Sunni's Review &Edit - closed

 (This message was edited by sunnygal136 on 05-05-03 @ 4:25 pm EDT)

I just love short things to read and review! This sounds like it will turn into an interesting little adventure.

Here are my suggestions for changes:

1) You write: Noticing it is 12 noon- lunch time- and kitty has not eaten anything all day. I would cut "Noticing" and just say It is 12 noon- lunch time- and kitty has not eaten anything all day.

2) You write: Since she is the only one who can see herself in cat form, the other patients see a woman walk in on all fours and rush over to the plant and start stuffing the stalks of the plant into her mouth, not a cat.
You could break this into a couple of sentences: She is the only one who can see herself in cat form. The other patients see a woman -not a cat- walk in on all fours, rush over to the plant and start stuffing the stalks into her mouth. I cut a few words - "Since", "and", "of the plant" I then changed the position of "not a cat".

3) You write: The other patients watch horrified as the woman hungrily gobbles down the poor plant. Put commas around "horrified".

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Writing is an Expression of the Mind and Soul---Sunni17