Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Birthday

Overall impression of piece: Interesting. I seem to be trapped outside the airlock with you. Can infinity be eternity? I think it can be. Some say we call god those things we can't quite understand. I am not one of those, but I do think there are useful things we can know and understand. A little reminiscent of Space the final frontier (although not a plagarism) but the tone is there. It may be what people felt like when they just thought to themselves

Grammatical and spelling errors: You have a lot of passive voice here. What if (and I am brainstorming, if you don't like it that is more than ok) is an acative observer--a presence of its own. That way it could have these observations and be seen and described better.

What I liked? There are ripples of eternity here. I think we can begin to say and think about what that might look like. Man is the only being who can do that. If we ask a monkey, I doubt if he could comment. I have a piece in the works about what animals know. I love wripples across the abyss. I can see that. Maybe you could give an explanation--even if its bogus like reflections of gamma waves--but you could still leave as wripples across the abyss

What I disliked: Sentience. This in the definition i have. 1. The quality or state of being sentient; consciousness.
2. Feeling as distinguished from perception or thought. Could it be described better as that who knows? I haven't had many sentiences come up to me on the street as of late. Maybe later if the economey doesn't improve

How the piece made me feel: I am not sure what we are going to look at from here. Is there a climaxx that is drawing us into something. Interesting thoughts

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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