Writing Hurts: Review Forum

Intro

It started dim the air stifled and the picture unclear. It was tilted on its axis and bent several degrees. But it's core remained in tact, hot and firey as it's always been. The ash from the ground drifted into the catalytic wind. As explosions in the sky ripped through the atmosphere. Occasionally you could hear the sounds of buzzing underneath the surface as if the planet itself were calling to you. A name that seemed like a forgotten dream. The firey veins pulsing beneath your feet like a neuron firing in your brain. Then the headaches would sink in...they stretch out like long fingers clasping a skull. It held you there like a child learning how to breathe. If you could imagine it was a place alienated from others far off into the stars. Feeding on itself until it could no more. It's eye only could truly be seen through the unknown. The black sand shifted into floating blocks tumbling against each other. It grew silent as the flesh rose from sand. A bedded dune settled as the rumble began... a low boom rippled through the sand as the child spawned through the vein of Gion.

Chapter 1-

A fish jumps into the air and a spear flies through its gills and into a rock. The pond emitting steam and static from its surface. The 3rd sun arced into the sky as it falls into the horizon.
"Got you" as Gion ripped the makeshift spear from its gills.
Darkness began to loosely expand over planet. Temperatures hit very cold marks as most of the water began to freeze over. And the shadows grew over the shapeshifting landscape.