six week old weanlings. And the fact the dogs were fearful of strangers and had to be adopted together didn’t help. Alas, the family did qualify, but she was reluctant to give her final signature. She was going to have nightmares about that little girl. So Stanly and Prissy left the adoption center, with two fawn sized, huge pawed puppies. They pulled and strained against the leashes and gagged loudly as Stanly soldiered them into the car. The forty pound bag of dog food barely fit in the trunk. Prissy sat in the back as Stanly drove silently home with the puppies. The puppies were slathering her face as she giggled fiercely. After ten minutes of silence, Prissy spoke. “Daddy, I don’t like the names Butch and Sundance, I think they need new names!” Stanly cringed, because he knew what was coming next. Reluctantly, he asked her, “Honey, what would YOU like to name your new puppies?” “How about Rigor and Mortis? I heard those names on my new doctor game, and I really, really, like them!” Stanly nearly drove off the road in surprise. |
| "Rigor and Moris sounds like fantastic names honey Mayloona will be very pleased with those names," Stanley said. Prissy smiled and giggled thinking about all the things that she could do with her new puppies. Considering how easy it was to get more dogs in the house she thought that she could manage more dogs if necessary. Just to work out how to work on it without killing it for ooh, at least a month or two. Show that she really loved it and then have it die ooh how would she cover it this time? "Come on honey, let's show your new dogs to Mayloona," Stanley said. "Two dogs? you got her TWO dogs?" Mayloona said furious. Prissy giggled, "Daddy man is so nice," |
But Mayloona wasn't inclined to agree with Prissy's opinion of Stanly. "Nice? He's a spineless wimp. How could you bring two dogs back with you?" Stanly smiled. "Awwww, honey, two dogs aren't much more trouble than one." "They're TWICE as much trouble, Stanly. And it will be me that cleans up after them." "No, I promise Prissy will take care of them and I'll help her give them a bath. Look, I'll make sure she takes care of them. You don't have to worry about a thing." Mayloona looked long and hard at Stanly, once again regretting she ever married him but resigned to seeing the marriage through no matter how poor a husband he was, until finally she sighed and said, "Okay, Stanly, but make sure you keep that promise." |
| Two weeks had passed. Stanly was looking slihtly worse for wear. Prissy was not really holding up her end of the puppy care deal leaving most of the work for Stanly. He had to clean up after the dogs when Mayloona wasn't looking and later give credit to Prissy so Mayloona would think she was doing a great job. "Mayloona, I am so pleased witht he way Prissy has taken on the responsibility of caring for the dogs. She takes their care seriously." Just then a long-legged bag of bones came flowing through the kitchen door nearly knocking Stanly out. Rigor, the smaller of the two dogs spied salvation and darted behind Mayloona. The dogs knew instinctively that she loved animals and it was safe when she was in a room. "Why Rigor, what are you doin'? Where is Prissy, big guy? I am sure she will be looking for you." Mayloona bent to pat Rigor's silky head. The puppy threw his considerable weight in to leaning against Mayloona. He held up his left paw and gave Mayloona a soulful look and a painful whine. Mayloona bent closer to have a better look at his paw when the kitchen door swung open again and Prissy, looking irritated, burst in to the room dragging Mortis along with her. |
| Mayloona looked at Rigor's paw. One of his paws was injured. "Prissy! What happened to poor little Rigor?" The lanky brindle puppy cowered behind her, whining. "I was trying to trim his nails, and he tried to BITE me!" Mayloona wondered just how Prissy had attempted the "trim." Mortis was a beautiful dog. He had grown nearly six inches taller than his brother, and his fur was the color of coffee with cream. His muzzle and paws looked like they had been dipped in chocolate. He was also very stupid. Mortis gazed up at Mayloona with vacant eyes, and drooled onto the floor. Mayloona noticed one of his paws was injured too. "Prissy, did you try to trim Mortis's nails too?" "Yes, Mommy, I did. And he was such a good puppy he didn't even whine!" He probably has no pain receptors in that vacant skull, Mayloona thought to herself as she bent to examine Mortis. He held his paw high from the shiny linoleum. Rigor stayed close to Mayloona, and when she ventured toward Prissy, he growled low in his throat. "Honey, how did you 'trim' their nails?" "Oh, I used daddy's pliers. I thought it would do a great job, their nails are so big!" Rigor whined and thundered upstairs, where he curled up tight in Mayloona and Stanly's bedroom closet. He licked his paw, and plotted his revenge. Mortis stood beside Prissy, licked her cheek, then burped and filled the room with his 'essence.' |
