INTRO/PACING/IMAGERY-- The intro to this story grabbed me from the get go. It was paced extremely well and left me wanting only to read more and more. You have a serious gift for writing. You're Imagery was intense and powerful. I felt Night's power and rage as well as Cora's timid bravery and love. Superb!




GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION-- I found only a few minor errors. I expect a few errors because nobody's perfect, this story had less than I expected so well done there. I am not going to mention the errors as they were very minor. A quick read through will find them.




DIALOGUE-- Amazingly well put together. The dialog never felt forced or unlikely. Cora's timid nature came through very brightly as did her strength and feelings for her love. Night's dialog was powerful and direct, yet you could feel, in his words, his hesitation and frustration for wanting Cora.




SUSPENSE/DRAMA/CLIMAX/TWIST-- Wonderful scenes of action and well told drama made this story worth reading several times. The passion involved in this story is consuming and therefore is timeless. Hades and Night in conflict was excellent! The power between them and the relationship growing with hatred and reluctance was great! Well thought out and written.



COMMENTS / SUGGESTIONS-- No suggestions, this is great and stands, by itself, oon it's own merit. This was such a joy to read and review. Thank you for sharing with WdC and keep on writing!



         5.0 for Creativity, Talent and Imagery.








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