Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

 (This message was edited by caracas on 12-06-01 @ 4:32 pm EST)



Tsk, tsk, we don’t have to get personal, do we? We here at W&CCI regard postage as a form of an unfair and repressive tax on reputable businesses such as ours. And, further, we categorically deny that we ever purchased or tried to use black market stamps as you implied.

In addition, we resent your unfair attempt to besmirk the name of my beloved college. I did in fact attend a very traditional and much storied old school, Suggs Institute, and it was in those hollow ivy covered halls that I was indeed taught lots of stuff. Ten years I labored at my education and another thing, that so-called swear word was simply a misunderstanding on your part. I was in fact a common diminutive, which happens also to be the middle name of the president of our beloved school, Dr. Swarthmore P. Catorwahl, III. You simply misunderstood the situation, probably due to your tendency to, as we used to say at the gas station, blow a gasket, and I am glad to accept your apology for the unintentional besmirk. You are truly a big-hearted person. May your do well in all that you attempt.

Now as far as the Three Pigs Sausage Company, serves you right for doing business with such a disreputable, dishonest and deceitful company. Had you asked me before hand, I could have told you about those porkers. By the way, did I mention they are also fat? FAT pigs. Watch out for fat pigs. Oh, they smile a lot, but when your back is turned, they’ll squash you.

So, next time only do business with reputable and honest companies. May I recommend to you our Whine and Cheese Gift Christmas Pack for your entire gift giving needs? It will really be a hit with all your friends.

And may I address that vailed threat concerning the FBI. You don’t scare us. You can’t scare us with threats of protests to the FBI. We’re already on the FBI list, and the IRS’s, CIA’s, SPCEA’s, need I go further?

So, dear lady, may I say to you and those three bears, the Bearinstein bears, the brown bears, black bears, Polar Bears, Grizzly BEARS, PURPLE POKA-DOTTED WITH GREEN STRIPPED BOWTIE BEARS AND EVERY OTHER MEMBER OF YOUR CANTANKEROUS CLAN…Thank you for being a faithful and loyal customer and let me recommend our gift catalog for all your holiday gift giving needs. I remain

Whiningly yours,
Jim, Head Whiner
The Whine and Cheese Company, Inc.

And for the really cheap stuff use our toll-free number 32