Free to Write

Life changes at the blink of an eye--which is terribly cliché, but there you go. Six years ago today, my brother found me on the kitchen floor when he woke up in the morning. By the time I woke up, I was in the ICU. I missed the ER altogether. Type 1 diabetes.

I remember eating without having to plan my life around it. I remember staying up to all hours, working, forgetting to eat for hours on end. I remember when finger sticks were something that happened at the doctor's office and not every day. I remember when giving myself a shot was not routine.

Sometimes it's difficult to think that I've only been doing this six years. It feels like it has to have been longer, that I've spent eternity obsessing over my blood sugar and my A1C. But every time I pass this milestone, I think about it again. I don't want to have diabetes. It's inconvenient and never ceasing. There's no story to it. There won't be an end. Even though the pump keeps me better stable, it's still difficult. It makes me so tired.

I was probably tired before dx, but I don't remember anymore.