| "Stanley, you can fix this problem, can't you?" Mayloona said staring at her husband from across the room. "Of course I can. Come on Prissy, let's go and help the dogs," Stanley said taking his little girls hand. |
Rigor was backed into the corner of the closet and growling. "Geez!" Stanly said. "Maybe he has rabies." Prissy yanked at Stanly's sleeve. "I can fix rabies, Daddy!" "We better let a veternarian take a look at him." Suddenly Rigor bounded out of the closet, leapt over their heads, ran to the window and went through it with a crashing tinkle of broken glass behind him. Prissy ran to the window. "He's running away, Daddy!" Sure enough, Rigor was far down the street running as if his tail was on fire. "Well!" Stanly said. "That dog wasn't very loyal. But at least we still have Mortis." "Yeah," Prissy said with a sly grin. "At least we still have Mortis." |
| Mortis's feeling of relief was short-lived. He had barely relaxed in a corner of the kitchen where Mayloona kept a sheepskin for him to sleep on when he visited with her when Prissy barreled through the door. He startled up and tried to sling towards the back door but Prissy grabbed his collar jerking his head back. As she struggled to hold on to him Mayloona fixeda glaring eye on her. "Prissy you let that dog go! Did I just hear a crash upstairs?" "Yes, but Daddyman is fixing the window." Prissy continued to pull on Mortis's collar trying to drag him out the door. "I said to let him go. What window and why?" "Oh - Rigor jumped out the window and took off down the street. Daddyman thinks he is gone for good." Prissy threw all her weight into pulling on the collar and Mortis started to slide across the floor after her. "Oh my word - Stanly get yourself down here NOW!" |
| Rigor was not gone for good. He ran about a block until he knew he was a safe distance from that…that human they called “Prissy.” He had not wanted to appear so vicious; he had merely been plotting his revenge on the small human when he was interrupted by the girl and her father. He needed time to think. He raised a huge paw and overturned a silver trashcan,. A cornucopia of goodies cascaded from the interior onto the sidewalk. He was making progress on a leftover turkey leg when an odd-looking minivan pulled alongside him. The letters Anytown ASPCA were painted on the side panels of the truck and a large, unfriendly looking man was behind the wheel. Rigor was deeply absorbed in his consumption of the turkey leg. He was a growing puppy, and that small female human forgot to feed him this morning. He didn’t even hear the man sneak up behind him, but he did feel it when the steel lariat tightened around his neck. He was startled and tried to struggle free, but the man was so large and determined, Rigor couldn’t break away. “Hey there big fella, calm down!” The man’s voice was surprisingly kind, and the tone placated Rigor. He stopped struggling and licked the man’s outstretched hand. “My, you’re a handsome one, just look at all those stripes!” The man patted Rigor’s head, and looked at the tag on his collar. “Rigor? That is some unusual name big guy, but it seems to fit you some how!” He noticed the injured paw, and small cuts on his body from jumping through the window. The dog seemed a little underfed too. “You know what, big guy? Let’s take you downtown and get a look at you before we return you home, what do you say to that?” By that time, Rigor’s tail was wagging so fiercely that he was causing red marks on the man’s leg. Rigor eagerly followed the man to the back of the van and did not struggle when he was loaded into the large crate in the cargo space. He missed Mortis, and that large female human, but he knew somehow this man would try to make things right. He curled up in the crate and fell asleep, twitching and huffing in his slumber. |
| Stanley sighed as he walked back down the stairs to his wife, what was it that had happened this time? He thought as he walked into the kitchen where Mayloona was starting on tonights dinner. "Did one of our dogs just jump out the window Stanley?" she asked. "Well um..." Stanley said. "Tell the truth Stanley or so help me," Mayloona said. |
