Daily Flash Fiction Challenge

'Lady Tubberford, I see the red sea is parting again!!'. ‘Pardon Henry, one does not follow!’.
‘The red sea is parting again Madame!!’ ‘Most baffling Charles, am I in danger, do I need to flee?’
‘mmmmmmmmmm, certainly no need to flee Madame, though one could find oneself a whimsical subject of light conversation at the gala ball.’
‘One is most confused, am I to be the target of ridicule at the ball, one would find that most distressing!!’.
‘Certainly not a target of ridicule Madame, your company is most enjoyed on all social occasions, one could say Madame, you had thought you had sailed up the river but in fact was just half way!!.'
‘I didn’t let off in an unladylike manner Henry?'
'Most certainly not Madam, if that was so, I would have excused myself from your company.'
'Am I in some sort of trouble, is this the incident regarding Lady Snottington at the afternoon tea, do I need to apologise again?’
‘How can one put it, ah yes:
If one found oneself as a gentleman that specialised in the retail of frocks and two ladies entered ones place of business to purchase a frock each, but requested the same frock, one would be most prudent to sell the lady of a more rotund figure a frock to complement her extended frame, however for the lady of slender proportion a smaller frock would be most adequate’.
‘Good Dickens, Henry, one is most certainly lost’.
‘Madame, when I engage in the consumption of the finer things in life to excess, without partaking in the art of exercise, one finds, what used fit oneself no longer does . Then one forces ones garment on until the pressure on the closing mechanism may give way and depart in an uncomplimentary fashion'.