In front of a secluded beach in Southern California a battered RV bakes peacefully in the sun, its three occupants snoring loudly and contently in their personal slice of heaven. Unfortunately for them, their morning was about to get much louder and much less peaceful. It all started with the sound of an ancient electronic alarm going off, its shrill shrieks stirring the vehicle/apartment's occupants.
The first to speak was the one seated with a tattered blanket thrown over him in the driver's seat. Known as Jones he was a relatively tall and lean man in his mid early to mid thirties, though no one knew his exact age. Or his last name. Or if Jones was even his real name. Or why he never shaved the scraggly and uneven patches of black he called a beard. Unwilling to leave his chair just yet, Jones called back "Kristi! Alarm!" The alarm continued to beep. "Kristi! It's your turn to get the alarm!"
Refusing to move from the sleeping bag she resided in Kristi Fields grumbled "Nuh uh, I got it yesterday! It's totally your turn, man!"
"BS, you say that every freaking morning! I got it yesterday, you haven't turned off the alarm in like a year!" Jones countered angrily, not sure if he actually had turned off the alarm yesterday or not but definitely sure that Kristi didn't do it.
"SHUT UP!" A third voice demanded, the short and well curved olive skinned body belonging to said voice rising ominously from the RV's only actual bed like Count Dracula. A half hateful and half asleep glare scanned the room for the source of the damnable beeping. Sighting the alarm amidst a heap of greasy but clean picked Chinese takeout boxes, the dour young woman tossed her blanket aside and stumbled stumbled to her feet, revealing that she'd gone to sleep in her stained, crumpled, and slightly musty Dan's Diner uniform. The name tag she'd not bothered to remove before collapsing into her bed read "Collie Summer at your service!" This was in spite of the fact that her name was actually Collie Sumter, though she doubted her boss noticed the mistake or cared enough to fix it.
Stumbling over to the alarm,nearly tripping over a half dozen curios Jones had scrounged up with his metal detector, magazines Collie had read enough times to memorize, and wrappers for microwave meals that Kristi had been too lazy and to whiny to take down the street to the nearest public trash can, Collie commented "Jeez, you two are such big babies. It's a wonder either of you can hold down a steady job. OH WAIT! YOU CAN'T!"
Jones scoffed at the remark, and waved a dismissive hand as he said "Forgive me, your majesty, for not wanting to involve myself in the soul crushing system of the man that is capitalism."
"I swear to God if you charged a penny of rent I'd leave you two freeloader hippies to starve so fast..." Collie muttered. While she technically paid for just about everything the three of them used, including food, water, gas, power, clothes, RV repairs, and about half of their surfing equipment, the RV was Jones', as was the amazing private parking spot right on the beach that he legally owned due to a loophole in California state zoning law (which he inexplicably knew), and he allowed she and Kristi to live there rent free for as long as they chose to, which was coming up on three years for Kristi and was just over four for Collie herself.
Collie turned the alarm off, and was about to make a jab about Jones' general hippie attitude and constant crazed ramblings about the sinister machinations of 'the man', when she noticed something odd out of her peripheral vision. Turning to get a better view she stared at her housemate Kristi's sleeping bag, noting that while her head was poking out the end of it the bag itself seemed... flat. As though there was nothing in it. Walking over to it Collie took hold of the fabric and lifted the sleeping bag off the ground, her eyes widening in shock at the sight before her.
"AH!" She screamed, dropping the empty bag to the grimy floor.
"Jesus, what?!" Kristi asked, looking in annoyed confusion at her horrified friend.
"Y-your body!" Collie said, pointing below Kristi's neck.
"What about my..." Kristi stopped, realizing that she couldn't look down. Her neck twitched but her head simply refused to look down. Concentrating, Kristi realized that not only could she not move, but she couldn't even see her body below her relatively small nose. "What the hell is going on? I can't move!"
Hearing the commotion Jones slides out of his chair and turned to the living area. Upon seeing what Collie saw he stumbled back and said simply "Woah!"
"Would someone explain to me what's wrong?!" Kristi demanded, her friends' horrified expressions rubbing off on her.
Jones and Collie looked at one another, exchanging a wordless expression that ended with both of them nodding. Collie turned back and placed her hands around Kristi's head and lifted her up. Kristi made unintelligible noises as her friend effortlessly moved her, as though she weighed only a couple pounds. Collie then turned her around and carried her into the bathroom area of the RV, showing her the mirror.
"MY BODY!" Kristi screamed, tears welling up in her eyes. Kristi used to have the athletic body of a twenty five year old professional surfer (what with her BEING a twenty five year old professional surfer, along with both her twenty four and 32-36ish year old housemates), well muscled and darkly tanned with a nice plump butt and small yet perky breasts. Now, however, she had nothing, she was merely a thin faced and dirty blond head being carried by her friend Collie. "What the hell happened to me? Where the hell is my freaking body? How am I supposed to compete in the Riptide Royale now?!"
"I don't- Wait." Collie stopped, turning her friends' head to face her. "Seriously? You're worried about that surfing competition now? You're a talking severed freaking head and your first concern is a stupid contest?"
"WE'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR MONTHS!" Kristi whined "THE PRIZE WAS $25,000! THE CONTEST IS IN A WEEK AND HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPETE WHEN I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BODY!"
Collie shook her head "I can't even... Look, just calm down alright? Let's just think about this. You're still alive despite being severed from your body and missing your... basically every vital organ. That means we can assume your body is alive even without your head. All we have to do is find it."
Kristi tried to calm herself, breathing more slowly. "Yeah, yeah you're right. We just need to find my body. After that we can... do something. Find a way to reattach me. Whatever, first things first we have to find me."
Jones entered the restroom with the two girls "Can you feel your body? Maybe if you can feel it we can get a better idea of where
it is."
Kristi closed here eyes, concentrating. "I... I can feel...
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