"It was the darndest thing you ever saw, Mayloona," Stanly said. "That dog just took a flying leap through the window and ran off down the street." Mayloona gasped. "You don't suppose he has rabies?" "Nawww, I think he was just a crazy dog. We're probably lucky to be rid of him. He might have flipped out one day and hurt Prissy." He noticed Prissy trying to pull Mortis out the back door. "Where are you taking Mortis, Honey?" "Just for a walk, Daddy. We're going to look for Rigor." "Let's not worry about Rigor. He'll find a new home somewhere. We have Mortis and one dog is enough." Prissy twitched her nose. "But how can I do a brain transplant with only one dog?" Stanly laughed. "A brain transplant! I think you've been watching too many scary movies. How about we give Mortis a bath? He'd like that better than a new brain." Prissy scowled. "Doctors don't give baths. They do operations." "No, doctors are very clean. They have to wash themselves and they have to wash the patient before they operate." "They do?" "Sure. If you want to be a doctor then you have to be very clean and neat. How's your room looking today?" "My room?" "Yes. It's a doctor's room. Is it clean and neat?" "I'll go see. Will you come up and see?" "Sure." As Stanly and Priscilla headed up the stairs Mayloona called out, "Don't be up there too long. Supper's almost ready!" |
| When they got upstairs, they were disappointed to find Mortis had gone missing. Apparently, he had exited the same upstairs window that his brother had bounded through earlier. Prissy shook with anger. "I need my dog back, daddy, and NOW! I need him to do my doctor stuff, daddy help me find him!" Stanly looked at his little girl who was crying, but somehow had no tears in her eyes, and said, "Sure honey, as soon as supper is over, we will go look for him." "Forget supper, I want him back NOW!" Prissy screamed the last word, bringing her right foot down hard on the carpet to emphasize the point. Stanly glanced out the window and sighed. It was nearly dusk and his stomach was rumbling. That dim-as-a-Christmas-tree-bulb bag of bones is probably somewhere chasing his own shadow, and I have to miss supper! Stanly thought resentfully, and he patted Prissy's golden hair, wondering what to do next. The sun was setting when the duo descended the stairs, Stanly looking defeated. Mayloona put her hands on her hips. "What now, Stanly?" Stanly couldn't meet her gaze as he reached for his light jacket. Prissy followed smugly behind him. |
| "We were going to go and look for the dog, Daddy man said," Prissy announced. Mayloona looked at Stanley, "Not before you have dinner sweet heart, now go inside and wash your hands and then we will all go and look for the dog together," "But I want him back now! He could be hungry and alone and..." Prissy hid her face pretending to cry. |
Stanley shrugged. "We'll just look for a few minutes..." "No, Stanley!" Mayloona said. "Supper is ready now! Eat first and then look." She whirled on Priscilla who was just about to protest. "And YOU will be quiet and eat your supper. If there is one thing I insist on in this house it is that meals be eaten on schedule, on time when I prepare them. A firm mealtime makes for a strong family. Now sit down and eat!" "Yes, dear," Stanley said. Priscilla frowned but pulled out her chair and sat down with her arms folded across her chest. Somewhere off in the distance a dog howled. Priscilla looked up. "Mom?" Mayloona pointed at Prissy with her fork. "No! Eat!" |
| Prissy glared at Mayloona while her brain worked at hyper-speed trying to figure out exactly how far she could push Mayloona. With a mental sigh she grabbed her fork and started to shovel the food in her mouth making her cheeks bulge like a chipmonk. Mayloona stared hard at Prissy and was about to to tell her to slow down and act like a lady when the howl sounded again. This time it was closer and to Mayloona it sounded like a dog in great pain. Mayloona shoved back her chair and grabbed Prissy by the hand. "Well come on child - there is a dog in trouble out there and I think it is ours." Prissy and Stanly raced to the door along with Mayloona. Prissy had trouble hiding the smirk on her face. Things couldn't have worked out better. "Stanly, if anything bad has happened to Rigor or Mortis I will never forgive myself," Mayloona cried as she stumbled down the walk. Just then, barely 20 yards to the left, an even more mournful howl split the night. |
| “I heard it just around that corner!” urged Stanly as the patchwork family of three turned toward the sound. Mayloona realized the sound was coming from between the two oldest houses in the neighborhood. They stood at the end of a cul-de-sac, because the people who owned the houses refused to give the developer their property when the subdivision was made. Overgrown weeds choked the lawns, and a scraggly, sun blotched ivy blanketed the windows. Most of the windows were broken due to vandalism. Surprisingly, the gingerbread trim and ornate porch fixtures remained intact. It seemed no one wanted to go nearer than throwing distance from the houses. They were rumored to be haunted. Again they heard the horrible howl. It sounded distorted, metallic and otherworldly. Between each creepy howl there was a hollow warbling clang, reminiscent of a possessed Jamaican kettle drum. “Mommy, mommy, I see him!” Prissy shouted as she ran between the houses. “NO Prissy DON’T!” screamed