Nancy's Poetry Review Forum

This is the first poem that I've written in quite a while. I went through it and made sure there were no spelling mistakes, but since it originates from my Grandfather's story, I want to pick out all the flaws and make it great. Some concerns I have is the set up of each stanza, and about words like travail. My purpose, other than finding a rhyming word that fits the situation is to have the child say "Mommy, what does travail mean?" Then bonus, kid learns new word. Anyways, I'm going to add a little tip, I'd really like to know how I can improve this. Thanks.

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