The Angel Outreach Program

Hi everyone,
I used to be a member here, but I forgot all my info, everything. So I created a new account to get back into the game.
Anyway, the point of this post is really that I'm on my last thread here. Let me explain:
I've been writing for over ten years, and my life is in a pretty big pickle.
I'm a brittle type one diabetic, and I work as a dog bather (and get harped on a lot about timing), the stress is causing a lot of distress. I live with my grandparents (grandfather battling lung cancer), my aunt, and two elementary school cousins. I work part time because of the stress and physical work that it requires, I'd be in the hospital continuously if I worked more hours than current.
I write constantly, and try to improve everything because I need to get published (not a want anymore, but a real need). I've had a number of years of rejections, joined multiple forums for critiquing and help but received slim to nothing. Yes, I am also aware that being published doesn't mean I can instantly quit my day job (if ever in some cases), but I'm sure it can help just a little, with trying to help care for my family the way they have cared for me.

I've been told all my life by parents mostly (who I currently have no contact with due to a lot of reasons) that I would never make writing my career. But my teachers (already graduated highschool, can't afford college) told me never to stop writing, and that a writing career was very well possible, I was even told this by a math teacher who I swear hated me. There was a guy who was helping me, we are still quite close and he offers advice, but illness has struck him as well so he's not able to help as readily as he used to be.

So, what I really came here for is to see if someone can and would be willing to help me. I have a completed project that I have posted on another forum, one person stepped in to help me on the very first chapter, but I haven't heard from him since, and they have limits as to how much can be posted (only so many thousand words per week). I know there are limits here with a free account, but I know that I can post a bit here since I did before.
I paid for Grammarly's service (yes, I know there are better ones out there, but I used what I could afford) and that helped quite a bit with some grammar and spelling errors. Mainly, what I am seeking is help with story (possibly) and how well the characters communicate with the reader (i.e. connection, emotion, etc). The biggest and most often thing I've heard from agents about it is: "I just don't connect with the story."
If anyone can help me with that, please...
I need help with making my story "pop" with agents and publishers.