Stanly. He ran after her. Mayloona just rolled her eyes and flipped on the large flashlight, since neither her husband nor daughter remembered to do so. She followed their path. Mayloona was startled by an ear splitting scream, the kind that only a girl Prissy’s age could manufacture. It was followed by loud, hysterical laughter, which she knew came from Stanly. Confused and a little amused, she made her way through the overgrown lawn and found the source of the ruckus. Stanly was literally rolling on the ground laughing. Prissy was crying, and the street light from the adjoining neighborhood illuminated the source of entertainment. Mortis stood in front of his family, wagging his tail insanely. He had a large, galvanized steel bucket stuck on his head. In his excitement, he bumped his bucketed head against a metal clothes pole that jutted like a dead tree from the alley way. A mournful howl followed, Resulting in a howl from Stanly, as he lay on the ground paralyzed by laughter. “Mommy Mayloona, help Mortis, he’s hurting himself!” Prissy screamed, tears erupting from her rarely used tear ducts. Mayloona fought laughter herself, as she was quite impressed with Prissy’s genuine display of emotion. “Come here, sweetie!” she cooed to Mortis. He blindly followed her voice. Mayloona placed her hands on either side of the old bucket and said, “Stanly, call him!” “Hahaha! *snort * Mort…he heee…Mortis!!” Stanly was finally able to manage between fits of laughter. Like the devoted lump of clay he was, Mortis answered Stanly’s call, instantly pulling his oversized head from the galvanized bucket. Maylonna plopped on the ground from the sudden exit and Mortis bounded over to Prissy. Stanly erupted in a new bout of laughter, and Mortis slathered Prissy's face with sloppy dog kisses. Prissy was hysterical. She was glad that Mortis was all right, but didn’t want Stanly or Mayloona to know it. “Bad doggy!” she screamed to the huge puppy, whacking him on the behind a couple times. “Don’t you EVER do that to me again!” Despite her efforts, those awful tears came again. No matter what she did, they kept coming. It was a new feeling for her, being so happy she was sad. Stanly had never seen her so emotional, and didn’t quite know how to handle it. Mayloona did, however, and hugged Prissy tightly, until the tears stopped. “Never again…” whispered Prissy against Mayloona, as the last of her tears exited her eyes. “What, Prissy-Pie?” Mayloona asked. “Oh, nothing,” Prissy said a little louder, between the after-crying hitches. |
| "I can't lose another dog like this!" Prissy thought as she walked home with Mortis. It's interesting that such a silly dog would actually cause some kind of a change in Prissy. But she felt that this dog somehow had pulled on her heartstrings in just the right area. So she started thinking of what other things she could possibly do when she grew up...she had an interest in a few things, motor mechanics, so many men got into that kind of thing surely it should be about time that a woman got into it. But she intended on showing less body parts then some people do when they were under there or was she thinking about the sink? What was that called...oh a plumber..they fixed electrical equipment didn't they? No..no that would be an electrician..which one sounded most interesting...Prissy thought...hm...I suppose I'll just go for the easiest one, she thought. Motor mechanics. Daddyman and Mayloona had two cars outside that she could take a look at...surely it couldn't be too hard to get that bonnet thingy up..and Stanley had some books on motorcycles..surely the difference between the two wouldn't be that much different..Daddyman had some tools in the shed...Prissy made up her mind to take a book, take Daddyman's tools and look under the bonnet. Maybe she could even train Mortis to bring her the tools she wanted. |
Early the next morning Stanly was awakened by the sound of clings and clangs coming from the garage. "What the..." he muttered and crawled out of bed. He pulled on his robe and stumbled down the stairs. "Hi, Daddyman!" sing out Prissy. There were grease smudges on her face and arms. She held up something that looked like it should be attached to an automobile motor. "What does this thing do, Daddy?" Stanly frowned. "Where did you find that?" "Under the bonnet of your Buick, Daddy. There's a whole bunch of stuff like this under there." |
| "And guess what, Daddyman - I found Rigour as well. He was under your car." Prissy had a grin on her face that nearly split it in half. Stanly stared around him at all the parts that had once been living where they belonged - inside his lovely Buick. Tears filled his eyes. "Prissy, what have you done?" "I'm fixin' the car. I'm gonna be a motor mechanic and maybe even invent a car that runs on compost." Prissy felt proud of her idea while Stanly just sat down in a heap on some boxes. "What's the matter Daddyman? Don't you want me to be a motor mechanic?" Prissy felt a snarl developing in her gut. She really hated being deterred from her goals and being nice had lasted less than 24 hours before the real Prissy reared her head. |
