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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3927799
Review #3927799
Viewing a review of:
Starship Sentry  [E]
Two stories, two genres, read it once and get "new eyes" to read it again.
by Jack Goldman
Review of Starship Sentry  
Review by A*Monaing*Faith
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks fantasy newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!


*Reading* Initial hook: not a huge fan of super technical sci-fi so that turned me off at first but I like the final twist

*Pencil* Storyline:dog takes his duties as a Sentry VERY seriously

*Tiedye4* Characters:Sentry and Commander (Owner)

*Home* Setting:any town, anywhere

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone:mechanical, A.I., manufactured

*Telephone* Dialogue:only bit of dialogue completely changed the story

*Suitheart* What I liked:The Sentry snapped to, his loyalty emotion long ago programmed to override his thoughts

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)


*BulletG*The Sentry ran to the entrance, and whimpered in gratitude
is sentry a mechanism in dog form/shape?

*BulletB*Now that you have discovered ... I invite you to re read it from that perspective to see and feel how the story changes.
got it; very nice;

*BulletR*A non-human construct, the Sentry conveyed messages that were measured and short so they could be easily understood.
think this was the 1st line to make me think Sentry was a R2-DZ/A.I. type being

A few parting comments...
shame you aren't around WDC anymore :'( surely you're a published author now, *sigh*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer
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