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Rated: E · Message Forum · How-To/Advice · #516836
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May 5, 2003 at 4:44pm
#637573
Review of "Our Delusion" by I am siamese
Good introduction to this character and ain't it the truth? Kitties get away with murder, just because they know how to use their cuteness and cunning!

Here are my suggestions for changes:

1) You write: Kittiesfavorite past times c:red}are hitting up friends for kitty treats, pouncing on them, late night prowling on Writing.com, and occasional demolition work. IE climbing curtains shredding them and eating house plants or kneading furniture!" put and apostrophe after "Kitties 'favorite past times are : " and a colon after "are". Then instead of ending the sentence and starting the next one with IE (which should be i.e.) you could just write: ...occasional demolition work such as climbing curtains, shredding them and eating house plants or kneading furniture!

Hope that all made sense!

Thanks for submitting your work to "Sunni's Review &Edit - closed
Writing is an Expression of the Mind and Soul---Sunni17
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Review of "Our Delusion" by I am siamese · 05-05-03 4:44pm
by SnowyChicago

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