| As if on cue, a uniformed officer appeared at the garage door. He was over six feet tall, and had the physique of a body builder. Prissy gazed up at the man from underneath the car. She did not like this man. He smelled like metal. "Morning officer, what can I do for ya?" Stanly was cheerful, until he saw the look on the officers' face. "This your dog?" the uniformed officer inquired. "Um... yes it is, what has he done?" Stanly stammered. "HE hasn't done anything. An animal rescue officer from Anytown ASPCA found your dog rummaging through someone's trash can." "And there's something wrong with that?" Stanly questioned. "Yes there is. Despite the fact your dog was unleashed and destroying someone’s property..." It was trash, for Christ's sake, thought Stanly. "Your dog was severely malnourished and had some cuts on his paw and body that needed medical attention. What do you have to say to that?" The officer tapped his foot impatiently. Prissy scooted far under the car where the officer couldn't see her. Rigor, who was also under the car, growled low in his throat. "I am returning your dog to you with a warning. If conditions don't improve for this animal, you will be charged a fine and possibly serve some jail time." Stanly was speechless. He glared under the car, where the dog and girl were hiding. How did he let himself get in this mess? His favorite antique car had been mangled, and the freaking officer was wanting to charge HIM with what his blond menace DAUGHTERhad done. Or hadn't done, depending on how you looked at it. "One more thing." the officer continued, "Veterinary care isn't free. Here is the bill from the ASPCA for your dog's stitches, antibiotics and grooming." Stanly gaped at the bill. "FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS??" he screeched in disbelief. "Yes," said the officer "and it needs to be paid off in three months, or you go to collections. Have a nice day!" the officer gave Stanly a forced smile and turned sharply, walking back to his cruiser. Stanly felt a pain in his chest. |
| "I'll...I'll look at the books we have inside..maybe I can fix the car?" Prissy suggested. Stanley just sat on the side of the sidewalk not talking to anyone. |
Stanley sadly shook his head. "No, that's alright. Don't work on the car anymore." Stanley buried his head in his arms. "First the washing machine conks out and now this." Prissy's ears perked up. Her eyes gleamed. The washing machine! Why hadn't someone told her it needed fixing? This would be the perfect surprise. She could fix the washing machine and both Stanley and Mayloona would be so happy! She quietly tip-toed away, leaving Stanley with his head in his arms, quietly sobbing. |
| Prissy looked around the kitchen to see if Mayloona was about. It would be terrible if she got started on her newest project and was interrupted by Mayloona. Prissy could hear Mayloona talking on the phone and from the sounds of the conversation Mayloona would be occupied for quite a while. Accompanied by Rigor and Mortis she made her way to the laundry. The laundry was a clean as Mayloona's sparkling white kitchen. The large washer stood silently in one corner. Where shall I start? thought Prissy. Poking into the plastic bag she carried with her everywhere now she pulled out her trusty red screwdriver. Turning to the dogs Prissy said, "Well guys, let's shove her away from the wall and have a look at the back." Within seconds Prissy had the back off and was staring at a tangle of wires and belts. It was obvious that some of this needed to come out. With a delighted squeal that caused both dogs to take off for parts unknown, she set to with a will and soon had every wired pulled off and the motor dangling. The fan belt was tossed in to a corner and Prissy was soon covered in grease. Just then she heard the sound of Mayloona calling for Stanly. Panic engulfed Prissy. With a smothered oath she grabbed her plastic bag shot out of the laundry door. Hearing the bang of th laundry door closing Mayloona hurried over to investigate. Her screams had Stanly running thinking someone was trying to kill her. The sight that met his eyes sent him swaying and then crashing to the floor. |
