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Personality Management The black dye on his hands told her exactly how much he had been yanking his sock, literally. She exchanged the stress sock for his MP3 player when the flight began its final approach. He ignored the routine demand for all electronic devices to be turned off. After the flight attendant’s plea went unanswered, she leaned over his body, slipped her hand inside his jacket and disconnected the sound buds from the player. She removed the machine from his pocket with one hand and placed the alternative stress management tool in his lap. As if given a cue, the infant seated two rows ahead of them began to bawl. Almost twenty minutes later, the plane still sat on the tarmac waiting for clearance to pull to a gate; the child continued to cry and Jacob twisted the black sock harder. “My hands are disgusting.” He stared at the black lint stuck to his palms. “It’s not permanent.” Hana continued to thumb through her magazine undisturbed. “Do you think she fully appreciates the ability of her child to annoy others?” Hana closed the magazine. “You were doing so well Jacob. Not much longer.” She placed her hand on his knee and patted him a couple times; much in the way you reward a good dog for sitting pretty. “Maybe the kid isn’t hers? A mother would know how to keep it quiet right? I mean, a mother knows those things, doesn’t she?” A grin crossed Hana’s face as she watched his knuckles turn white. She appreciated how much restraint he was exercising, staying in his seat and not exploding at the unfortunate mother. Truthfully, she was surprised he had not yet combusted. Being trapped in a grounded plane with a crying baby at the end of a longer than expected and turbulent flight would test the patience of most anyone; especially that of an anxious smoker with anger issues. “Maybe she could put a pillow over the kid’s head?” Hana’s elbow lifted and landed squarely in Jacob’s midsection. He gasped for breath and knew he deserved the assault. She was always there to rein him in when he flirted with trouble. She was responsible for this so-called getaway. She had done a fabulous job of selling him on the idea. Her sales pitch still echoed in his head. “It’s all about you Jay. Four days dedicated to making you feel good. We’ll have time to sit around and do nothing. I won’t tell anyone if you get a massage every day. We can probably manage a daytrip to the Casino; it’s not even two hours from the hotel. I’ll even book a smoking room if you promise not to abuse the privilege.” He believed everything she said. He made a note to himself to call the doctor about having the “Sucker” tattoo removed from his forehead. In the comfort of the limousine, he enjoyed his scotch and many, many cigarettes. Jacob relaxed and basked in the silence, Hana sitting at his side not saying a word about the chain smoking. The cancer sticks were his reward for good behaviour on the flight. She was relaxed and at peace, not bothered by any of the day’s events. He wondered how she could do this? If anything pissed her off today, it was most likely riding in a car with the windows up, being trapped in a cloud of cancer causing chemicals. Still, she did not say a word. This trip was all about him. If she had to make some sacrifices, she would. “I like riding in a limo Hana. It makes me feel important.” The alcohol and nicotine had calmed him down. He was growing tired of the silence. “You know I don’t like driving in strange cities Jacob. We’ve never been here before which means I would get us lost. Arranging the limo seemed the smart thing to do.” “You mean since I can’t drive? Are you taking a shot at me?” “Not at all. Even if you could drive I would have hired the limo.” “If I could drive, we wouldn’t be here.” “Very true darling, very true.” He reached for her hand and held it tightly in his own. She had gone to great extremes to arrange this trip and get him enrolled in the workshop. It would take close to four months to finish his court ordered anger management counseling at home. He was only seeing the shrink once a week. Hana found this workshop where his rehabilitation would happen over four days. Provided he was a good boy, when they returned home he could trade in the red Schwinn bicycle for his keys to his Jeep. Jacob’s only reason for participating in this workshop was to have his license reinstated. He knew there was nothing wrong with his personality; the rest of the world was too sensitive. He would attend his sessions and do his best to do what was expected of him. He would take his Certificate of Completion and signed Notification of Attendance to his lawyer on the way home from the airport. The following day, he would once again be free to cruise the streets. He came to get his license back, not to be reformed. They brought the bags to the room, showered and changed clothes. They held hands as they walked along the water. They took turns trying to identify the different birds they could hear singing. Every so often they would stop and take in the surroundings. The tropical birds were easy to spot, most of them vibrant colours which popped against the green background of the rainforest foliage. The couple walked at a leisurely pace, the high humidity making it a tad difficult for Jacob to catch his breath. “If you quit smoking, walks like this would be easier.” “If I quit smoking, I’d be angrier and destined to ride a bike the rest of my life.” Laughter, voices and the sound of far more water than they could see, told them something exciting sat around the bend. They had set out with the intention of having a drink at the Splash Bar. According to the hotel literature “Splash is an exotic watering hole nestled at the base of Erie Falls”. Hana believed it sounded like a wonderful night out. Jacob wanted to be someplace he could drink and smoke. Splash fit everybody’s needs. The falls themselves were much grander than expected. Although it was one single collection of whitecaps at the bottom, the water came over the rock face in three different spots. At the highest point, the water dropped close to thirty feet. A stream drained into the falls a bit to the right of the peak and ten feet lower. The third spout appeared to come directly from a crack in the rock. The falls created a light mist which the two could feel at their table. Together they watched other lovers, families and tourists play in the water. At the opposite end of the lagoon was a swimming hole. It appeared to be occupied by bikini clad babes and muscle beach rejects. Jacob was not sure who was there to swim and who was there to look good. Hana was pleased with the resort. It was so much more than she expected. There were no obvious clues as to their actual location. An occasional waft of chlorine was the only reminder this was not a natural phenomenon in the tropics, but a manmade water park in Ohio. She would have no difficulties hanging out here doing nothing while Jacob was being fixed. “Hey folks.” He stood and nodded to the room. “I’m Jacob and I’m like the rest of you; I’m here because it’s been decided I need help controlling my anger.” “You don’t believe you have anger issues Jacob?” rebutted the leader. Jacob felt he was about to be screwed. The facilitator didn’t like his very first answer; evil little man with beady eyes and a greasy moustache. This was an honest answer. This was the reason he was here. The little ogre continued to question Jacob. “Do you feel angry Jacob? Do you believe you control your anger or does it control you?” Stuart stared Jacob in the eye as he questioned him. “I feel fine and I have no issues.” “Again I ask, why are you here?” his eyes still locked on Jacob. “All cards on the table?” “Of course Jacob.” “I’m here because a traffic court judge suspended my license, some nonsense about road rage. Before she reinstates my right to drive, she ordered I complete Anger Management counseling. Public transit sucks and I’m embarrassed to ride my bike to work, so here I am. Any other questions, Stuart?” “Would you like to hit me Jacob?” “Is that an offer?” “That’s not an answer.” Jacob couldn’t quite figure out where this was going. With a few exceptions, occurring in his younger years, Jacob had never hit anybody. Brick walls, yes. He broke two fingers. Plate glass windows, absolutely. The stunt earned fourteen stitches. There were several repaired holes in the walls at home and some dings in his Jeep. Was he ever tempted? Many times, but to date his fists had never connected with anything that had a heartbeat. “I wouldn’t waste my energy Doc. It’d probably land me in jail.” Jacob was sincere in his remarks. The one-on-one sessions started following the lunch break. Jacob was not sure what earned him the first interview. He had no idea what to expect from a private conversation with this man. A few deep breaths, a twist of his sock and he prepared himself to do whatever was necessary to get Stuart to sign his papers and his license retinstated. He would do whatever was asked with one exception; Jacob was not going to hit him. Stuart answered the door immediately. Jacob wondered if this was a good sign, bad sign or coincidence. “Did you bring your paperwork?” Stuart seated himself at one chair and asked his guest to take the chair opposite. Jacob pulled the forms from his back pocket and surrendered them to the doctor. The shrink took forever to read and review the papers. After an eternity of silence, which lasted less than two minutes, Stuart was ready to speak. “Jacob, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I want you to hear my words and not interrupt with your opinions. When I’m finished you can have all the time you want to refute my claims. Do we have an understanding?” “Are you going to sign my forms?” “Yes Jacob I am. “I’m listening.” They sat patiently waiting for their boarding call. They wondered aloud why airport bars still existed when airlines and security actively discouraged the patronage of these places. The airport bar used to be a refuge for smokers but even those days are long gone. He played with the bottle cap from his soda, spinning it on his thumb, trying not to think about having a cigarette. She continued to read, never reacting to his silly musings. Their activities were interrupted by the arrival of a family of six; mom, dad and four others under the age of eight. All were elated to overhear they would be travelling together. She grabbed his hand and rested her head on his shoulder. “Jacob, you need a sock?” “Thanks but no. It won’t help.” “What did he say to you? Why did he excuse you after only half a day?” Jacob laughed to himself and remembered the words of the doctor. “Jacob, I can’t help you. You have no business being here. The others in this workshop need my help. They have anger issues. You have a big mouth. You use your size to bully others and get your own way. You let your appearance intentionally intimidate people whom are doing things that disturb you. You are selfish, obnoxious and arrogant but I don’t think you’re angry. I suspect the judge assessed you counseling simply because she didn’t know what else to do with you. Being a fool is not punishable by law.” “What are you telling me Doc?” “My dear sir, you’re not angry, you’re an ass and that cannot be cured.” (Word count: 2,101)
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