The standard to which we all aspire
|Here it is, in all its glory:|
Your poem is very confusing and seems to need quite a bit of work I think. I got lost at the very begining. Your rhyme scheme is put off by not giving each their on line. You should go through and figure out where you want everything to be, It might make it better. I had to read it several to even understand what you were trying to convey.
Have a good day.
Anonymous and private, no less.