| "Stanly," sobbed Mayloona to her seemingly unconscious husband, "We have to do something about Prissy. Ever since she grew past ten, she has been nothing but trouble!" "Make that four." Stanly mumbled under his breath, as he was slowly returning to consciousness. "What was that?" "Oh nothing dear, I just said help me off the floor." "Sure thing, Puddin'Cakes!" The use of this particular pet name, and the fact that she said it so sweetly, caused a reaction in Stanly that he hadn't felt in some time. After she helped her husband off the floor, The middle-aged couple embraced, and kissed like teenagers. "Oh Stanly!" Mayloona mock scolded him. Stanly picked up the skinny woman and effortlessly carried her upstairs, where they closed the bedroom door and did what most couples do when they are in a romantic mood. From the interior of the garage, she could hear Stanly and Mayloona totally forgetting what she had done. Talk about lucky, she thought to herself as she entered the laundry room and began working on the dryer. |
| Stanley and Mayloona were occupied for quite a long time - enough time for Prissy to finish her work on the dryer, and also "fix" the garbage disposal, the dishwasher, and the electric coffee maker. She was busy with the bathroom sink when Stanley and Mayloona finally emerged from their bedroom. "Prissy, why are your pants hanging around your knees?" Mayloona gasped. |
| "Um..they are?" Prissy asked looking down. She saw her pants were down..hmm..maybe she could learn how to fix those as well? "Don't worry I'll fix it," she said. |
Something inside Stanly's head clicked. He was basically a nice guy. He had never spanked Priscilla, and he had been proud of that. For some reason, he now felt like a chump and that made him angry. His face darkened and he growled, "I think it might be time for a spanking." Priscilla's eyes grew wide. "A spanking?" She had never been spanked, but she knew what it was from talking with other kids. Stanly nodded his head. "Yep. A spanking. A little girl has been very bad and she has to be punished now." Mayloona grabbed Stanly's arm, but she didn't say anything to object. She knew it was never his way to hurt Prissy. The mood in the room was so heavy that it made Priscilla want to cry. A tear formed in the corner of her eye and trickled down her cheek. "No, Daddy, please..." she said, and Stanly's will weakened. How could he spank his precious little Prissy? But his voice was firm. "Got to your room, Priscilla, and wait for me there." Priscilla started sobbing. "No, Daddy..." Stanly shouted, "I said go to your room!" and Prissy ran up the stairs and slammed the door to her bedroom. Mayloona still had hold of Stanly's arm. She looked into his eyes. "What are you going to do?" |
| Stanly looked at Mayloona and frowned. Part of him knew that Prissy was out of control. Trouble followed her around and at the end of it was screeching and shouting from Mayloona. The other part of him was still feeling pretty mellow. He and Mayloona had had an afternoon of delights not experienced in a very long time. At that thought he felt his recently worn out parts starting to stir anew. With a grin he grabbed Mayloona and turned towards the laundry. "Why don't we let Prissy stew for a while gal and go check out the spin cycle on the washer?" Mayloona gasped and then turned beet red. She knew they shouldn't be fiddlin' while Prissy did a slow burn but she was already startin to tingle and she pushed Stanly on. The laundry door closed with a thud and the lock snapped in to place. Upstairs Prissy snuffled and blew her nose. She was furious. Daddyman never spoke to her like that. How dare he? It was all Mayloona's fault. She had done something to Daddyman in the bedroom that turned him against Prissy. Waiting a few more minutes Prissy noticed a distinct silence. It seems her punishers were not following her. Poking her head out the door and seeing the coast was clear she hurried over to Mayloona's room and started pulling open the drawers to her dresser. "We will just see who has the last laugh here. I am gonna fix her but good." Prissy spoke to her admiring audience of Rigor and Mortis. They had come up to find her. "Let's take these clothes outside and down to the creek." |
| Prissy had a large black garbage bag stuffed to overflowing with clothes. She didn't stop at Mayloona's clothes, she decided to stuff some of Stanly's in there too. She tugged the yellow straps to close the bag and attempted to move it. The bag was so heavy she couldn’t get it to budge. In a blind fit of fury, she kicked the bag hard, accidentally ramming her stocking clad foot into the heel of Mayloona’s favorite high heel boots. Words began to emerge from Prissy’s mouth that made the dim-witted Mortis shriek and run from the room. Rigor remained behind, growling softly. Mayloona and Stanly were done checking the spin cycle, and were heading upstairs to confront Prissy when Mortis came thundering down the stairs, knocking Mayloona to the bottom. “Stanly!” she screamed “I think I’ve broken something!” She was sobbing loudly when Stanly tried to pick her up. The sudden movement caused her to scream again. “We had better call an ambulance! Prissy, get down the stairs this instant, your Mother is hurt!” Prissy came to the head of the stairs. “She is NOT my mother, Daddy-man.” “Do NOT speak disrespectfully to Mayloona, get me the phone and get it NOW!” Geesh thought Prissy, Stanly has never talked to me like that, and I don’t like it! She stood stubbornly at the top of the stairs and said “No!” “NOOOOOWWWW!” screamed Stanly, so loud that spittle flew from his mouth. |
