1969 Christmas Play
by
Joel aka Brother Nature

I was the new kid in David Livingston Elementary School's grade three class. The year was 1969, and I was eight years old. Everything was going fine. My first First report card had been sent home. Every box on the report card was marked VG (very good). My teacher's written comment was; italicize this. Joel is easily distracted, as well as a distraction to others, or something to that effect. ... or something to that effect is extraneous and takes away from your sentence. I would drop that.

It was early November when our teacher, a nice young lady, I don't recall her name, so I'll refer to her as, Miss Teacher, read aloud to the class the poem, TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. She read the entire long version of the poem. If you are not familiar with this poem, I recommend you read it. The poem is easily found on-line or in your local library. I would cut I recommend you read it ...
The opening to the paragraph above is awkwardly worded. I would change it to make it smoother. In early November, our teacher read a poem aloud to the class, ...
The reason she read this poem in early November was to announce to the class that, our grade three class was going to be performing in our school's Christmas Concert, and we would be presenting the poem, TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, as a play. You can shorten this: She announced to the class that we would perform this poem in the school's Christmas Concert.
She went on to say that, we were going to put on the best performance ever, better than any of the other classes. Better than the grades four and five and yes even the grade sixers. She talked, on and on, and on, blah blah blah this, blah blah blah that.
Show the dialogue above. Have her talk on and on. It would work really well to show it.

Miss Teacher droned, on and on, blah blah blah blah blah, as visions of sugar plums danced in my head. The buzzer sounded, waking me from a deep day dream sequence, and alerting me to the fact it was at last time to go home.
Use dialogue here with the teacher. Then have the buzzer sound and your reaction. You just tuned her out and heard blah blah blah.
Every day after that, Miss Teacher would at some point halt our regular grade three curriculum, and we would begin working on producing this Christmas play.
Every day, Miss. Teacher Halted our regular schedule and we worked on the Christmas play. You have different tenses in the above paragraph and the one below. I'm trying to make it consistent throughout.


"Who wants to play the role of Santa Claus?", she queried. No comma after a question mark. Check this throughout the story.

"Me! Me! Me!", no comma after an !" all of the boys, including me, repetitive. All the boys says the same thing as including me. shouted out.
Then she asked, "who wants to be one of the eight reindeer?" Capitalize the first word in quotes. In the case above, it would be Who.
I had my hand up, but wasn't chosen.

"Don't you write my name down for that", The comma goes inside the quote marks. that," I shouted out.

Miss Teacher replied, Capitalize Don't.It is the first word spoken and needs to be capitalized. "don't worry, Joel, I already have a part in mind for you".



Use dialogue here to make it funnier below. The teacher keeps asking. This is just a suggestion.
Miss Teacher suggested again that I should ask my mom for help with it. I got the impression; she didn't believe that I was as good at making costumes as I had claimed to be. I should have told her that I had made my own clown costume for Halloween just a few weeks ago. I made it out of old clothes right out of our closets at home. I even did my own make-up, using a stick of my mom's lipstick. At each and every door that I trick or treated on, I was greeted with an excited remark, such as; Oh MY! Look at the funny clown!! I probably made the best costume of all Halloweens ever.
The comments on his costume, don't sound promising. Uh oh....

It took a while for that to sink in, but when it did, I realized my part would not offer much opportunity for me to showcase my acting ability. At that point comma I pretty much lost interest in the whole production.
The emotional impact for the reader is huge here. Great job!

My only responsibility was to have a mouse costume ready for the big day.
Great emphasis on this point at this juncture in the story. I can't wait to see what he comes up with for a costume. Oh Boy!

The ingenuity of the boy was terrific. I wish I could see the costume. Great stuff!

The tin foil would sparkle and shine in the spotlight.

l'll probably be the star of the whole concert.

I am getting misty eyed reading this. The dreams of the little boy are so dear.


Mom went on ..."Well I don't have any gum. You kids go through my purse and take all my gum. Get your teacher to help you with it. You better get going or you'll be late for school. I waisted wasteda can of soup, cooking for you. They have a concert and don't tell anybody until the day of the concert. I can't believe they would do that. What's the matter with people? Why would they have a concert in the afternoon? Doesn't anybody in this neighborhood work? Are they stupid? What's the matter with people? You didn't even have time to eat. Get going, or you'll be late. You used all of my tin foil. Now I have to buy more tin foil. You kids think I'm made of money, and don't you forget to bring your sister's leotards back. end quote here.
The mom's diatribe when he made his costume was hilarious. Truly classic.


*Star*
and
Joyce
smiled at me
as she walked up
to her house.
Merry Christmas Joel
you were a real cute mouse.

Even though his parents never showed. The little boy handled the situation with great maturity. This ending was very moving and dear.

I absolutely loved this. It brought so many memories to mind. An adorable read.
~Golden

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