Lewd Poems Contest

SEDUCTION IN THE SNOW

While driving through the driven snow
with my true love by my side,
a warm feeling of ribaldry
crept across my dirty mind.
I asked her if she'd ever
done the nasty deed in snow.
She told me that she'd never
but would give it her best go.

So we climbed out of our car
into a deep secluded drift.
Nimbly then our clothes came off
like opening a gift.
Heartily we held each other,
our buff-bare bodies all aglow,
in our little game of love we played,
our seduction in the snow.

Tenderly I tried to lay her
at our cold and snowy stop,
but her backside couldn't bear it,
so she opted for the top.
Men are funny kinds of creatures
with some parts smaller than they think,
and as my bottom touched the ground,
those parts began to shrink.

She giggled as I shivered there
feeling like a helpless jerk.
There would be no satisfaction
from little parts that wouldn't work.



The Long Lonely Voyage

In a galaxy far, far, away
on a daring mission to a distant sun,
flew a gregarious Captain Ray,
aboard his spaceship, The Naughty One.

Across the tumultuous cosmos
past the whimsical quixotic zone
he rode his scurrilous missile
like an amiable vertical bone.

When he reached the forlorn planet
he guided his hedonistic ship
deep inside a hot steaming crater
then fired his thrusters from the hip.

Some say Ray was reprehensible.
Some say the blame should fall on us.
But I say he was a lustful eccentric
the day he probed Uranus.