| Prissy just looked at Mayloona in pain on the steps in Daddyman's arms. "Why?" she said standing there, "it's not like she really gives a damn about me anyway. Neither do you. You're a rotten mean father and you never give me anything I want ever!" With that Prissy ran out of the room and slammed the door of her bedroom. She sat there thinking of what she should do next to teach Mayloona a lesson. She deserved to fall like that, that's what you get for taking Daddyman away from me! She thought. |
Stanly restrained the urge to run up the stairs and punish Prissy. First he had to get help for Mayloona. "Hello, 911? I need an ambulance right away. My wife tripped on the dog and fell downstairs." In her pink bedroom Prissy got out her school backpack and stuffed a change of clothes into it. She waited with her door cracked, listening as the ambulance pulled up. The paramedics put Mayloona on a stretcher, and then, when everyone was out in the yard, Prissy ran down to the kitchen, filled the rest of her backpack with snacks, and slipped out the back door. It only took a moment to reach her "special place" in the woods, but now that she was there it occurred to Prissy that this would probably be the first place that Stanly would look for her. She rubbed her little chin and tried to think of a better hideout. |
| Rigor and Mortis arrived snuffling and licking at Prissy. "Aw, cut it out you two. I need to come up with a new place to hide and I need to do it fast. Whadda ya think?" Rigor and Mortis settled down on their respective haunches and looked at Prissy enquiringly. They really wished they knew what she was talking about. "Alright, it looks like I have ta figure this out by myself. Come on you two." Hefting her school backpack on her shoulders Prissy headed out across the creek and over the field. She decided that she would head int he direction of an old house that sat broding on a hill above their property. "Daddyman will never think to look for me here, guys. He forbid me to ever go to the old Tupperman house and that is the one thing I never disobeyed him about - so far." At that thought PRissy grinned. "We can set up house and run our own lives there. No more Mayloona telling me and Daddyman what to do. No more Daddyman givin' in to Mayloona when she gets that funny look on her face and starts makin' eyes at Daddyman." After a long tramp through the field and up the hill Prissy and the dogs heaved a mutual sigh of relief and tramped up the steps to the front door. Finding it locked she moved around the outside of the house until she found an unlocked window. With all her strength she shoved and the window gave way. Jumping up and catching on to the ledge she pushed ehrself in. The dogs whined underneath the window. "Go round to the front door and I'll let ya both in," Prissy pronounced. Looking around she saw that she was in what was once a diningroom now tired and old and stripped of it former glory. Cobwebs festooned to corners, larger than any Prissy had ever seen. Floor boards creeked under her small feet as she padded out of the room and entered a long hallway. Feeling the slightest bit uneasy she kept out of the shadows and hurried down the hall to the front door. She wanted the dogs with her as soon as possible. Prissy was sure she had heard some scuttling noises as she made her way tot he door. After some serious tugging she managed to unlock the door and fling it open. The dogs raced inside and Prissy slammed the door shut. "Well, come on let's explore the rest of the house and see where we wanna sleep." Turning towards the wide oak stairway Prissy and the dogs cautiously made their way up the stairs. Shadows followed behind them but they were unaware. |
| The next door neighbor woman came over to Stanly's side to see if she could be of any help. "Yes, you can, Karen, thanks so much. I really should go with Mayloona to the hospital. Prissy is upstairs sulking, and I need someone to watch her." "Should I go up there and try to talk to her?" Karen offered. "No that's okay, I have found the best thing to do with Prissy is wait until she calms down. That should take at least three hours. She will come downstairs when she is hungry!" "All right, Stanly, take good care of Mayloona. Prissy will be just fine, don't you worry!" As the ambulance sped out of the neighborhood, Prissy looked out of a dirty old window and watched it leave. She tried a brave laugh, but failed somehow. |
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