"Ahh" Mike happily sighed as he felt the wind rush against his face. Every once and a while, Mike liked to go on a nice bike ride around his small town. He liked the speed and seeing all the sights his neighborhood had to offer. It reminded him of how lucky he had it and how beautiful the world could be. Mike would usually takes these rides when he was confused or angry; the rides would calm him down. But today, he just decided to ride because it was pretty nice outside and didn't have much else to do. As he rode, he slowly realised his shoelaces had untied and was close to being caught in the chain. Then one of his shoelaces got stuck in his chain. Mike tried to slow down and would of been fine but with all the craziness going on with his showlaces, he failed to notice an old woman in front of him.
"Oof" grunted the old woman and Mike in unison. The pair fell flat on the concrete sidewalk and Mike's bike crashed into a near by bush. Mike quickly got up and apologetically said "I'm sorry miss, i wasn't being safe. I'm so so so sorry". The old woman wasn't responding but she was shaking a bit on the ground. Mike was freaking out, he hurt some stranger and he had no idea what to do. "Can you stand? Here let me help you" as mike reached his hand to the old woman , she quickly smacked his hand away. Mike quickly retracted his hand and stared at her in confusion, while she float her upper body back into a standing posistion. Her now visible face was wrinkly and rage filled.
"You clumsy motherfucker!" She yelled in her suprisingly young voice. Mike, who knew he should be frightened by this furious elderly floating person, found himself with a very confused expression. He didn't really understand what was happening and didn't know hot to react. "Are you even listening, you stupid cocksucker!" She yelled again.
"Yes" Mike spit out as he snapped out of it and came back to reality.
"Great, the retard can understand me." She screamed in response. "Do you have the slightest clue who just just ran over? You just fucked with the wrong lady!"
"I said I was sorry miss, it was an accident" He said calmly, starting to become confused again. "My shoelace got stuck in my chai..."
"I don't give two shits how it happened, it was still your damn fault!" She interrupted becoming even angrier. Mike was starting to realize that there was no getting through with this lady and started to walk away. "Look, I didn't mean to hit you and I'm very sorry but I've got to get going." He said as he walked towards the bushes to get his bike. He needed to get the hell away from the screaming floating bitch. While he was walking, the woman starting floating towards him and punched him on the back of the head. "Fuck ow!" Mike cried as fell towards the ground once again, gripping his wounded head. He turned up to face the same annoying lady floating over him.
"You don't get to walk away, you silly shit!" she growled, her wrinkly face was now beat red.
"Whats with the whole floating thing?" Mike asked randomly as he couldn't think of a smart thing to say and was now very confused. and hurt.
"You more of a dumbass than you look" she cackled at his question. "I'm a witch, genius"
"Oh, i should of known," He said sarcastically. How the fuck was he supposed to know that. Mike really did not like this lady.
"You know what, you puss filled asshole? I'm going to curse you!"
"Because I hit you with my bike?"
"Yes, plus I just don't like you"
"This all seems very unnecessary, I didn't mean to hit you, dammit!"
"Well too bad, i've already decided to curse you, nothing you can do now."
"Well fucking fantastic" Mike said in defeat. He couldn't think of a more unfair situation he has ever faced. He gave up trying to reason with the witch, since she wasn't listening anyways.He was still very confused, maybe this wasn't happening. This seemed too stupid to be real. He found that thought relaxing and focused on it.
"There," The witch said after a long moment of silence, making mike jump "The curse is now placed, have fun fucker!" She laughed harder than anyone Mike had heard before and disappeared in a poof of red smoke.
"Huh," Mike said as he stood up. He looked all around and couldn't see the lady anywhere. He felt his head where she hit him and it was bleeding. "Wait" he said out loud in amazement/relief as he came to the conclusion that maybe he landed on his head when his bike crashed and he dreamt the whole thing when he was passed out.Thats got to be it, he thought and sighed once more.
"I guess I'll wear my helmet next time" he laughed as he picked up his bike and starting riding home. He felt exhausted and drained. It was only 8:00 pm but he never felt so tired in his life. After he took the long ride home, he went immediatly to his room and went to bed. Little did mike know, but the witch made it so the curse wouldn't be in effect until tomarrow.
That morning, he awoke to find...
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